Age = less attractiveness?

QUEENxo1992 wrote: »

But does age play any part in this?

what i realise is there have been phases in my life where i'd look at my face in the mirror and feel really happy about how i looked because i felt like i matched my appearance. so personal comfort and confidence have been very much about 'do i feel like my face represents me', if that makes sense. to make that more concrete: i think in my twenties i was objectively very pretty, BUT it wasn't until my 30's that sense of feeling synched up with my own face that it really kicked in for me. i was cute as a bug for a while in my early 20's, but once i was 28 and a single mother and a person with opinions and grit and an entire stance towards life . . . that's when i really felt as if i'd grown into my face. and my face, just as much, had grown into me.

so that's the background. and i'll be honest with you: right now at 52 i think i'm in another phase of slight uneasiness between my 'self' and my face. it feels like two people in a room who don't know one another too well, trying to do-si-do around each other for who goes through a door first. idk any other way of describing it

that's partly because yeah, i did kind of forget that things like wrinkles happen and stuff. so there are physical factors my internal self hasn't caught up with quite yet. but it's also partly because i'm just in an in-between personal kind of phase, anyway. to be honest again, a lot of this feels like adolescence all over again.

but the point is: i grew out of/into adolescence as well, so i'm mostly just side-swiped by the idea that 'adolescence' is a recurring phenomenon, psychologically. the culture never really made that quite clear to me, so i'm going through this thing now where i'm sort of hunkering down and trying to recall and access the 'lessons' of the first time around so i can hopefully streamline this one.

tomteboda wrote: »

June 25, 1745
My dear Friend,
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

-Benjamin Franklin

whitpauly wrote: »

seltzermint555 wrote: »

whitpauly wrote: »

I'm kind of lucky cuz I've never been "beautiful" teens and 20's I was too busy raising kids and being totally self conscious about weight,skin issues etc,now at 44(!!) On Thursday! I can honestly say that I feel more attractive now than in my youth,I get hit in by all ages but I think they sense my confidence and smart *kitten* personality and it's appealing, who knows, who cares cuz I've been married my hubs for 27 years so I don't pay much notice,I think being the best YOU is more attractive than just youth in general, the number does still bug me a bit though but as others have said,at least I'm alive haha

I think that's pretty cool too. I don't have kids, was always overweight, and have always been pretty confident but I always knew I wasn't "the pretty one" and was fine with that. I liked being the funny one, smart one, nice one, whatever. My mom and her four sisters were GORGEOUS when they were in their teens, twenties and thirties. Like movie stars. My mom legit looked like the actress Andie MacDowell. While she's still a beautiful almost-67 year old, she's not dropping jaws in the same way and it kills her and she feels devastated by that loss of attention and constant praise for her looks. I feel like I'll never have those same types of issues, having never been given excessive attention based on looks - and while at 25 I may have felt jealous of it, now at 40, I'm really, really glad.

This is exactly what I was thinking, you worded it better haha,I can't imagine not being able to age gracefully and mourning my youth and vanishing looks,my mom does that and it's made her act out throughout the years by trying to be younger than she is plus being depressed cuz she's aging

Tacklewasher wrote: »

VeronicaA76 wrote: »

Tacklewasher wrote: »

Need2Exerc1se wrote: »

But Raquel Welch is still pretty smoking hot at 76.

I guess I'll disagree, in that while she is hot for 76, she was hotter in Barbarella.

Yeah, it sucks, but people get less attractive as they age and, in general, it is worse for women (in the eyes of most men). Looking around the gym, I see older ladies who are fit and in better shape than I am (not difficult to be) but they are not as attractive as the younger women. Somehow (and it may just be the straight guy in me talking here) I don't see as much of a difference between younger and older guys if they are in shape.

It's not right, it's not fair and it is no reason to not improve your health.

Hope I man'splained that well.

Don't worry. And guess what, we find the 25 year old guy working out at the gym a lot more attractive than the 45 yr old guy. But then I am sexually attracted to men, and I'm assuming you're not - so I can better see the difference. Also, there is a difference between finding someone incredibly attractive and being willing to be with them in a relationship. Sure the 20yr old is smoking hot, wouldn't actually date him though.

For the record, been married to the same person for 26 years. She has always been better looking than me. But, yeah. She did look better then. But I was also skinny when we got married and she still is, not like me.

I couldn't deal with a 20 yr old. I've sat behind them in movie theaters. Nope. Don't care what they look like.


Great. Now I've offended the 20 yrs olds here. I'm doing well today.