Incredibly stressful living situation causing me so much stress that it's making me sick and ....

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Replies

  • tattygun
    tattygun Posts: 447 Member
    2 choices...move out or lay the law down in a 'not nice way'...which is something we all have to do in life from time to time unfortunately, otherwise you end up in situations like this.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    megdnoorman wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    misskarne wrote: »
    If you know she uses drugs, and the house is so messy you don't know everything that's in there, there's another potential issue: what if the police come knocking and find drugs in the house? You'll have to do some fast talking to convince them they're not yours.


    i've thought about this and theres an easy solution... they would drug test both of us. i don't do any drugs so i would test negative and she would test positive.

    Check your state laws. This doesn't always work. You can be convicted of possession, intent to sell/trafficking, and so on even if it isn't in your system. I had a straight edge friend who had never so much as smoked a cigarette who learned this the hard way. There are dealers who don't use (especially if there are hard substances involved) and there is always aiding and abetting a crime by not reporting / allowing it to happen in your home etc.

    I'm not saying it's likely, but it does happen.

    This is what I was thinking too. And as someone who needs a criminal record check done for my employment, you don't want to take that risk. Of course, this depends on your location and local laws.
  • suryoyo85
    suryoyo85 Posts: 56 Member
    Just leave
    Your health and sanity isn't worth staying there
    Ppl don't change
  • crushingitdaily12345
    crushingitdaily12345 Posts: 577 Member
    divorce?
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    thanks so much for the feedback everyone... I should've mentioned the only reason I haven't moved yet (besides the lease only being half over) is that she is actually a close friend.. I had no idea living with her would be this terrible. I was lonely, and trying to save money so i decided to get a roommate after my first 2 years of living alone in my own place. Huge mistake it seems.

    How much of a friend is she if she doesn't take your feelings into account. Friendship should be a 50/50 agreement we give and we take but neither should give much more than the other.
    Tell her if she ain't willing to change she gotta go! Let her know you still love her but she gotta find another place to trash.
    And if that doesn't work buy a bag of concrete and when she ask what's it for tell her its for the weight. Sometimes you just gotta go good fella on a fool! :wink:
    Seriously, with all the stress she's causing you, she gotta go!


  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,250 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    thanks so much for the feedback everyone... I should've mentioned the only reason I haven't moved yet (besides the lease only being half over) is that she is actually a close friend.. I had no idea living with her would be this terrible. I was lonely, and trying to save money so i decided to get a roommate after my first 2 years of living alone in my own place. Huge mistake it seems.

    How much of a friend is she if she doesn't take your feelings into account. Friendship should be a 50/50 agreement we give and we take but neither should give much more than the other.
    Tell her if she ain't willing to change she gotta go! Let her know you still love her but she gotta find another place to trash.
    And if that doesn't work buy a bag of concrete and when she ask what's it for tell her its for the weight. Sometimes you just gotta go good fella on a fool! :wink:
    Seriously, with all the stress she's causing you, she gotta go!


    you're right is not a friend!!


    by the way everyone I'm moving in less than a month!! I got out of the lease!!

    Good update! Well done! How did she take it?
  • megdnoorman
    megdnoorman Posts: 282 Member
    @Tropicoolblonde congrats!
  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    She took it good, but honestly i don't even care. I doubt I'll want to hang out with such a selfish, disgusting and self centered person ever again :)

    Life is better spent worrying about yourself and the people you love than wasting effort on people who are negative in your life.

    I hope you find a great place for yourself!
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    thanks so much for the feedback everyone... I should've mentioned the only reason I haven't moved yet (besides the lease only being half over) is that she is actually a close friend.. I had no idea living with her would be this terrible. I was lonely, and trying to save money so i decided to get a roommate after my first 2 years of living alone in my own place. Huge mistake it seems.

    How much of a friend is she if she doesn't take your feelings into account. Friendship should be a 50/50 agreement we give and we take but neither should give much more than the other.
    Tell her if she ain't willing to change she gotta go! Let her know you still love her but she gotta find another place to trash.
    And if that doesn't work buy a bag of concrete and when she ask what's it for tell her its for the weight. Sometimes you just gotta go good fella on a fool! :wink:
    Seriously, with all the stress she's causing you, she gotta go!


    you're right is not a friend!!


    by the way everyone I'm moving in less than a month!! I got out of the lease!!

    Good update! Well done! How did she take it?


    She took it good, but honestly i don't even care. I doubt I'll want to hang out with such a selfish, disgusting and self centered person ever again :)

    Good to hear that you are moving on. I have been in that situation myself and put far too much effort on fixing the situation and worrying about their feelings rather than seeing the situation for what it was.
    Glad you are moving on.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,250 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    thanks so much for the feedback everyone... I should've mentioned the only reason I haven't moved yet (besides the lease only being half over) is that she is actually a close friend.. I had no idea living with her would be this terrible. I was lonely, and trying to save money so i decided to get a roommate after my first 2 years of living alone in my own place. Huge mistake it seems.

    How much of a friend is she if she doesn't take your feelings into account. Friendship should be a 50/50 agreement we give and we take but neither should give much more than the other.
    Tell her if she ain't willing to change she gotta go! Let her know you still love her but she gotta find another place to trash.
    And if that doesn't work buy a bag of concrete and when she ask what's it for tell her its for the weight. Sometimes you just gotta go good fella on a fool! :wink:
    Seriously, with all the stress she's causing you, she gotta go!


    you're right is not a friend!!


    by the way everyone I'm moving in less than a month!! I got out of the lease!!

    Good update! Well done! How did she take it?


    She took it good, but honestly i don't even care. I doubt I'll want to hang out with such a selfish, disgusting and self centered person ever again :)

    Oh, absolutely!~ But at least she's less likely to try and make your life hell for the next month
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
    Oh jeez..a druggie AND short on money...get as much of your stuff out of there as possible. She might be "taking it good" now, but in a couple of weeks' time, with no money to buy her drugs and knowing you're leaving anyway, your valuables might well become temptations too great for her to ignore.
  • Tropicoolblonde
    Tropicoolblonde Posts: 70 Member
    misskarne wrote: »
    Oh jeez..a druggie AND short on money...get as much of your stuff out of there as possible. She might be "taking it good" now, but in a couple of weeks' time, with no money to buy her drugs and knowing you're leaving anyway, your valuables might well become temptations too great for her to ignore.

    yeh it's fun XD

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Thanks for the update! Good luck w the move!
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  • Tropicoolblonde
    Tropicoolblonde Posts: 70 Member
    TeinyWinehouse wrote: »
    move.the.*kitten*.out! Jeez.

    I am as soon as possible. My new lease begins July 1, but my landlord is sympathetic and might let me leave middle of June.. so in like a week

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  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Tropicoolblonde wrote: »
    TeinyWinehouse wrote: »
    move.the.*kitten*.out! Jeez.

    I am as soon as possible. My new lease begins July 1, but my landlord is sympathetic and might let me leave middle of June.. so in like a week

    Outstanding! Maintaining a good relationship with a landlord can make quite an impact.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    In my many years of experience, she will never change, even if she promises she will. Move out. Lots of luck to you, and tell yourself this, "I can't control everything, but I can control what I put in my mouth!!"
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    So glad to hear you're out of that situation!
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
    Called it.
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    Glad to hear that your out of there. Sorry she went nuts on ya.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Thanks for the update. Glad you got out!
  • namelesshere
    namelesshere Posts: 334 Member
    Obviously, though your roommate may be a friend, you are not compatible living together. Move out as soon as possible if you can. You really don't have to give a reason to her. If your name is on the lease, tell her she needs to move. The drugs should be reason enough. Be prepared to take on the whole lease cost though if her name is also on the lease. You may be able to get your landlord to change the lease to reflect the change.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,250 Member
    namelesshere wrote: »
    Obviously, though your roommate may be a friend, you are not compatible living together. Move out as soon as possible if you can. You really don't have to give a reason to her. If your name is on the lease, tell her she needs to move. The drugs should be reason enough. Be prepared to take on the whole lease cost though if her name is also on the lease. You may be able to get your landlord to change the lease to reflect the change.

    You're a bit late :)
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