Do people try to tell you your weight goal is "too skinny" for you?

DapperDassie
DapperDassie Posts: 190 Member
edited November 18 in Health and Weight Loss
It's really annoying. I'm 5'7 started at 215 and now at 183.5. My goal is a 140 and gonna see how i feel but might even want to keep going for 5 or 10 lbs. I've had multiple people say I'll be too thin at 140 and should stop at 150 or 160? I don't think I40 at 5'7 is thin at all and also don't see how it's anyone business as well
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Replies

  • DapperDassie
    DapperDassie Posts: 190 Member
    toxikon wrote: »
    I'm the same height as you and my current weight is 155lbs... my goal weight is 130lbs.

    The only person who knows my goal weight is my SO, and he couldn't care less. As long as I'm healthy and happy.

    I don't share my goal weight with others and I simply avoid talking weight loss at all with my friends, family and coworkers. I don't like the judgement and I don't need advice or help. It's better not to bring it up.

    The only people I've told are close family and friends
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    It's totally individual, based on your body, your build, your preferences. There is such a thing as too thin, where people drift into anorexia. BMI is an imperfect measure, but it helps. You can look at the weight range for your height and see if a weight is totally outside of it. At 5'7" you'd be getting toward the low end of a healthy BMI, but you should be able to tell how you look and feel.

    For me at 5'5" given my build, I think 135 is about the lowest *I* should go, but someone who has a different build would look totally different at that weight. People tell me I should aim for 115.... But they also greatly underestimate my current weight... broad shoulders I guess.
  • dotwilldoit
    dotwilldoit Posts: 53 Member
    Agree with your reaction. People amaze me with rather intrusive opinions. For example, the ever present question ... can't you cheat once ? These people don't have your best interests at heart, but rather seek to bring you around to their self satisfaction and view of the world.

    As you get closer you may or may not reassess. 5'7" and 140 could be great depending on your frame and musculature. I am 5'10" and at 170. I like how I look now.. much less wouldn't suit me but that is my opinion about me... and certainly doesn't translate to you.

    I guess don't share your goal with anyone publicly going forward? Be your 'you' not theirs. if that makes sense
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    edited May 2017
    Your goal weight sounds pretty reasonable. It will obviously depend on your frame, how much muscle you carry, your goal physique etc.

    I am also 5'7 .. and I have been anywhere from 121lbs to 175lbs (at 38 weeks pregnant). My lowest weight was way too lean for my frame. I had no muscle and it was not a good look for me. I am pretty happy anywhere from 125-140.

    Best thing to do is to stop telling people your weight and goal and change the subject of they ask. It really is none of their business.
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    I think you'll also see how you feel as you get closer to that weight. Weight loss slows down as we get closer to our "optimal" weights, because the BMR goes down. You'll see at that point if you feel healthy, or you feel hungry all the time, do you look in the mirror and look healthy or do you look "run down" and so on. I mean, I know people with disorders will not see what's really in the mirror and feel they look too big even when they're thin, but as long as that isn't your issue, you'll know how you're doing as you near that weight.
  • EmPersson
    EmPersson Posts: 768 Member
    I'm the same height, and general build, and I maintained at 138 for years and was thrilled! I am looking (for now) to get down into the 150s, and then eventually (hopefully) into 140s. I'm sure you'll be fine. And, I'm with the others. No need to discuss numbers. Strategies, maybe, but not numbers. I wish you the best!
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    DapperDassie wrote: »
    It's really annoying. I'm 5'7 started at 215 and now at 183.5. My goal is a 140 and gonna see how i feel but might even want to keep going for 5 or 10 lbs. I've had multiple people say I'll be too thin at 140 and should stop at 150 or 160? I don't think I40 at 5'7 is thin at all and also don't see how it's anyone business as well

    It really does not work to compare. 140 @ 5'7" may work for you while it could be too low for someone else at the same height. You may find it better to not discuss specifics. IF someone is truly concerned about your efforts, let them know you are striving for a healthy weight.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I didn't really get that, but then I was very particular about who I shared my goals with.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    No, but I don't share my goal weight with anybody. I don't have an actual number goal weight anyway. In the beginning my goal was to get to a healthy weight and everything after that is based on how much jiggling goes on in certain places.
  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
    DapperDassie wrote: »
    Duchy82 wrote: »
    140lb seems perfectly reasonable to me for 5'7 that is a normal bmi. I'm the same height as you but are aiming a little higher (155lb ish) that's because personally I feel I would look too thin at 140 but I probably have a different build. Thing is people are so used to seeing overweight people they no longer know what normal is supposed to look like. Don't take any notice and do what makes you feel happy.

    I do have a somewhat larger build with big hips and breasts and that's why they claim I'll be too thin but i think even with my build 140 still isn't too thin. Thank you ❤

    You see I have the big butt and hips (being pear shaped) so at my current weight of 164lb my tops are already UK size 10 (US 8). I'm aiming for size uk 10/12 and as I'm nearly there, just the bottoms need to drop a size, I will be quite happy. That I'm happy matters more than anyone else's opinion.
  • OliviaCounts
    OliviaCounts Posts: 36 Member
    I'm going to request to add you as a friend because we have a lot of similarities and I think I can help!

    I've been on MFP for over 3 yrs. I maintained 135 lbs as a teenager, and went up over 200 lbs in my early twenties; and from the picture it looks like we have a similar build. I'm now at 135 (26 yrs old) and working to get down to 125. Its actually a healthy BMI (check out actress Mary Elizabeth Winstead, she's 5'8" and 126 lbs, and a similar build to me, and you, I think), but a lot of family members and friends think that's too thin for me. If I go down to 130 and I find that I'm cold all the time, or feeling lethargic, I'll put the five lbs back on and be content to maintain at 135 indefinitely. But I want to get rid of this last small amount of belly fat and I'm still comfortably losing. I won't go lower than 125 under any circumstances.

    If your family and friends keep bugging, you can either (A) shut the conversation down repeatedly, or (B) bring out the statistics backing you up: your measurements, calories per day, parameters of a healthy BMI etc. In the end, only you can make the right call, and your body will talk to you along the way, you just have to listen to it.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I haven't talked about my weight loss with people other than my dh and dd who live in my house with me. My goal is in the mid to upper healthy weight range for my height.

    You don't have to declare an absolute goal weight at this time. Right now the process is a bit more important than the final goal number. It can be hard for people to visualize weights I think.
    You could just tell these people that you want to get to a healthy weight for now and will see how you feel as you get closer. If you get to 160 or 150 you may decide you are good and maintain or you may decide to go on to 140. It may be hard for them to envision you at 140 now but it is not an unhealthy goal.
  • FreyasRebirth
    FreyasRebirth Posts: 514 Member
    Quick BMI, 21.9. I wouldn't say that is too thin. If you were aiming for a BMI of 19, it might be a little too much. Right around 22 is a great place to be.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    No, but I don't share my goal weight with anybody. I don't have an actual number goal weight anyway. In the beginning my goal was to get to a healthy weight and everything after that is based on how much jiggling goes on in certain places.

    All of this.

    I have gotten "you aren't trying to lose more are you" and I just smile and say "just working on fitness" or something vague. It's no one's business and most people are terrible at understanding what weights and heights together look like, especially given all the variation.
  • BurlzGettingFit
    BurlzGettingFit Posts: 115 Member
    Yes, I get people who tell me I'm too skinny now. Please. And it's usually the people who are overweight telling me I'm already thin or I'll be too thin when I hit my goal weight. I could care less, it makes me more motivated honestly.
  • kzooyogi
    kzooyogi Posts: 121 Member
    I'm 5'8" and maintaining at just under 140 (I usually bounce between 138-139). Get there and see how you feel. If you don't like it because YOU feel that you look too thin, then bulk up a little bit or add some muscle (what I'm working on now). If you feel that it's still not enough, go for more. Point being - get to a point where YOU are happy and comfortable, and most importantly, healthy!
  • LucasLean
    LucasLean Posts: 100 Member
    Yes, but if your BMI is in a good range and you feel and look good, then that particular weight should be fine. People thought my goal of 135 lbs. at 5'8 was too low, but it looks alright to me... which is my current pic. <--- Now it's time to gain muscle. I wouldn't worry about other people's opinions. Your goal weight is definitely not too light.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    Most of the people in my life now have never seen me at a healthy weight. I am 5'6" and down to 174 now after starting out at 256. My goal is 150, which is the top end of my BMI. I weighed about what I weigh now when I met most of the people in my life, so this is the thinnest I've ever been to them. When I explain I'm aiming for the top end of being barely "normal" and not "overweight" the feedback subsides, but I'm anticipating more opinions on my skinniness to come up over the next few months as I shed the rest of it.

    At the end of the day, if I was destined to be my current weight for the rest of my life, I could deal with it. I would really love live my life as a "normal" weight person, though.
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