Special occasions make this feel impossible

2»

Replies

  • BeachBaby_81
    BeachBaby_81 Posts: 62 Member
    You need to break that mentality of good and bad foods, a good day or a bad day. Don't even get me started on 'cheat days' .. You will go through your life restricting and bingeing and doing your own head in. Don't get stuck in Monday to Friday mentality. I call special occasions 'Memories over Macros' days. Eat the foods, drink the drinks and move on. Look at a kid eating an ice cream. They don't sit around for hours afterwards wishing they didn't eat it. They eat it, enjoy the s**t out of it and get on with their day. It's what you do consistently that pays off. One or two (or even three or four) days out of a month aren't enough to cancel out all the other days you put in effort. Don't beat yourself up.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited September 2017
    Special occasions are named that for a reason. They're special. They're not a daily occurrence. There are 365 days in a year, and even if 65 of them were special events 300 days have a much larger determining effect on your weight. Eat the cake. Don't consider it "ruining your diet". Consider it "complementing your diet" because it's keeping you sane enough to continue dieting. Once you treat these days as part of your diet, not a deviation from it, you will feel much better and do much better because you will be able to last much longer, which is the most important aspect of any diet.

    To manage your calories just do one or a combination of the following depending on what feels easier to you at the time:
    - exercise extra to earn the calories for that cake
    - bank calories when you know there will be an event
    - have lighter meals
    - eat up to maintenance that day (days not in a deficit don't ruin your diet since you aren't gaining weight in maintenance)

    Most importantly, try to teach yourself to not feel guilty about this. That's life. There is no need to feel guilty over living your life like you are supposed to. That's how you'll be eating for good if you're planning to maintain your weight. You better get used to just living your life with all its variations unless you are planning on losing weight then moving into a cave and living as a hermit.
  • milkywayward
    milkywayward Posts: 27 Member
    Why do you think you're "missing out" if you refuse drinks or dessert? If these occasions are really that frequent, there will be another one soon enough — you're not missing out on anything, except food that in the long view you don't want to eat. On days where I know I have a party that I want to eat dessert and high-calorie foods at, I budget my calories early in the day and prioritise protein and fibre, and indulge a little. If I really go overboard it's just one day and not that big a deal. When I look back at my life I don't think what I will remember about any given party is whether I did or didn't have cake or dessert.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    I had this same problem, so I just started eating a couple hundred less calories per day during the week which gave me 1000 extra calories for the weekend but still the same net calories for the week.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    OP, one thing that really helped me was determining what my personal maintenance calories were (~2300). Now I know that as long as I am under 2300 calories for the day, I'm still technically losing. And if I go over, it's usually not by much.

    This is much more helpful to me than having a calorie goal of 1600, having a day where I ate 2000 calories and beating myself up because I "ate too much." Which I obviously didn't, but thought I did because I didn't know my maintenance calories.
  • Parabellum68
    Parabellum68 Posts: 15 Member
    Everybody is entitled to time off, that is why we have rest days / treat days etc. I love going binge drinking like most people, it just means I do more time in the gym when my hangover goes
  • JenHuedy
    JenHuedy Posts: 611 Member
    Lots of great tips here! One thing I also try to do is make sure that if I do splurge on something, that it is "worth" the calories. A slice of cake is going to be around 400 calories whether it's from a box cake mix, a chain grocery store or a gourmet bakery, but that bakery cake or scratch-made cake will taste a thousand times better than the box mix cake or grocery store cake that you can have any time. It's a lot easier for me to say no to the "meh" stuff if I give myself permission to splurge on the really special things. Or, I'll splurge on one fruity cocktail if I'm on vacation, then have my usual rum & diet soda for the rest of the evening. But if it's just a couple drinks with friends, I'll probably just have a diet soda because even one or two drinks will sometimes mess up my morning run.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    One day of indulgence isn't going to ruin your weight loss efforts. Sorry but if I'm celebrating something (like a wedding) I'm going to celebrate! That means eating cake and having probably a few too many drinks. Just dust yourself off the next day and get back to work.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I am like this on the weekends with alcohol!!! I just had to put my foot down and turn down the liquor. I have a big social life and every weekend there is something planned with family and/or friends. I had to put an end to it or I will never get to where I want to be.

    Last weekend I did very well. Went to dinner on Friday with friends I just had water. Friends and my husband "You're not drinking???" Me "NO! I'm good"

    Saturday my cousins bday party. I had diet Pepsi and told everyone it was rum and diet coke! My husband had a sip "I dont taste the rum!" Me "It's there!!!"

    So much pressure to drink and socialize. I am so done!!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Lemme guess...you're on a 1200 calorie diet...and judging by your picture, you don't really have much if any weight to lose. Are you eating back exercise calories? Move more, eat more...also, determine if your deficit is really appropriate for you...I'm just guessing based on my personal history here and seeing so many ladies just defaulting to 1200 and then doing a bunch of exercise on top.

    Beyond that, you should figure out what your actual maintenance is. You can go over and still be in a substantial deficit. Also, you should look at your deficit for the week, not just a singular day. Also, when I was losing I just typically ate maintenance on Saturdays as that's when we have social occasions...some days I ate maintenance all weekend. In the grand scheme of things it was no biggie...I still lost 40 Lbs pretty easily.

  • eyer0ll
    eyer0ll Posts: 313 Member
    Mccloud74 wrote: »
    eyer0ll wrote: »

    - drink half the glass of wine


    Now go wash your mouth out with soap :smiley:

    I know, right? Heresy. Also more easily said than done.
  • cefleischman
    cefleischman Posts: 46 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    I am like this on the weekends with alcohol!!! I just had to put my foot down and turn down the liquor. I have a big social life and every weekend there is something planned with family and/or friends. I had to put an end to it or I will never get to where I want to be.

    Last weekend I did very well. Went to dinner on Friday with friends I just had water. Friends and my husband "You're not drinking???" Me "NO! I'm good"

    Saturday my cousins bday party. I had diet Pepsi and told everyone it was rum and diet coke! My husband had a sip "I dont taste the rum!" Me "It's there!!!"

    So much pressure to drink and socialize. I am so done!!!

    Yes!!! Most social gatherings in my area (and possibly age group) seem to revolve around drinking. I've learned the hard way that fruity cocktails, margaritas, and hard cider contributed to my weight gain. I've been sticking to no alcohol or a seltzer water with Tito's vodka and lime wedges.

    Some people really put on the pressure and I don't understand it. Once a male friend actually asked if I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant (which needless to say I was not lol).
  • cefleischman
    cefleischman Posts: 46 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Lemme guess...you're on a 1200 calorie diet...and judging by your picture, you don't really have much if any weight to lose. Are you eating back exercise calories? Move more, eat more...also, determine if your deficit is really appropriate for you...I'm just guessing based on my personal history here and seeing so many ladies just defaulting to 1200 and then doing a bunch of exercise on top.

    Beyond that, you should figure out what your actual maintenance is. You can go over and still be in a substantial deficit. Also, you should look at your deficit for the week, not just a singular day. Also, when I was losing I just typically ate maintenance on Saturdays as that's when we have social occasions...some days I ate maintenance all weekend. In the grand scheme of things it was no biggie...I still lost 40 Lbs pretty easily.

    I actually couldn't handle only 1,200 calories, so I bumped it up to 1,475 (I think that's the exact number on here? I'm still kind of new to this). I stick around that or sometimes eat around 1,300.

    And I gained 15 lbs in a short period of time due to over-eating and not exercising. It's not a lot to lose, but I'm fairly short (5'3") and do not feel or look healthy right now. Plus all of my clothes fit way too tight and I don't want to buy a new wardrobe :/.

    I'll move more and I am not eating back my exercises calories. Thanks for the tips!
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,183 Member
    I always think on this :"a moment in my lips, for ever in my hips." And since I don't need additional inches in my hips, my lips stay close.
  • Agent_Freckles
    Agent_Freckles Posts: 79 Member
    edited September 2017
    You could run or swim to try to make up for eating a portion of bad food as well. Not the greatest solution but I do that before going out to eat. I also try to eat a small breakfast and lunch as well. Also, remember that it's ok to eat a smallish portion of bad food but if you eat a huge portion that's what's going to get you in trouble in the long run.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Agent_Freckles wrote: »
    You could run or swim to try to make up for eating a portion of bad food as well. Not the greatest solution but I do that before going out to eat. I also try to eat a small breakfast and lunch as well. Also, remember that it's ok to eat a smallish portion of bad food but if you eat a huge portion that's what's going to get you in trouble in the long run.

    What's bad food?
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,209 Member
    Agent_Freckles wrote: »
    Also, remember that it's ok to eat a smallish portion of bad food but if you eat a huge portion that's what's going to get you in trouble in the long run.

    I seriously implore you to never knowingly eat bad food: just give it to a dog! Canines have the ability to handle spoiled food in a way that humans cannot even come close to matching!
  • Julani34
    Julani34 Posts: 36 Member
    I love this calorie counting way for this exact reason. I can really eat anything. I have burgers with my family on a Friday and French toast on a Sunday morning. I don't feel too badly restricted. If I see I have no more calories left for supper, I'll take the kids for a walk or mow the lawn or something to "work it back" so I can have something for supper. It's awesome.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited September 2017
    What is your calorie goal? It sounds like it might be too low for you ifntou can't fit in a single treat now and then. There are a couple of options.

    1) raise your goal and plan to lose weight slower but enjoy the events. Life is short.

    2) eat at maintenance on the weekends

    3) add some exercise to accommodate for weekends

    4) try something like the 5:2 diet but use the caloies not eaten on the 2 days on the weekend, like banking then through the week and using them all at once (try to weight yourself less often as this method causes larger swings in weight even as the trend goes down).

    E.g. say you eat 1500 to lose 1 lb a week. 3 weekdays eat 1500 A day. 2 weekdays eat 500 A day. Weekends eat an average of 2500 A day. It balances out to the same weekly amount.

    Also maybe play with your macros a bit. You might feel fuller on a diet with the same calories but higher protein or fat or fibre.

Categories