Tell me about your last binge....
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I have gained 8 kilos in the past 3 months. That an average surplus of about 700 calories a day over maintenance and something that would take me 4-6 months to re-lose. This is the first time this happened without me being in control and meaning to do it. I have never had a true BED, so this time it's very odd to feel this way. I feel this loss of control around food that can't be reasoned with. Although "I know better" I was increasing my olive oil, butter, and cheese consumption as if deliberately. I "planned binges" by deliberately buying smoked mixed nuts by the kilo and multiple salted peanut pouches when usually I know better not to. I stopped weighing myself after having done it daily for years although I know better and preach better. Halfway through I just gave in and stopped trying to control it, it is what it is. Now I'm trying to go back to the way things were and finding it much harder than my usual controlled diet breaks and gains. Having identified the issue and trying to deal with it may help bring things back to normal eventually, here is hoping.
How this all started is that I was taken by surprise by an emotion I wasn't expecting so I wasn't prepared for. I have been fat my whole life, always the fattest person in the family. I didn't exactly like some of the inconveniences, but I was completely fine and happy with myself. 3 months ago I hit my lowest weight ever in my adult life, which happens to be very close to my sister's weight. I panicked. The thought of not being the fattest in the family felt scary like I was losing my identity and my "true self". I didn't like that feeling and wanted desperately to stay fat. What made matters worse is that I worried how my sister would feel about it. Would she resent me? Would she feel bad? I didn't know how she would feel because I know for a fact not everyone is as comfortable and as happy as me to be fat. I didn't share it here on the forums because all I could see are people who can't wait to get rid of the weight and are happy when they do so I felt even more isolated.
I'm back to a calorie deficit now and I'm trying to work through these feelings to be better prepared when I hit that weight again. Hoping to snap out of it soon.14 -
I never have food at home that I can binge on so that limits me usually.. but.. my binges usually consist of picking up a large pizza, telling myself I'm just going to eat half, but eating six slices and forcing myself to throw the other two away. Have to mention that I'm a 5 feet tall woman so 6 slices of large pizza alone puts me over for the day.
Although I haven't done this in years due to learning self control, I can eat a whole bag of milanos at once, or a tub of pringles. Ah.. I kind of miss those days.2 -
I never binge at home, so the last time I binged was when we went to our favorite chinese buffet restaurant for dinner a little over a month ago. It also kinda killed my urges for binging, since by then I had been on a low sodium diet for at least five months and everything seemed way too salty to me.0
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Yesterday. We had a busy day and I wasn't prepared for it. Got to family members house late afternoon and I was so hungry I binged on chips and fruit juice and when we got home I ate vetkoeks and topped it off with ice cream and chocolate sauce. I think the binging on chips made me feel oh well I'm already screwed for today so I just let go. It was nice at the time but I woke up in the night with a terrible headache and I feel almost hungover. It wasn't worth it. Won't be doing that again. That said, if it doesn't happen too often I don't believe a binge could affect your weight any more than one day of fasting would long term.2
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I can go weeks and months without a binge then bang I am back on that roller coaster! The last couple of weeks have been tough - the last one was on Saturday - long draining day at work - Cooked dinner for everyone else and I sat and ate tubs of icecream biscuit cake then anything else left in the house!! Sunday I said that’s it no more junk food as that is a trigger for me - half way through the day back on biscuits!! Not good! Today back tracking on MFP - plenty of fruit n veg - meals planned lunch prepped! went gym at 06:30 this morning - just need to beat this! The crazy thing is the foods I binged on I didn’t enjoy as much as I thought I would! Urrggghhh - feel free to add if anyone wants to be friend for support!2
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I hate binges; they're so tempting yet so good, then you feel so guilty afterwards! Things I binge on include Nutella, java chip frappuccinos, dark chocolate Reese's, Kit Kat, Hershey's, & Moose Munch bars, Darrell Lea black liqourice, choc. no-bake cookies, fudgy brownies, McDonald's fries, pizza, ice cream sandwiches, & chocolate Edy's light ice cream. Because of the past year I've binged 31,412 calories over my goal net. I need to get rid of that!2
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Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »The worst part about it is that there isn't a particular food I can keep out of the house to avoid it. I already don't buy cookies, ice cream, etc. But for example last night I was alone: I ate my curry soup for dinner while DH was getting ready to leave. It was satisfying so I thought "yay, maybe I won't binge tonight!". After he left I set myself up with a TV show... And wanted to eat. So I made an impromptu pizza with a crust of 2 cups flour, 1 cup milk, 1/4 cup oil, pasta sauce, lunch meat, cheese. Baked it, ate it all. By then I was feeling so stuffed it hurt. But I managed to eat a few more things before DH came back. I did this three times this week, that is, every single evening I was alone (different foods every time).
I have this same issue. I can have no prepackaged "bad" foods in the house, but I always have eggs, sugar, butter and flour, so I can always whip up a batch of cookies or mug cakes. I also can't get away with throwing foods away because I know from experience I will just go straight to the shops and buy twice as much again. Luckily I have funds to cover it as I genuinely believe I would get myself into debt otherwise, the compulsion is so strong.
I'm in the middle of a month? long binge. I don't remember when it started if I'm honest. It began with stress due to trying to plan a wedding, and continued because my OH went away with work. Whenever he's away I binge constantly to the point of feeling sick. A sample of things I've eaten this last week: an entire round loaf of bread, whole mozzarella ball and cheddar cheese made into a cheese bowl (ate it in one go), a family pack of crisps every night. A pint of ice cream. 3 packs of large cookies. A tray of hazelnut chocolates, a whole pack of smoked salmon, a pack of egg noodles with butter and hotdogs, pork pies, grapes. The list goes on but I honestly can't remember half of what I've eaten.
How I feel about it? Surprisingly, I'm not bothered. I struggle with anxiety and depression and choosing to binge is how I deal with those when my OH isn't around. It's a terrible coping strategy, but food is and will always be my comfort. That way the palpitations and nausea can be blamed on the food, not a pending anxiety attack.
What will stop it is the fact that I'm running out of readily available food, and my OH is back home. And then next time he's away it will all happen again.
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Last night I bought these little frosted bakery butter cookies for my husband and some coworkers meeting at our house. I must have eaten 10 of them last night. Then later that night, I had a huge blueberry bagel w/ cream cheese. It was like a carb overdose, but dang, it was good. Back on the wagon today!2
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cmriverside wrote: »Last binge I had was about a week ago, but I have controlled/planned binges. I don't moderate sugar well at all and I still love some sugary things, so last week it was Little Debbie oatmeal cookie sandwiches. When I put them in my cart at the store I know full well I won't go to bed until they are gone. I have a few foods like this, so I don't buy them often. A box of those oatmeal things is 2040 calories. I had them after I had already eaten my meals for the day, so needless to say...I hit 3900 for that day. I will do it again, just with some other item. I didn't have any real reason for it, no stressful things happened, I had plenty of sleep. I just wanted LD oatmeal cookies.
I have been known to eat eight of them and then pour soapy water over the other four. Is that managing it?
I can go *so* long without doing this, then I have to have some treat that I know this will happen - because I admit it is a weakness and I don't control it. I've tried, really. After ten years at this calorie-counting and weight maintenance thing I know it will satisfy my desire for a month or so, then I'll do it again. In the meantime I'll have an ice cream cone when I'm out or a single muffin at the zoo with coffee - something like that. But I won't bring them home. I log it all, and make sure I weigh myself every day for a few days. It all works out.
You and I are very much alike here. It's like premeditated binging. I'm the same way - I'll buy a package of a "no brakes" food knowing full well I will overeat it because to me, a serving size is the entire contents of what I just bought ... and when (if) I finally get control over the binge, into the trash the remainder goes with soapy water! Friday night was an entire container of double chocolate cookies... 1280 calories, so not the worst thing in the world. The worst is when I want peanut butter because I can literally eat half a jar before being able to stop myself. Luckily, my dogs love peanut butter so I try to share the wealth.
FWIW, I have had limited success with throwing away most of the container while in the grocery store parking lot at times and leaving a normal sized portion or three still in the container for me to enjoy. Feels like just throwing away money, but the alternative is throwing away healthy eating habits ... so I guess that's the trade-off.
First of all. Throw it away first? Brilliant. Except that would be the time that I would have to have ten instead of the six I brought home. I feel like I have to have way more available than is comfortable, to be honest. I think it's partly fear of lack instead of comfort with abundance. It's definitely a fear/rebellion with me. Pretty well set up by my childhood and blah blah blah. If I buy a pint of ice cream, it's not enough. Many a time I wanted more after a pint. When I'm buying it I have to really concentrate or I'll end up with two pints or a big container.
Sometimes I'll get going and my mouth will be uncomfortable. The only things that make me stop are either the roof of my mouth becomes over-sensitive, or I am so full I feel like I'm ready to burst.
I keep a headache journal because I used to get crippling migraines when I was younger and it just became a habit to journal them. The only headaches I have had in the last two years have been post-sugar binge or forgetting my afternoon coffee. It's like a sugar hangover, and I have to just ride it out because no OTC meds will stop it.3 -
Yesterday I got home an hour late from work which put me right as I am normally about to eat. I was starving. While cooking dinner I had a protien bar, mini snickers, cheetos, and bbq chips. Then dinner was ready. I ate more than I normally do but still didn't go over calories. Tonight if I am late I think I will settle for some tea while I am making dinner (but it is tuna salad night so that doesn't take as long to make)0
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Now who weighs themselves the day or two after and see all the water weight gain and then get down on themselves? Me.. I do. How long does the water weight stay on?0
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Last Thursday. My husband took his mother to the grocery store Wednesday night, and came home with two packages of Oreos. They were 2/$5, he says, so of COURSE he bought two!
Oreos are the one food that I cannot seem to moderate. I know this about myself, which is why I typically don't buy oreos at all. When we DO have them in the house, I ask my husband to hide them from me, but this time, I didn't.
My daughter and I each had a few oreos that night, no big deal, I was all proud of myself for my control.
I was working from home on Thursday instead of going to the office, because of a weirdly-scheduled doctor's appointment. I had some leftovers for lunch, logged it, and got myself two oreos.
Then, a little later, I got two more.
Then, a little after that, I thought I'd just have ONE more.
Lather, rinse, repeat. At some point, I realized that there were only a few left in the package, so I just gave up and ate them, too. Finished the entire package in less than 24 hours, save maybe 3 cookies that my daughter ate the night before.
Combination of things- 1) the very PRESENCE of my trigger food, the oreo - I swear, if I know they're in the house, I become obsessed and they occupy my thoughts kind of constantly (I know how crazy that sounds); 2) change in routine. I don't mindlessly snack at the office, but when I'm working at home, I think I eat more, just because it's there and it's easy; and 3) being home alone. It's stupid, because my husband encourages me to eat more, most of the time, so it's not like I have to hide my eating from him. But when it comes to my sweet tooth, some sort of sneakiness finds its way out, and if I'm going to binge on sweets, I'm going to do it alone.
That was a bad day, and I was so angry with myself. But it happens. I didn't log it or calculate the calories, I just tried to focus on getting back on track, and recognizing the reasons why it happened means I can try to avoid that particular trifecta.2 -
JeepHair77 wrote: »Last Thursday. My husband took his mother to the grocery store Wednesday night, and came home with two packages of Oreos. They were 2/$5, he says, so of COURSE he bought two!
Oreos are the one food that I cannot seem to moderate. I know this about myself, which is why I typically don't buy oreos at all. When we DO have them in the house, I ask my husband to hide them from me, but this time, I didn't.
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Same. And they are always so bloody cheap (even here in New Zealand where 99.9% of groceries cost more than USA/Canada/UK). I did the exact same thing last Thursday. I have such a sweet tooth and if I have a real craving, I'll buy a 300cal chocolate bar and work it into my calories. Only this time I had a little glance around the store and saw that a full 16 cookie pack Oreos was 50c less than this tiny chocolate bar I was about to buy. And they were only 45 cals each - if I only have 2 or 3, then that's less money and less calories? Brilliant!
Only I knew. Knew. That I was in complete denial. I put them in my desk drawer after lunch and had three. Then three more...and before the afternoon was out I has finished the whole packet . And in addition to my other post on this thread, that was my other binge.
Oreos and Nutella are my crack. Keep them away from me!
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Yesterday, half a thing of brownie ice cream. I don't know what triggered it and what stopped it was the ice cream running out. I felt like crap for the rest of the night.0
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To steal @AnnPT77 's phrase..."Not truly a binge (not completely out of control, just freely overeating)"
I stayed home with a migraine last week and for some reason could not get enough carbs. Four toaster waffles with peanut butter and syrup, eight pieces of toast with butter, and a peanut butter and brown sugar sandwich, all before lunch. Didn't log it.2 -
Last few days. Lots of M and M's and plain biscuits. Stupid *kitten* cramps and migraine. when i could eat chocolate is all i wanted. Feel like more crap than i did the other day.
Am unimpressed that my cramps are worse and have been triggered by the change in diet.
2 little packs of M and M's ..... i used to be a huge chocoholic so this is probably better than before, just very disheartening.
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JeepHair77 wrote: »Last Thursday. My husband took his mother to the grocery store Wednesday night, and came home with two packages of Oreos. They were 2/$5, he says, so of COURSE he bought two!
Oreos are the one food that I cannot seem to moderate. I know this about myself, which is why I typically don't buy oreos at all. When we DO have them in the house, I ask my husband to hide them from me, but this time, I didn't.
My daughter and I each had a few oreos that night, no big deal, I was all proud of myself for my control.
I was working from home on Thursday instead of going to the office, because of a weirdly-scheduled doctor's appointment. I had some leftovers for lunch, logged it, and got myself two oreos.
Then, a little later, I got two more.
Then, a little after that, I thought I'd just have ONE more.
Lather, rinse, repeat. At some point, I realized that there were only a few left in the package, so I just gave up and ate them, too. Finished the entire package in less than 24 hours, save maybe 3 cookies that my daughter ate the night before.
Combination of things- 1) the very PRESENCE of my trigger food, the oreo - I swear, if I know they're in the house, I become obsessed and they occupy my thoughts kind of constantly (I know how crazy that sounds); 2) change in routine. I don't mindlessly snack at the office, but when I'm working at home, I think I eat more, just because it's there and it's easy; and 3) being home alone. It's stupid, because my husband encourages me to eat more, most of the time, so it's not like I have to hide my eating from him. But when it comes to my sweet tooth, some sort of sneakiness finds its way out, and if I'm going to binge on sweets, I'm going to do it alone.
That was a bad day, and I was so angry with myself. But it happens. I didn't log it or calculate the calories, I just tried to focus on getting back on track, and recognizing the reasons why it happened means I can try to avoid that particular trifecta.
I get it!! When we have certain things in the house they consume my thoughts. I try not to buy larger packages of sweets, cookies, ice cream, etc, because even with some of the things I CAN moderate pretty well, I find they start to get in the way of healthier eating.
For example, instead of a huge chickpea or tofu stir fry with tons of vegetables, rice, and 2 cookies, I will mess around and leave off the rice from my dinner, and eat fewer chickpeas or tofu, and instead I'll log and eat 7-8 cookies. Same calorie count. It's just not a good idea. There's an ongoing line in our house from the old Pink Floyd song, my husband will say "You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat" and actually that's even funnier because we don't eat meat period (at home).
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I rarely "binge". However, at times, I do make a conscious decision to eat much more than I know I should and I am willing to abide by the consequences of that decision.0
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Today. I had my six weeks postpartum check up. I have lost a whopping 5 lbs of the 45 I gained with my son. (Totally my fault, I came off of restriction and ate everything for nine months, stupidly thinking I'd lose it all without effort like I did with my first.)
I bought a pack of cookies at walmart and had 1300 calories of them. I could have ate the rest but stopped because this isn't helping, they don't taste good, my belly hurt and I just need to work hard and move on.
I also hadn't ate yet today because of IF and I was later than normal from my appointments, its always easier to binge when hangry.0 -
Famof72015 wrote: »Now who weighs themselves the day or two after and see all the water weight gain and then get down on themselves? Me.. I do. How long does the water weight stay on?
I weigh myself every day - the water weight comes and the water weight goes. It usually takes 1-3 days for me to drop a particular spike, but everyone's different, and since there are multiple things that can trigger water weight gain that might overlap, it's always going to be a bit of a guessing game. Patience is the key.2 -
MegaMooseEsq wrote: »Famof72015 wrote: »Now who weighs themselves the day or two after and see all the water weight gain and then get down on themselves? Me.. I do. How long does the water weight stay on?
I weigh myself every day - the water weight comes and the water weight goes. It usually takes 1-3 days for me to drop a particular spike, but everyone's different, and since there are multiple things that can trigger water weight gain that might overlap, it's always going to be a bit of a guessing game. Patience is the key.
Yeah, I figure after a binge is the most important time to weigh. It usually takes 1-3 days for me, too. But to be fair, I usually drop down to 200 under my maintenance for those 1-3 days. I've been at maintenance for years, so I'm pretty dialed-in.0 -
cmriverside wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »Famof72015 wrote: »Now who weighs themselves the day or two after and see all the water weight gain and then get down on themselves? Me.. I do. How long does the water weight stay on?
I weigh myself every day - the water weight comes and the water weight goes. It usually takes 1-3 days for me to drop a particular spike, but everyone's different, and since there are multiple things that can trigger water weight gain that might overlap, it's always going to be a bit of a guessing game. Patience is the key.
Yeah, I figure after a binge is the most important time to weigh. It usually takes 1-3 days for me, too. But to be fair, I usually drop down to 200 under my maintenance for those 1-3 days. I've been at maintenance for years, so I'm pretty dialed-in.
Oddly, it usually took 1-2 days for me while losing, now - in maintenance - 2-3.1 -
I made grain free and sugar free granola - was absolutely divine until I burnt it. Strangely though I like the flavor of overcooked food so I ate it anyway. I ate waaaay too much, maybe 1-2 cups so. My tummy didn't like me much after that and I seriously paid for it. Serves me right. Won't do that again.0
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quiksylver296 wrote: »To steal @AnnPT77 's phrase..."Not truly a binge (not completely out of control, just freely overeating)"
I stayed home with a migraine last week and for some reason could not get enough carbs. Four toaster waffles with peanut butter and syrup, eight pieces of toast with butter, and a peanut butter and brown sugar sandwich, all before lunch. Didn't log it.
I've been trying to be better about logging indulge-y days. I did it like religion while losing (even overages), but I've gotten worse about that in maintenance. Part of it is that I've usually eaten some crazy-long list of small amounts of lots of things, some of which are hard to estimate (local bakery feta focaccia, for example), so it seems tedious. But it is useful to have the data for "was it worth it" assessment in the cold light of day: I'm analytic to a fault.
That's an impressive lot of bread, BTW - but then I'm not much a bread girl.2 -
It's so interesting to hear people's triggers. And helpful to know I'm not alone. Being tired or out of my routine are typically what set me off. Or sometimes, just a rainy day when I'm not able to get outside and walk.
I'm trying lately to be super aware (or mindful) of triggers and to catch myself in the moment. The first thing I ask myself is "is eating more of this going to taste better, or make me feel better?" Sometimes it works and sometimes I keep eating it regardless. Sometimes I eat a pint of ice cream so I can get to it before my husband does. So in addition to being a binger, I'm also a little bit of a food hoarder.0 -
I had mac and cheese with bacon for dinner. Still stayed under my goal for the day.2
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Thanks for all the responses. Good definition, IMHO, whoever described binge criteria as alone, in secret and out of control. My binge tendencies have, over many years, become less frequent and less voluminous. But they still happen. I'm an emotional eater, so sadness or stress is my trigger. I can leave a package of Oreos untouched for months if I'm in a good place mentally. But I'll eat a chocolate Easter egg thats been sitting in the pantry >2 years when I get really sad and can't find any other chocolate. Yes, that happened.
Also, over-restricting, especially following a binge, is a recipe for a future binge for me. I totally agree with the comment about a lack of sleep making it harder to stay on plan. It just makes me hungrier. My willpower is no match for increased ghrelin & decreased leptin. So I WILL overeat but not necessarily binge on too little sleep.
Good awareness questions, nowine4me. Eating more never tastes better. It never solves the source of the sadness or stress. Being over-full to the point of pain never makes things better. But sometimes it does feel comforting to eat more.
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seltzermint555 wrote: »Last Monday. I visited my mom and she was stressing me out (long story and lots of reasons). I helped her get groceries because she was struggling with some health issues. We bought a packet of creme horn pastries to split. I ate one, with a plate & fork, like a civilized being...six to a pack, so we each had two more in a baggie. I'd already had a small brownie and a hamburger a few hours earlier, mind you. I was roughly at my calorie limit for the day even after the hamburger & brownie, and I definitely hadn't eaten as healthy as I'd like or as I do normally. I feel like having even one creme horn was just comfort/stress eating because she was doing my head in with her own issues and gripes.
In the car driving home from her house, I ate another creme horn. Then I licked the creme filling out of the last one, breaking it in half to get all of the creme, and it didn't even honestly taste good but I just felt like I "had" to have all the sugar in that moment. As I was eating it, I thought about how stupid it was, and how out of character for me. I haven't done anything like that in ages. I'd also thought of throwing the two creme horns out the window (not the bag though, I wouldn't litter something like that just edible food).
As a result, I felt sick to my stomach and humiliated as well. It wasn't worth it at all. Once in awhile, my husband and I will get a couple of donuts and coffee that is outside of our calories/macros but it's totally worth it to me and fun and not shameful at all. This was totally the opposite experience for me. I was in my car feeling like a rat pushing a button to get a pellet of food or something. The pastries were not even very good, and the filling just tasted like fluffy sugar with no real taste. I felt extra weird about it because a week earlier I'd noticed a packet of the same pastries in the supermarket and thought, "Man I could eat all six of those" and eating this stuff in my car, at night, secretly, was just not even behavior that I normally have ever had even during the many years when I was morbidly obese.
I think we all have low moments and that was one of mine. I hope this doesn't sound lame because it's "not a true binge" (roughly 500-600 calories)...for me, it definitely was. I've been controlling my calorie intake for years and this was a fail for me. I'm moving past it though. I'm pretty sure if that happened again I'd pull over and just throw the two creme horns in a convenience store garbage can.
Your story is painfully familiar to me. It almost sounds as though you were punishing yourself with the cream horns - even the first one. You must have been "swallowing" a lot of anger that day, and maybe feeling mad at yourself for not being able to re-direct your mother.
There's no easy answer to dealing with these emotions, but you know for sure you don't want to attempt to deal with them with food again. Try to label the emotion(s) you were feeling when you decided to eat cream horn #1, #2 and #3. Then write a script for yourself that's short and easy to remember the next time a similar emotion triggers you to eat inappropriately. Both a negative and a positive statement help, like: "Eating this won't get me what I really want." and "I'm courageous and strong." Your own creations will be better than mine!
For now, don't beat yourself up. Just see it as an opportunity for growth and success next time.
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My last binge happened before I gave up added sugar and flour last December. Before that, every day was a binge - I mean eating way too much every few hours. I remember one day eating slice after slice of cinnamon toast - so many I lost count. Once I changed my diet to eating mostly protein and veggies, my urge to binge subsided.
When the urge does resurface, I combat it by eating rotisserie chicken, lol. I don't know why that works for me, but it does. I sometimes go over my calories with the chicken, but then it's over. I'm convinced that there's a biological component to my (previous) binging. Too much sugar/carbs in my system sets me up for repetitive out of control eating. My new way of eating helps me feel strong and in control. It's so peaceful!! And I really value that.0 -
CynthiasChoice wrote: »My last binge happened before I gave up added sugar and flour last December. Before that, every day was a binge - I mean eating way too much every few hours. I remember one day eating slice after slice of cinnamon toast - so many I lost count. Once I changed my diet to eating mostly protein and veggies, my urge to binge subsided.
When the urge does resurface, I combat it by eating rotisserie chicken, lol. I don't know why that works for me, but it does. I sometimes go over my calories with the chicken, but then it's over. I'm convinced that there's a biological component to my (previous) binging. Too much sugar/carbs in my system sets me up for repetitive out of control eating. My new way of eating helps me feel strong and in control. It's so peaceful!! And I really value that.
I have noticed the same thing for myself. If I have a day of inactivity and add in any amount of sugary, fatty foods, it seems to trigger this insane urge for more of the same as well as out of control hunger. I always found that I had to put in an intense workout after a binge in order to 'reset' everything, so to speak.0
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