need some comforting words please, my parents hurt me and are not sorry... (long)
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Motorsheen wrote: »tmanfromtexas wrote: »TeinyWinehausen wrote: »Thanks for the flag!
They flagged you because you spelled Whut wrong. It is spelled wut
Waaat?
Dont make me flag you...2 -
It seems to me we only have half the story here. Be honest with yourself as to why there is this tension. It clearly goes back way further than when you moved back to the family home.0
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You can't control your parents just yourself.
You have a part in what went down. You had choices. You could have walked away when your mother said no to your help. You engaged and furthered the argument even after they went away. You said nasty things too.
You aren't okay but apparently can not communicate that.
You should get out of their house and then decide if you want to continue a relationship with your parents.
Get some therapy to help you learn to communicate and deal with things better.2 -
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I'm married and 35 and if I ever called my mother a bi**h for any reason I would be dead after she was done with me my sorry carcass would get it from dad. I tried once when I was 13.... once. Mom still has the wooden spoon that showed me the error of my ways.
You don't have to like your parents but you do have to show them respect because: A) they are your parents B ) it is their home C) most people will treat you the way that you treat them.
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This goes way beyond your current situation. If you can afford to be somewhere else, be somewhere else. If not, hunker down, be polite, be unobtrusive and avoid confrontation until you move out.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Sign of the times. Adult kids are not moving out. People in the 20s and 30s. Some still dip into parents funds to get assistance. I know a couple with 2 kids and grandma is footing their disney trip with a grudge.
more fool grandma!1 -
You clearly have a dysfunctional family. Your mom disregards and disrespects your feelings and you in turn do the same thing to her. Whereas you have a right to stand up for yourself, two wrongs don't make a right. And quite possibly she is just as hurt by your attitude as you are by hers. It sounds like you are both experts at meeting each others need to feel like a victim and you may not even realise it. You, and you alone, are responsible for the way you react in situations like this, regardless of how the other person handles it. Moving out is the best thing you can do right now. Stay away for awhile. Set clear boundaries so you don't get caught up in the never ending maze of madness. You are well aware of what triggers these kind of reactions, so it should be easy. It will be good for you to live alone for your own emotional well-being, at least for a while. Some times you have just accept that you won't get an apology, especially when the person sees nothing wrong with their actions.
Good luck to you, I hope it works out for you and you find some happiness, soon!2 -
TeinyWinehausen wrote: »tmanfromtexas wrote: »TeinyWinehausen wrote: »Thanks for the flag!
They flagged you because you spelled Whut wrong. It is spelled wut
Wot?
You get a pass only because you are in the southern Hemisphere...1 -
Will_Run_4_Food wrote: »TLDR
... i didn't realise i would attract such stupidity. i said it was long... so bye.
thank you to everyone who actually tried to raise my spirits. bless you xxx
I'm starting to understand why your parents treat you the way they do
hahahaha oh ok then. xD2 -
abetterme9366 wrote: »Jesus Christ
So do you think that he also had issues with his parents?1 -
I apologised to keep the peace, i lived alone for 4 years i am only staying temp till i move into my new place and i found the place so thanks love, i am a grown up.MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Definitely just keep demanding an apology, afterall they're only letting you live with them AND finding you a new place, such meanies. You sound so grown up.
wow lol i came here thinking i was going to get mature responses. i was utterly wrong. my mistake. wont happen again.with a name like that you must be a piece of *kitten*.
those that did help though i appreciate it and i hope the best for you too, the rest of you can go bounce.
anyway, chow =D
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I can't even imagine what it must feel like to be treated like that by your parents. I'm sure this isn't new behavior but I suppose one would never get used to something like that from someone who is supposed to care for them.
The only suggestion I have is to be as civil as possible until you are out of their house and then begin breaking ties with them. Their behavior is not likely to change and you don't need that in your life. Find some friends that care about your and move on with your life.2 -
You did get mature responses - the problem is that you were expecting responses from people who weren't mature, who would sympathize with you as a young person feeling aggravated by the people who are paying for your entire existence. Many of the people here are parents themselves.
As long as you live under their roof, you have a responsibility to be civil. You don't have to keep living under their roof, and if they treat you badly you don't have to invite them under your new roof.3 -
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tmanfromtexas wrote: »
Post Reported.0 -
It would be pretty rare for this to come out of nowhere. Sounds like a pretty toxic and long-term dynamic has been going on.
Probably best that you get your own place anyway.1 -
abetterme9366 wrote: »Jesus Christ
This pretty much sums up my feelings on this thread...and I'm an atheist!0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »tmanfromtexas wrote: »
Post Reported.
Appreciate that!!!0 -
tmanfromtexas wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »tmanfromtexas wrote: »
Post Reported.
Appreciate that!!!
I'm here to serve.0 -
You need to be put on anti-depressants. I think they will fix everything because I'm on one now for an injury since it has multiple uses and I have no feelings of love nor hate. I pretty much just stare off like a zombie and do not give a fck about anything, especially your post.4
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You need to be put on anti-depressants. I think they will fix everything because I'm on one now for an injury since it has multiple uses and I have no feelings of love nor hate. I pretty much just stare off like a zombie and do not give a fck about anything, especially your post.
Staring off is vastly underrated.1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »You need to be put on anti-depressants. I think they will fix everything because I'm on one now for an injury since it has multiple uses and I have no feelings of love nor hate. I pretty much just stare off like a zombie and do not give a fck about anything, especially your post.
Staring off is vastly underrated.
I do kind of like it.0 -
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I reckon some breathing space would do you all good. Keep yourself busy the next few weeks - gym, work, friends - then distance yourself once you're in your new place.
Work on building your confidence back up, being independant and happy alone. Every one wants validation and love from parents, but parents are just people. They have their own baggage to deal with, their own lives to contend with. Being a parent doesn't come with instructions and we all just fail at being civilised and "getting it right" relationship wise sometimes. In all relationships we can't always get the validation and comfort we might want at the time. I too struggled with pleasing my parents and feeling valued by them, and I know it's a lonely place. But the best we can do for our own long term future happiness is to learn to love and value ourselves fully, and depend and expect less of that coming from others. When you get it, enjoy it, but don't depend on it.
When you're strong and in a good place yourself, when your value in yourself can't be shaken, go back and make amends with your parents. I reckon all will have calmed down.0 -
I would say don't hold grudges and free yourself by forgiving others especially ur parents and move on with your life. You should be so busy with doing that what is good and beneficial to yourself and others that u don't even remember if anyone ever wronged u. But remember don't get stung by the same stinger two times. If you do mistakes, learn and move on. Life is too short to be worrying about things that u cannot change or going back to past. Everything happens for a reason. Peace ✌1
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Will_Run_4_Food wrote: »TLDR
Yeah much. I got problems too0 -
I have never called my mum names not she, maybe both of you need to see a councillor? If your home is that turbulent maybe you should move out now. Once the dust is settled, talk with a professional (there ain't any on here).0
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