I no longer have anything to motivate me, but I haven't reached my goal weight.
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PrincessTinyheart
Posts: 679 Member
I've still got at least 20 lbs until I reach my goal weight, but lately I haven't had the motivation to continue working at it. I think it's because I don't have an attainable goal that excites me anymore.
In the beginning, I wanted to have a little more endurance when I go for long walks. I achieved that. Then I wanted to be able to buy things at Victoria`s Secret. I can do that now.
These goals gave me a small sense of satisfaction, but it's worn off.. I no longer have anything to keep me going and it really saddens me. I'm not athletically inclined so fitness goals don't inspire me - exercise is simply a chore that must be done to stay healthy. I have no burning desire to do 20 burpees in a minute or lift my own weight. My health is already quite good so there's no health goals to achieve. I'm married so I'm not shooting for some big sexy "coming out" night where I put on a little dress, go out and meet guys
I do want to reach my goal but I'm losing steam fast and don't know how to get it back. I've even tried a rewards system for when I reach small goals, but it's not much of a reward if you have to buy it yourself... and if I have the money to do that, what's to stop me from buying stuff for myself anyway?
Does anyone else deal with this?
In the beginning, I wanted to have a little more endurance when I go for long walks. I achieved that. Then I wanted to be able to buy things at Victoria`s Secret. I can do that now.
These goals gave me a small sense of satisfaction, but it's worn off.. I no longer have anything to keep me going and it really saddens me. I'm not athletically inclined so fitness goals don't inspire me - exercise is simply a chore that must be done to stay healthy. I have no burning desire to do 20 burpees in a minute or lift my own weight. My health is already quite good so there's no health goals to achieve. I'm married so I'm not shooting for some big sexy "coming out" night where I put on a little dress, go out and meet guys
I do want to reach my goal but I'm losing steam fast and don't know how to get it back. I've even tried a rewards system for when I reach small goals, but it's not much of a reward if you have to buy it yourself... and if I have the money to do that, what's to stop me from buying stuff for myself anyway?
Does anyone else deal with this?
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Replies
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Pick another goal.
You've listed a couple "fitness goals" which wouldn't even appear on my list of things to do (in fact, I refuse to do burpees) but those things are just a drop in the bucket of possibilities.
You have the endurance to do long walks ... now join a hiking club and do some hikes with them. Or maybe start training for the local half marathon.
What about dancing? If you like doing that ... sign up for lessons.
It's coming into winter in the northern hemisphere ... how about cross-country skiing, snowshoeing or skating?
How about combining travel with fitness. Have you ever had the desire to climb Machu Picchu, for example?3 -
I've never had the desire to do any of the things you listed, unfortunately. Even if I did, I don't have the money to travel and I live in a place that gets very little snow.
I do bellydance but I was doing that long before I lost weight.
For some reason I'm just not motivated by the idea of taking on sports or physical activities that challenge me. I don't know why. I guess because there's not really a point or goal behind it3 -
Save money to travel then. That's a goal. I'd suggest getting out of your comfort zone. You only live once.6
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But, see, that's the thing... I am looking for something that I can readily implement into my life. If I want to travel, I can do that regardless of my weight. Getting to maybe travel someday doesn't inspire me to lose weight now I'm not trying to be argumentative... I'm just frustrated with myself because I don't get inspired by the things that seem to inspire others and can't find my way there. 3
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gamerbabe14 wrote: »Save money to travel then. That's a goal. I'd suggest getting out of your comfort zone. You only live once.
Absolutely!!
Also here ... have a look over this list. Does anything appeal to you? Maybe just give some stuff a try ...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sports
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I guess I am not good at explaining myself
I don't enjoy sports. I hate competitivess, against myself or with others. It's great for a lot of other people, but not me. It just gives me a lot of frustration and anxiety. I get the opposite of an adrenaline rush.2 -
What do you like doing?0
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No idea if it's feasible for you—depends maybe if you live in a city, suburb, or in the countryside, for example—but I do stuff like walk to work and appointments rather than take the bus or subway up to, say, an hour away on foot, and just plan that time into my schedule—that includes planning in the time in to stop sweating in the ladies room before I have to actually meet whoever I have the appointment with ). I also walk to my grocery shopping by, instead of doing a big weekly shop I go a few times a week on my way home from work. A little cardio, a little weights in the form of lifting and carrying my one or two small bags of shopping home. My food is fresher too.
It's not a 'give me a goal' answer in the way you seemed to be looking for, but then again you've shot down everything people have tried to suggest so far. My suggestion works for me specifically because I have always been averse to the idea of 'exercising for the sake of exercising', so the best way for me to do it is to put it in the form of 'actual' life activities. You said you're looking for something to integrate into your normal routine. On the other hand, none of us here have a clear idea of what you like and don't like, and what is feasible for your lifestyle (not that I'm suggesting you should have given us your full bio) so we're all just taking our best guesses here.2 -
So maybe you're just done losing weight? How did you chose your goal weight? It sounds like you've lost the weight you want to lose and you're happy with what you've achieved.
Why not switch to maintenance for a while? You'll need to eat at maintenance eventually anyway so view it as practise. A break may reignite your desire to keep going (which is what happens when I take a diet break) or you may just be done.14 -
So, my question is, what caused you to pick your goal weight in the first place? Was there some specific reason you wanted to be that weight? If you have the level of fitness you were trying for and you look the way you were trying to look, is it possible the reason you aren't motivated is because you're done?
If your answer is, I'm not done losing weight because I still am not / have not / cannot X, then X is your motivation.4 -
So why do you have your goal weight at 20lbs lower? Is it a BMI/healthy weight thing? Are the health markers that go with that important to you?
Have you spoken with your doctor and got a full checkup and panel to see if there's room for improvement healthwise?0 -
You say you still want to get to your goal weight.... why?1
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If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet. 4
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If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet.
Yeah, maybe that's it. I dunno. I think part of it is that I look around me and see that so many people are so strongly motivated by these super-healthy, super-active things and they seem to want to get in shape or achieve a specific goal to accomplish those things and I just can't relate to it... and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
There really isn't anything my husband could buy me at this point that I would truly want enough to lose another 20 lbs.
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Would it motivate you to hit a different level on the BMI chart? Although the chart itself is a bit dumb, I was still super-excited when I moved out of "overweight" into "normal."0
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Sometimes we need to look outside ourselves for motivation. Maybe some form of volunteering that would draw on your weight-loss success would be a good reward for yourself?1
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet.
Yeah, maybe that's it. I dunno. I think part of it is that I look around me and see that so many people are so strongly motivated by these super-healthy, super-active things and they seem to want to get in shape or achieve a specific goal to accomplish those things and I just can't relate to it... and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
There really isn't anything my husband could buy me at this point that I would truly want enough to lose another 20 lbs.
Do you want to lose another 20 lbs or are you happy at the weight you are?
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No idea if it's feasible for you—depends maybe if you live in a city, suburb, or in the countryside, for example—but I do stuff like walk to work and appointments rather than take the bus or subway up to, say, an hour away on foot, and just plan that time into my schedule—that includes planning in the time in to stop sweating in the ladies room before I have to actually meet whoever I have the appointment with ). I also walk to my grocery shopping by, instead of doing a big weekly shop I go a few times a week on my way home from work. A little cardio, a little weights in the form of lifting and carrying my one or two small bags of shopping home. My food is fresher too.
It's not a 'give me a goal' answer in the way you seemed to be looking for, but then again you've shot down everything people have tried to suggest so far. My suggestion works for me specifically because I have always been averse to the idea of 'exercising for the sake of exercising', so the best way for me to do it is to put it in the form of 'actual' life activities. You said you're looking for something to integrate into your normal routine. On the other hand, none of us here have a clear idea of what you like and don't like, and what is feasible for your lifestyle (not that I'm suggesting you should have given us your full bio) so we're all just taking our best guesses here.
I understand... I was in someone of a depressive mood when I wrote my original post so I was reticent to give a whole lot of information about myself and who/what I'm about. I'm still there to an extent, but not as severely.
I do walk to different places whenever I can. Unfortunately my work is 30+ miles from my home, and it's all interstate, so walking or riding a bike to work is not feasible.
I think that, subconsciously, I'm shooting for some pie-in-the-sky Instagram inspiration in big sparkly font where one would actually never exist, given the fact that this is the real world and all that 2 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
Maybe on some level you you are assessing the continued effort and sacrifice it will take to reach goal weight and when you compare it to the reward of attaining goal weight you believe it isn't worth it.
That doesn't sound dysfunctional. That sound rationale. The benefit should justify the cost etc.
Only you can truly decide if it's worth it. If not you can devote your time to other things that can make your life full. Dance. Learn to fly a plane. Travel. Watch the sunset in Santorini while sipping cocktails. Read some philosophy. Paint. Volunteer at an animal sanctuary.
Healthy body, healthy mind.
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