Does your SO know your weight?
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MizMimi111 wrote: »My boyfriend knows and he's the one putting me on a diet. I'm pretty much fine with my weight and body, but he keeps calling me fat.
I know why most have trouble with this statement, but jumping right to telling them the dump them is a bit extreme. They could be comfortable in their body, but obese and their loved one wants them to be more healthy. We don't know the full story. Also-some people enter controlling relationships willingly, not anyone's place to judge.
There is a difference between entering into a mutually consenting controlling relationship and having your SO call you fat and put you on a diet.
Again, only part of the story.
There are 24/7 total power exchange relationships that people do enter into willingly. Personally not my roast of coffee, but if that's what others choose to do, far be it for me to judge.
If I gained weight, my SO would say something, as I would if he gained weight. We would both probably offer up suggestions to get back on track, too, which I guess could come off as controlling to others, but it's something that we are aligned on as far as personal goals. We both know what our goals are and where we both stand in terms of reaching them.0 -
When I was 295 I would not tell him and we were together 7 years when i decided to start my journey I told him and update him at every weigh in now b/c i just love how far i've come2
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No. Absolutely not. I know it's my issue and not his. However, the number means something to him, to me, it's how I feel and look. I'm heavier than I look.0
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We know each other's weight roughly...it's not a big secret, and the number really doesn't matter...I mean we see each other naked every day, so there's really not much to hide. We're both working off some winter fluff at the moment and, like this morning, my wife commented that I'm looking leaner...yesterday when we were playing in the yard with the kids I commented to my wife that she's looking good...her arms are really starting to pop...but the number is fairly irrelevant. In maintenance we're both fairly lean and tend towards the upper end of BMI...I'm about 5 Lbs over, but I'm going to try to cut to 175 this year which should be a good solid 4 pack territory.3
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My husband knows my weight and my goals. Like others have said, he sees me naked...
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Interesting insight. Yeah my boyfriend has shared with me his weight through our relationship, mostly because he gained like 20 lb the first 6 months of our relationship. He said he's the highest weight he's ever been, though he's on the high end of the normal weight for his height. He looks great though. Lol his doctor had asked why the gain and he said he has a girlfriend now lol.
Nice to see supportive SO, or oblivious ones. Haha.1 -
I just asked my husband if he knows how much I weigh. He gave me a very confused look and said 'roughly?'
LOL6 -
Yes! Especially now after I told him I weigh less than him now. #humblebrag5
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Maybe? I'm not like actively keeping it from him, but I'm not necessarily shouting it across the house, either. I don't care, really. He's seen me naked and likes me just fine.
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It very well could be a healthy relationship.armchairherpetologist wrote: »MizMimi111 wrote: »My boyfriend knows and he's the one putting me on a diet. I'm pretty much fine with my weight and body, but he keeps calling me fat.
I know why most have trouble with this statement, but jumping right to telling them the dump them is a bit extreme. They could be comfortable in their body, but obese and their loved one wants them to be more healthy. We don't know the full story. Also-some people enter controlling relationships willingly, not anyone's place to judge.
There is a difference between entering into a mutually consenting controlling relationship and having your SO call you fat and put you on a diet.
Again, only part of the story.
There are 24/7 total power exchange relationships that people do enter into willingly. Personally not my roast of coffee, but if that's what others choose to do, far be it for me to judge.
If I gained weight, my SO would say something, as I would if he gained weight. We would both probably offer up suggestions to get back on track, too, which I guess could come off as controlling to others, but it's something that we are aligned on as far as personal goals. We both know what our goals are and where we both stand in terms of reaching them.
Yep, like me.0 -
Nope, DH doesn't know and doesn't care. He loves me as I am, whatever weight that may be.1
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It very well could be a healthy relationship.armchairherpetologist wrote: »MizMimi111 wrote: »My boyfriend knows and he's the one putting me on a diet. I'm pretty much fine with my weight and body, but he keeps calling me fat.
I know why most have trouble with this statement, but jumping right to telling them the dump them is a bit extreme. They could be comfortable in their body, but obese and their loved one wants them to be more healthy. We don't know the full story. Also-some people enter controlling relationships willingly, not anyone's place to judge.
There is a difference between entering into a mutually consenting controlling relationship and having your SO call you fat and put you on a diet.
Again, only part of the story.
There are 24/7 total power exchange relationships that people do enter into willingly. Personally not my roast of coffee, but if that's what others choose to do, far be it for me to judge.
If I gained weight, my SO would say something, as I would if he gained weight. We would both probably offer up suggestions to get back on track, too, which I guess could come off as controlling to others, but it's something that we are aligned on as far as personal goals. We both know what our goals are and where we both stand in terms of reaching them.
Yep, like me.
I guess for me saying "my husband is concerned about my weight and health so he is supporting me and helping implement changes in our house and lives that will better us." No one can "put you on a diet" not even a doctor. It is a personal choice and only you can do the work. I just personally don't feel like doing it because someone else wants you to or "put you on it" is really the way. But that's just my opinion.
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I'm not sure if she knows my exact weight - probably not. But she knows what weight class I compete in, and that I don't get too far above the cutoff. So she knows more or less what I weigh.0
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No he doesn't. I don't even know my exact weight in kilos or pounds though. So...0
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It very well could be a healthy relationship.armchairherpetologist wrote: »MizMimi111 wrote: »My boyfriend knows and he's the one putting me on a diet. I'm pretty much fine with my weight and body, but he keeps calling me fat.
I know why most have trouble with this statement, but jumping right to telling them the dump them is a bit extreme. They could be comfortable in their body, but obese and their loved one wants them to be more healthy. We don't know the full story. Also-some people enter controlling relationships willingly, not anyone's place to judge.
There is a difference between entering into a mutually consenting controlling relationship and having your SO call you fat and put you on a diet.
Again, only part of the story.
There are 24/7 total power exchange relationships that people do enter into willingly. Personally not my roast of coffee, but if that's what others choose to do, far be it for me to judge.
If I gained weight, my SO would say something, as I would if he gained weight. We would both probably offer up suggestions to get back on track, too, which I guess could come off as controlling to others, but it's something that we are aligned on as far as personal goals. We both know what our goals are and where we both stand in terms of reaching them.
Yep, like me.
And not to mention she said she's fine with herself and he calls her fat. Super nice and healthy.2 -
Yes, we're both health focused and weigh in together every Sunday.0
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It very well could be a healthy relationship.armchairherpetologist wrote: »MizMimi111 wrote: »My boyfriend knows and he's the one putting me on a diet. I'm pretty much fine with my weight and body, but he keeps calling me fat.
I know why most have trouble with this statement, but jumping right to telling them the dump them is a bit extreme. They could be comfortable in their body, but obese and their loved one wants them to be more healthy. We don't know the full story. Also-some people enter controlling relationships willingly, not anyone's place to judge.
There is a difference between entering into a mutually consenting controlling relationship and having your SO call you fat and put you on a diet.
Again, only part of the story.
There are 24/7 total power exchange relationships that people do enter into willingly. Personally not my roast of coffee, but if that's what others choose to do, far be it for me to judge.
If I gained weight, my SO would say something, as I would if he gained weight. We would both probably offer up suggestions to get back on track, too, which I guess could come off as controlling to others, but it's something that we are aligned on as far as personal goals. We both know what our goals are and where we both stand in terms of reaching them.
Yep, like me.
And not to mention she said she's fine with herself and he calls her fat. Super nice and healthy.
So much this. That has nothing to do with power struggles or whatever.1 -
Married 20 years..we know each others weight, goals, see each other naked, actually not much we don't know about each other really..0
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Yes he did when I was heavier than him (most of our 16yr relationship) and he does now, drive him mad announcing every loss, lol!0
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I was finishing my food log this morning for last night and looking for an item I asked my bf about. I went to complete the log and got the little page that says "if you ate like this the next x weeks you would weigh ..." And he saw the number. I've never shared my weight with a SO and it's probably because I'm insecure about it. He said it didn't matter and told me his weight which is lower than mine.
Anyway, does your SO know your number?
Mine knows mine approximately - he doesn't pay enough attention to know the precise # lol. I know his approximately as well.
At the moment I am a healthy weight and he is overweight. Over our history of 20+ years, it was not always so. I remember a time when I could not wear his sweat pants because they were too small for me.
Weight is not a taboo topic in our house. Neither is age which is another topic some women would rather not discuss, or so I've heard.
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He didn't when I was in the 300's (to the best of my knowledge). I think I finally started telling him when I was close to 200. He certainly knows I've been stuck at 165 for a while. He loved me at every size, to his credit. Smart man.2
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Oh yeah, I was complaining about it the other day because I have gained some without realizing it. I told him for acountability. I need to be embarrassed for me to do something about it. He is always supportive but now he knows how I feel about me weighing as much as I do and he is supporting me so much. We have been together for 14 years so I'm not concerned with him knowing it.
I text him as soon as I found out at the Dr office the number, I was so embarrassed and just was feeling crummy. He just told me he loves me at any weight but will help me reach my goal of where I want to be.0 -
When I was overweight-no way. Now I don't care who knows my weight. And I am a little over weight at the moment. But I look decent and I'm athletic so I just don't care.0
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My first serious boyfriend kept poking fun at my weight and treating me like crap ('I like women smaller than that' pokes my belly. 'I don't feel attracted to you physically' 'my last girlfriend was skinny' 'I can't show you off to my friends') because I had gained 5-10 pounds over the 2.5 years we were together. I never mentioned how he had let himself go in that time too. These comments started about a month before I broke up with him. That is one of the reasons he is an ex.
For the record, I'm currently ten pounds lower than I was when we started dating but two clothing sizes bigger. I doubt he even knew just how much I weighed because I didn't even know.
Moving on.
I have no problem sharing goals with my future partner as long as they respect me and my body. This body has done amazing things and it's part of me and I lived with it big and love it smaller too. I am all parts of me and hope to find someone who will love me for everything not just the bit they see now.2 -
I have told my husband but his memory is odd at the best of times- he recently told some woman who asked him at work about my weight loss that I weigh 120lbs...he forgot the whole "plus 10"
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Yes. It's just number. And we are the same height so we generally weigh close to the same, except when I was pregnant and then I was 30lbs more.0
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Eh. The number on the scale doesn't change how I look and people are really bad at guessing.
My boyfriend knows mine and I know his because we just started a cut and we talk about that sort of stuff.0 -
Nope. I'm highly embarrassed about it so I don't tell. I just let him know how much it fluctuates when I weigh myself. He also doubles as my trainer/motivator.0
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