Body shame

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Replies

  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I would show him where the door is.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    leasy1 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    leasy1 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    has he told you he doesn't find you attractive? surely at some point he did to want to be with you?

    is he saying he doesn't find you attractive since you gained weight?

    I have gained 9lb since meeting him, I had his child. He hasn't said anything but when I ask he says "I love you for you" talk about insult to injury. He said he likes my accent and I sound posh, that's the reason he was attracted to me.

    so you want him to love you for you, but when he says that you don't believe him and you think he doesn't find you attractive....? i think you're leaving out some of the story here....

    I would just like "oh you look nice today" or any kind of compliment rather a generic "I love you" like the other night we was watching TV while he was eating, some woman came on, nothing left to the imagination and he stopped chewing his food, I actually thought at one point he'd stopped breathing, eyes transfixed and I don't even get a glance not even a peep. Probably being to self conscious and insecure.

    Why are you tolerating this? His behavior all sounds unacceptable. There are men out there who aren't jerks.
  • HooperDrivesTheBoatChief
    HooperDrivesTheBoatChief Posts: 252 Member
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  • johnw83
    johnw83 Posts: 6,219 Member
    very true it gose both ways
  • fattbone1904
    fattbone1904 Posts: 41 Member
    leasy1 wrote: »
    I was wondering what you would do if your other half didn't find you attractive, body and face. Is it all about appearances or personality? Would it make you more determined to lose weight or would you think if you don't love me like this you're not going to love me slimmer? I am me regardless.

    Sadly to say but there's a time when they just don't love you anymore and no matter how hard you try to change the other person, they already made up their mind...☹️☹️☹️

    I think the most beautiful people in the world are the ones who have positive personalities!!!!! Appearance are goooood but once that goes away the only thing left is who you are from the inside
  • leasy1
    leasy1 Posts: 172 Member

    For the sake of being told I am an attention seeker I will not reply to everyone I will keep this short and end the conversation here.

    I would like to say a massive thank you from the bottom of my heart and I really do appreciate everything everyone has said.

    It really does mean a lot. <3
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    edited July 2017
    I personally only date people who are in shape, into working out, and take care of their appearance. So, baring any major life or health events causing such, if they started packing on weight you can bet I would be gone. I mean, I would of course talk to them about it at first. Because anyone I date will know ahead of time how I feel about it. I work my *kitten* off for my body. And that is something I have to have in common with anyone in whom I would be interested.

    And it's not JUST about looks. No, I would no longer find them attractive. But beyond that, they would not be the person I had chosen to be with. Because either they misrepresented themselves as someone who cares about fitness and taking care of their body OR they just changed and lost interest. Either way, that's not someone I would be with.

    And yes, if the roles were reversed and I let myself go I would understand completely if someone I were dating lost interest and ended things.
  • chantelp0508
    chantelp0508 Posts: 162 Member
    I've gained 60lbs over the last 9 years. He still tells me that I'm sexy and I turn him on, but I really think he's embarrassed to be seen with me. As far as noticing other women, I don't mind because I look too. Most of the time I'll say something before he does. I know I've got to get my *kitten* in gear
  • born_of_fire74
    born_of_fire74 Posts: 776 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    OP, you need to talk to your husband. Weights go up and down but you have to tell him to remember the first few months of knowing each other forever.

    When I met my wife, she was in a different place. I had never seen someone so attractive. She had red hair and after lunch we went to starbucks and as I was standing behind her I was shaking inside.....

    The second time I met her she was walking towards me in the parking lot. And I will always remember that. It was like a walk of fame.

    We went to a movie in the third outing and it was the best movie I ever saw.

    Fast forward - many life problems, miscarriages, all kinds of medication, ivf injections and she is just depressed all the time and has gained a lot of weight, then lost, then gained again - sometimes life happens and being fit is not a priority.

    When you are married, you have to remember who you fell in love with.

    My recommendation to you apart from reminding him of early days is - dress fashionably and keep yourself up to style trends and it can help. Men are visual beasts.

    This is wonderful.

    I think it boils down to whether you love the person or you love what the person looks like. It is inevitable that what the person looks will change.
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