We broke up because...
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OH, sooo many places to go with this...
She wanted a prepubescent boy toy... I obviously didn't foot the bill!0 -
When we went to Dinner he wouldn't pick up the bill!0
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We went to dinner and she picked duo the Bills. The Buffalo Bills football team0
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No way!!!
Broncos all the way Baby!
She didn't know me at all!0 -
There was only room in her heart for Broncos0
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She caught me Lovin on Peyton Manning!
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She sat on my face when I was sleeping0
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She made me get rid of all my Late Night with David Letterman VHS cassettes...0
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He was always reminding me to be kind and rewind!0
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She mommied me too much...0
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He wanted me to call him the d word
Daphne... Weird0 -
I was not sufficiently qualified to keep her satisfied...0
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Because if I had stayed he would have ruined me!0
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She couldn't handle the pressure of dating a billionaire!1
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He wouldn't stay on the island with me
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She didn't consider my happy anniversary emoji a proper gift...0
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One of his personalities wanted to kill me
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I Loved all of her multiple personalities... but one wouldn't use that tongue! LoL0
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He thought I was a cheerleader0
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She wouldn't take off her socks in bed1
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He wasn't a talker0
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He didn't like to be seen with me said it was stalking0
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I couldn't satisfy her appetite
Or she couldn't satisfy mine
One of those...0 -
Complained about my cooking0
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She considered microwave dinners "cooking"...0
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He wouldn't buy me a stove0
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She didn't know how to operate the stove0
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She kept farting in her sleep0
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He spent more time at the gym then with me0
..looked like a prepubescent boy..titless 
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