My boss - Im torn
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What is Fit shaming for 5001
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Motorsheen wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »BedsideTableKangaroo wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »raleighgirl09 wrote: »I'm thinking she was likely making conversation on a personal level and thinking it was ok. If it wasn't then just say so. But I am wondering - were you actually indignant, slightly amused or somewhere in between? Sounded like a compliment from a thousand miles away... => Revel in your gorgeousness, they can't take that away.
I think her plan is to get me fat too, but that's a totally different issue.
do y'all often travel together for work? she might be worried of plane crashes in hard-to-reach, mountainous locations in winter.
Are you saying my boss wants to eat me?
could you blame her?
So what should I do?0 -
Wait you took offense to that comment and want to report her to hr for it?0
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omakase619 wrote: »Wait you took offense to that comment and want to report her to hr for it?
Yes.0 -
could it be about context. was she as your boss, making an inappropriate comment, or was it just as a friend making a comment regarding her personal opinion on muscle on women. I dunno...you were the only one of us there, so only you really know. Whats the gain for reporting her? whats the recourse if HR doesn't see it your way?
i'd view it as a compliment and move on with my day. but i'm pretty easy going.0 -
OMG this is the funniest - sad I missed it!1
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I'm wondering how you said you love your boss on one hand but want to report her on the other. If you guys have a friendly relationship like going to lunch etc. She probably thought she could comment. That's why bosses should stay bosses and not get friendly. I think hr is for serious offenses not something so stupid. People this day are way too sensitive. Move on! With so many out of work be glad you have a job.
You're hurting my feelings.1 -
Counting steps is a good start for some potato eating people but to really get in shape you have to hit the cardio and raise the heart rate and sweat some. Good job, keep those guns growing!0
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People are always gonna try to bring you down to there level... I think you look great and its your body god damn it! I would urge you to keep doing what pleases you1
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Show her this video as an option for 10k steps a day to "tone":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6TyLyng4nE
Oh and anything above 3lb weights is a no no or you'll get too bulky.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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My 2 cents, from HR's perspective - I've been in HR for years. DO NOT go to HR on this one. You'll only be told to "work it out with your supervisor". It's not blatant discrimination based on race, status, or any other protected class. What she said was very rude, yes, but it's not a company infraction based on the law. At least not if you're in the U.S. If you're outside of the U.S. - I can't assist with the laws, but as @Motorsheen said, it'll make you look weak.
Best thing to do in this situation is let it go. If she continues to make snide comments or remarks on your physical appearance you can tell her that she's making you feel uncomfortable and if she wants to keep doing it, you'll report her to HR. Usually that is enough to get people to back the hell off.
~M4 -
Sometimes we just have to learn to be adults and ignore ridiculous comments. I know. It's crazy but it just may be a good idea.4
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »raleighgirl09 wrote: »I'm thinking she was likely making conversation on a personal level and thinking it was ok. If it wasn't then just say so. But I am wondering - were you actually indignant, slightly amused or somewhere in between? Sounded like a compliment from a thousand miles away... => Revel in your gorgeousness, they can't take that away.
I actually love my boss. We go to lunch together etc. I think her plan is to get me fat too, but that's a totally different issue. She is just very ignorant when it comes to fitness and nutrition.
I am confused if you love your boss so much why would you consider going to HR for that comment? Although, I wasn't there to see the context or tone, but it seems more like her opinion. It could also be that she feels inadequate with the way she looks and feels and this is her way of dealing with it. She could want to the look the same way you do but doesn't know how to get there. Just keep doing what you're doing and maybe she will follow suit!!
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The only thing to do now is arm wrestle her into submission.1
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Get a copy of "cubicle warfare" and undermine the bejeepers out of her - it's a fine art (my favorite part is the bloodlust quotient assessment and how to cope and still make your mark if you're a nice person) and it will help you to get back at her without anyone ever suspecting that you're the one behind it. There are also some great tips on how to schmooze the higher ups, get a mentor, and desk / waste paper basket hygiene (hint - shred everything and leave red herrings).0
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<zerosarcasm> this thread is fantastic </zerosarcasm>2 -
vivelajackie wrote: »The only thing to do now is arm wrestle her into submission.
Now that is an awesome idea!!1 -
the amount of seriousness in some of the replies is actually really amusing.
Btw op, can i borrow that bicep for a day? I recently told my gym junkie boss that I was planning to start lifting here soon, and he hit me with the "No, dont do that, girls shouldnt be lifting, just go for a run. Bulky girls are not attractive". LOL *eyeroll*
On a different note, told my boyfriend (who is pretty jacked already with biceps the size of my head), that I wanted to start lifting and his response was "Thats awesome! Gosh, I hope you end up with bigger arms than me, that would be great!" Lol he was being totally honest too. Goof.1 -
You should let it roll! She is jealous and that is why she made you feel bad! Mean people exist kill them with kindness and don't be upset! Smile and say thanks for bringing that to my attention1
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the amount of seriousness in some of the replies is actually really amusing.
Btw op, can i borrow that bicep for a day? I recently told my gym junkie boss that I was planning to start lifting here soon, and he hit me with the "No, dont do that, girls shouldnt be lifting, just go for a run. Bulky girls are not attractive". LOL *eyeroll*
On a different note, told my boyfriend (who is pretty jacked already with biceps the size of my head), that I wanted to start lifting and his response was "Thats awesome! Gosh, I hope you end up with bigger arms than me, that would be great!" Lol he was being totally honest too. Goof.
Awe thank you. Yeah real man are not scared of muscular women0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »the amount of seriousness in some of the replies is actually really amusing.
Btw op, can i borrow that bicep for a day? I recently told my gym junkie boss that I was planning to start lifting here soon, and he hit me with the "No, dont do that, girls shouldnt be lifting, just go for a run. Bulky girls are not attractive". LOL *eyeroll*
On a different note, told my boyfriend (who is pretty jacked already with biceps the size of my head), that I wanted to start lifting and his response was "Thats awesome! Gosh, I hope you end up with bigger arms than me, that would be great!" Lol he was being totally honest too. Goof.
Awe thank you. Yeah real man are not scared of muscular women
My husband fist bumbs me when I have gainzzzzz. Then I go in the kitchen and put my muscles in good use and whip something good for dinner3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »I was wearing a short sleeve shirt today. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail.
My boss ( female in her 30s) says" Oh, you're way too muscular. I just want to tone, I think I will start doing 10k steps a day".
Now the question is do I go to HR for muscle discrimination or her using the word "tone"? I'm torn.
I thought I might give you a boss's perspective, I manage 4 teams of people and this is my perspective. Your boss should never have made a comment on your appearance. Full stop. Having said that, she could have said it somewhat flippantly without being aware of how it made you feel or intending to be critical. If she is generally fair and this was a once off, make an appointment with her and let her know that you work very hard on your fitness and you are proud of the way you look and her comment hurt you. She should immediately apologize and become more aware, if she doesn't she is not a good leader.0 -
andreatait4 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »I was wearing a short sleeve shirt today. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail.
My boss ( female in her 30s) says" Oh, you're way too muscular. I just want to tone, I think I will start doing 10k steps a day".
Now the question is do I go to HR for muscle discrimination or her using the word "tone"? I'm torn.
I thought I might give you a boss's perspective, I manage 4 teams of people and this is my perspective. Your boss should never have made a comment on your appearance. Full stop. Having said that, she could have said it somewhat flippantly without being aware of how it made you feel or intending to be critical. If she is generally fair and this was a once off, make an appointment with her and let her know that you work very hard on your fitness and you are proud of the way you look and her comment hurt you. She should immediately apologize and become more aware, if she doesn't she is not a good leader.
I manage a team of ten. I told them from the beginning, they have to join a gym or it's not be counted on their yearly review.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »I want to evaluate your levels now post a full length selfie!!
Yes sir. This is the bicep in question.
That's a nice bicep!0 -
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Women tend to be mean. So many remarks I hear from women. Even if they meant no harm. It's not easy. Don't let people's foolish rants put you down.0
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