Dating while overweight??

2

Replies

  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 701 Member
    1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?

    I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).
    2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
    I never thought I didn't look good while dating, at least to the person I was dating. I only dated people I already knew, so if they were dating me, they already knew me and liked me. So I always felt I good about myself by default. I found any insecurity I have about myself is wholly internal and unrelated to my weight.


  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 941 Member
    edited May 2017
    When I started dating my husband, I was probably a size 12 (not extremely large, but I was a size 12 at 5'3). He was a 6'3 fraternity guy who happened to prefer short, thicker girls.

    I'm a size 4 (20 years later). He doesn't mind the smaller size, but certainly wouldn't mind a larger size either. That makes me happy to know.
  • jsjentz
    jsjentz Posts: 13 Member
    Oh and PS -- You should totally date regardless of size. If they're going to miss an opportunity to get to know you because of your size then it's their loss! Good luck! xoxo :)
  • ParadigmShifter
    ParadigmShifter Posts: 289 Member
    edited May 2017
    1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?

    I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).
    2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
    I never thought I didn't look good while dating, at least to the person I was dating. I only dated people I already knew, so if they were dating me, they already knew me and liked me. So I always felt I good about myself by default. I found any insecurity I have about myself is wholly internal and unrelated to my weight.


    Looks are important, especially in the very beginning. Physical attraction is important. Without that, you might as well be friends.

    With that said, there's many people/guys that like the overweight look and there are guys that don't. For some is a deal breaker, for some is not. It does not make them shallow or bad. Everyone has a preference.

    With that said, weight/ looks is just one of the components. You shouldn't not do things because of it. Go and have fun. You're only in your 20s once.

    This. You have to own you and everything about you. Love yourself. Don't hide it. The worse thing you can do is try to look skinny by taking selfies that make you look 50lbs (or more) lighter than you are. There is nothing wrong with taking good selfies but if you give off the impression that you are 120lbs and you are really 220lbs, that's deception. You will attract the "wrong" type of guys and things will be awkward. Some guys might even think "she's definitely not my type but I'm horny so I'm going to try and get laid" when they meet you. The last you want to do is end up sleeping with someone who wasn't even into you from the beginning but pretended to be just to get a piece.

    It's the same as if you only wanted to date guys who were a certain height and you find out the guy is like 6" shorter than what he said he was.

    Overall, deception is a lose-lose for everyone.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?

    I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).
    2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
    I never thought I didn't look good while dating, at least to the person I was dating. I only dated people I already knew, so if they were dating me, they already knew me and liked me. So I always felt I good about myself by default. I found any insecurity I have about myself is wholly internal and unrelated to my weight.


    Looks are important, especially in the very beginning. Physical attraction is important. Without that, you might as well be friends.

    With that said, there's many people/guys that like the overweight look and there are guys that don't. For some is a deal breaker, for some is not. It does not make them shallow or bad. Everyone has a preference.

    With that said, weight/ looks is just one of the components. You shouldn't not do things because of it. Go and have fun. You're only in your 20s once.

    This. You have to own you and everything about you. Love yourself. Don't hide it. The worse thing you can do is try to look skinny by taking selfies that make you look 50lbs (or more) lighter than you are. There is nothing wrong with taking good selfies but if you give off the impression that you are 120lbs and you are really 220lbs, that's deception. You will attract the "wrong" type of guys and things will be awkward. Some guys might even think "she's definitely not my type but I'm horny so I'm going to try and get laid" when they meet you. The last you want to do is end up sleeping with someone who wasn't even into you from the beginning but pretended to be just to get a piece.

    It's the same as if you only wanted to date guys who were a certain height and you find out the guy is like 6" shorter than what he said he was.

    Overall, deception is a lose-lose for everyone.

    He's got a good point. In online dating I would imagine pictures are very important. If it was me, I would never mention being overweight on my profile or conversation. I would just post many good pictures that show your body. Tasteful pictures but easy for people to see if you are overweight and let them be the judge of they are attracted to it or not.
    Rock your body, small, big, tall, short!!!
    It's the only one you got and only the deserving ones get to "enjoy it".
    Confidence is way more sexier than anything​else
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    Enjoy your date
  • Niki_Fitz
    Niki_Fitz Posts: 943 Member
    I was 20 lbs heavier when I met my husband. I was doing some online dating at that time too. It was very hard! I knew I had to feel uncomfortable and do it anyway. You are aware of your feelings so great job on Step 1. Step 2 is the practice of telling yourself you're an awesome, worthwhile person no matter what - and walking out the door ready to rock your date!
  • tracer1808
    tracer1808 Posts: 10 Member
    I was 60 lbs heavier when I first dated my wife. Now, after 2 kids she got pretty heavier and I got much more in shape, but we still get along just fine :D
  • lolakinks
    lolakinks Posts: 269 Member
    I had lots of date, through online dating while I'm obese (I'm still on the border obese-overweight). I had dates with lots of cute, handsome, smart and even so much muscular or skinny guys. No need to be insecure, being confident is hot :)
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 974 Member
    Im 23 and don't like to date because of my size, guys tend not to care but i do. Im very insecure
    I like these responses though
  • nFoooo
    nFoooo Posts: 136 Member
    edited May 2017
    Anyone who feels the need to comment about your looks during a date (or at any time) is a garbage human being.

    Well I agree about commenting but having a preference for non-fat people is fine.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
    nFoooo wrote: »
    Anyone who feels the need to comment about your looks during a date (or at any time) is a garbage human being.

    Well I agree about commenting but having a preference for non-fat people is fine.

    That goes without saying (or should).
  • arcornell09
    arcornell09 Posts: 41 Member
    I feel incredibly insecure right now so right now it's all about confidence, I know it'll come back with time and I hope when i'm ready I'm able to meet the right one.
  • LilMissEtta
    LilMissEtta Posts: 14 Member
    i don't talk to men, im very obese, so no dating for me :(
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,589 Member
    I dated and married my husband while "overweight". I gained even more in the first year. It was my decision to lose weight, and I did and do it for myself. He loves me at every weight. You have to love yourself and do what makes you happy. Find someone who will like and love you for YOU, not your weight.
  • Aarjono
    Aarjono Posts: 228 Member
    Since I've gained weight, men don't seem to see me as dating material. It could also be that I'm old...er.