I no longer have anything to motivate me, but I haven't reached my goal weight.
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »I had a sudden epiphany a few minutes ago...
I remember seeing some women at an outdoor festival doing pole dancing routines and thought it looked really awesome and a lot of fun. They teach a class not far from my house... I wonder if this could be a motivator for me? It's not competitive, it's a solo endeavor and allows for improvement and growth, and it looks like it would be a good upper body workout.
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Yes! Pole is an awesome workout (I'm assuming based on other aerial experience as I've never actually tried it). You should take a trial class at least! OR...sign up for a full session so that you feel obligated to go. If you really like it, it might motivate you to work on your upper body strength so that you can do cool tricks.
Oh, another option to think of is self defense. I used to take Krav Maga and loved it. Not only is it a great workout, but knowing how to kick *kitten* as a woman is never a bad thing.0 -
There are two things I can think of to motivate you. 1. If you are truly overweight then think about the damage carrying around that extra weight will do to your body. For me this works like this: I'm 55 but my children tell me I will not have grandchildren for another 10 years. I really want to be able to enjoy my grand children so I need to maintain my weight loss and keep active. 2. There was a post on here a while back titled "What is you Why?" There were some really great reasons listed there.
If none of that helps you might just need to maintain for a few months and then pick it back up. I wish you happiness in your journey.
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I am at a point in my life where I'm trying to discover who I am but not sure if I'm happy with what I'm finding out. Sadly, I'm 45, not 15. I'm supposed to have all of this figured out by now
but instead I seem to be regressing. This really resonated with me.[/quote]
This might be part of the issue - we all do such a good job of hiding our struggles from everyone else that you think you should have it all figured out. NO ONE DOES! We're all just doing the best we can, figuring it out as we go. Our lives change, our bodies change, our knowledge changes, our opinions and beliefs can change, no one should think they have it ALL figured out. We're constantly changing & reassessing, so what worked 10 or 20 years ago might not be the right fit this time around. I'm also sure all of us have dealt with feeling inadequate at times when we feel like we don't have it all settled. We need to give ourselves a break.
I like the idea of you taking a maintenance break, even if it's just a week or two. I've had depressed periods of my life, and it's difficult to see past the depression or sadness to get to solutions. Give yourself time to process the emotions, and see if you can turn off your inner Debbie Downer and consciously work on being more gentle with yourself, and focusing on your accomplishments. Maybe with a more positive, or at least less internally judgmental mindset, you might get a new perspective and find a new sense of purpose on your path to a healthier you.2 -
Maybe you need to slow down your efforts. For me, the process of losing weight is only marginally different from maintaining. Granted, I endeavour to lose very slowly. You're still going to need to pay attention to all the things you paid attention to while losing. For me that was things like eating more protein and more fruits/veggies than I did previously, quantity obviously, and enough cardio that my mood stays up and I sleep at night. If you were to stop now, what would be your motivation to not fall into habits that result in regaining?0
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »I had a sudden epiphany a few minutes ago...
I remember seeing some women at an outdoor festival doing pole dancing routines and thought it looked really awesome and a lot of fun. They teach a class not far from my house... I wonder if this could be a motivator for me? It's not competitive, it's a solo endeavor and allows for improvement and growth, and it looks like it would be a good upper body workout.
?????
I think that sounds like a great thing to try and you are right in that it is not competitive but it would give you a real sense of accomplishment. In the end, you have nothing to lose in having a go and seeing how you like it. It is also quite artistic in its own sense but at the same time would require a level of concentration. I would be interested to hear how you get on should you take this path.
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I see a bunch of smart people have already suggested what I was going to.
Change your goal. Forget the last 20. Find your fit where you are. I sign up for charity runs. Find something more challenging next time. I prefer fitness goals because they help me do more stuff, and that is something glorious I got out of my weight loss. I want to keep doing cool stuff.
Follow your heart in to the pole dancing.1 -
You mentioned you don't find Zumba music interesting but you do like bellydancing - I've been doing Bollywood inspired Zumba. There's a big difference! Check it out, it's possible there are already routines to some music you might enjoy. Or just do what I do and dance around imitating movie stars.
Pole dancing sounds awesome!
Hope you have fun, whatever you decide to do. Fitness, in order to have lasting effects, has to be a permanent lifestyle change, so it really should be one that makes you happy.
One last thought - my husband read me an article about happiness the other day. Apparently researchers found that when people achieve a goal because they feel compelled to do it, it doesn't trigger the same reward system in the brain as doing it because they chose to do it. Knowing this helped me understand why I felt so trapped by working out and controlling my diet - I have to do it in order to control my blood glucose, because I'm a diabetic. But then I realized, there are plenty of diabetics who don't work out or control their diets. They take all the meds, they eat all the foods, they have terrible complications, they lose their feet or their vision or die of heart disease. I know people like this in my life - one is a close friend. In fact supposedly more than 80% of diabetics don't have their blood glucose properly controlled. So controlling my diabetes is indeed something I choose to do. I don't have to be healthy. Plenty of people choose not to be. But I want to be, and I'm working for it. Reminding myself of this is helping so far. I feel less trapped and more able to keep going long term.5 -
You may not be motivated you just may have reached if you want to call it a burnout phase. If you're happy where you are now why don't you take a break maintain and see how that goes.
It took me 8 months to lose approximately 80 lb I've been maintaining that for approximately 10 + months. I decided to take the summer off. And enjoy myself normally I go to the gym four to five times a week but I guess I just got burned out. I'm also an avid golfer but I've had no one to play this year so I haven't.
What I have decided to do is sit on the beach listen to the radio drink a couple beers and hang around with my friends. I'm starting to get the bug back to hit the gym again and I think I'm going to go back no I know I'm going to go back beginning of September.
Something else remember weight is just a number. It's more important how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror and if you're happy with Where You Are don't worry about the number1 -
I want to thank all of you for your patience and support. I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday... I went to my bellydance class tonight and that helped cheer me up. I'm excited about exploring the pole dancing class too..and now I want to work on losing the last 20 lbs so it will be easier to spin around... and I'll look better doing it :-)10
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jennybearlv wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »I can understand not being motivated by sports. It's important to understand that not everyone has the same interests. In fact I understand it very well because I exercise for the food and for my mental health, that's it. I enjoy the high running gives me, but I have no plan or desire to run a marathon. I hate lifting so I don't lift. I believe nothing is wrong with me for not posting my instagram fitness photos or facebook updates with my fitness endeavors, in fact I don't even have an instagram account. I'm just not like some people, and some people are just not like me. That's how being human works. The sooner you accept that there is nothing wrong with you the sooner you will reach that head calm about who you are and what YOU want to do. Just do the things you enjoy, and lose weight if you want, don't lose it if you don't, or delay that decision altogether until you're in a more suitable position to make it.
For what it's worth, I had a moment where I was just not willing to continue losing. I starting losing for my blood sugar and once that was sorted I was just not as keen on continuing, so I took a break. I was still obese, so I knew I needed to lose more, but I figured stressing over that tug-o-war between what I knew I needed to do and what I was willing to do was not worth it and was not going to get me results anyway. I maintained for a long time (about 8 months) before it clicked in my brain again and I decided to continue losing. I do not regret it for one second. If anything, I learned a lot about maintenance and it has given me hope that I am capable of maintaining and boosted my confidence. Even after that break my loss has been slow and intermittent. I lose a bit, maintain a bit, gain (on purpose) a bit, and in the end I'm making overall progress. I used to scold myself for not losing 100 lbs in a year like some success stories here, but I just had to accept that I'm not someone else and I'm happy with how I am and how I'm doing things. I'm in no rush, so any progress is progress. I'm just living life like I normally would at this point, with weight loss being part of it sometimes and other times not.
Thank you for this post. This may not be my thread, but I am so glad I've read everything here. I've been telling myself the story that I had this awesome six months, then haven't been able to get back on that wagon for five months. Really demotivating. Looking at the last five months and realizing I've maintained the same weight within ten pounds is really amazing. I think I need to just keep doing what I'm doing and be ready when my motivation to lose shows up again. I see lots of success stories of people losing over 100 pounds a year and think that should be me. But, I also see success stories where people lose their weight over many years and I think I need to recognize how impressive those accomplishments are as well.
I'm glad this was helpful. Sometimes we're just too hard on ourselves and we fail to recognize how awesome we are. Having maintained for 5 months you've already accomplished a lot, and whenever you're ready to lose again all you'll have to do is continue where you left off. It has taken me nearly 5 years to lose what I've lost so far (120 lbs). That involved one major uncontrolled regain of about 40 pounds which I had to lose again, but even that I feel was awesome because I have been able to learn what things contributed to it and was able to develop countermeasures which work brilliantly now. The only regains now are deliberate, very small, and controlled, mostly during holidays where I choose to gain a bit. Give yourself the credit you deserve.2 -
So why do it then? If you are happy where you are, move to maintainence for a while and decide if you like it. Nothing saying your current goal has to be the same place you originally chose, and that you can't decide you like your body the way it is.0
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »I want to thank all of you for your patience and support. I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday... I went to my bellydance class tonight and that helped cheer me up. I'm excited about exploring the pole dancing class too..and now I want to work on losing the last 20 lbs so it will be easier to spin around... and I'll look better doing it :-)
Excellent!
And for me, aside from training for my cycling events and being able to climb (both cycling and hiking) up mountains, being lighter just feels better and allows me to do more. When I'm lighter I feel like I'm expending less energy doing simple things like dashing down to the photocopier or running for the bus or zipping through the grocery store or whatever. Plus my clothes hang better ... not necessarily that special dress ... my clothes in general fit better. I can reach into my wardrobe and grab a dress or skirt or blouse to wear to work, and it works. Daily life is easier.
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I just read this on A Workout Routine's FB page, and it spoke volumes to me. It seemed appropriate to this conversation as well:
Here's a little secret about motivation.
Most people approach their goal of losing fat or building muscle with motivation as the sole (or at least, primary) factor getting them to consistently do what needs to be done.
This is great, except for one thing: motivation is temporary.
It goes up and down over the course of a day, comes and goes over the course of weeks, and completely vanishes and eventually reappears (if you’re lucky) over a span of months, years and decades. Just like an emotion, motivation is something that you can feel strongly one minute and then not feel at all the next.
So how do most people try to solve this?
By constantly seeking out new things that will provide them with additional *TINY* amounts of *TEMPORARY* motivation. Quotes, memes, videos, pictures. Whatever will give them another "hit" of the motivated feeling they crave and *THINK* they require.
Unfortunately, this doesn't actually work.
Even the best motivational quotes (or whatever) will only make you feel that nice "motivated" feeling for a few seconds. Maybe a few minutes.
But after that? It's gone. And it's time to seek out the next useless source of temporary motivation. And then the next. And then the next.
And in the end, what does any of this actually do for you? Virtually nothing.
Which is why the REAL solution here is to understand that your problem ISN'T a lack of motivation. Your problem is thinking that motivation is something you must constantly have in order to do what needs to be done.
It's not.
Rather, the key to your success (or lack thereof) is going to be your ability to do the important things even when you aren't feeling motivated to do so.
And that, above all else, comes down to self-discipline and creating the proper habits.
Not finding new motivation.9 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »If I were in your shoes I'd talk to your husband and find something that you'd like HIM to buy you once you hit your next goal weight. Or something HE can plan for the two of you to do together. Maybe having him to hold you accountable will help? If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you just need a little break from logging/weighing to decide what your motivation will be since you say you aren't at your goal weight yet.
Yeah, maybe that's it. I dunno. I think part of it is that I look around me and see that so many people are so strongly motivated by these super-healthy, super-active things and they seem to want to get in shape or achieve a specific goal to accomplish those things and I just can't relate to it... and part of me wonders if there's something dysfunctional about how I see life that prevents me from getting to that point, you know?
There really isn't anything my husband could buy me at this point that I would truly want enough to lose another 20 lbs.
Whaaaaaa....say it ain't so...a spa day, a delicious dinner, a getaway weekend, heck an uninterrupted bubble bath would do it for me. Lol!!! But maybe I'm just at a different place in life. You may already do/have those things.0 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »I had a sudden epiphany a few minutes ago...
I remember seeing some women at an outdoor festival doing pole dancing routines and thought it looked really awesome and a lot of fun. They teach a class not far from my house... I wonder if this could be a motivator for me? It's not competitive, it's a solo endeavor and allows for improvement and growth, and it looks like it would be a good upper body workout.
?????
that's pretty much how i started hooping and it's my favorite cardio now.
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I have 15lbs of fat to lose and I'm just outside of what is considered a healthy BMI. I've been in a rut for quite some time, so no you are not alone. This Definitely feels like a different place than when you know you are reaching your goals. For me, I decided to not push the issue because I have been dieting and working out for the wrong reasons- perhaps the reasons were more about vanity and less about health and wellness. We get bombarded with messages that thinness is beauty. I needed a break from getting triggered that The reasons for dieting is simply about body image. Maybe there is reason that you are taking a break right now?
I too have been blessed with good health- have run 7 Marathons and try to eat well and workout but I know I can do better for myself and that it will make me healthier to drop my body fat.
My recent focus has been on getting stronger and eating to support a fun and healthy lifestyle. I've started to learn about weight training and have enjoyed watching my strength progress and getting to see results too. A couple of things have helped me- shifting the focus to the fact that you are gaining something by accomplishing your goal- or reset your goal to something that you actually want to do if losing your final 20lbs isn't something you feel is important. Whatever you land on- I hope your choice makes you feel healthy, confident, strong, empowered and fully present in your body!
Best wishes!
Nancy0 -
So I just bought a 5 class package for pole fitness classes and have already signed up for 2... first one is this Saturday WOOOOOOO EXCITING!! I'm always looking for anything that will make me a little sexier so this might really appeal to me.
For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to something... and now I have a reason to stick to my diet... I don't want to be all chubby and heavy when I try to learn this
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PrincessTinyheart wrote: »So I just bought a 5 class package for pole fitness classes and have already signed up for 2... first one is this Saturday WOOOOOOO EXCITING!! I'm always looking for anything that will make me a little sexier so this might really appeal to me.
For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to something... and now I have a reason to stick to my diet... I don't want to be all chubby and heavy when I try to learn this
That's so cool! You'll have to tell us how it goes!1 -
PrincessTinyheart wrote: »So I just bought a 5 class package for pole fitness classes and have already signed up for 2... first one is this Saturday WOOOOOOO EXCITING!! I'm always looking for anything that will make me a little sexier so this might really appeal to me.
For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to something... and now I have a reason to stick to my diet... I don't want to be all chubby and heavy when I try to learn this
YAY! I am so happy for you. Glad you found something to be excited about. Please keep us posted. My upper body strength is garbage so I have never even attempted that. LOL!0 -
This is great news! You have found something new and exciting that you might enjoy and this is always great news. Not to be a downer, but have you considered working on not being so heavily driven by motivation? It could be a great thing to work on while you are feeling good in order to be ready for similar situations in the future.1
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