What fit people are really thinking in the gym

Random thoughts from today....

• Why is he wearing a hat indoors? Bald or trying to look trendy?
• If my shorts ride up anymore doing abs work I'm going to be singing soprano.
• Whatever is on that phone must be truly fascinating.
• Nice squat technique.
• Why try and do an exercise resembling an awkward dumbbell row using an incline bench press machine when there's loads of dumbbells available to actually do a dumbbell row?
• That neon yellow shirt really needs a volume control.
• What a stupid looking cyclist's tan (mine BTW).
• Is gravity stronger than normal today?
• What's for dinner?

Me doing 20 alternating lunging jump squats on each leg "This is some BULLSH!T"

The thing with lifelong anxiety and a history of bullying, is that I can logically know adults have something better to do than to judge me. But the few that did or still do are why we are anxious. There is always someone who feels entitled to make comments about others. But thank you for sharing your insight and how you behave. I'm sure other gym goers who have these anxieties quietly appreciate you

Mine is usually "Okay, I'm going to do a HIIT workout on this treadmill for 30 minutes." Then a few minutes later. "OMG, I might die.....can't breathe. How many minutes have I been running...20 minutes at least, right?" Then i look down and see that I've only run 5 minutes. "Crap."

I need to warm up, but I really don't feel like it. Should I anyway? Is it really necessary? Fine, I'll warm up. Stop judging me.

I spend most of my time between sets complaining in my head about the utter inability of people to pick up after themselves and/or debating whether it's even worse when they do "put things away" when they're inevitably in the wrong place.

Not necessarily a super fit person but today at the gym I thought about this thread...threadception?

This thread is wonderful.

My thoughts are usually:

Locker Room
- I need to pee before I go in
- Hurr hurr I got changed at home so I am soooo speedy and ready to go!
- Damn, forgot my water bottle.
- Someone has stolen my locker! Today is the worst day ever.
- Did I pee already? I need to pee again.

In The Gym
- Don't fart. Do not fart.
- Oh God why does it smell so bad???
- She's hot. Don't stare, you look like a creeper.
- Who the &*%$ left these heavy *kitten* plates on the leg press? Douchecanoe.
- She's hot.
- She's hot.
- He's hot.
- Mate, put your nipples away. What even is that top trying to be??
- Is my fiance done yet? Can I quit now?
- Need to pee again
- Durr hurr I farted on the treadmill.
- Oh man that guy is huge and terrifying and oh Jesus he's coming towards me am I using his machine oh God oh God oh no it's fine he's going over there. Never mind.
- Hot damn my *kitten* looks good in these leggings. Yeahhhh
- She's hot. Ooh, but resting *kitten* face. Yowch. Do I have RBF?
- Ooh there's The Stealth Ginger/Crazy Frog Man/That Guy That Looks Like My Ex (I name everyone in the gym based on arbitrary things I notice about them)

After Workout
- Food time, food time, time to eat some food!
- Holy Moley I smell like *kitten*. Wheesh.
- Fiance also smells like *kitten* so I guess we match?
- Everything hurts
- I should have taken a picture of that super hot person doing bendy things. Is that creepy? Almost certainly. Hm.

What people think when they go to the pool to swim laps:

-Do I have to pee? I should probably pee before I get in. I wonder if this pool has that fabled dye that detects pee?
-Why didn't I shave my legs?
-I left my towel at home...again.
-I think my boob popped out...again.
-My suit is up my butt...again.
-Wall.

Surprisingly the only time I ever notice another swimmer is when they are in a lane that is too fast for them.

- Why do my quads hurt so much when I roll them? I bet no-one else's hurt this much. I should roll my quads more. Ow. Ow ow ow.

- Oooh, bench press is free. Go go go. I can totally crank out another 3 reps without dropping this on my face, right?

- Can I work in with that guy on the lat machine?
- Other guy on lats is doing the same weight as me! Hurrah!
- Oh, he's doing it with one arm. I'm a pathetic girl.
- No, I'm a super strong girl who at least is in the gym doing something. Well done me.

- Hang on, that guy's pulling the big tyre. With a 25kg plate on it. And a Bulgarian bag. I'm so jealous. That's like ALL the weight.
- And his PT is super cute. Maybe I should push it for another rep to impress him even though he'll never notice and I already have an amazing boyfriend. (I do this A LOT. I don't know why, but it does make me work harder!)

- How is that guy wearing trackies and a hoodie? Is he not absolutely melting?
- Why is hoodie guy arranging his half-folded hood around his ears in a really specific way? I'm so confused.
- Why is hoodie guy's range of motion about 2 inches on bicep curls? I don't get it.
- Ooooh they're playing the dance mix of Call Me Maybe!

My gym's in the City and full of everything from rather large middle aged executives doing battle with their beer bellies, to semi-pro rugby players, to a professional body builder and cover model. I'll totally admit to judging people for utterly horrendous technique, but that's about it.

OK, I'm not a "fit" gym person (as in, I'm still a beginner). Things I think:

On my way to the gym:

Yay! It's getting lighter in the mornings. Wonder when I'll no longer need the lights on the bike?
Shoot - is there enough charge in the light batteries to get me to the gym?
Am I going to beat my time cycling to the gym today?
Shall I sneak down a "no entry" road to cut a couple of hundred yards off my journey? I'd get away with it if I walk up the road instead of cycling . . .

Entering the gym:

Why do the stupid buttons always stick so that I have to enter my PIN twice???
Still haven't cleaned the stairs then, that (whatever) has been there for days . . .
What time is it?
Darn it, I am not the first one in this morning. I may have to communicate with others . . .
Why do so many people leave stuff in the lockers? Just where am I supposed to put MY stuff?
Bet I look really stupid going into a gym with a cycling helmet . . .

In the gym:

Better get on with it then.
WHO ON EARTH is grunting like they're in labour? I didn't see any women when I came in. I hope that there's no-one in labour . . .
What's that guy doing to the scales? He's taken off his shoes, got on the scales. Got off the scales, adjusted the scales, got back on. Now he's getting off again, shaking his head. Oh, I get it. He's not liking the numbers on the scale. I hope he doesn't hurt the scales . . .
Darn, someone is using the equipment I want. I'll have to change my whole routine now. He should have known that I wanted to use that next!
Why don't people bother to wipe their sweat off the equipment? Yuck. Well, I'm not wiping their sweat off. I do my own and that's enough. Ugh. People really are gross at times.
(Sees self in mirror) OMG, look at my hair. Cycling helmet hair. OMG. I hope no-one sees. OMG. That's why people have been smiling (grinning - laughing) at me. OMG. I need to go, this is so embarrassing. Where's the door? (attempts to flatten hair)
What time is it? Do I ring DH and get him out of bed? No, he's a grown up now. Do I ring DD and get her out of bed? No, she's old enough to to get herself out of bed.
If that guy forgets he's taken some weights off that bar, he's going to cause himself a serious injury (he was pulling a weighted bar up between his legs. I didn't watch).
OMG. My hair looks WORSE now I'm a bit sweaty. Sweaty cycling helmet hair. I'm doomed.


NB: I'm a bit of a people watcher. I am fascinated by others. I learn things by watching others. I don't tend to stare at people but I am interested in what they do.