Do you think fat people "ought" to lose weight?

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  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    Want to make it clear that none of my posts have to do with drug addiction, so stop judging me. I don't care about drug addiction, it does not interfere with my life, and if it did, I certainly would not be talking about it on a weight loss forum.
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.
    But clearly some people put those things on a par.

    And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".

    Now I think we are getting somewhere.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.
    But clearly some people put those things on a par.

    And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".

    Of course people who are overweight care for themselves, but I do think they care for themselves in the wrong ways. Buying nice shoes, or getting a manicure isn't going to make you feel as good long term as getting fit. I think people kid themselves into the easy route.

    BUT I don't think it's for anyone else to force someone to lose weight until they want to.
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,734 Member
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    I think you could ask any drug addict and they'd tell you they get a lot more villified than someone does for being a bit podgy.
    But clearly some people put those things on a par.

    And I *seriously* resent the idea that anyone who is fat doesn't care for themselves. Life is about priorities, you can NEVER be perfect. Just because a person has other priorities above their weight doesn't mean they "don't care about themselves".
    I agree with you completely, but I also think you can drive yourself crazy worrying about what other people think.
  • FK1983
    FK1983 Posts: 186 Member
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    I don't pick and choose my friends & loved ones based on how they look, and wouldn't reject someone because of it. However, just because someone is overweight and does not have health problems now doesn't mean they won't in the future. I love my husband very, very much. He is obese and had been for years, without health problems until a few years ago he was diagnosed w/diabetes, and since then, he has deteriorated. He has failed to follow doctor's orders to lose weight & he is paying a big price for it (and the family too!). He has been hospitalized 5x this year for heart issues.

    No, I don't reject people who are obese/overweight. Beauty is skin deep. But I don't know if you can be very overweight without suffering some kind of health problem down the road.

    Just my 2 cents worth. :flowerforyou:
    ^ Toally agree to this

    I've been there as have many others on here (being overweight) and even if they didn't have health problems now there is no doubt at all that if they stay overweight they will have serious health issues in the future.

    When I was over 260lbs I was ALWAYS out of breath, I had a very rapid pulse (90bpm average) and had dangerously high blood pressure, I was only 27 years old! after losing the weight I have no issues at all, my blood pressure is actually a tad low! and my resting heart rate is 54bpm which is very good (it sounds low but if you walk/run/cycle/swim a lot this is expected so is actually very good lol)

    So as someone who was very "large" I feel I do have more relation and understanding to this topic (same for anyone who was large and is now smaller), I think you'd have to be mad having a friend or loved one who could be in danger without ever at least trying to help, what if they had a heart attack and died and you never offered advice or help with their weight? I'd feel soooo guilty.

    Would I say something to a stranger? no and that is up to them what they want to do but to a friend or loved one I certainly would offer help or any advice that I could but obviously in the nicest way possible!
  • SarahLovesCheesecake
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    fatness...

    Is fatness a word?:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,734 Member
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    Yup. From dictionary.com:

    fat•ness – noun
    1. the state or condition of being fat; obesity; corpulence.
    2. richness; fertility; abundance: the fatness of the land.
    Origin: before 1000; Middle English fatnesse, Old English fǣtnes. See fat, -ness
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    If someone is fat, and doesn't have health problems because of being fat, do you think they "should" lose weight? Would you in any way look down on them or reject them if they chose to live with their weight instead of struggling to change it?

    Why or why not?

    Do I think they should? Yes, but that isn't my decision. Though, it does irritate me when someone complains about an issue yet does nothing about it.

    Look down on them? I must admit I would. Someone making an effort to be better I would respect. Someone who makes excuse after excuse, and shifts blame, not at all. Why should I?
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

    So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

    Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

    Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

    I am ...flabbergasted there's people who think being 200lbs is equivalent to being a drug addict (and I am very sympathetic to drug addicts). It's shocking that people think like this :/

    You'd really feel the same if your kid was fat as you would if you caught them smoking meth? Seriously?

    My thing is whether my kid is smoking meth or filling their face...there is still a deep issue regardless of whatever method they choose to calm themselves. Are drug addicts better off? Of course not. But does that mean being overweight/obese is? Um no.

    Again, my stance is what people do with their body is their business and the business of their family and friends. If you wouldn't tell a person they should lose weight, why would you tell anyone else struggling with the addictions you mentioned that they need to stop? Would you?! Most of them know they need to stop....but like someone who overeats or uses food as a crutch, they just don't know where to start. What irritated me is that your statements made it sound like being overweight is "just not a big deal".
  • lsd007
    lsd007 Posts: 435
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    If someone is fat, and doesn't have health problems because of being fat, do you think they "should" lose weight? Would you in any way look down on them or reject them if they chose to live with their weight instead of struggling to change it?

    Why or why not?



    Weight is a personal choice. While it could affect those close to an overweight person (spouse, children, etc.) , it's not like he/she would be going around forcing his/her lifestyle on complete strangers. Besides, your view of "fat" may be completely different mine. If someone has no health side effects from being overweight than I am guessing they probably don't fall under my definition of "fat".
  • PositiveGoals
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    It's not a matter of "if" an obese person has health problems. It's a matter of "when" obese people will have health problems. Most obese people have sleep apnea and do not even know it. Sleep apnea can lead to some serious health problems. It is inevitable to become diabetic and develop cardiac issues. I won't go through the list of health risks. What I will say is the reason there are not many obese elderly people is because obese people do not live that long. The small handful of obese elderly actually get obese in their old age but spend a lifetime at a healthy weight.

    For someone to be morbidly obese, there has to be some level of emotional issues, physical or emotional trauma, depression, or low self esteme. Many obese people have been physically or sexually abused. An even greater amount of obese people have abandonment issues. Usually stems from single family homes. (Please do not get hyper sensitive-this is from research not an opinion). I say that because I used to take offense to it having grown up in a single parent family. Then in my adult years met my father who is also morbidly obese LOL. So who knows. But nobody should judge anyone.

    One final note. Those people who make comments like they do not believe an obese person cannot do exercise just because they are obese and can, they should not be so judgemental. Every person has a different build, height, age, and family history. If you have people in your family who have had heart attacks, you may be afraid to exercise when obese. I have my husband spot me even for aerobics and swimming just incase of a problem. Exercise is painful for many obese people (even at 250lbs) I started to struggle with exercise at 300lbs. I am now over 400lbs & can only exercise in a pool.

    I was happy and proud to see the majority of people in this forum believe they should not judge. To answer directly, yes I do think fat people "ought" to lose weight. I believe this for their health, happiness, and future. Not because of the opinions of others, because of attractiveness, or because some misguided people see them as simply lazy.
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
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    Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me. That sounds like a selfish decision at the expense of others. Please, think about how your choices effect others, including your friends and family.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me.

    I don't know what the case is where you are but in the UK (where I am) obese people, like smokers, actually have a net benefit to the State in fiscal terms. Why? Because they die younger meaning less cost over the course of their lifetimes. One of the biggest issues facing most developed countries is that of any ageing population which exceeds the replacement rate.

    You could argue that they have more benefit than fitter, healthier people who live longer and then take a huge amount of cost to support when they get elderly. Selfish slim people...
  • lsd007
    lsd007 Posts: 435
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    I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

    So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

    Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

    Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.




    Being overweight is the same as being a drug addict? Your ticker shows you have a bit of weight left to lose, so exactly how much "selfish acting out" have you done?

    Don't judge people.
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
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    Yes, for the public good. Those who overeat put a burden on our food and medical systems, raising the price of both for everyone. That doesn't sound like a "personal choice" to me.

    I don't know what the case is where you are but in the UK (where I am) obese people, like smokers, actually have a net benefit to the State in fiscal terms. Why? Because they die younger meaning less cost over the course of their lifetimes. One of the biggest issues facing most developed countries is that of any ageing population which exceeds the replacement rate.

    You could argue that they have more benefit than fitter, healthier people who live longer and then take a huge amount of cost to support when they get elderly. Selfish slim people...

    Got references?
  • leonardk09
    leonardk09 Posts: 86 Member
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    You know what? You shouldn't determine someone's happiness based on what the greater good of the population "should be". If they are happy, then let them be. It's called body acceptance. A huge group of people in the US/UK/CA are fighting for body acceptance, and fat shaming is a huge issue.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Got references?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1577636/Healthy-people-place-biggest-burden-on-state.html

    I haven't read the study the article was based on I have to admit but logically it makes sense to me.

    As the article also states this not to say that taking steps to curb obesity isn't desirable or indeed necessary. of course it is. However, using the "you place a greater burden on the taxpayer" stick on obese people is not warranted.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    I feel it is the most selfish form of acting out that a person can do.

    So ...methamphetamine abuse, anorexia, having unprotected sex with strangers, dangerous driving, cutting - all these things PALE in the face of the great evil that is being 200lbs? Really?

    Nope, they're all pretty equal in my eyes.

    Please stop trying to rationalize things so you can hear what you truly want to hear.

    So you would feel the same way about being a drug addict or getting an STD as you do about being overweight? I'm not obese but this boggles my mind. It is BOGGLED! I'd rather be overweight than have sex with strangers. Ew.
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
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    "Ought" is a laden word. I try to stay away from imposing that word on others. That said, do I think someone who is young and healthy here and now should be complacent with his or her obesity, I'd encourage them to think about long term health.

    Health surprises pop up throughout the continuum of our lives. Obesity does impact surgeons, it can impact organs that aren't tested in routine physicals, our joints, our absorption of medications.
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
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    Got references?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1577636/Healthy-people-place-biggest-burden-on-state.html

    I haven't read the study the article was based on I have to admit but logically it makes sense to me.

    As the article also states this not to say that taking steps to curb obesity isn't desirable or indeed necessary. of course it is. However, using the "you place a greater burden on the taxpayer" stick on obese people is not warranted.

    That just reinforces my point. Healthcare may not have been the best target, but I was trying to be brief.
    From your article:
    Writing in PLoS, he warned: “It would be wrong to interpret the findings as meaning that public-health prevention, for example to prevent obesity, has no benefits.
    “Quite apart from health-care costs, the other costs to society from obesity are also greater because of absences from work due to illness and employment difficulties; these costs amount to considerably more than health-care costs.”