Why don't fit semi buff guys like big girls?
Replies
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NOW... I KNOW I'm not the only girl who MUST be physically attracted to a man first before anything else.I don't understand these posts about "Why are men so shallow and superficial that they won't go out with bigger chicks?"
As a formerly very overweight chick myself, it was never a big mystery to me why I had trouble getting dates. It's really very simple: men are different than women. They must be physically attracted to a woman FIRST. Then, they will make the effort to get to know her. There's no changing that, and there's nothing wrong with it. Only when a man makes your physical appearance a condition of his "love" can you say that he is shallow and superficial.
I also agree that anyone who works really hard to get in shape and stay that way has the right to be attracted to people with similar lifestyles without being accused of being vain or shallow. I find that that's not usually about appearance either; it's about loving yourself and wanting to be around people who feel the same way.
Everyone is assuming so much about habits of boys & girls in this thread!
Some men don't HAVE to be attracted to women physically first.
Just like SOME women like to have physical attraction first (IE Me).
Although I do agree with your 2nd point I've highlighted here... Now that I'm healthy, I want to find someone with a similar lifestyle - mostly because I don't want to be sucked back into an unhealthy lifestyle. I think many tend to do that - even if someone has an "unhealthy" lifestyle, the last thing SOME of the "stuck-in-my-own-ways" people want is someone who will make them get up off of the couch. I see this with a lot of my friends.0 -
Fact remains everyone has some kind of type. My fiance would never be with anyone heavier than me, period. He doesn't like it, at the end of the day who wants a relationship without attraction. A personality only takes you so far. I say if the guys at the gym work that hard on themselves and want super thin women and can get them, well they should date who they are attracted to.
Besides doesn't your friend see so kind of irony that she wants them to like her physique when she likes them for theirs? If she has a right to like them for their appearance they have a right to dislike her for hers.0 -
Honestly this is kind of a silly question if you ask me.
Not all "fit semi buff guys" don't like bigger girls. My ex was exactly this. And since I left him, his new girlfriend is easily 400+ pounds. Also, I hooked up with a very muscular guy when I was about 50 pounds heavier than I am now.. he has no issue with big women. Personally I think it is all attributed to personal taste. I don't particularly have a "type".. my first boyfriend was short, skinny, not buff at all.. the guy I dated after that was fat & short, after that tall & fit.. it really for me has nothing to do with size. Sure, I'll drool over a nice body, but in all honesty would I have it in me to approach someone like that or truly be interested in them as a whole? Probably not. I know its cliche as all hell, but it truly isn't about the package a guy comes in. Men as a whole are very sensory driven - think about it, the sensation of going fast in a car, the sound of the roar of the engine, &seeing a woman's beautiful body trigger stronger things within a man than they do in a woman. A woman is stimulated more by emotion & feelings. That's just the way it is. And women look at an "ideal" man's body & likely their thoughts become sexual in nature. Doesnt mean she sees herself falling in love with him or even being with him at all. It's simply a hormonal reaction. But I guarantee 9x out of 10 if a gorgeous chiseled man presented himself as a true assho!e, and at the same time a heavier, not so "perfect" man presented himself as a gentleman, a woman would likely go for the less than perfect charmed than the study dbag. Same doesn't always go for men. Sometimes it does, I'm not going to generalize like that, but in many cases, men are more driven by what their senses tell them than by emotions or whatnot, and the first sensory information received is often what a girl looks like. I'm not saying that this is all that matters to a guy, because truly it isn't, but from my personal experience, men tend to have a physical "type" of woman that they are attracted to, where women have a personality "type". This is just my personal opinion on this topic, & everyone is entitled to their disagreements & agreements, but from my personal viewpoint, this is what I've seen.0 -
This is funny...ppl getting mad at skinny girls or jealous about who someone is with, etc etc. If you don't like how you look then fix yourself. Too many ppl on this website make excuses why the are overweight or why they can't lose weight. You can be with any guy or girl you want to, first of all you have to feel good about yourself. Too many ppl worrying about the wrong things or other ppl in life instead of focusing on your fitness goal. Confidence is the key, if you are confident about yourself you can do or get anyone you want. If ppl were in the body they desire this thread wouldn't be on here. No one is born with the perfect body, the perfect body is made by working out hard and eating right. A person that's fix will somewhat pick a person that is fix or semi fit, that's their lifestyle and they have that in common, and some ppl dont care, they like what they like. As a trainer I push ppl to have the body they want, some of them quit, and then complain about how they look. If you not willing to work hard for the body you want, don't blame other ppl or give reason why you are not at your desired weight or body frame. I know I pissed some ppl off with this comment, but the problem with this site is that ppl are not focusing on the right things, anyways good luck!
I agree as a woman with the body I don't want i am working of fixing it,and the body i do want isn't exactly "perfect" but its something i have achieved before and I am working on having it again
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To be fair to the OP it seems clear, well to me at least, she was talking about a general trend. I don't think she's asking or saying that ALL fit / semi buff guys reject bigger girls. That would be silly as there are clearly exceptions.
However, the exception does not make the rule. Will a guy who is in good shape generally prefer a women who is also in good shape to a women who is less so if their personalities are roughly equal.
Well, yeah...0 -
Preference, preference, preference. Because I am short I like tall, thin men but I always seem to end up with short, heavyset guys coming after me. So what's with that?0
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I like them all! skinny, thick, tall short.............women are beautiful!!!! what else would there be for a man in life if there were no women to chase around!???........................:bigsmile:0
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I like them all! skinny, thick, tall short.............women are beautiful!!!! what else would there be for a man in life if there were no women to chase around!???........................:bigsmile:
.....anything you can get eh? lol (sorry I had to) :laugh:0 -
It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself and DRESSING yourself has so much to do with it. If you're confident in your looks and abilities, you can have nearly any man.
At my heaviest, I NEVER had a problem getting a date. Ever. And most of my boyfriends have been smaller than me. It wasn't until my current man friend that I've had a significant other that's larger than me. My "smallest" boyfriend was 5'7 and 140 while I was 5'8 and 205.0 -
its personal preference I have seen very buff guys go after thicker girls....0
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I think some do and some do not. Maybe demonstrate how "fit" you are and they will see that. Good luck to you.0
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It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself and DRESSING yourself has so much to do with it. If you're confident in your looks and abilities, you can have nearly any man.
At my heaviest, I NEVER had a problem getting a date. Ever. And most of my boyfriends have been smaller than me. It wasn't until my current man friend that I've had a significant other that's larger than me. My "smallest" boyfriend was 5'7 and 140 while I was 5'8 and 205.
Attitude... that is correct.0 -
It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself and DRESSING yourself has so much to do with it. If you're confident in your looks and abilities, you can have nearly any man.
At my heaviest, I NEVER had a problem getting a date. Ever. And most of my boyfriends have been smaller than me. It wasn't until my current man friend that I've had a significant other that's larger than me. My "smallest" boyfriend was 5'7 and 140 while I was 5'8 and 205.
Attitude... that is correct.0 -
http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg
Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.
But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?
Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.
Daaaang, that #4 chick is lucky. LOL
I want to be a 5-11 hybrid!
On the subject though, some guys are just jerks.
In highschool i dated a guy who was 6'1 & 119 lbs [yah i know, stick figure status] and I was 5'1 145-150 lbs. I totally felt fine, pretty whatever.
Then after we broke up, i dated this other dood, and his life style made me feel like i was fat, gross whatever, so i lost weight.
Well, after getting down to 123 lbs, i STILL felt fat, gross, whatever. Why? BECAUSE HE WAS AN *kitten*.
lol /end rant
The guys who think that kind of stuff, aren't even worth it to you, so why even be mad?0 -
It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself and DRESSING yourself has so much to do with it. If you're confident in your looks and abilities, you can have nearly any man.
At my heaviest, I NEVER had a problem getting a date. Ever. And most of my boyfriends have been smaller than me. It wasn't until my current man friend that I've had a significant other that's larger than me. My "smallest" boyfriend was 5'7 and 140 while I was 5'8 and 205.
Exactly! That's the attitude you need. There are a good amount of fit, attractive guys out there that will give anyone the chance as long as they're sure of themselves.
I met my last boyfriend at the gym. I was (still am, lol) slightly overweight and he was training for a body building competition. I approached him and we ended up dating later. A little confidence can certainly make up for a less than perfect body!0 -
NOW... I KNOW I'm not the only girl who MUST be physically attracted to a man first before anything else.I don't understand these posts about "Why are men so shallow and superficial that they won't go out with bigger chicks?"
As a formerly very overweight chick myself, it was never a big mystery to me why I had trouble getting dates. It's really very simple: men are different than women. They must be physically attracted to a woman FIRST. Then, they will make the effort to get to know her. There's no changing that, and there's nothing wrong with it. Only when a man makes your physical appearance a condition of his "love" can you say that he is shallow and superficial.
I also agree that anyone who works really hard to get in shape and stay that way has the right to be attracted to people with similar lifestyles without being accused of being vain or shallow. I find that that's not usually about appearance either; it's about loving yourself and wanting to be around people who feel the same way.
Everyone is assuming so much about habits of boys & girls in this thread!
Some men don't HAVE to be attracted to women physically first.
Just like SOME women like to have physical attraction first (IE Me).
Although I do agree with your 2nd point I've highlighted here... Now that I'm healthy, I want to find someone with a similar lifestyle - mostly because I don't want to be sucked back into an unhealthy lifestyle. I think many tend to do that - even if someone has an "unhealthy" lifestyle, the last thing SOME of the "stuck-in-my-own-ways" people want is someone who will make them get up off of the couch. I see this with a lot of my friends.
There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.0 -
There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.
I have seen a number of your posts and I feel now compelled to ask you this....
How the hell did you get your hands on the secret male operating systems manual and can you please return it to the nearest man at your earliest available opportunity? We don't need our secrets being divulged willy nilly on an internet forum.
Thank you.0 -
There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.
I have seen a number of your posts and I feel now compelled to ask you this....
How the hell did you get your hands on the secret male operating systems manual and can you please return it to the nearest man at your earliest available opportunity? We don't need our secrets being divulged willy nilly on an internet forum.
Thank you.
lol!0 -
Do you like the type of men who are at your same level of fitness? If you don't, then that answers the question.
Myself I don't really care if the man is fit, buff, skinny, fat, as long as they're not slobs. My husband was/is in good shape and my whole fitness journey has been to better myself. The question was asked, because of an instance which happened to a good friend of mine. I figured the guy was just being a jerk. :grumble:0 -
Preference is preference. Really I don't think there is a right or wrong.0
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When it comes to this question, I can sum it up in one statement....
"It's all about the presentation..."
I have dated women of all sizes when I was at my best and worst (now) . To me what you look like is only 40% of the presentation package. The remaining 60% is how you dress, your personality, how carry yourself and if you have the confidence to back it all up. Real beauty and attraction comes from within, not the other way around.
Just look at in reverse, how is it that you see some gorgeous women with some not very attractive men and think what does she see in him?0 -
There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.
I have seen a number of your posts and I feel now compelled to ask you this....
How the hell did you get your hands on the secret male operating systems manual and can you please return it to the nearest man at your earliest available opportunity? We don't need our secrets being divulged willy nilly on an internet forum.
Thank you.
Ha! Oh, how I wish there were such a manual ...
Seriously though, men are not that hard to figure out. It's just that women assume that men over-think and over-analyze everything just as much as we do, so we spend our entire lives asking our girlfriends "What did he mean when he said that?" or "Why did he text me back with just 'Hi' instead of 'Hey baby' like he usually does? Is he mad at me? Because I didn't do anything wrong. Whatever, he's sleeping on the couch tonight. I've had it."
I just think we'd all be a lot happier if we could get a couple of rules through our heads:
1. Whatever he said, it's unlikely that his intent was to piss you off.
2. He definitely did not put nearly as much thought into writing that text as you have put into reading it.0 -
It's a matter of preference, and completely subjective. You're just as likely to ask a person why they like blondes, or brunettes, or redheads, etc.
Some people are jerks, and I don't think it matters what kind of package they come in, buff or not.0 -
personaly i like thick girls but that me unlike most of my friends but hey to each his own..0
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I like them all! skinny, thick, tall short.............women are beautiful!!!! what else would there be for a man in life if there were no women to chase around!???........................:bigsmile:
.....anything you can get eh? lol (sorry I had to) :laugh:
I likw hot nurses :bigsmile:0 -
dude we aaaaaallll like hot nurses! :bigsmile:0
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http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg
Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.
But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?
Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.
aww dang is that what average looks like 0_o ughhhhhhhhhhhh i guess i gotta get back to working out!0 -
I was thinking the exact same thing!http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg
Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.
But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?
Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.
aww dang is that what average looks like 0_o ughhhhhhhhhhhh i guess i gotta get back to working out!0 -
NOW... I KNOW I'm not the only girl who MUST be physically attracted to a man first before anything else.I don't understand these posts about "Why are men so shallow and superficial that they won't go out with bigger chicks?"
As a formerly very overweight chick myself, it was never a big mystery to me why I had trouble getting dates. It's really very simple: men are different than women. They must be physically attracted to a woman FIRST. Then, they will make the effort to get to know her. There's no changing that, and there's nothing wrong with it. Only when a man makes your physical appearance a condition of his "love" can you say that he is shallow and superficial.
I also agree that anyone who works really hard to get in shape and stay that way has the right to be attracted to people with similar lifestyles without being accused of being vain or shallow. I find that that's not usually about appearance either; it's about loving yourself and wanting to be around people who feel the same way.
Everyone is assuming so much about habits of boys & girls in this thread!
Some men don't HAVE to be attracted to women physically first.
Just like SOME women like to have physical attraction first (IE Me).
Although I do agree with your 2nd point I've highlighted here... Now that I'm healthy, I want to find someone with a similar lifestyle - mostly because I don't want to be sucked back into an unhealthy lifestyle. I think many tend to do that - even if someone has an "unhealthy" lifestyle, the last thing SOME of the "stuck-in-my-own-ways" people want is someone who will make them get up off of the couch. I see this with a lot of my friends.
There are very, very few men who don't need physical attraction first. Everything is a generalization on some level, but there aren't enough exceptions to that rule to say you shouldn't assume it about men in general. It's just how they are wired. A man may meet a woman at work or school or wherever, get to know her on a professional or personal level, and become more attracted to her than he was initially. But in social situations, it's basically unheard of for a man to approach, with romantic intent, a woman he isn't physically attracted to, thinking she might have a really awesome personality to make up for her deficiencies in the looks department.
You must be meeting different men than me. I've met a lot of open men, and sure they're not ALL like that - my point is that NOT ALL MEN need physical attraction first. It's wrong to lump them all together, which is what the poster I quoted seemed to be doing.0 -
I was thinking the exact same thing!http://i54.tinypic.com/iwivbn.jpg
Check the link. I like body types 12, 13, and 11. Mostly 12.
But any bigger than that and it feels like no matter what your genetics, if you don't care about yourself enough to have the self discipline to stay somewhat in shape, why should we care?
Body size/type is only part of it too. Gotta have the personality to match it.
aww dang is that what average looks like 0_o ughhhhhhhhhhhh i guess i gotta get back to working out!
That's because that's definitely not average. She's entirely too skinny to be average.
There's really no such thing as average because body type plays a HUGE role in what the average is for each individual type.
A "pear" shaped person's average may differ from an "apple" or an "hourglass."0
This discussion has been closed.
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