Your biggest difficulties AFTER losing the weight (Pics)?

JustRobby1
JustRobby1 Posts: 674 Member
edited July 2017 in Success Stories
We all know the positives, but what new and unique challenges have come to the forefront as a result of drastically changing your life by drastically changing your body? I have highlighted some of mine below.

My feet are smaller-
This I was totally not expecting. I was one of those guys that had a sneaker/shoe collection that rivaled most girls (or retired rappers). It was just one of my quirks. My body getting smaller I was fully expecting as I lost weight, but my feet? Nobody clued me into this possibility. I had previously wore a size 11 and a half, but these days I can fit into a 10 or sometimes a 10 and a half depending on the brand. Most all of them began to look like clown shoes on me after about 7-8 months in. All but my crown jewel pair of Jordan's that I simply cant part with no matter if I can wear them or not have since been sold on Ebay

Food and eating will never be the same-
Most of the challenge of weight loss is not exercise, it's diet, and this is the first major overhaul most of us have to face. The strange thing is the amount of self discipline required to consistency lose weight makes food not really an enemy per se, but an ally that you constantly have to watch and keep in check like a sketch GF you suspect might be cheating on you. Spending ridiculous amounts of time in the grocery store trying to find the ultimate beverage, lunch meat, cheese, etc. that contains the lowest possible calorie count but still tastes edible is an art form in and of itself. Going out to dinner with friends on a Friday makes you form a battle plan like a general by looking up the restaurant website days in advance and finding out the best food selections. Being constantly preoccupied with meal planning seems very odd at first, but after awhile you get so used to it that it becomes the new normal.

I truly miss the freedom of "I don't give AF"-
It's always easier not to care right? Not caring about food choices and operating with reckless abandon is strangely liberating in many ways. This motto goes far beyond just food selection. When you are fat you are in a constant state of denial where 3rd party perspective almost does not exist. You never care about how straight your neck tie is, if your hair is styled, or how your pants may fit. Comfort always took precedence over style. Once you drop the weight you become far more dialed in to aspects of appearance you had previously never given a second thought to.

All the attention from the opposite sex is not always positive
Even pretty overweight, I have never been a horribly bad looking dude, but now that my facial features are more pronounced and the bod is smaller, the females are much more front and center in my life. This was a welcome change of pace at first no question, but after awhile it gets a little odd and overwhelming. Since I am single, Tinder, POF, and other such apps have been my dating life. After doing this for awhile I have come to the conclusion I was not missing all that much previously. Probably the biggest shocker for me about using these various apps is many of the girls are not much different than the guys in that they are basically just looking to f**k. The only major difference is the girls are more subtle about this most of the time. There likely is truly awesome girls on many of these apps, but I doubt I would even notice in my present state. I am afraid of love. I am afraid that I would lose my focus on my program. I am afraid that my significant other would never be able to understand my irrational idiosyncrasies. I think I can only ever get together with another former fat person. Other than dating apps, my social life has pretty much dried up to be honest. Unlike most dudes in their 20's I don't go out to the bars on the weekends anymore, and I avoid going to lunch or dinner with coworkers or clients because I have less control over the food/calories. Except for my interactions at work, I pretty much keep to myself these days except here on MFP and BB.


I have realized that even after reaching goal I will have body issues-
I have already started to get the preliminary signs of the dreaded loose skin phenomenon, both on my belly as well as under my arms. I weight train like a bat out of hell which will no doubt help, as will my relative youth, but at the end of the day there is going to be nothing I can do about this. In fact, it is only going to get worse. The image I had in my head of being ripped like Atlas is never going to be a reality for me unless I pony up the cash for expensive plastic surgery. I have started wearing compression garments under my clothing almost daily to minimize how noticeable this is.

I am no longer funny/the life of the party.
It's an all too common theme that those who are overweight often try to compensate for this lack of physical attractiveness with having a robust personality. This was certainly the case in my own life. I was always the guy that would order another round of shots. I was always the guy who would make extremely inappropriate jokes that had everyone rolling. I was told I made other people at ease by my extroverted and giddy personality.
These days? I rarely smile anymore. People tell me I am stone faced, ineffectual and stoic, as if "you must have something weighing heavy on your mind". The truth is, I guess I really do.

In my mind, I am always going to be the fat kid
You can take the weight off the guy, but you can never remove the fatty mentality from his brain. In most ways, I am still just the same insecure guy I ever was, regardless of the positive reinforcement I often receive from others. The odd thing is I feel like I am desperately running away from a past that hasn’t relinquished it's influence over me. Perhaps I am feeling this way because I am not entirely used to being ‘not fat’. Perhaps in the years to come, my insecurity will diminish. Maybe I could even be "happy" again. But in the interim I am just going to have to deal with this.


Before (my Mom is in the background)

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Last Weekend

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Replies

  • NRTL
    NRTL Posts: 16 Member
    Sara2652 wrote: »

    Exactly what I was going to recommend!
  • VeronicaA76
    VeronicaA76 Posts: 1,116 Member
    I started lifting weights. I went from 40% body fat to 30% with serious muscle gains. Jeans are starting to become an issue. My waist size and quads are two different sizes!!!! I can wear a size 9 waist, but need a 13 to fit my thighs because of the muscle gains. Also, my t-shirts are getting snug around the arms, damn you biceps!!! (In a good way).
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    @supaflyrobby1 There are women just as willing to get away from the tinder scene as you are. I don't know where you find them. You don't find them on tinder.
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    Good effort, the transformation is astounding. As for your headspace - you'll get there. It takes a lot of time for the mind to catch up with the new body. That being said, it may be worth having a mental health check with your GP to make sure it's not something else taking away your smile. And as for your current lack of social life and meeting women - if you're avoiding bars, surely there's a running club or other sporting group you could join, in my experience they're full of happy, friendly people. Keep up the good work.

    I second this. I do think it takes a while for your mind to catch up with the new you per se, but I also think there's nothing wrong with talking with a professional about it as well.
  • soufauxgirl
    soufauxgirl Posts: 392 Member
    What an articulate and candid read, I can relate to your post on so many levels, thanks for sharing.
  • creationscrown
    creationscrown Posts: 304 Member
    Love this! Thanks for your honesty. It really is such a complicated issue, isn't it?! We have to redefine ourselves and begin creating a new inner narrative of who we are. It's totally possible and totally worth it!!
  • heyitstayrawr
    heyitstayrawr Posts: 22 Member
    Sobering perspective! I really related to the part where you mentioned only dating a former fat person. I thought this exact thing the other day! I hope your mental state catches up to your physical state. You've done an amazing job! You deserve to be happy.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Congrats on your success! Life is not perfect, and we will always be the same "person" inside. Obviously there are many positive aspects too, so I encourage you to focus on those and write up a matching list of all the improvements you now can celebrate!
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    Unlike you my biggest difficulty after losing weight is that I still can't get a reply on the personals. I wished and prayed every day of my life that after I lost weight I would stop being invisible. It breaks my heart so bad, and I can't even begin to describe how envious I am of you and other men who are suddenly deemed "attractive" by the opposite sex after losing weight. Absolutely envious. Now I have to hold my head in shame and try to find some other reason to maintain my fitness.

    Your transformation is fantastic though, and you should be proud. You look great!

    But yeah, so many guys post about how after they lost weight they get all this attention, and I"m just here with crickets chirping.... *kitten* me. You get attention and you don't even want it.
  • chafoxeymitchner
    chafoxeymitchner Posts: 23 Member
    Crying
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Amen, brother. Very relatable. My husband *is* still fat, though I think he's finally on the right track with his efforts and no longer doing it halfway then quitting. So we both know the other person's struggle. I think your idea of finding a woman who also used to be fat is smart because her expectations will be realistic with regards to food and exercise and all related activities.
  • saraghali
    saraghali Posts: 63 Member
    Wawww amazing !
  • Panda8ach
    Panda8ach Posts: 518 Member
    You are a very gifted and eloquent writer. I read this aloud to my husband (we are both on fitness/diet plans) and it actually kept his attention through the whole thing... MONUMENTAL trust me. Have you considered blogging?... or hell.... your inspirational journey and realness could make you a great coach. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!

    This... All of this ^^^^ and a huge well done too! :)
  • Panda8ach
    Panda8ach Posts: 518 Member
    PixelPuff wrote: »
    I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY ABOUT THE SHOES.

    I went from a 7.5 Wide shoe/heel/whatever to a regular 6.5 on most brands (occasional 7, with wiggle room). Thank you. This is one of the things nobody mentions and I quietly feel like I'm imaging things.

    I'm also in the "100lbs lost" club. Extra skin on the stomach sucks, but y'know what? Idgaf, I'm a babe. I've earned it.

    I do miss having a chest, but I like myself as I am now.

    czb31q3c7awt.jpg


    You look amazing <3
  • saltlakecitywestsider
    saltlakecitywestsider Posts: 17 Member
    Now I'm worried about the shoes. :/ I just bought a pair of cross-trainers (needed) and a pair of weight lifting shoes (not badly needed) in the same week. Now days later, I have a pair of trail runners on the way (mostly because I like how they look). That will be three new pair of Adidas along with my other mostly size 8.5 shoes (and the other two pair of Adidas I have my eye on.) I hope losing 40-50 pounds won't make my feet too small for for any of my shoes.
  • 4545868
    4545868 Posts: 5 Member
    When you're ready, seek out someone who has walked the same path as you. As long as meal planning and prep has to remain your (and all of our) way of life from here on out, it could be a helpful, bonding part of a permanent relationship you'll do together.
  • PixelPuff
    PixelPuff Posts: 902 Member
    Now I'm worried about the shoes. :/ I just bought a pair of cross-trainers (needed) and a pair of weight lifting shoes (not badly needed) in the same week. Now days later, I have a pair of trail runners on the way (mostly because I like how they look). That will be three new pair of Adidas along with my other mostly size 8.5 shoes (and the other two pair of Adidas I have my eye on.) I hope losing 40-50 pounds won't make my feet too small for for any of my shoes.

    If they do get a bit loose, begin looking at some of those 'support' inserts. Not only will your back feel great (especially in heels, ermagerd), but they take up a bit of room inside shoes. May make'm fit again.
  • logiatype
    logiatype Posts: 110 Member
    Last paragraph really hit home for me. My body has changed and continues to change (and I'm happy with the results) but going through this has altered my personality (maybe permanently). I don't think I'll ever enjoy food in the same way again. Just the guilt of eating above my goal is enough to alter how much I enjoy what I'm eating. People that I used to go out to eat with rarely invite me anymore.

    I've always been on the quieter, more aloof side but becoming cold/calculating about what/how much I eat appears to have bled into most other aspects of my life.
  • threecharms
    threecharms Posts: 36 Member
    I second what everyone else has said, but I personally find it refreshing for a guy to acknowledge the self image and emotional connections to weight loss and weight maintenance. I think the fact that you've acknowledged all these things is predictive of your ultimate success in your physical and romantic pursuits. Good luck!
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