I'm now "Socially" unbearable to be around and stopped dating and going out

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Replies

  • KingsGirl4
    KingsGirl4 Posts: 152 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I find balance in life to be very beneficial...

    I agree and I'm at a point in my life where I feel personally balanced. I like my daily diet and I eat and drink what I want. Just because my version of balanced is different than someone else's doesn't mean they have to judge me.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,937 Member
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I find balance in life to be very beneficial...

    I agree and I'm at a point in my life where I feel personally balanced. I like my daily diet and I eat and drink what I want. Just because my version of balanced is different than someone else's doesn't mean they have to judge me.
    KingsGirl4 wrote: »
    usmcmp wrote: »
    How are you unbearable if your friends respect you?
    How has it impacted your social life if your friends are cool with it as you claim?
    Maybe you are projecting. You're seeing issues that nobody else is seeing.


    I don't have strict rules in place for my eating, so I haven't really had to deal with it. Even during competition prep when my friends or family want to go out I plan in advance and make it work. The food you order has zero impact on the people you eat with. Stop thinking you are being weird, it's likely causing you mental harm.

    I feel my friends respect me as they put up with it but they still have to go out of their way to make a comment to me: "you don't want to drink alcohol?! You're only ordering milk instead of a coffee?!"

    That just sounds like normal mealtime banter in my world. I don't drink alcohol and there are occasional comments. I eat different foods from what others order, and there are comments. So? It's just mealtime chatter. Go with the flow. This weirdness is in your head. We are all unique in our food preferences. It's not a reason to feel like there's something wrong with that.
  • InkAndApples
    InkAndApples Posts: 201 Member
    I cannot fathom any of my friends ever actually caring what I order other than if they were getting a major case of food envy. And they went through the years where all I could bring myself to eat was a plate of chips no matter where we were. We do discuss our meals though and what we've ordered, ask each other about our choices - that's standard dinner conversation.

    OP, either your friends are terrible and you need new ones or you're being oversensitive to normal food based chit chat.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,811 Member
    I was slender and fit for most of my life ... and actively involved in cycling and a few other sports activities.

    For many years, I set the socialisation rules ... in the summer, if you wanted to socialise with me, you got on your bicycle and rode with me. We'd have many hours to socialise on a ride. :)

    In the winter, I was open to going out for coffee or to the movies or whatever.

    I don't recall anyone making fun of me.

    After a short time gaining weight and cycling less, I'm back to being slender and fit and actively involved in cycling and a few other sports activities.

    Again, no one makes fun of me ... at least not to my face. There could be a few who think I'm nuts, but I don't care. It's my life and I'm enjoying it. :)

  • RedSierra
    RedSierra Posts: 253 Member
    edited July 2017
    Your friends sound socially unbearable if they think it's weird to order water, a veggie patty or Greek yogurt. Why would you want to be around people who are staring at what you eat and drink?

    I eat veggie patties and drink water in restaurants and have the same friends I've always had -- they sit across from me and eat their sausages with waffles and coffee and we leave each other alone. We're there to talk to each other, not stare and criticize.
  • shell13b
    shell13b Posts: 55 Member
    Sad when friends do not get you or understand the changes. :-(
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    I go to the corner bar with my husband and drink water, doesn't bother me -- but probably annoys the bartenders. I'm vegetarian too and never have an issue ordering off the menu, though a typical restaurant vegetarian meal does not fill me up. As for your social life, as long as you're not constantly talking about diet/food/health, I don't see an issue.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    I don't understand why this makes you socially unbearable to be around
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I find balance in life to be very beneficial...

    This ^^

    If I'm eating out with friends or my husband/kids I save calories up during the week. Then I can eat what ever I like and enjoy a drink as well.

    I went years not eating out or enjoying food or socialising and it was when I had an eating disorder.
  • LynnJ9
    LynnJ9 Posts: 414 Member
    edited July 2017
    Some of my family are not very supportive of my dieting. It may be because they are overweight and don't want to be reminded of it, or they think I am overly concerned about it.
    When we all met in San Diego over the 4th of July week, I was careful to not mention my diet, and just avoided eating meals with them until dinner. We hung out at the beach, etc. but I would walk (1.3 miles for exercise) back to my hotel and eat there for lunch.
    At dinner I would choose what I thought was healthy, eat as much as I thought was appropriate. I did not reference my diet or say anything like, "oh I wish I could have that", or "I can't eat that". I think they knew I was dieting, but the subject never came up.
    And then I have friends that know I am dieting and even suggest "healthy" restaurants they have heard about for us to eat at. Your good friends will support you.
  • TnZMom
    TnZMom Posts: 222 Member
    It's amazing how much social time is spent around food. You don't want to give up going for coffee or to restaurants. Here's what I do:

    -- split meals with friends. Instead of eating an entire entree, my friend and I order a salad, an entree, and a dessert, and split them These days restaurant portions are so huge, it works.

    -- get tea at the coffee shop. Then you're not weird, you're cultured.

    -- make healthy snacks and share them with your friends. My definition of healthy is flexible... try homemade versions of bars and cookies and just cut the fat by a little and the sugar by a little. Not perfect, but healthiER.
  • timtam163
    timtam163 Posts: 500 Member
    My group is full of vegetarians and people who are trying to be healthy, so I don't see this as much. I do make an effort to be less rigid when it's a special occasion, but not everyone wants to compromise for every event that comes along. My family gave me the toughest time and I still don't know how to deal with flack about eating habits.

    That being said I'm a big fan of having people over for dinner or a movie night or dessert. Feeding people seems to relieve weirdness and also you yourself know what's in it. If however the issue is that your friends are trying to drag you down, maybe have a couple one-on-one conversations and try to honestly communicate how you feel. You shouldn't have to compromise on self care, and true friends wouldn't ask you to.
  • fionabuckleymedia
    fionabuckleymedia Posts: 1 Member
    It's good if you don't care what they say, but if it starts to affect your success and progress, maybe you need new friends to be able to support your lifestyle instead of make it more difficult to follow!
  • SweatsOnSunday
    SweatsOnSunday Posts: 514 Member
    Everything you said seems pretty normal, at least in my city. People share desserts, ask for menu changes, embrace clean eating, etc. You're friends are immature. You have the right to eat and drink whatever you want, however you want it. Enjoy!
  • Changing_Charity
    Changing_Charity Posts: 197 Member
    edited July 2017
    <3

  • KingsGirl4
    KingsGirl4 Posts: 152 Member
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    I don't understand why this makes you socially unbearable to be around

    Because if I'm such an eyeroll for customizing my food/drink, then obviously they don't want to be around me.

    From all the other comments, I realized it's a particular friend of mine who is getting me worked up. This friend literally says "you're weird" to my face in an embarrassing way in front of waiters. I guess since it was recent, it has multiplied the other comments I receive from other friends.

    I'm learning more and more that it really comes down to who you surround yourself with. When I'm surrounded by my overweight friends, I tend to eat double or triple my servings. I just need to keep being with people who enjoy activities like I do.

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