My best friend doesnt believe in CICO
Replies
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and watch out for gym trainers who say "walking out side wont do you as good as being in the gym" they most like want to sell you trainer sessions = $$$$$
Yeah I had a trainer tell me to stop doing exercise dvds because they don't work. After I told him I lost 70 lbs doing dvds everyday before joining a gym.
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laurenebargar wrote: »yes thanks everyone! I agree, I am not the type or person who will sit there arguing until im blue in the face, I just said okay and enjoyed the ice cream! The whole thing just seemed so odd to me. She has always been skinny, she can eat whatever she wants and doesn't normally exercise, we lived together for awhile and worked together so I know she wasn't working out or eating well. But its just strange she was so against CICO
Maybe if she's so used to being able to eat whatever she wants and stay thin, the thought of needing to count calories (If she ever needed to) upsets her. Certain members of my family shun calorie counting and call me obsessive because they don't like the prospect of ever having to count calories and would prefer to ignore them altogether.5 -
CICO isn't a "belief" issue, it's not Bigfoot.
That being said, letting people know what you're doing does open up the opportunity for them to spread all that crazy woo stuff they believe because of the way it's portrayed on the internet. #fakenews3 -
laurenebargar wrote: »yes thanks everyone! I agree, I am not the type or person who will sit there arguing until im blue in the face, I just said okay and enjoyed the ice cream! The whole thing just seemed so odd to me. She has always been skinny, she can eat whatever she wants and doesn't normally exercise, we lived together for awhile and worked together so I know she wasn't working out or eating well. But its just strange she was so against CICO
Honestly, it doesn't surprise me one bit. The general public is very, very poorly educated about nutrition and most people's "knowledge" comes from silly magazine articles, woo websites and quack "doctors" with books and diet plans to sell, rather than evidence-based sources.
Just tell her "You're entitled to your own opinions, but you're not entitled to your own facts" and leave it at that. In many cases you'd have better luck arguing with a lamppost.10 -
laurenebargar wrote: »yes thanks everyone! I agree, I am not the type or person who will sit there arguing until im blue in the face, I just said okay and enjoyed the ice cream! The whole thing just seemed so odd to me. She has always been skinny, she can eat whatever she wants and doesn't normally exercise, we lived together for awhile and worked together so I know she wasn't working out or eating well. But its just strange she was so against CICO
Maybe if she's so used to being able to eat whatever she wants and stay thin, the thought of needing to count calories (If she ever needed to) upsets her. Certain members of my family shun calorie counting and call me obsessive because they don't like the prospect of ever having to count calories and would prefer to ignore them altogether.
But again, CICO doesn't mean calorie counting. Calorie counting is a tool used to help ensure a calorie deficit is in place, so that your CI<CO for weight loss. But whether you count calories or not, if you are losing, maintaining, or gaining... CICO still applies.7 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »Everyone is entitled to their opinion, if she feels strongly (even if she is wrong) just leave it there, if she makes comments about what you're eating, tell her you don't want to discuss it with her, you're doing what works for you. You know it works and that's all that matters.
Yeah but you don't get to have an opinion about a science fact.
Also OP, I like how she went from hearing about it for the first time to telling you that you are "getting obsessed." Projecting much?
I agree! I havent even brought it up before and she thinks im "obsessed"2 -
I just laugh at the idea that people assume that frozen yogurt is healthier than ice cream.
I agree, however the ice cream place we go to is in a small town, its either plain vanilla frozen yogurt or ice cream such as "piece of cake" in this case the frozen yogurt just typically had less calories lol0 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »Silentpadna wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »So the title says it all. My best friend doesn't believe in CICO. I only told them recently that I started losing weight ( I told them once I was 15 lbs down) we went for a hike the other day, and then were walking back to their house, we stopped for ice cream. I had a ton of calories left so I got a flavor I actually wanted rather than just frozen yogurt. She was shocked and told me i'd never lose weight if im eating ice cream, and that our hike didnt count as exercise because we weren't in a gym (we burned over 1000 calories according to my fitbit!) I explained to her what MFP is all about it, and CICO and she said I was "getting obsessive" with calories I need to stop focusing on that, and eat only healthy foods and go to the gym for an hour every day, dont pay attention to calories. Im shocked that she would have such a strong opinion on it, shes a science major so I assumed something simple like CICO would make sense to her, you need to burn more calories than your body is taking in. Finally I explained I could eat one scoop of ice cream every day, even if thats all I ate, and I was in calorie deficit I would lose weight, she simply just said no you would gain weight and be terribly unhealthy. I agree you wouldnt be healthy, but you would still lose weight. That was it, she said after she didnt want to talk about it anymore. What do you guys think? I know CICO works, its been working for me, and so many other people on MFP. Why do people think CICO wont work??
Two things i recommend:
1) Ask her if she were wrong, how would she know? (She's a science major; she should be able to answer that question easily).
2) Prove it to her.
3) Get a new best friend.
Haha I honeslty agree, I moved awhile ago and got married and shes been distant ever since, now with this its just a little much. lol2 -
What bothers me about your post is how you're excited finding mfp and calorie counting works and your friend is completely unsupportive. I mean she can't even hear you out? Is she the kind of person that has to be "right" about everything all the time?
Edited to say that the "getting obsessive" comment was really rude and uncalled for. I would have wanted to slap the *kitten*.
Yes she is the type of person who always has to be right, probably shouldnt have brought it up at all to her.1 -
jenniferinfl wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »So the title says it all. My best friend doesn't believe in CICO. I only told them recently that I started losing weight ( I told them once I was 15 lbs down) we went for a hike the other day, and then were walking back to their house, we stopped for ice cream. I had a ton of calories left so I got a flavor I actually wanted rather than just frozen yogurt. She was shocked and told me i'd never lose weight if im eating ice cream, and that our hike didnt count as exercise because we weren't in a gym (we burned over 1000 calories according to my fitbit!) I explained to her what MFP is all about it, and CICO and she said I was "getting obsessive" with calories I need to stop focusing on that, and eat only healthy foods and go to the gym for an hour every day, dont pay attention to calories. Im shocked that she would have such a strong opinion on it, shes a science major so I assumed something simple like CICO would make sense to her, you need to burn more calories than your body is taking in. Finally I explained I could eat one scoop of ice cream every day, even if thats all I ate, and I was in calorie deficit I would lose weight, she simply just said no you would gain weight and be terribly unhealthy. I agree you wouldnt be healthy, but you would still lose weight. That was it, she said after she didnt want to talk about it anymore. What do you guys think? I know CICO works, its been working for me, and so many other people on MFP. Why do people think CICO wont work??
People intentionally misunderstand for the purpose of arguing and feeling superior.
Is she smaller than you or was she the same size as you before you started losing weight? When I lost the weight years ago, I lost most of my friends. For many of them, I was that fat friend they hauled around to make themselves look better by contrast, when I lost the weight, I no longer fit into the role they had for me. I lost the friends who were the same size as me as they were angry that I was making progress and they just weren't ready to do that at the time.
People really don't like to see people they know being successful. Even people who are your friends really don't want to see your life improve unless their life is currently improving. It's just human nature. My thin friends tried to sabotage me every step of the way; they were furious when I had finally lost enough weight to date in the same circles and then they tried to trash my reputation. It can be impossible to keep some friends when the relationship roles change.
It's easier to give them some space now and make some new friends. You can probably be friends with her again at some point, but, right now she is hoping to sabotage. A science major knows better. Though, realistically, she probably doesn't even realize that's what she's doing. She's patting herself on the back for the helpful advice she's given.. lol
People pretty much just suck.
Shes always been thinner than me, and I think thats true, I just moved so ive been hoping to make new friends as it is!0 -
The fact that she's a science major doesn't mean she's necessarily comfortable with math. If you told me a physics major disagreed with CICO, I'd be surprised - but a lot of students in the life sciences are actually very uncomfortable with math and numbers. "I love science but hate math; I will study biology/kinesiology/nutrition/etc." is a pretty common theme.
Disclaimer: My sister has both a biology degree and a math degree. I'm not saying that all biology students hate math. But a lot of them do. My sample size is several thousand students.2 -
I would just tell her that I don't need her advice, and then let results speak for themselves. She can believe whatever she wants to believe and it won't affect your results.
I do feel like in most cases, though, it's rude to offer criticisms of what other people are eating. If you didn't ask her for help, why is she picking apart your diet?2 -
I would just tell her that I don't need her advice, and then let results speak for themselves. She can believe whatever she wants to believe and it won't affect your results.
I do feel like in most cases, though, it's rude to offer criticisms of what other people are eating. If you didn't ask her for help, why is she picking apart your diet?
Yeah thats what I was feeling too honestly, I wasnt saying "oh I shouldnt be having ice cream im on a diet" I didnt say anything about calories, I just ordered what I wanted, and she started going on about this. I guess ive never really spoken with anyone yet about CICO and MFP, maybe this is how other people would react too.1 -
For some people, the idea that weight loss could be simple is too much. If its simple, a function of CICO, then they lose all their excuses as to why they can't/won't do it.3
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laurenebargar wrote: »jenniferinfl wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »So the title says it all. My best friend doesn't believe in CICO. I only told them recently that I started losing weight ( I told them once I was 15 lbs down) we went for a hike the other day, and then were walking back to their house, we stopped for ice cream. I had a ton of calories left so I got a flavor I actually wanted rather than just frozen yogurt. She was shocked and told me i'd never lose weight if im eating ice cream, and that our hike didnt count as exercise because we weren't in a gym (we burned over 1000 calories according to my fitbit!) I explained to her what MFP is all about it, and CICO and she said I was "getting obsessive" with calories I need to stop focusing on that, and eat only healthy foods and go to the gym for an hour every day, dont pay attention to calories. Im shocked that she would have such a strong opinion on it, shes a science major so I assumed something simple like CICO would make sense to her, you need to burn more calories than your body is taking in. Finally I explained I could eat one scoop of ice cream every day, even if thats all I ate, and I was in calorie deficit I would lose weight, she simply just said no you would gain weight and be terribly unhealthy. I agree you wouldnt be healthy, but you would still lose weight. That was it, she said after she didnt want to talk about it anymore. What do you guys think? I know CICO works, its been working for me, and so many other people on MFP. Why do people think CICO wont work??
People intentionally misunderstand for the purpose of arguing and feeling superior.
Is she smaller than you or was she the same size as you before you started losing weight? When I lost the weight years ago, I lost most of my friends. For many of them, I was that fat friend they hauled around to make themselves look better by contrast, when I lost the weight, I no longer fit into the role they had for me. I lost the friends who were the same size as me as they were angry that I was making progress and they just weren't ready to do that at the time.
People really don't like to see people they know being successful. Even people who are your friends really don't want to see your life improve unless their life is currently improving. It's just human nature. My thin friends tried to sabotage me every step of the way; they were furious when I had finally lost enough weight to date in the same circles and then they tried to trash my reputation. It can be impossible to keep some friends when the relationship roles change.
It's easier to give them some space now and make some new friends. You can probably be friends with her again at some point, but, right now she is hoping to sabotage. A science major knows better. Though, realistically, she probably doesn't even realize that's what she's doing. She's patting herself on the back for the helpful advice she's given.. lol
People pretty much just suck.
Shes always been thinner than me, and I think thats true, I just moved so ive been hoping to make new friends as it is!
She's scared you're going to be thinner than her while eating ice cream.11 -
Last Monday I signed up for a weight loss challenge at work. I know I won't win because I don't have much to lose, maybe 10lbs or so, but it was for charity and I need some motivitation (In 2011 I lost 50lbs, I'm now 20llbs up, looking to get to 155lbs).
Last week I weighed in at 166.7. Ate around my calorie goal (whatever I wanted) and didn't record exercise (Friday - Monday was a holiday crap food/beer fest, so not counting that). The scale said 164.6 this morning. The girl running the contest gained and was complaining that she did everything "right". I said "I didn't, I just ate less".
It goes to show it's easier to just eat less than do things "right". Much less frusterating.10 -
Asher_Ethan wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »jenniferinfl wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »So the title says it all. My best friend doesn't believe in CICO. I only told them recently that I started losing weight ( I told them once I was 15 lbs down) we went for a hike the other day, and then were walking back to their house, we stopped for ice cream. I had a ton of calories left so I got a flavor I actually wanted rather than just frozen yogurt. She was shocked and told me i'd never lose weight if im eating ice cream, and that our hike didnt count as exercise because we weren't in a gym (we burned over 1000 calories according to my fitbit!) I explained to her what MFP is all about it, and CICO and she said I was "getting obsessive" with calories I need to stop focusing on that, and eat only healthy foods and go to the gym for an hour every day, dont pay attention to calories. Im shocked that she would have such a strong opinion on it, shes a science major so I assumed something simple like CICO would make sense to her, you need to burn more calories than your body is taking in. Finally I explained I could eat one scoop of ice cream every day, even if thats all I ate, and I was in calorie deficit I would lose weight, she simply just said no you would gain weight and be terribly unhealthy. I agree you wouldnt be healthy, but you would still lose weight. That was it, she said after she didnt want to talk about it anymore. What do you guys think? I know CICO works, its been working for me, and so many other people on MFP. Why do people think CICO wont work??
People intentionally misunderstand for the purpose of arguing and feeling superior.
Is she smaller than you or was she the same size as you before you started losing weight? When I lost the weight years ago, I lost most of my friends. For many of them, I was that fat friend they hauled around to make themselves look better by contrast, when I lost the weight, I no longer fit into the role they had for me. I lost the friends who were the same size as me as they were angry that I was making progress and they just weren't ready to do that at the time.
People really don't like to see people they know being successful. Even people who are your friends really don't want to see your life improve unless their life is currently improving. It's just human nature. My thin friends tried to sabotage me every step of the way; they were furious when I had finally lost enough weight to date in the same circles and then they tried to trash my reputation. It can be impossible to keep some friends when the relationship roles change.
It's easier to give them some space now and make some new friends. You can probably be friends with her again at some point, but, right now she is hoping to sabotage. A science major knows better. Though, realistically, she probably doesn't even realize that's what she's doing. She's patting herself on the back for the helpful advice she's given.. lol
People pretty much just suck.
Shes always been thinner than me, and I think thats true, I just moved so ive been hoping to make new friends as it is!
She's scared you're going to be thinner than her while eating ice cream.
Definitely a possibility. Just crazy to think, I have been bigger than her since highschool (and I thought I was fat then
) Its just weird to think that she would put something as petty as weight before friendship, when I do get down to goal I have a feeling she may not be around anymore. 1 -
SusanMFindlay wrote: »The fact that she's a science major doesn't mean she's necessarily comfortable with math. If you told me a physics major disagreed with CICO, I'd be surprised - but a lot of students in the life sciences are actually very uncomfortable with math and numbers. "I love science but hate math; I will study biology/kinesiology/nutrition/etc." is a pretty common theme.
Disclaimer: My sister has both a biology degree and a math degree. I'm not saying that all biology students hate math. But a lot of them do. My sample size is several thousand students.
Yeah. Lot of biology majors up here don't like math and even in nutrition classes, some refuse to believe the text books over celebrity doctors/diet gurus.
I kinda feel like a lotta stuff is superstitious when it comes to weight loss "do's and don'ts". Like people didn't have all the information and so tried to do their best to guess at a good answer and got close enough that it worked. Eating a lot of ice cream makes you gain weight. If you didn't eat any of that ice cream you didn't gain weight or you lost. Thus ice cream makes you instantly gain weight the moment you eat it. Then when you tell them the mechanism behind all that and try to say "ice cream is good" you're butting up against their beliefs. It's the same people that think correlation is causation.
Disclaimer: I'm a biologist who is okay at math but terrible with numbers. I can't count past 20, I gotta divide things into groups and multiply.3 -
The "it wasn't exercise because it wasn't in a gym" seems more ridiculous than not believing it's all about CI<CO to me.8
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I know someone who is becoming a guru at "nutritional cleansing diet". (whatever that is).... I'm no expert on dieting, but the pictures of shakes and veggie meals that are posted on FB look miserable! I would not last a day! Good for you for fitting in a treat that is allowed by your daily intake! Sounds like you are doing wonderful!3
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »The "it wasn't exercise because it wasn't in a gym" seems more ridiculous than not believing it's all about CI<CO to me.
Yeah that one is crazy, to be honest 90% of my excerise is done walking, hiking, swimming and with work out DVD's so I dont get that at all.3 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »StaciMarie1974 wrote: »For some people, the idea that weight loss could be simple is too much. If its simple, a function of CICO, then they lose all their excuses as to why they can't/won't do it.
I've actually said something like this to some people and they give me a weird look like I must not be telling them the truth. Just a couple of weeks ago I said to someone, "to be honest I can't believe how easy it's been," and she just kind of looked at me like, "uh huh, you must be lying."
Yeah Im with you on that boat, the first two weeks I was thinking it cant be this easy, ill start gaining weight next week, and nope the scale is still moving downwards, almost under 200!12 -
I remember when I first was trying to lose weight my mum was aghast because I was having a chocolate bar - she exclaimed, you'll never lose any weight eating that, and she didn't want to hear when I said I could have anything as long as it fitted into my calories ...it 4 years since I lost the weight I needed to, I'm still slim/trim ....who knows better now eh mum!!! Me me me!
People have all sorts of weird notions about weight loss, thank goodness we don't have to live by their rules eh! it would be pretty miserable existence if we had to deny ourselves all sorts of delicious foods.5 -
I'd be more upset to have a friend that practices willful ignorance. I had a lot of misconceptions about weight loss at one point also, but thankfully I also had critical thinking skills and an open mind. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that tbh. Sometimes you outgrow people.4
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laurenebargar wrote: »I would just tell her that I don't need her advice, and then let results speak for themselves. She can believe whatever she wants to believe and it won't affect your results.
I do feel like in most cases, though, it's rude to offer criticisms of what other people are eating. If you didn't ask her for help, why is she picking apart your diet?
Yeah thats what I was feeling too honestly, I wasnt saying "oh I shouldnt be having ice cream im on a diet" I didnt say anything about calories, I just ordered what I wanted, and she started going on about this. I guess ive never really spoken with anyone yet about CICO and MFP, maybe this is how other people would react too.
Not really as extreme on my end. I do get some assumptions. Things like (upon turning down a larger portion of a salad drowning in dressing that also contains diced avocado), "But avocado is healthy fat and it's an organic dressing!" Or being asked by someone who's noticed the weight-loss, "How did you do it? You gave up bread? Carbs? Oil?"
And one person, after she asked and I told her about MFP and it all being CICO said, "That's great. I wish I had your willpower. I'm going to a weight-loss clinic next week."
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laurenebargar wrote: »I would just tell her that I don't need her advice, and then let results speak for themselves. She can believe whatever she wants to believe and it won't affect your results.
I do feel like in most cases, though, it's rude to offer criticisms of what other people are eating. If you didn't ask her for help, why is she picking apart your diet?
Yeah thats what I was feeling too honestly, I wasnt saying "oh I shouldnt be having ice cream im on a diet" I didnt say anything about calories, I just ordered what I wanted, and she started going on about this. I guess ive never really spoken with anyone yet about CICO and MFP, maybe this is how other people would react too.
I have to be honest, I have never, ever met anyone in real life that did not know losing weight is about calories in vs. calories out. And I talk about weight loss with a lot of people. Sometimes when I read through these forums it's like I'm from a different planet.0 -
Dammit my cycle ride today wasn't exercise as it wasn't in a gym.....
Your friend has some very strange beliefs.
TBH I have had a similar (but opposite) discussion with my MIL She claimed that you can only exercise when outdoors (default for my in-law family is runners). To which I replied so my workout at the gym, is not exercise? Or indoor Tennis etc?
Thankfully the penny dropped quickly that she was saying something majorly silly.
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Rebecca0224 wrote: »Because weightloss can't be that simple. You have to suffer and deprive yourself. Didn't you know you have to be miserable to lose weight?
People have trouble understanding that weightloss can be simple if you ignore the weightloss industry and gimmicks. We have been told that to loss weight we should eat like rabbits and go to the gym for hours every week and it's hard to let go of that.
My sister-in-law just shared before/after pics of her 90 pound weight loss on FB. And a long message about how much she struggled the last two years, including daily workouts, often in pain. I was so proud of her, but sad, too. I lost 90 pounds over a year, and found it so much easier than I expected. Tracking calories helped me find a way to eat the foods I love without feeling hungry or deprived. And doing simple walking led to running and lifting that made me feel strong and BETTER then I did before. Does she really think that being miserable with Keto and painful workouts is the only way to lose the weight? I really hope that by the time she finishes her weight loss that she can find a way of maintaining that isn't as difficult for her.9 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »What I find weird is that she thinks hiking isn't exercise and you can only exercise in a gym.
This. ^^^
I guess it's because they consider gym exercise as 'purposeful' whereas hiking is 'just walking around.' <insert eye-rolly here.>
What is amusing, though, is one hour of just walking around burns *way* more calories than the same hour spent in a gym lifting weights, getting all sweaty and feeling self-righteous.
Nah. It's that we're supposed to suffer to lose weight. "Eating healthy" and "going to the gym" are our penance for the wickedness of getting fat.
Just eating less (but still things we like) and increasing fun outdoor activities? Those aren't punishment enough, so we can't possibly lose weight that way. 18 -
I started calorie counting more than 20 years ago. It has always "worked," except when I stopped and gained at least some weight back again. I'm currently pondering how to not let that happen, but I think this is what people mean about calorie counting "not working." Sure it works, every time I do it!
I recall a friend saying to me "I want to lose weight, but I don't want to become obsessed with what I eat." Now that is a tall order. You have to at least become aware of what you eat. For people who tend to gain weight when not paying close attention (like me) this awareness seems to always border on obsession. Too bad for those around us.10
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