We broke up because...
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she was always trying to wax my mustache0
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This content has been removed.
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He always bit me0
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She didn't like little playful nibbles0
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She couldn't differentiate between playful nibbles and blood thirsty bites0
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A little blood and she freaked out!0
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She whipped my back till I started bleeding0
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She wanted me to be a Dominatrix in the boudoir1
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She didn't like when I hid snacks in my chins0
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She couldn't figure out a way to carry me on her chin0
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he want to go out all the time0
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Was a night owl?0
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He refused a contract extension...
#FreeAgent0 -
His wife didn't like me0
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She never came home0
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She always wanted me home to tend to her constant needs0
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She didn't like the parties I used to take her to0
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She would always want to go to parties in just her bra0
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Would not share the cupcakes0
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He got mad when I stored cupcakes in my folds , hated the frosting coming off1
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Kept eating the filling out of the cupcakes then putting them back.0
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Watched star trek when it was time to be frisky0
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I'm giving ya all I can, Captain... (Bad Trek reference)0
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Gave everything he had to his ex...nothing left in the tank0
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She said I looked like a tank0
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Fish. Too many fish0
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She wouldn't make me breakfast for dinner0
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She stole my idea and made it hers!0
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She wouldn't teach me how to dance0
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