Have you ever been a victim of Child abuse?????

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  • Geona2011
    Geona2011 Posts: 11 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Yes and i am very sorry that this happened to you. The first thing I learned is to forgive. Forgive yourself, you did NOTHING WRONG! No matter what you heard, how you felt, nothing was your fault!! Then forgive that person(s), because not doing so still gives them POWER over you.
    As for the memories, that is hard, i know. There are still times that I think of things & can feel that hate rising up, i have to remind myself that it gives that devil power & I pray, i hug my children & i am happy that I broke cycle that my mom could not. I can barely sleep at night because I can hear every movement & i am ready to fight. A lot of times i stay awake until morning & then when my husband wakes, i know i can sleep well. My kids stayed in my room as babies because i made a vow to be ready to fight for their safety. My son was so independent quickly but my girl still likes to be close to momma. I have many hang ups but i refuse to be ignorant nor will i ever look away! My husband is 100% supportive in my healing & he has been so good to us.
    And yes, get counseling, find a group to talk with, but most of all, do not give in to the sadness & claim your right to be happy & move on.
    No it never goes away, BUT it doesn't have to smother you either. Good luck & don't give up on yourself. Fight for your right to live a happy & productive life! Prayers to you.
  • wellthenwhat
    wellthenwhat Posts: 526 Member
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    Yes. I'm so sorry for your struggles, and I feel your pain. I went through very little physical abuse, but a huge amount of emotional abuse, mostly from the church we were in. The only person in the whole world that was safe to me was my mom. And she was the target of the church, because she was a target, I was a target at school. My dad did nothing to stop any of it, and in fact sided with the church. I was very close to suicidal at 9 years old. If I wouldn't have had my mom to support me, I wouldn't be here today. A lot of my emotional and eating problems stem from it, and it affects my ability to trust even now.
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    LozasWoman wrote: »
    I've been through every kind of abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse, verbal, psychological, emotional, financial, sexual...
    My husband says I scream in my sleep... A lot of the time I don't remember it. It affects you, will always have an effect on you. But, we have to start living in our past and look to our future where WE have control over our lives.
    We can't let the past affect our potential, our desire, our will, our success....
    No regrets, no mistakes just life experiences that we learn from to make us wiser and stronger.

    Hi dear , hope so you are fine.My thoughts my vision is totally changed after sharing my pain on this forum ...and listening to alot of people like you.I felt that i am not alone i am not only one who suffers ..am speechless after reading everyone,s story.I feel guilty upon my thoughts... about my complains.And above that i feel more and more stronger now.I want to thank you all for all the support ,love and courage.
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    Geona2011 wrote: »
    Yes and i am very sorry that this happened to you. The first thing I learned is to forgive. Forgive yourself, you did NOTHING WRONG! No matter what you heard, how you felt, nothing was your fault!! Then forgive that person(s), because not doing so still gives them POWER over you.
    As for the memories, that is hard, i know. There are still times that I think of things & can feel that hate rising up, i have to remind myself that it gives that devil power & I pray, i hug my children & i am happy that I broke cycle that my mom could not. I can barely sleep at night because I can hear every movement & i am ready to fight. A lot of times i stay awake until morning & then when my husband wakes, i know i can sleep well. My kids stayed in my room as babies because i made a vow to be ready to fight for their safety. My son was so independent quickly but my girl still likes to be close to momma. I have many hang ups but i refuse to be ignorant nor will i ever look away! My husband is 100% supportive in my healing & he has been so good to us.
    And yes, get counseling, find a group to talk with, but most of all, do not give in to the sadness & claim your right to be happy & move on.
    No it never goes away, BUT it doesn't have to smother you either. Good luck & don't give up on yourself. Fight for your right to live a happy & productive life! Prayers to you.

    I feel same..that incidents had really a bad impact on my personality.I had lost my trust.I'm tryng to forget to forgive.I'm healing ..its tuff really really tuff though.I really want to thank you for sharing for caring.I cnt explain my feelings I just want to hug u and gv back u all the love support you tried to gv me.
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    wellthenwhat wrote: »
    Yes. I'm so sorry for your struggles, and I feel your pain. I went through very little physical abuse, but a huge amount of emotional abuse, mostly from the church we were in. The only person in the whole world that was safe to me was my mom. And she was the target of the church, because she was a target, I was a target at school. My dad did nothing to stop any of it, and in fact sided with the church. I was very close to suicidal at 9 years old. If I wouldn't have had my mom to support me, I wouldn't be here today. A lot of my emotional and eating problems stem from it, and it affects my ability to trust even now.

    Its good to hear that atleast you had your support system ..your mother.Thank you for sharing and make me feel that you cares for me .Your words really make me feel better.big big hugs and alot of prayers for you.
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    jodiwhite78 wrote: »
    I was born into an abusive family. The earliest memory I have as a 3 year old girl? My mom and brother are sitting on the couch holding on to each other and they're crying. They're scared. I'm pacing back and forth in front of them confused. Too young to understand what's going on. My "father", if you want to call him that is yelling. He's very angry and he's punching holes into the wall. That's my very first memory. That was my environment during my most important years of brain development. And because of that I went on to abusive relationships for more than 1/2 my life. I'm 39 years old now and I'm still suffering. Depression, anxiety, bad coping mechanisms, I battle them daily. I'm on anti depressants because when I don't take them I become suicidal. What helps me is to surround myself with healthy minded people. I've had to cut ties with people I love because they were abusive to me. Once I started surrounding myself with healthy people things started to get better. Very slowly. Like 10 years slowly. And I still have my bad days. But now I have more good than bad. I'm so sorry your in pain. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it will all be okay. It will be okay. Each and everyday it'll get better. But the pain never goes away...you just learn how to deal with it and how to love yourself.
    The first step is to admit that you need help. Whether it's medication, counseling or both. Second step, get the help. Let me tell you it took everything I had to get help. But know that you are worth it. Life doesn't have to be like this for you. God bless

    Your words left me speechless am crying with happy tears...how can you people give me so much love and care ..its beyond my expectations.I really really want to hug you.I feel better your words made me stronger.You had your sufferings and i'm really sorry for that.I pray you will get alot and alot happiness and love in your life to forget that things or to overcome .just Love love love for u
  • DannyYMi54321
    DannyYMi54321 Posts: 77 Member
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    Yes, I was - physical abuse, slapping, shoving, grabbing, punching. Emotional abuse, being called names, told I was worthless, called the perjorative word for gay that starts with an F, molested, fondled, made to strip down, raped, and also made to watch his own deviant acts. Domestic violence, guns, knives, brutal control by fear. I was 16 the last time he abused me sexually, 24 the last time he hit me, punched me in the jaw.

    Father of the year, eh? Nice way to treat your only son.
  • PattyG327
    PattyG327 Posts: 21 Member
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    I am sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. I was sexual abuse by my father & an older cousin. It wasn't frequent, but the few times it happened, it had an impact on me. I was depressed for a long time, for I had lost my mom at age 10 and it happened around that time, more or less.
    If you need to talk, message me. Take care. God bless you.
  • LadybugMary
    LadybugMary Posts: 8 Member
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    Dear Marinah,

    Yes, I was also a victim of childhood sexual abuse and I'm so very sorry that you were also. I'm sorry you are in such pain. I love what Pax wrote and say AMEN to that!
  • LadybugMary
    LadybugMary Posts: 8 Member
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    DannyYMi54321 wrote: »
    Yes, I was - physical abuse, slapping, shoving, grabbing, punching. Emotional abuse, being called names, told I was worthless, called the perjorative word for gay that starts with an F, molested, fondled, made to strip down, raped, and also made to watch his own deviant acts. Domestic violence, guns, knives, brutal control by fear. I was 16 the last time he abused me sexually, 24 the last time he hit me, punched me in the jaw.

    Father of the year, eh? Nice way to treat your only son.

    Oh Danny, I'm so sorry. I pray you find healing and peace.

  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    LadybugMary wrote: »
    Dear Marinah,

    Yes, I was also a victim of childhood sexual abuse and I'm so very sorry that you were also. I'm sorry you are in such pain. I love what Pax wrote and say AMEN to that!

    Pax words healed me alot.I'm feel sorry that you goes through same pain.Life is miserable sometimes.
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    DannyYMi54321 wrote: »
    Yes, I was - physical abuse, slapping, shoving, grabbing, punching. Emotional abuse, being called names, told I was worthless, called the perjorative word for gay that starts with an F, molested, fondled, made to strip down, raped, and also made to watch his own deviant acts. Domestic violence, guns, knives, brutal control by fear. I was 16 the last time he abused me sexually, 24 the last time he hit me, punched me in the jaw.

    Father of the year, eh? Nice way to treat your only son.

    Dear Danny ! Its hard i know.Sometimes we just dont want to hear any advice or healing words .If same happened with you and whenever you want a fellow to share to just hear you.Just drop a msg.I'm always there for you.Keep your head high young man
    love...
  • Marinah0987
    Marinah0987 Posts: 30 Member
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    PattyG327 wrote: »
    I am sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. I was sexual abuse by my father & an older cousin. It wasn't frequent, but the few times it happened, it had an impact on me. I was depressed for a long time, for I had lost my mom at age 10 and it happened around that time, more or less.
    If you need to talk, message me. Take care. God bless you.

    Patty , i pray alot of good for you.I will be much happy to talk to you..
    hugs
  • DannyYMi54321
    DannyYMi54321 Posts: 77 Member
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    Marinah0987 wrote: »
    DannyYMi54321 wrote: »
    Yes, I was - physical abuse, slapping, shoving, grabbing, punching. Emotional abuse, being called names, told I was worthless, called the perjorative word for gay that starts with an F, molested, fondled, made to strip down, raped, and also made to watch his own deviant acts. Domestic violence, guns, knives, brutal control by fear. I was 16 the last time he abused me sexually, 24 the last time he hit me, punched me in the jaw.

    Father of the year, eh? Nice way to treat your only son.

    Dear Danny ! Its hard i know.Sometimes we just dont want to hear any advice or healing words .If same happened with you and whenever you want a fellow to share to just hear you.Just drop a msg.I'm always there for you.Keep your head high young man
    love...

    Thank you. I wish I were young, I'm old enough to qualify for AARP and a senior discount at a few places. I wish I knew 30 years ago what I know now about all of this. My entire adult life has been a quest to "fix it" without ever really understanding the basic problem. I compartmentalized all of the abuse away to the point I made vague comments like "he was hard to live with" or "he was hsrd on me" or "he had a temper". I never even admitted the CSA to myself and spent a lot of years telling myself it didn't happen, or I was blowing it out of proportion or it was some suggested false memory from some movie or something. And I tried all kinds of "cures" - therapists but never talked about abuse, positive thinking/Dale Carnegie stuff; weight loss programs and clinics, WW and OA, naturopathy, hypnotherapy, yada yada yada.

    Various life events and problems put me on an intersect course with a trauma therapist. About 3 years now; i would love to say it has just fixed evrything; right now I am in this very down place, full of both anger and a desire to take back the potential I had in life that was stolen, but also this deep depression that makes me really think about specifics of suicide and the sense of just being so tired of fighting for every square foot of ground I hold. The therapist and other professionals I see are doing everything they can and have been great; I guess in any field of medicine some patients won't make it for whatever reason; if that's me well - i wenr through some pretty extreme atuff in my youth; I hope I have a good outcome but it may just be asking too much: this psychological cancer may just be too agressive and too resistant to treatment and I may not make it - at least I'm giving it a shot.
  • Kullerva
    Kullerva Posts: 1,114 Member
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    *raises hand*

    CPTSD and DID here. (Yeah. The trauma shattered my conscious mind. Good freaking times.) My alter is four. Those who meet him when he's "active" tend to be terrified of me when they see me next.

    Find a good therapist and work on it a little at a time. I'm much better now than I used to be, in that I can function, hold down a job, and improve my lifestyle slowly. I have--and will likely always have--difficulty with relationships, be they platonic or romantic, since I trust no one and the alter carries an arsenal of big sticks.

    Prayers don't help, by the way. Try supporting, writing or presenting legislation in your area that punishes child molesters and beaters; that helps us survivors a lot more. I prefer "survivor" to "victim." Victims find it tougher to fight back.

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