Women with husbands.

hisamazinggirl
hisamazinggirl Posts: 38 Member
edited November 2017 in Chit-Chat
Do you every get the feeling where your husband is happier whenever there friends come over ? Whenever its just us my husband and i don't say much to each other . When we do we kinda argue or just do our own thing . I feel like he doesn't like me . Sorry for being all girly and complainy. Just need some advice . Any kind of advice. I have 2 daughters with him.
«1

Replies

  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    hisamazinggirl wrote: »
    Do you every get the feeling where your husband is happier whenever there friends come over ? Whenever its just us my husband and i don't say much to each other . When we do we kinda argue or just do our own thing . I feel like he doesn't like me . Sorry for being all girly and complainy. Just need some advice . Any kind of advice. I have 2 daughters with him.

    A few questions based on my thoughts on the matter:
    • What ages are you?
    • How long have you been married?
    • Do you still engage in husband and wife "bedroom" behavior?
    • Do you both have jobs?
    • Do your friends visit sometimes as well?
    • Are there any mutual friends shared by both of you?
    • Are there any family activities which include the two girls?

    The answers to these questions might hold the clues to a happier future.
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    And to add to these questions:
    When was the last time you held hands?
    Do you have date nights?

    My marriage was similar towards the end. I can't remember the last time he kissed me good bye, good morning or good night. I can't remember the last time we held hands. And our last date night was about 5 years before our divorce was finalised. Our fighting was also much more than arguing though so don't compare too much
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,080 Member
    hisamazinggirl wrote: »
    Do you every get the feeling where your husband is happier whenever there friends come over ? Whenever its just us my husband and i don't say much to each other . When we do we kinda argue or just do our own thing . I feel like he doesn't like me . Sorry for being all girly and complainy. Just need some advice . Any kind of advice. I have 2 daughters with him.

    what type of work does he do?
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    It sucks that you feel that way...I am super sensitive to the littlest things...I'm not married but it has been suggested to me that I shouldn't take things so personally.
    Maybe it's the 'comfort' of a relationship that makes your husband quieter?
    In any case if it upsets you it's not ok, and you should tell him what you think in a non confrontational manner, he may be unaware of how you feel
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
    yep, you need to tell him how you feel. my husband does not have friends over or go out with the guys but every family is different.
  • MrSith
    MrSith Posts: 1,636 Member
    All people need an outlet.....his is his friends. I think you are making a bigger deal out of nothing or you aren't telling the entire story.

  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
    Our partners get all of us, the best and the worst. A marriage isn't all sunshine and rainbows and puppies, but it should be far deeper and more meaningful than all that fluff. An afternoon with the boys just goofing off is off course enjoyable to him. Would you want him to resent you for enjoying a shopping trip with your girlfriends?

    If you never talk, something is probably missing and needs to be addressed by both of you. That's likely what you are upset about more than him having a good time with the guys.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    Everybody's a little bit different. If he doesn't beat on you or hide drinking or gambling debts, you are on the "winning" side.

    You can improve things by realizing that "to love" is a verb, but for now it's possible that you need only enumerate the blessings you do have.
  • _pi3_
    _pi3_ Posts: 2,311 Member
    edited November 2017
    my ex was like that............. We broke up
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    No, we are both glad when they leave so we can go back to it just being us. Granted I have been married for 20 years and we still really like each other a lot and enjoy being together.

    Feeling like your husband doesn't like you sounds really lonely and troublesome! Insecurities we may have within ourselves may transpire into our relationship or perhaps that spark you once had is dwindling, maybe ask him out on a date, do some something fun you have not done in a while. Talk to him!!!
  • sytchequeen
    sytchequeen Posts: 526 Member
    No, my husband is my best friend. We have shared interests and hobbies, we like the same kind of films (mostly) and music (mostly). That's kind of how we got together in the first place. Mind you, we don't have kids... so I don't know if that's affected your dynamic. Do you do something as a couple or something as a family that could give you common ground? Good luck
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    We have been married almost 37 years and now that you mention it I don't have any friends to have over. If we entertain it is our friends but that is seldom. Kids are gone and we spend almost 100% of our time together, her office is across the hall in the business we run together. I recently decided that I need a hobby so I settled on woodworking but now I get the "well you just go to your shop and ignore me". Its funny that she never said that mowing the lawn or painting the house is ignoring her. Oh well, maybe it will grow on her.
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    You might want to talk to him about this... and maybe consider some couple's counseling too?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    hisamazinggirl wrote: »
    Do you every get the feeling where your husband is happier whenever there friends come over ? Whenever its just us my husband and i don't say much to each other . When we do we kinda argue or just do our own thing . I feel like he doesn't like me . Sorry for being all girly and complainy. Just need some advice . Any kind of advice. I have 2 daughters with him.

    to answer the first question.... no.

    as others have said, you need to talk to him.
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    edited November 2017
    1. It's not girly to complain, or to feel insecure, it's human.
    2. The primary virtue in any healthy relationship, marriage or otherwise is honest, open communication, with each other.

Categories