I hope this isn't just another attempt.
RichardAllenWayne
Posts: 11 Member
First of all my name is Richard, I'm 34 years old and weigh in at about 440lbs at 6'3. I really need to succeed at losing weight this time around. I have recently been diagnosed with type II diabetes and a fatty liver to go along with my high blood pressure. I'm really kinda lost at this point in my life and need some help. I work in an office where I almost never have to get up out of my chair. I have a beautiful wife and daughter and I can only imagine how my weight is affecting them. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to take a shower without getting out of breath, hell I want to be able to talk without getting out of breath. This is day one, I am needing advice on what to do or what not to do. I am very bad at going in 100% and getting burned out in a couple of weeks. I feel like I have no energy to do much and was wondering if some sort of vitamins would help with that at all with of course some physical activity. One of the biggest problems with my eating is I don't like many vegetables and that hurts when trying to plan a meal. Any advice from you guys would be greatly appreciated. Someone just tell me there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I'll make it.
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Replies
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Hey Richard! As a very data oriented person, I have found MFP and calorie counting to be an excellent tool, but it's one that takes practice and patience. Losing weight is a long process, and although there are certainly stories of people who manage extreme loss in short periods and then successfully stay there, those people are outliers. That said, I think that all the data talking about failed diets and so forth is mostly because of those crash diets, not from people gradually but steadily making life-long changes that lead to caloric deficits that leads to weight loss. It sounds like you've probably done that route, so I'm preaching to the choir here, sorry!
If you're new to this kind of calorie counting (and even if you're not), I'd recommend reading the recommended posts, buying a food scale, and making your first goal judgment-free tracking. I did this for six months, but maybe a week or two is more in your time frame - it's totally up to you. Read up on TDEE and BMR, and make goal number two sticking to your maintenance calories for a certain period of time, while still working to improve your tracking. Goal number three is to start making those small changes that add up to small caloric deficits, and then keep increasing over time.
And don't get discouraged! You see a lot of people post here about how "I've been tracking 100% absolutely everything for two weeks and I'm not losing weight, what's up?!" They're almost always under-counting calories, because it takes a lot of practice to get accurate. And a food scale. Buy a food scale. Good luck and be patient!11 -
Since you know that you have trouble with going 100% and burning out, make NOT doing that your first step. At your weight, the only thing you need to focus on right now is your diet. Have you gone through the MFP set up yet to determine what your calorie intake should be per day? If not, go do that, you'll probably be surprised how many calories you can have to lose weight. At your height and weight it should be probably around 2600 calories a day to lose 2 lbs per week.
Buy a food scale and start weighing everything. Get the diet under control. Make that your only focus for right now. Later on you can add in some exercise if you want, but the only important thing is getting the food under control. You don't even HAVE to eat vegetables, though I'd recommend it. Maybe try new methods of cooking them. Roasted veggies are my jam. But again, you don't absolutely have to have them. The only thing you have to do is eat only the amount of calories that MFP tells you to.
There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. You are at the best place possible to start making this change. There is so much great support here and the tool of food logging is the #1 weight loss tool out there. You can do this! Congrats on day 1 and many more days to come.13 -
Also, a couple of resources that are really helping me are the book "Smart People Don't Diet" by Charlotte Markey (although she doesn't like calorie tracking long term and clearly I do), and the blog bodyforwife.com (although he's a big exercise plus diet guy, and I'm taking this one sloooooooow step at a time and not worrying about exercise right now).1
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My Day 1 last year in January I wrote, "This is my next attempt ..." I was skeptical. I was pessimistic. I was going to give it a try. That's all. Just one try. The first thing I realized I had to do was "log my food". Before even trying to change my eating, I practiced logging my food for a week. After becoming convinced by this that my weight could be managed by making simple changes, I then started making some simple changes. That was 100+ lb ago and I'm almost to my goal in the healthy BMI. I have one mfp friend who has lost 200+, another who has lost 300+, and a third who has lost 400+ lb. The common features of all of them is that they log their food every day, stay within their calorie targets almost every day, and they do exercise a lot. There's nothing hard about this. It's all easy. You just have to be consistent, honest, and persistent.13
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Hello Richard. Welcome and congrats on deciding to get healthy.
My biggest piece of advice to you at this point is to take baby steps. Don't feel like you have to make a bunch of changes all at once or do everything "just right" from the start. I would suggest focusing only on food at this point.
With your starting stats, I wouldn't even count calories right now. I would instead make a dedicated and honest effort to log (either on MFP or in a little notebook) every single thing that you eat all day long--3 eggs, 3 serving spoons of mashed potatoes, 2 slices of toast with butter, handful of chips, 3 leftover chicken nuggets from Child #1's lunch, etc.--for three days. Then I would work on reducing what you're eating by cutting out the low hanging fruit--other people's leftovers, random piece of candy as you walk by the front counter at work, etc. Slowly you can work to create a nutritionally well-rounded diet by making little changes like that.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember that this is a long term project. You are teaching or re-teaching yourself how to eat and how to act. Think of how long it took your kids to learn to walk and run. It's going to be like that--you'll know that it will happen but you have to take all of those baby steps along the way.8 -
Take pictures so you can have something to post under Success Stories in a year. There are no vitamins or supplements to help you lose weight, but it is often recommended that you take a multivitamin if you are going on a low calorie diet to fill the gap in any nutritional deficiencies you might have.
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Just seconding @juniper210 - Start with small steps and once you make them good habits, add in something else. Start with your food. Don't try to change too much, just hit your calorie goal and start noticing stuff - What foods fill you up? What foods are too easy for you to overeat? Fix little issues one by one, one at a time. Try some new foods and new ways of cooking, but keep some of the stuff you love in there every day.
Going full throttle (by completely overhauling the diet, getting rid of all favorite foods, eating very low cal and over exercising) is one of the biggest reasons so many people fail. Slow, steady, and long-term successful is better than fast short-term success and then burning out. You will have bad days, just do better tomorrow. Be patient, think long term, and take care of yourself. Good luck :drinker:7 -
Welcome back! If you arm yourself with the right mindset, you can succeed.
Here are a few tips that might help:
1. Weight loss is all about calories in vs. calories out. You can lose weight without ever setting foot in a gym. You can sit at a desk at work all day then go home and sit on the couch and watch Netflix all night and you will STILL LOSE WEIGHT as long as you are at a caloric deficit.
2. You mention that you get burnt out - you can prevent that by simplifying your weight loss plan. You don't need to even modify your diet - you can just eat smaller quantities of food. There's no need to follow a restrictive diet, or eat salads for every meal... you can keep eating the foods you enjoy and lose weight.
3. The main difficulties you'll face are mental: lack of motivation and cravings to binge. Your determination comes from within, no amount of tips and tricks from others will help you with this. Seeing a therapist to confront your food issues can help you develop a healthier relationship with food.
4. Set yourself up with tools to succeed. You already have a MFP account, so that's the first step. The second step is buying a good digital kitchen food scale. They're around $20 on Amazon. They'll help you accurately track your calorie intake to stick to your daily calorie goal. The third step is to track every single day, every bit of food that goes into your mouth. Build the habit!
5. Calculate your TDEE and eat at a deficit. I like this TDEE calculator: http://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/ It will tell you roughly how many calories your body burns based on your activity level. At a Sedentary level, your TDEE is 3500. Simply eat fewer calories than that, and you will lose weight. You could start with a daily deficit of 500 calories - meaning you'd eat 3000 calories a day. That would result in about a pound lost per week, without changing your activity level at all. Eat 2500 calories a day to lose about 2lbs a week. Find the sweet spot where your hunger levels are manageable and you're losing weight fairly consistently. There is nothing wrong with slow and steady - you will avoid burnout that way.
Hopefully that helps, good luck to you!4 -
Welcome! If you don't mind, we just had a nice discussion about this on another thread this a.m., so I will just share it:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10581696/i-need-to-lose-a-lot-of-weight-but-i-need-some-help-as-to-where-to-begin#latest
Best takeaway is don't be in a rush. I lost about 75 lbs over the course of 5 years. I'd focus & get 30 or so off and then maintain for a while until I was ready to attack the next chunk (working on my last 40 now). Everyone wants to lose faster & be done with it, but the real victory is in acquiring the skills to keep it off. You can do it!7 -
Everything thats been said, But on top of that just remind yourself every little thing adds up. You didnt eat that cookie that you didnt even want it was just ther and easy? great thats weight you would have had if you werent being mindful. Win. You went for a walk? GREAT! another win. Didnt go back for seconds? Stayed within your calories? Win win win. Think in small wins. Every successful person here thinks in terms of wins, And their damn motivating. Keep your wins outweighing your "fails" and everyday try to get as many wins as you can. And i hate saying "fails" but in terms of what im speaking about im sure you understand, But also try not to beat yourself up, Just keep the wins more often thn the fails.5
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When I started MFP, I started with just logging. I wanted to understand how many calories were in the foods I was eating and I honestly had no idea. Once I had a couple weeks of data, I entered my goals to get a calorie goal that put me at a deficit. Since I was already comfortable with logging, it felt less overwhelming that it might have felt for me otherwise.
I didn't change anything I ate, but over time I began to notice which meals kept me feeling full and which foods had more calories but were not as satisfying. So over time, my eating style began to change just a bit. It's not very different now, I just eat more of some foods and less of some than I did before.
You don't *have* to eat vegetables to lose weight, although I certainly think they're a great source of vitamins and fiber. But you can begin without any if that is what you want. Then you can decide if you want to try some new vegetables (or ways to prepare them).
You don't have to go 100%. In fact, I've noticed that for many people, not changing too much all at once can be a great tool for long-term success.3 -
Good for you for thinking about your family and yourself long term.
Starting to move is a great place to begin. Ask you wife and child if they will go for a walk with you after dinner each day. Make it a habit, do it daily and do it together. Walk to a park for your little one to play, then walk back. Make it fun, make it family time and make it happen together.
Log your food. Make small changes. Of course vegetables are healthy, but you will lose weight just cutting back the amounts of whatever it is you normally eat.
Can you walk up and down the stairs once a day at work? Ask a co worker to join you? Park a little further away from the front door?
Make tiny steps.2 -
https://ndb.nal.usda.gov/ndb/search/list Use this to find the true facts about calories and nutrient values in foods.
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Several have told you exactly what I would say. Start slow and work at it in a way that you can live with for life. I have lost 86 pounds in a year and a half and it has been a long haul. I have learned so much along the way and it was worth the wait!
For exercise I started out walking (because I like to walk) but only 4,000 steps a day at first. I know everyone says 10,000 but like you I was very sedentary. If you don't like to walk find something you do like. I didn't even do that until I had lost about 30 pounds. You can lose weight without exercise if you want to. But you'll feel better ultimately if you find some activity and it gives you more calories!
Don't try to lose everything quickly. Be content to lose at a rate you can live with. And don't cut out all the things you like; just find a way to work the calories into your daily allowance. You can slowly incorporate veggies and healthier versions of foods you like but don't try to do it all at once. That's what worked for me. I had been overweight my entire life (I'm 60). I had done all the special diets, I had a lapband installed and removed, I tried accepting my weight. In the end there was no magic just slow steady progress and slowly I changed my lifestyle to healthier habits. You can do this! Go to the success stories board and you will be blown away by all the people who have made it. If they did it, you can too.6 -
Hi, Richard! I truly believe that small changes, done faithfully and consistently, make the biggest difference in the long run. Lots of great advice here. My "tip" to add is to make one change at a time and stick with it until it's habit or second nature before you undertake more changes. Slow and steady wins the race! Best to you!2
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You've gotten great responses already so just want to chime in and say welcome!2
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Hi Richard!
Its a long, sometimes frustrating, road. Youve got a lot of great advice here though!
I started at 333. Once you start seeing changes in your body, and your life there is no greater motivation to keep going.
Take lots of progress pictures! Even if you dont want to at the start. I like to look at mine, to keep me going.
Feel free to send a friend request if you like.3 -
We have some very knowledgeable people here. I echo everything that's bee said. I started 5 months ago with no exercise at all and just focused on food. I started just walking and built up to walking 4 miles a day. I then added jogging a little at a time. Like said earlier, just bite off a little at a time--quite literally. You would also do well to add everyone here as friends to lean on. Everyone here is very willing to help when asked. Good luck and keep us informed of your progress!2
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Welcome, like others have stated, start small. Even one less soda a day for a week is a big step - just remember one step at a time.
Also, try not to focus on what you don't like or can't do, but really look at things that you can do and change. I started with just really simple things like making extra trips to the kitchen or bathroom . . . whatever it takes to move, just a little more It adds up.
Change is amazing, we are capable of changes we can't even imagine. I don't even know how I would have reacted if someone told me, one day you will be a gym bunny, go from owning 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of sneakers to 14 pairs of jeans and 21 pairs of sneakers. That I would rather buy workout clothes over a purse . . . I never saw it coming. I will be 49 in a few days and never saw myself doing push ups or squats and working with weights, etc.. let alone liking brown rice (my first time I felt I was being punished by God). You have a wife and daughter that will support you and while sitting all day is a drag (I'm a receptionist) there are still ways to move a little more that doesn't have to be a chore. It can be easy to get distracted so logging is important and rewards can help as well. You have to figure out what will work for you, maybe even making a deal with yourself that you will do something special with your daughter or wife if you eat better for a week - things like that help give you something that is reasonable and attainable.
I wish you the best.3 -
Hi Richard! What kind of food do you like? I'm not big on veggies either, waiting for the new study to come out saying they're bad for you...but until then I fill a blender with spinach, kale, frozen berries protein powder and a banana and it's pretty good.
Do you like eggs? They're a great diet food, full of protein and keep you full for hours. If you start logging your food and just go for a reasonable deficit, like 500 calories, it's not too hard. The first four days are the worst and after a couple of weeks your body gets used to less food. I find that I have to eat a lot of protein and a good amount of fat or I'm starving. Once you start seeing the numbers on the scale go down it becomes something you want to do and the change is exciting! 100 percent start logging your food. Figure out your daily calories and hang on for four days. Lots of water and just go to bed. It gets easier, I promise!1 -
There's a lot of great advice here so most things I could say would be redundant, so I just want to say welcome to MFP and congratulations on deciding to get healthier.
My only piece of advice that might not have been mentioned: it gets easier! You're tired and hungry now, but it gets better. Once you start getting closer to a healthy weight, you feel better, you sleep better, you have more energy - just going about your day is easier! So this is the hardest part, but every healthy step makes the next step easier.
Also, this may have already been mentioned, but you don't have to eat vegetables to lose weight. As long you stick to your MFP calorie goal, your weight will come down. Vegetables might make it easier to stick to your goal though! I thought I hated vegetables, but I tried a lot of hidden vegetable recipes - cauliflower pizza, cauliflower tater tots, black bean brownies, etc. You may find a new low calorie recipe that you like. I find adding the right spices and fat free cheese makes even vegetables taste good. You may also find that your palate changes. I've tried and adjusted to so many low calorie desserts that I don't even miss the "real" thing. So just be willing to try new things - dieting doesn't have to mean just salads.3 -
Wow I'm very thankful for all the responses. I'm going to take my time and read all of them. Thank you guys/gals for supporting me on this journey.7
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Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.10
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RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
I'd be a terrible accountability buddy, but if you let us know what you did, and why you think it failed, we should be able to offer some suggestions on what to do differently this time.
I bet the vast majority have failed at least once, so you are in good company6 -
Nope. You didn’t fail.
You’re back at it. That isn’t a fail.
If you never came back? THAT would be failing.
Weight management doesn’t end. You keep going. You roll with the punches. Some of those punches might knock you out for a bit. But if you get back up and keep on going? That’s how it works.
And it gets easier over time. You start to learn what triggers you. What works. How to measure accurately. Your tastes actually change. You start eating differently. Exercising more…. Because suddenly it’s fun. Or at least not absolutely horrible.
You, Sir, have not failed. You’re still on the path. Taking your next step.
That’s winning.6 -
Okay the past is the past. You came back. You admit your failure. Now what have you learned from it? You FAIL to learn new info and how to succeed.
So my advice............WRITE DOWN a plan. Writing it down helps you to really absorb it and think about what you're trying to achieve. Make sure your calorie deficit is MODERATE so you don't frustrate yourself quickly. Post it where you can see it everyday. And then follow the routine to a tee. When it becomes routine, you don't even have to think about what to do or need much motivation. If vegetables aren't that appealing to you, then just pick the ones you do like. When it comes to burning off more calories, start by walking. 1/4 mile at first, then 1/2, then 1 mile and so on. Once you've gotten used to a little exercise, you can add in a few more exercises a little at a time. If you're CONSISTENT on a day to day basis, you will succeed. Last guy I did this with went from 360lbs to 250lbs in about a year. YOU have to really want to do this to make it happen.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
You only fail when you stop trying. You're here again aren't you?? Fresh start, maybe some new friends, new ideas?
I wasn't here your 1st time around so didn't read your original post. But here now. If you'd like a new friend, please feel free to add me to the list.
While I still struggle to not binge, I usually stay within a few pounds of where I want to be, having lost a total of about 100# from my highest(unless you count every yo-yo diet I've had then it's more like 1K) . I have to face it'll always be up and down for me. BUT this place has kept me more on the straight and narrow than anything else I've ever done in my life.
I've found tracking calories has helped the most, then comes not allowing certain foods in the house that I find too tempting. THE one hardest thing has been to control my mindset, which is a daily work in progress. No way around it, unless I can find that gotta-have-food on/off switch.
Anyways, you've already gotten tons of good advice. Add me if you'd like. And best of luck to you!!!!1 -
The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost over 189 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.
my main tips:
learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don' have to RE-LEARN how to do it later.
Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.
Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL
And lastly, you will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....
You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!
Youve got this! Take it one day at time!7 -
Smart logical helpful ^^^^^^^2
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