Pissing me off
skeeewur
Posts: 11 Member
So I've been good at weighing myself once a week and whenever it's my time to hop on the scale and I see that I've actually lost a couple pounds my girlfriend jokingly decides to get on the weight too and she keeps losing weight too. However I have been eating super healthy and counting calories while she hasn't been trying to lose weight and eats SO unhealthy. It makes me question whether or not it's worth it and it honestly makes me sad that her weight is dropping when she's overweight too but isn't trying to lose weight
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Replies
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So you are jealous because she is losing weight without putting in the same perceived effort as you are?20
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You'll often come up short when you compare yourself to other people.
Stay in your own lane.41 -
You'll make it in the long run, she won't.24
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I'm in a similiar situation with my boyfriend. I'm putting it down to main meals since we have the same and I cook so everything has been healthy. He does still have chocolate, crisps and milkshakes which i've been avoiding but he's still losing weight.
It really is unfair but I don't mind since we both need to lose weight (though I need to lose more).3 -
there was a time I lost weight unintentionally eating 1 bowl of cereal for breakfast, skipping lunch, and fast food dinner. Was working long hours. i ate like crap, wasn't trying to lose weight, but did just because the calorie math happened to work out that way. You don't have to eat healthfully, or intentionally lose weight to lose weight. in the end it's about what your bodies uses and how much extra is has to store or use from its stores. It sounds terribly unfair to those of us putting effort in, but one can, in fact, lose weight unintentionally.7
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ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?17 -
my opinions is this...
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rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?2 -
In my experience, you can lose weight and still have an unhealthy diet if you are overweight...
But if you want to get mean lean... It's all got to go11 -
ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
Because there's no reason behind it. Why should she succeed but her friend fail? :16 -
rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
Because there's no reason behind it. Why should she succeed but her friend fail? :
Because to do anything meaningful or important requires effort and consistency. Thus is life.
If I were a betting man, I would put my money on OP. The odds are against her friend.5 -
Look up "squishy fat and whooshes" - it will explain so much.2
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I get the frustration. BUT....
You'll do much better focusing on yourself and what works best for you. You're responsible for your own health.5 -
We are all different. Don't compare as aggravating as it can be. Are you exercising? Retaining water for muscle repair? Eating higher sodium foods? Etc, etc, etc.
I work my tail off in the gym and eat right and I feel like it is going slow, so slow. Don't compare...it's added stress that's keeping your eye off the prize.2 -
jessicafordy9 wrote: »I'm in a similiar situation with my boyfriend. I'm putting it down to main meals since we have the same and I cook so everything has been healthy. He does still have chocolate, crisps and milkshakes which i've been avoiding but he's still losing weight.
It really is unfair but I don't mind since we both need to lose weight (though I need to lose more).
Men tend to lose weight faster than women because they have more lean muscle.3 -
jessicafordy9 wrote: »I'm in a similiar situation with my boyfriend. I'm putting it down to main meals since we have the same and I cook so everything has been healthy. He does still have chocolate, crisps and milkshakes which i've been avoiding but he's still losing weight.
It really is unfair but I don't mind since we both need to lose weight (though I need to lose more).
Men tend to lose weight faster than women because they have more lean muscle.
And naturally higher TDEEs meaning they can more easily create a larger deficit. In theory.5 -
The same thing happened between me and husband when I first started logging and going to the gym regularly. He dropped some weight very quickly even though he wasn't exercising at all, most likely due to the fact that I cook our meals so his portions were controlled in a way they hadn't been previously. Following that initial whoosh, he has stalled, probably because he refuses to track how much he's actually eating and he's still not exercising. At the same time, I have caught up and surpassed his success, probably because I exercise regularly, am consistent and track what I'm doing instead of leaving it all to happy coincidence or luck.
It's not that I'm pleased by this or that I want husband to fail or be fat, it's that it takes a modicum of effort to maintain as ljsantos2005 alluded. If we could stay slim without paying attention to what we eat, neither of us would have gotten heavy in the first place. I understand where OP is coming from but, rather than being jealous of the easy loss husband experienced compared to my own, I am grateful that he's down a few pounds at all--any improvement is laudable.8 -
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So you are annoyed because she can just eat smaller portions of "junk" and lose weight while you feel you have to restrict/change more to lose weight?
Everyone loses weight be reducing calorie intake or burning more calories.
Some people go on restrictive eating plans and exercise a bunch and others just get smaller portions of what they usually eat and don't do much exercise.
You do you.
My dh lost 30+ lbs without calorie counting or exercising. He just consistently ate less. I couldn't do that so I had to track food and exercise.4 -
This has happened in my house too. My husband recently got complimented by a friend of ours because he was looking so trim - he's in no way overweight but has been dropping weight because I'm not ordering dominos pizza three times a week.
I think its pretty normal for both partners in a couple to either lose or gain weight together. It isn't a zero sum game. Just feel happy that she's losing weight too.0 -
If my friend succeeds at something, I'm generally happy about it. If I don't feel happy for someone when they succeed, I conclude that they're not really a friend.
If you're losing weight for any other reason than your own health or wellbeing (I include aesthetics in that), you're not likely to succeed in the long term. It can't be about anyone else, you have to be doing it for yourself, or it will come unstuck.6 -
ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
Because there's no reason behind it. Why should she succeed but her friend fail? :
Because to do anything meaningful or important requires effort and consistency. Thus is life.
If I were a betting man, I would put my money on OP. The odds are against her friend.
You really can't ever compare your level of effort, which you see from the inside, to someone else's, which you're only seeing from the outside and in little snippets. We never actually know what someone else is doing or how their current activities compare to their past habits. The other person may be working very hard in ways that aren't obvious to the OP, or her past habits may have been so bad that any change is having a significant impact. It's also true that we can lose weight just by creating a calorie deficit, so it doesn't matter whether the other person is eating junk or not. Spending too much time focusing on what other people are doing just takes your focus away from yourself and your own path.
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OP, accurate calorie counting is what's needed for weight loss. That's it. Eating clean doesn't work. I made my way up to 275lbs eating clean vegetarian.
It's BS, that's why. You don't know anything about them as individuals.... and OP is displaying their jealousy.ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
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cerise_noir wrote: »OP, accurate calorie counting is what's needed for weight loss. That's it. Eating clean doesn't work. I made my way up to 275lbs eating clean vegetarian.
It's BS, that's why.ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
Explain how?2 -
ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »ijsantos2005 wrote: »You'll make it in the long run, she won't.
who says?
I said it. Why?
Because there's no reason behind it. Why should she succeed but her friend fail? :
Because to do anything meaningful or important requires effort and consistency. Thus is life.
If I were a betting man, I would put my money on OP. The odds are against her friend.
You really can't ever compare your level of effort, which you see from the inside, to someone else's, which you're only seeing from the outside and in little snippets. We never actually know what someone else is doing or how their current activities compare to their past habits. The other person may be working very hard in ways that aren't obvious to the OP, or her past habits may have been so bad that any change is having a significant impact. It's also true that we can lose weight just by creating a calorie deficit, so it doesn't matter whether the other person is eating junk or not. Spending too much time focusing on what other people are doing just takes your focus away from yourself and your own path.
Someone that has goals and a plan are vastly more likely to succeed than someone that doesn't. There's nothing to argue here.3 -
cerise_noir wrote: »...accurate calorie counting is what's needed for weight loss. That's it.
I'm curious how you reconcile this statement with the hard time you are giving ljsantos2005 for saying pretty much the same thing? Either calorie counting is the key to success and ljsantos2005 is betting on the right horse by supposing that the person counting calories will have the long term success of the two in the relationship OR it is not true that "...accurate calorie counting is what's needed for weight loss. That's it."2 -
Weigh yourself when you are alone and don't make a big deal about it. Problem solved.
Or if she is really your friend, tell her you'd rather not be comparing weights as its a sore spot for you. And if she really is your friend, be happy that she is having some seemingly easy success.7 -
I suppose you're frustrated because it feels like you are losing weight slowly. Keep doing what you're doing and don't give up. You won't succeed if you quit, guaranteed.3
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So I've been good at weighing myself once a week and whenever it's my time to hop on the scale and I see that I've actually lost a couple pounds my girlfriend jokingly decides to get on the weight too and she keeps losing weight too. However I have been eating super healthy and counting calories while she hasn't been trying to lose weight and eats SO unhealthy. It makes me question whether or not it's worth it and it honestly makes me sad that her weight is dropping when she's overweight too but isn't trying to lose weight
In terms of weight loss it doesn't matter what you eat, or that you're eating 'healthy' (whatever that even means since it's a subjective term), but that you're at the correct calorie deficit for your weight loss goals.
As for the rest of your post, yeah not even going to go there
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