I was FINALLY gonna talk to Hot Cafe Guy...

Christen850
Christen850 Posts: 19 Member
in Chit-Chat
I often go to a particular local cafe to grade papers and lesson-plan. This one guy, henceforth known as Hot Cafe Guy, is *always* here. I never have the guts to talk to him for 2 reasons:
1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
2) I am shy and insecure.

Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.

And he is here, of course!
However...
He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
Guess I can focus on getting work done...
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Replies

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Maybe it's his sister.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    Have a 2nd coffee shop handy in case this doesn't pan out for you....all the best.
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    If he is hot looking , then I am pretty sure he gets hit on a lot ...
    Not someone you would want to get involved with , especially if you are insecure .
    save you're self from a heart break .

    A lot of good looking people rarely get hit on because of people assuming that they must get hit on all the time, or because their looks make people feel intimidated.

    game theory level 2..

    now, game theory level 3

    A lot of good looking people get hit on because people assume that A lot of good looking people rarely get hit on because of people assuming that they must get hit on all the time, or because their looks make people feel intimidated.
  • KyleGrace8
    KyleGrace8 Posts: 2,205 Member
    I'd say if you don't see a ring go for it. Maybe incorporate the ol' "bend and snap"
    ome9entawub6.gif
  • Jarvis95
    Jarvis95 Posts: 157 Member
    Oh no!!! you look like a lovely young brunette!! Do it tomorrow. What's the worst thing that can happen? If he's not interested, there's other HCGs in the sea!! :)
  • FeelingAlive
    FeelingAlive Posts: 117 Member
    My boyfriend is incredibly good looking. I went for him with confidence. Now he's stuck with me lol
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  • Renaissance_Turtle
    Renaissance_Turtle Posts: 960 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.

    Is this hunter gatherer theory? I saw two male goats fighting over a female today. I suppose that's how it still works too.
    More like hunting vs fishing. A hyena wears it'self out chasing food down only to have a lion come along & eat it for him. A fisherman has a nice leisurely day enjoying nature, uses the right lure, goes home with his catch & enjoys fish tacos, some whiskey & falls asleep from being content.
  • jondspen
    jondspen Posts: 253 Member
    It wasn't this guy was it? :)
    4luas6geyr7w.jpg
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.

    It's 2017.

    I don't know what 2017 has to do with it. When I was single I was exactly the way @Cutaway_Collar says. Though I don't know if most men are like that.

    OP, you look great as well. You should go for it imo.
  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.

    Is this hunter gatherer theory? I saw two male goats fighting over a female today. I suppose that's how it still works too.

    OP - If you want something you go for it, the worst he can say is no. In fact, he won't say no. He'll probably be courteous and chat you up a bit. Be friendly and see where it goes, at the very worst you've gained a friend.

    Regardless of the outcome you've gained experience + you'll never have the feeling of regret of not knowing 'what if' you hadn't drummed up the courage.

    Personal development is never a wasted cause.

    Oh liver, this is the best advice I've read so far from you. Personal growth is always a gain.
  • Christen850
    Christen850 Posts: 19 Member
    edited October 2017

    I promise I’m not trolling. I just have a dorky sense of humor. Also, I am simply incapable of thinking of normal social interaction scenarios.
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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Just because this guy had a conversation with someone else doesn't mean you can't talk to him. If he was responding in a friendly way to someone else maybe that could make it easier to approach him.
    After a year going to the same cafe you might try smiling and saying hi every now and then to the other regulars even if they aren't hot guys. Get some practice.
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    misnomer1 wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.

    It's 2017.

    I don't know what 2017 has to do with it. When I was single I was exactly the way @Cutaway_Collar says. Though I don't know if most men are like that.

    OP, you look great as well. You should go for it imo.

    Because women being passive along with the 'first move' belonging to a man is antiquated. She's trying to say that we live in a time where if a female wants to be aggressive and make the first move, let her.

    Not saying you're wrong - if your cup of coffee is to only let yourself be open to passive, shy women that's cool too! But if you've turned down any woman who made the first move on you, you might have missed out!

    Advice comes 10yrs too late. Should have had all of them extra girls!!
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Hi. ASL?
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Christen850 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.

    Here are some of my ideas to appear mysterious:
    1) Answer a pretend phone call and loudly whisper, “They must not obtain the microfiche! We’ll have to make the exchange now! I’m at ____ Cafe; be sure your agent knows the passphrase.”
    2) Instead of drinking my latte, I’ll not-so-discreetly pour small amounts into my shoe every few minutes.
    3) To appear aloof: I will approach him and ask for the time. As he looks down at his watch, I turn and quickly walk away, muttering, “Whatever...”

    THOUGHTS??
    Act like he does not exist. That is a good start. Then sit close to his area. Pay him zero attention.

    What I said earlier plays into the male psyche well.

    Confident women play mind games. The whole let him come to me rather than me going after him concept. That feminine ego is very admirable. Because if you are approaching every hot guy in a coffee shop, you only contribute to male ego and setting yourself up for being brushed aside.

    This is the first time I've seen a post of yours that I agree, to a point.
    I don't believe in the whole men are chasers thing though, some men like to be approached.
    I personally have never approached a man that I wanted. It's no fun for me. It's too easy, if course he will go for it. To me the fun is making him approach me. But...that's a personal preference. There's nothing wrong with women going for what they want.
    OP, go talk to him.
  • Sivadee00
    Sivadee00 Posts: 428 Member
    edited October 2017
    Christen850 wrote: »
    I often go to a particular local cafe to grade papers and lesson-plan. This one guy, henceforth known as Hot Cafe Guy, is *always* here. I never have the guts to talk to him for 2 reasons:
    1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
    2) I am shy and insecure.

    Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.

    And he is here, of course!
    However...
    He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
    This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
    Guess I can focus on getting work done...

    Looks can be deceiving. I fell in love with a tall handsome man once. He was also funny and popular. What I didn't know was that he was mentally unstable and a stalker.
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  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Christen850 wrote: »
    I promise I’m not trolling. I just have a dorky sense of humor. Also, I am simply incapable of thinking of normal social interaction scenarios.

    92jp7tqfz00u.jpg
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Sivadee00 wrote: »
    Christen850 wrote: »
    I often go to a particular local cafe to grade papers and lesson-plan. This one guy, henceforth known as Hot Cafe Guy, is *always* here. I never have the guts to talk to him for 2 reasons:
    1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
    2) I am shy and insecure.

    Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.

    And he is here, of course!
    However...
    He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
    This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
    Guess I can focus on getting work done...

    Looks can be deceiving. I fell in love with a tall handsome man once. He was also funny and popular. What I didn't know was that he was mentally unstable and a stalker.

    So now you go for the short and ugly ones?
  • Christen850
    Christen850 Posts: 19 Member

    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    Sivadee00 wrote: »
    Christen850 wrote: »
    I often go to a particular local cafe to grade papers and lesson-plan. This one guy, henceforth known as Hot Cafe Guy, is *always* here. I never have the guts to talk to him for 2 reasons:
    1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
    2) I am shy and insecure.

    Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.

    And he is here, of course!
    However...
    He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
    This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
    Guess I can focus on getting work done...

    Looks can be deceiving. I fell in love with a tall handsome man once. He was also funny and popular. What I didn't know was that he was mentally unstable and a stalker.

    so op is an unstable stalker?

    No the hot guy is an unstable stalker

    but in the story op is the one who comes to his workplace and knows his work schedule

    I’m stalking him?
    Dude... the Hot Guy hangs out in this cafe literally *every evening*. I could go there any night of the week and dude is ALWAYS there. (I average 2 visits a week, on random days) So it’s more like I can’t avoid him!!

    Also, he doesn’t work there, he *does his work* there - like I sometimes do. I’m grading papers; no idea what he’s doing. Usually staring sternly at his computer screen. :/


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