I no longer have anything to motivate me, but I haven't reached my goal weight.
PrincessTinyheart
Posts: 679 Member
I've still got at least 20 lbs until I reach my goal weight, but lately I haven't had the motivation to continue working at it. I think it's because I don't have an attainable goal that excites me anymore.
In the beginning, I wanted to have a little more endurance when I go for long walks. I achieved that. Then I wanted to be able to buy things at Victoria`s Secret. I can do that now.
These goals gave me a small sense of satisfaction, but it's worn off.. I no longer have anything to keep me going and it really saddens me. I'm not athletically inclined so fitness goals don't inspire me - exercise is simply a chore that must be done to stay healthy. I have no burning desire to do 20 burpees in a minute or lift my own weight. My health is already quite good so there's no health goals to achieve. I'm married so I'm not shooting for some big sexy "coming out" night where I put on a little dress, go out and meet guys
I do want to reach my goal but I'm losing steam fast and don't know how to get it back. I've even tried a rewards system for when I reach small goals, but it's not much of a reward if you have to buy it yourself... and if I have the money to do that, what's to stop me from buying stuff for myself anyway?
Does anyone else deal with this?
In the beginning, I wanted to have a little more endurance when I go for long walks. I achieved that. Then I wanted to be able to buy things at Victoria`s Secret. I can do that now.
These goals gave me a small sense of satisfaction, but it's worn off.. I no longer have anything to keep me going and it really saddens me. I'm not athletically inclined so fitness goals don't inspire me - exercise is simply a chore that must be done to stay healthy. I have no burning desire to do 20 burpees in a minute or lift my own weight. My health is already quite good so there's no health goals to achieve. I'm married so I'm not shooting for some big sexy "coming out" night where I put on a little dress, go out and meet guys
I do want to reach my goal but I'm losing steam fast and don't know how to get it back. I've even tried a rewards system for when I reach small goals, but it's not much of a reward if you have to buy it yourself... and if I have the money to do that, what's to stop me from buying stuff for myself anyway?
Does anyone else deal with this?
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Replies
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Pick another goal.
You've listed a couple "fitness goals" which wouldn't even appear on my list of things to do (in fact, I refuse to do burpees) but those things are just a drop in the bucket of possibilities.
You have the endurance to do long walks ... now join a hiking club and do some hikes with them. Or maybe start training for the local half marathon.
What about dancing? If you like doing that ... sign up for lessons.
It's coming into winter in the northern hemisphere ... how about cross-country skiing, snowshoeing or skating?
How about combining travel with fitness. Have you ever had the desire to climb Machu Picchu, for example?3 -
I've never had the desire to do any of the things you listed, unfortunately. Even if I did, I don't have the money to travel and I live in a place that gets very little snow.
I do bellydance but I was doing that long before I lost weight.
For some reason I'm just not motivated by the idea of taking on sports or physical activities that challenge me. I don't know why. I guess because there's not really a point or goal behind it3 -
Save money to travel then. That's a goal. I'd suggest getting out of your comfort zone. You only live once.6
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But, see, that's the thing... I am looking for something that I can readily implement into my life. If I want to travel, I can do that regardless of my weight. Getting to maybe travel someday doesn't inspire me to lose weight now I'm not trying to be argumentative... I'm just frustrated with myself because I don't get inspired by the things that seem to inspire others and can't find my way there. 3
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gamerbabe14 wrote: »Save money to travel then. That's a goal. I'd suggest getting out of your comfort zone. You only live once.
Absolutely!!
Also here ... have a look over this list. Does anything appeal to you? Maybe just give some stuff a try ...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sports
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I guess I am not good at explaining myself
I don't enjoy sports. I hate competitivess, against myself or with others. It's great for a lot of other people, but not me. It just gives me a lot of frustration and anxiety. I get the opposite of an adrenaline rush.2 -
What do you like doing?0
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No idea if it's feasible for you—depends maybe if you live in a city, suburb, or in the countryside, for example—but I do stuff like walk to work and appointments rather than take the bus or subway up to, say, an hour away on foot, and just plan that time into my schedule—that includes planning in the time in to stop sweating in the ladies room before I have to actually meet whoever I have the appointment with ). I also walk to my grocery shopping by, instead of doing a big weekly shop I go a few times a week on my way home from work. A little cardio, a little weights in the form of lifting and carrying my one or two small bags of shopping home. My food is fresher too.
It's not a 'give me a goal' answer in the way you seemed to be looking for, but then again you've shot down everything people have tried to suggest so far. My suggestion works for me specifically because I have always been averse to the idea of 'exercising for the sake of exercising', so the best way for me to do it is to put it in the form of 'actual' life activities. You said you're looking for something to integrate into your normal routine. On the other hand, none of us here have a clear idea of what you like and don't like, and what is feasible for your lifestyle (not that I'm suggesting you should have given us your full bio) so we're all just taking our best guesses here.2 -
So maybe you're just done losing weight? How did you chose your goal weight? It sounds like you've lost the weight you want to lose and you're happy with what you've achieved.
Why not switch to maintenance for a while? You'll need to eat at maintenance eventually anyway so view it as practise. A break may reignite your desire to keep going (which is what happens when I take a diet break) or you may just be done.14 -
So, my question is, what caused you to pick your goal weight in the first place? Was there some specific reason you wanted to be that weight? If you have the level of fitness you were trying for and you look the way you were trying to look, is it possible the reason you aren't motivated is because you're done?
If your answer is, I'm not done losing weight because I still am not / have not / cannot X, then X is your motivation.4 -
So why do you have your goal weight at 20lbs lower? Is it a BMI/healthy weight thing? Are the health markers that go with that important to you?
Have you spoken with your doctor and got a full checkup and panel to see if there's room for improvement healthwise?0 -
You say you still want to get to your goal weight.... why?1
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If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet. 4
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If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet.
Yeah, maybe that's it. I dunno. I think part of it is that I look around me and see that so many people are so strongly motivated by these super-healthy, super-active things and they seem to want to get in shape or achieve a specific goal to accomplish those things and I just can't relate to it... and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
There really isn't anything my husband could buy me at this point that I would truly want enough to lose another 20 lbs.
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Would it motivate you to hit a different level on the BMI chart? Although the chart itself is a bit dumb, I was still super-excited when I moved out of "overweight" into "normal."0
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Sometimes we need to look outside ourselves for motivation. Maybe some form of volunteering that would draw on your weight-loss success would be a good reward for yourself?1
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet.
Yeah, maybe that's it. I dunno. I think part of it is that I look around me and see that so many people are so strongly motivated by these super-healthy, super-active things and they seem to want to get in shape or achieve a specific goal to accomplish those things and I just can't relate to it... and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
There really isn't anything my husband could buy me at this point that I would truly want enough to lose another 20 lbs.
Do you want to lose another 20 lbs or are you happy at the weight you are?
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No idea if it's feasible for you—depends maybe if you live in a city, suburb, or in the countryside, for example—but I do stuff like walk to work and appointments rather than take the bus or subway up to, say, an hour away on foot, and just plan that time into my schedule—that includes planning in the time in to stop sweating in the ladies room before I have to actually meet whoever I have the appointment with ). I also walk to my grocery shopping by, instead of doing a big weekly shop I go a few times a week on my way home from work. A little cardio, a little weights in the form of lifting and carrying my one or two small bags of shopping home. My food is fresher too.
It's not a 'give me a goal' answer in the way you seemed to be looking for, but then again you've shot down everything people have tried to suggest so far. My suggestion works for me specifically because I have always been averse to the idea of 'exercising for the sake of exercising', so the best way for me to do it is to put it in the form of 'actual' life activities. You said you're looking for something to integrate into your normal routine. On the other hand, none of us here have a clear idea of what you like and don't like, and what is feasible for your lifestyle (not that I'm suggesting you should have given us your full bio) so we're all just taking our best guesses here.
I understand... I was in someone of a depressive mood when I wrote my original post so I was reticent to give a whole lot of information about myself and who/what I'm about. I'm still there to an extent, but not as severely.
I do walk to different places whenever I can. Unfortunately my work is 30+ miles from my home, and it's all interstate, so walking or riding a bike to work is not feasible.
I think that, subconsciously, I'm shooting for some pie-in-the-sky Instagram inspiration in big sparkly font where one would actually never exist, given the fact that this is the real world and all that 2 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
Maybe on some level you you are assessing the continued effort and sacrifice it will take to reach goal weight and when you compare it to the reward of attaining goal weight you believe it isn't worth it.
That doesn't sound dysfunctional. That sound rationale. The benefit should justify the cost etc.
Only you can truly decide if it's worth it. If not you can devote your time to other things that can make your life full. Dance. Learn to fly a plane. Travel. Watch the sunset in Santorini while sipping cocktails. Read some philosophy. Paint. Volunteer at an animal sanctuary.
Healthy body, healthy mind.
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I did a healthy wage challenge a few years ago. I had six months to get to my goal weight. If I lost the bet, I'd forfeit the money I put up at the beginning. But I made my goal to lose 30 pounds in 6 months and won. I can't remember if I put up $250 or $500, but I do remember I got back $1000. That's a lot to put down to begin with, but it's a hell of a rate of return and if money is your motivator, it's an idea.3
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Are you happy with where you're currently at? Why do you say another 20 Lbs...what's the reason behind that other than some arbitrary number? I personally don't believe in having some random/arbitrary number as a goal...I never did...I just lost weight until I was happy with where I was.
Would it be nice to look like an underwear model? Sure...am I willing to put in the kind of effort that is necessary from a dietary and exercise standpoint to get there...*kitten* no...2 -
InkAndApples wrote: »So maybe you're just done losing weight? How did you chose your goal weight? It sounds like you've lost the weight you want to lose and you're happy with what you've achieved.
Why not switch to maintenance for a while? You'll need to eat at maintenance eventually anyway so view it as practise. A break may reignite your desire to keep going (which is what happens when I take a diet break) or you may just be done.
I'm on the fence about whether or not I'm happy at this point. Technically I'm still slightly overweight... I'm right on the cusp between normal and overweight. I'm shooting for another 20 lbs because that's what I weighed several years ago. It's a weight that is still within normal/healthy weight and one that I've reached in the past. I'm kind of disappointed in myself right now because not too long ago I had this intrinsic motivation to keep going... and I think it was because I was motivated by this idea of what I imagined I would look like and how different my life would be. Now, after evaluating some things, I am fairly certain that I was living on delusional thoughts and it was at that point that I started to lose steam.0 -
rheddmobile wrote: »So, my question is, what caused you to pick your goal weight in the first place? Was there some specific reason you wanted to be that weight? If you have the level of fitness you were trying for and you look the way you were trying to look, is it possible the reason you aren't motivated is because you're done.
I picked that weight because I've been that weight in the past and it's well within the normal range. I don't like to think that I'm done at this point, but I'm stuck in this mindset where I can't get myself to move forward... I am really not sure why. That's what I'm struggling with at this point.
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Wow. This post is like looking straight into my own head. I wish I had a solution for you, because I'm stuck in the same rut. I still have 70 pounds to lose, but I can shop in regular stores now and am more fit than I've been since my teens. Other than being obese my health is fine. I know shooting for a healthy weight should be my motivation, but it is not inspiring me. I've basically been maintaining or losing and gaining the same ten pounds since March.
Fitness goals are lousy for weight loss. They are too easy to attain with excess weight, because they are not size related. I do have a goal of looking good in clothes from Bebe, one of the few stores I am still too big for, but it's not enough to inspire me to lose.
I wish I had an answer for you, but all I have is empathy for your situation.3 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »rheddmobile wrote: »So, my question is, what caused you to pick your goal weight in the first place? Was there some specific reason you wanted to be that weight? If you have the level of fitness you were trying for and you look the way you were trying to look, is it possible the reason you aren't motivated is because you're done.
I picked that weight because I've been that weight in the past and it's well within the normal range. I don't like to think that I'm done at this point, but I'm stuck in this mindset where I can't get myself to move forward... I am really not sure why. That's what I'm struggling with at this point.
So have a few weeks or months at maintenance...?0 -
jennybearlv wrote: »Wow. This post is like looking straight into my own head. I wish I had a solution for you, because I'm stuck in the same rut. I still have 70 pounds to lose, but I can shop in regular stores now and am more fit than I've been since my teens. Other than being obese my health is fine. I know shooting for a healthy weight should be my motivation, but it is not inspiring me. I've basically been maintaining or losing and gaining the same ten pounds since March.
Fitness goals are lousy for weight loss. They are too easy to attain with excess weight, because they are not size related. I do have a goal of looking good in clothes from Bebe, one of the few stores I am still too big for, but it's not enough to inspire me to lose.
I wish I had an answer for you, but all I have is empathy for your situation.
I'm glad I'm not the only one... and I almost feel like something of a failure because I see all of these other people that are all like "Get out and climb something! Build that six pack! Make a chart of goals and hit ALL. OF. THE. GOALS. Kill it kill it kill it!!", and that just makes me want to crawl into the fetal position, LOL. I feel like there's something lacking in me because I am not this fierce grrl taking selfies in the mirror and posting to Instragram But I still want some kind of inspiration to help me go further...
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Hmmm, very interesting thread here.
My first thought is, you cannot live in the past!! You are a new version of yourself as you are today! You need to look into yourself now and determine what you want for the future and let go of the past.
Just to share....I'm not a "selfie, social media" person either. I work out for myself! My husband and children love me just the way I am. I desire to lose weight because I feel better, my emotions are better and my overall confidence is better. I want to be healthy for ME!
It sounds like you may have something beyond fitness unmotivating you. Just remember we have one life to live and only the opportunities we choose to take to advance our lives!
Hang in there, maybe inspire yourself by taking a weekend retreat to pamper yourself for who you are
Good Luck!! 0 -
If you can't move forward then stand still for a while until you decide you want to move again (or not). There is nothing wrong with that. Take a break from losing, focus on not gaining, and practice maintenance for a bit. There will be a point where you decide if you want to lose more or not, time spent practicing maintenance is not time wasted. That will give you another goal to focus on for now which will be very important to how your weight behaves in the future.5
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »jennybearlv wrote: »Wow. This post is like looking straight into my own head. I wish I had a solution for you, because I'm stuck in the same rut. I still have 70 pounds to lose, but I can shop in regular stores now and am more fit than I've been since my teens. Other than being obese my health is fine. I know shooting for a healthy weight should be my motivation, but it is not inspiring me. I've basically been maintaining or losing and gaining the same ten pounds since March.
Fitness goals are lousy for weight loss. They are too easy to attain with excess weight, because they are not size related. I do have a goal of looking good in clothes from Bebe, one of the few stores I am still too big for, but it's not enough to inspire me to lose.
I wish I had an answer for you, but all I have is empathy for your situation.
I'm glad I'm not the only one... and I almost feel like something of a failure because I see all of these other people that are all like "Get out and climb something! Build that six pack! Make a chart of goals and hit ALL. OF. THE. GOALS. Kill it kill it kill it!!", and that just makes me want to crawl into the fetal position, LOL. I feel like there's something lacking in me because I am not this fierce grrl taking selfies in the mirror and posting to Instragram But I still want some kind of inspiration to help me go further...
I stay the *kitten* off most social media. Everybody posts their goals achieved, nobody posts that entire cake they just ate by themselves. That's why I like the MFP forums. It's a good mix of Success Stories to inspire and posts from people that are really struggling to keep it real.8
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