Can't control my eating, stay on a diet, or workout
CassieR6
Posts: 280 Member
So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
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Replies
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To lose weight, you have to eat less. You can want to lose weight all you want, you can have the best plan in the world, you still have to eat less. Do you want to eat less?25
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It's going to take you finally coming to the conclusion to do something. You have to want to do it for yourself.
I tried many times to lose weight, but I always chose excuses and food over being consistent with diet and exercise. One day I had a light bulb moment and suddenly achieving my weight loss goals was paramount.
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Try to find someone you can workout with and who is committed to weight loss. It's easier when you have a workout partner to keep each other motivated and on track. Also, you mentioned you like to talk a lot, even more reason a workout partner would be good for you. Best advice I can personally give is, walk for 1 hour per day ( try to commit to it even when you don't feel like it), eat smaller meals (portion size) and don't eat anything after 8pm. Good luck with it, I know exactly what you're going through.9
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So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
ok, so you need to think about why you don't think you deserve to lose weight and be healthy...? scared to try? scared to fail? scared because you can blame all the other things that go wrong in life on being overweight but when you dont have that barrier, you'll have to face up to reality?10 -
Ok I need my lightbulb moment. haha but seriously.1
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Yes I wanna eat less1
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So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
Maybe you are thinking of these things as not for you but for them? Your best bet is to start slow and make small changes, like adding a new food that's lower in calories and taking more walks (with someone is always more fun)
Lots of us are afraid to fail - so we never try. The hardest step is the first one. You probably know a million and one "diet" tips, but it seems your motivation is dragging you down. How much do you want to change your ways and how are you going to get motivated? Small changes always help before diving in on some big project. Good luck! You can get it together...2 -
full check-up. everything. full bloods. that should always be top of the list, even if it's not the most likely cause. eliminate any medical reasons for this.
have you ever had therapy/counselling? not specifically about your weight, but about any other issues in your life. it might be worth getting some, even if the issues are something you think you're completely over.
often weight issues are a symptom. not always, but often enough that it makes sense to look into it. if the usual tactics just aren't working, take some time to find out if there's a reason for that.
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start small. Launching headlong into a low-calorie diet isn't going to work long-term for anyone. Personally I would start by adding exercise. Things you can do as a family maybe - increase the walking, go to the park etc. Then look at your diet - look at the components of each meal and try removing one 'bad' (ie. high calorie) thing at a time - increase vegetables if hunger and fullness is an issue.
A couple of things I read recently - each meal, think about what you are eating and try and decide whether the components are a net gain or loss. So if there are more healthy things on the plates than unhealthy (more vegetable and less fried stuff lets say) then that is a net gain. If all you have in front of you is ice cream that is a net loss. This isn't to say you CAN'T eat ice cream, just that you need less, and more nutritious foods.
Also try making activity a routine - activity doesn't have to mean blasting it at the gym. Make it pleasurable, then you start to equate being active with good times. The more active you are, the more you feel you can do more, and for me certainly, that tends to equate to eating better.
Set aside your long-term goals for now, and target a small change.4 -
You've already done step 1 by coming here and saying you want to lose weight.
Step 2: log everything for a week, exercise and diet. Don't try to change everything, just write everything down, every single bite.
Step 3: take a good hard look at your log and see where you can most easily make changes and what is hard for you. Are there situations or people who cause you to overeat? Certain foods? Any foods you can easily substitute with lower calorie foods? Are your portions too big? Do you eat out a lot, or cook for a family with expectations of high calorie foods? Everyone is different and has different needs. You need to figure out what your needs are.13 -
Don't wait around for motivation. Just do it.
Motivation isn't a blinding flash of light that solves everything. Motivation doesn't last.
You need habits.
Habits start with one thing.
Do one thing.
Then do another.
Keep doing things. Keep doing them some more.
Don't wait around for motivation. Just f****** do it.
And read the goddam stickies.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads34 -
None of us can give you motivation, determination and self control - those have to come from you. You have to decide that you want to do this, that you're going to do this. If you start of saying that you can't do it, you're setting yourself up for failure. You need to change your thinking. You can control your eating, stay on a diet and workout. If you keep making excuses you won't get anywhere. It sounds harsh, but many of us (myself included) have been in your position and felt exactly like you do just now. We got to where we are now by changing that thinking, getting on with it and developing that determination and self control. You can do it too!6
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Hi, hope this doesn't appear harsh.
Which do you want most?
A lovely new baby to love and care for or to continue eating and remaining overweight
It will be your husbands first child.
Try to do this not just for your future health but the happiness for both you and your husband. You will all gain from you losing weight.
Think healthy and start thinking positive.
Losing weight and keeping it off is not easy, but it can be done.
I have had many days, weeks, months where I have given up, butI keep putting these periods behind me and getting back on track.
Although I put on I have never got anywhere near to the highest weight I was
Good luck. We all have faith that you can do this
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Eat horribly and a lot
Never exercise
Complain about being fat
Read that back. There's something wrong with that picture, right?
If you really want to lose the weight, then you will focus on eating in a calorie deficit consistently, and exercise (although you can lose weight without working out, it isnt ideal for health to be a couch potato)
If you dont wanna lose the weight, you wont do these things - but then you shouldnt be complaining because its a choice you made
Time to be brutally honest with yourself i feel. Been there, it was the turning point for me.
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Well it sounds like you need your lightbulb moment, as you put it, short of needing proper medical and/or psychological help. It's unlikely that anybody here could suggest something particular in the way of diet or exercise that will switch the light on for you. In hopes of trying to be constructive in some way, though, here are links to three threads I've seen recently where people describe their own lightbulb moments:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10062989/why-did-you-come-to-the-conclusion-to-lose-weight
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10578288/what-was-your-point-of-disgust
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10588922/what-made-you-get-serious-about-weight-loss
Also there's the old standby of playing with your macros and such. No doubt you've been exposed to this suggestion before if you've been on the boards as much as you describe, but as a reminder, if you experiment with which combination of carbs, fats, and protein seems to keep you fullest longest that might give you an assist in terms of staying within your allotted calories for the goals you entered into MFP.
The last thing I'll say is just to keep at it without getting disgusted with yourself and having your efforts turning into self-loathing. Speaking for myself, I had a rough beginning on MFP: I was given 1200 calories for my goals, but within 4 days 'broke' and ate like 2000, and that weekend went over 2000 both days! But my body started to get used to it and, especially with the help of inspiration on the forums and encouraging comments from my MFP contacts, I gradually got into a groove. I assume I'll fall out of that groove too at some point, since that's just how life works, but figure that keeping a cool head about it will be the way back into said groove when that day comes.1 -
Its not going to be easy. Easy is keeping on the way you are and saying you want to lose weight. when I first started losing weight, people would say "I wish I could lose weight, but I can't because I'm busy/have a bad leg/had chicken pox when I was a child" (OK I made that last one up!). The first thing to do is weigh and log your food. Don't set your profile to lose immediately, or set it to lose only 1/2 lb a week. You need to get into the habit, and apparently it takes 30 days to make (or break) a habit. If you log food before you eat it, then you are making the choice to stick to your calories - or not - you don't get to the evening and find you "accidentally" don't have any calories left for dinner but you've got to eat, so that's another day "failed". Same with exercise - you don't need to go to a gym, you can go for a walk, you can dance around to the radio, any movement is good. But even better, if you can get a walk in early in the day, or at lunchtime, then that's your exercise box ticked whatever else happens - so if you're late home from work and/or too tired to exercise then at least you've done some anyway.
Actually I now find I have more energy, so even if I'm tired when I get in I still make a point of doing some exercise - just 20 mins Wii Zumba, or a half-hour aerobic DVD workout - before I have a bath and get changed, and then its time to cook dinner. whereas if I ate first I wouldn't exercise.
Its down to you making the choices, we can encourage you but we can't do it for you.
Keep on logging, even if you go over, and slowly you will learn to make the right decisions - not logging doesn't mean it hasn't happened, it just means you're hiding from yourself.4 -
It sounds like you're suffering anxiety. Try one day at a time. Modern society is driven by consumerism. Take some time off the internet. Go for walks, enjoy nature, enjoy reading, meditation, quality time with friends and family. Once that's done, look at your diet. How are your calcium/potassium/Vit A/D levels? Do you need more greens? How many calories are you eating on a daily basis? 2000? try eating 1900. Done a week at 1900? try 1800 and so on. Never exercise? Join a club. Get someone to come with you on walks or to the gym. If you can't, get a stepper or stationary bike and try some spinning in front of the TV. I watched the entire series of Downton Abbey pedaling away in my bedroom, every morning and every evening. Ah, get a new pretty planner and write what you've done and what you'd like to do tomorrow. Every day is a day we haven't seen and we'll never see again. GL.2
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There's never gonna really be a lightbulb moment. You're comfortable. The lightbulb moment should had been when your clothes were no longer fitting. The lightbulb moment should had been when you looked at the number on the scale. Invest in something that can lead to an automatic loss if you don't do it. Buy a gym membership or some classes for a workout class. Buy/Make some cooked meal prepped food that's going perish within a week so YOU HAVE TO START or it'll go to waste.
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Don't wait around for motivation. Just do it.
Motivation isn't a blinding flash of light that solves everything. Motivation doesn't last.
You need habits.
Habits start with one thing.
Do one thing.
Then do another.
Keep doing things. Keep doing them some more.
Don't wait around for motivation. Just f****** do it.
And read the goddam stickies.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads
So much this! !2 -
You have one child.
Do you want the second? Then you will have to get healthier to have a healthy baby.
Are you not sure about the second child?
Go back one step. You have a child. It has one mother. You are important for your child and you are going to be their guide. Guide them onto the right way. Do it now. Be the mum that made the right choices. For you and for your family.6 -
The idea that worked best for me is some advice I received a long time ago for something completely different that I now give and fits multiple situations.
Don't look at this as a giant mountain to climb, or making 10,000 decisions. Look at it as the very next step and the very next decision. Don't focus on the ones after that.
To make it up that mountain, the next single decision is the most important. You can't make the one after that until you make the first one. You can't dwell on the previous one because it has no (or very little) bearing on the next one.
Make each single decision based on whether it aligns with your goals. If you make a bad one, make the next one right. If you can't charge straight up the mountain, use "switchbacks". It may take longer, but you'll progress and you'll do what you're capable of.
Sorry for the corny word-pictures,5 -
Maybe you should start with walking more each day- get a Fitbit or I watch and track your steps daily- exercise is not easy to just jump into but if you ease into it by being more active that's a good start- as far as the over eating- we all are or at least have been there and small steps there too- track what you eat and stay below the MFP calorie intake- if you feel hungry all the time cut the carbs and bulk up on veggies and fruit- just a few suggestions
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Stop depending on motivation. Willpower is a hard to find resource. Change habits so default is healthy.
It takes 3 weeks for a habit to stick
First change habit is log everything you eat before you eat it.
Then once that is habit look at logs can you say swit change regular soda for diet or otherwise make an easy change that would decrease calories.2 -
I have an issue with over eating too. To the point of feeling sick. Over the last year of diet and maintaining and then dieting again (taking the slow weight loss method) I just recently realized I only have the urge to over eat when I eat high sugary, high fat and high carb foods. I've cut out most sugar and the high fat/carb stuff and eat more cleaner whole foods and that desire to stuff my face ALWAYS goes away. I also have more energy to work out which...I absolutely hate but going walking is a good way to start. It's super effective especially for beginners and it doesn't feel like exercise. It's really about small changes at a time but eating the good stuff is always #1.2
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There are quite a number of suggestions here from many people. Hopefully some of them resonated with you and sound like something which would work for you. At the end of the day, that's what matters, finding what works FOR YOU.
I struggled with the same thing and I can tell you what worked for me: starting with small goals I KNEW were achievable so I would meet my goals, and then increasing to do more.
A little back story: I had been successful before at getting in shape by consistently tracking what I ate and exercising. My son was very sick for several years and while I made caring for him I priority, I got off my routine and gained a lot of weight. I dreaded starting to exercise again, because I didn't want to see how much strength and endurance I had actually lost. And it was easy to put off eating right in the process. In some ways my past success was a hindrance. I knew from past experience that I would eventually become fit after I started, so I could always start tomorrow and eat what I want today.
So one day I just decided to do it. I just said, to myself screw it, I am getting on the elliptical which hasn't been used for years. I don't care how out of shape I am, I am sure I can ride it for 5 minutes. No matter how well or poorly I am doing, I will stop after 5 minutes and I will increase by a minute each day. For me, that was a very low bar. Something I was certain I could do. Knowing that the goal was very low made it possible for me to start. It allowed me to focus on the success of getting started and not the disappointment of not being able to do what I used to.
That was in March. Now I am on the Elliptical for and hour a day on some days. Others I ride twice for 40 minutes.
It was easier for me to resume eating in a more healthy way and I didn't need to take as many incremental steps, but that isn't really the point. We each have our own challenges and need to discover whatever we can to overcome them. You are the only person who can try to figure out what is standing in your way and how to get past it.
Folks here are finding their way. You can, too, and you are on the right path coming to seek suggestions. Keep trying until you find what works for you.7 -
As already stated, you have to want it. Which it seems you do, at least on the surface. Next is implementing small and sustainable changes that bring you closer to where you need to be. Forget external motivation, it's fleeting and not reliable. Build these changes in behavior & mindset into something that you simply do without needing to be motivated, like paying bills, cutting the grass, getting a haircut. It's a task that needs done.6
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So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
Imma get all deep here. You need to find your "Why". This applies to anything in life; career, family, etc. If you identify your "Why", that will keep you on track. Some generic potential "Why's" for example:
- To look good for SO (or even yourself)
- To have more confidence
- To fit clothes you don't fit anymore
- To live longer
- To feel better physically and mentally
- To be a good example to your kids/family
Motivation is temporary. Yes, we need it but you really need a deeper reason. When you find it, choosing a chicken sandwich over a cheeseburger and fries or skipping dessert or whatever will be easy because the choice is ACTUALLY about being a good example/having more confidence/whateveryoufindasyourwhy. Hope that helps!1 -
Just start walking. Then gradually increase your time. Eventually you will want to do more types of excercise.I have a Fitbit and it greatly motivates me.. then just start logging. Eat back your excercise calories or at least some of them. Make a promise to yourself to log everything even if you go over. I have been doing this and realized even when I felt like I was eating the house down I didn't do as bad as I thought... if I hadn't of logged I probably would have eaten much more...because mentally I felt like " well I didn't log , so Idk how much I have gone over.. may as well eat till im stuffed and start again tomorrow" logging keeps me from doing that because no matter how bad I think I've over eaten it's never as bad as I think. I like to look at my diary over the course of a week instead of daily... that also helps me mentally too. Starting out with baby steps will encourage you to do more. I started out like you unmotivated, but I'm on a 69 day streak of logging and I have lost 8 pounds. Just keep going.0
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