Ask A Nurse.....

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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Are the operating tables ever used for any late night fun?
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    How many Gerbils have you seen removed?
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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    nothingbundtpizza wrote: »
    I am considered unattractive by many, but I'm a good person inside. People always tell me that it doesn't matter what I look like on the outside because I am beautiful on the inside. I was wondering how much would it cost to peel off my face, so that the world could finally see my beauty? What is this procedure called, and does insurance cover it?


    just always remember, Beauty is only skin deep...



    but ugly goes clean to the bone.
  • Tolamarie
    Tolamarie Posts: 5,542 Member
    If you really are a nurse, you need to read your state's nurse practice act. You are in violation.
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  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »
    csbnga wrote: »
    Do you have any medication available for people with no sense of humor? Asking for a not friend.

    I don't know about you but I'm taking her mole advice straight to the Chief of Medicine

    Does anyone have the hotline number for ASRN? I need to make a report.
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  • ManBehindTheMask
    ManBehindTheMask Posts: 615 Member
    TenaciousGymKitten wrote: »
    Merrysailor5 wrote: »
    ManBehindTheMask wrote: »
    Merrysailor5 wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Does this mole look suspicious?

    yes.
    ManBehindTheMask wrote: »
    If I had a head accident, which resulted in a nasty cut, swelling and bruising, and a 2 week long headache, what is the most likely diagnosis?

    Ps - vision for reading has become progressively worse since too

    It's probably a concussion. Slap a bandaid on it. You'll be fine soon.
    jkou77 wrote: »
    My arm fell off ...is this the result of a possible zombie infection?

    I believe we have found patient Zero.....

    The cut is fully healed, it was 6-8 weeks ago and my vision is still screwed :D

    Most likely a subdural hematoma in the area of the injury resulting in brain swelling that is affecting your vision. I've got a butter knife and some duct tape. I can fix it for you.

    I'm disappointed this didn't include a kiss to make it better. Don't worry @ManBehindTheMask I have a nurse's uniform and stethoscope. @Merrysailor5 permission to proceed, please.

    1pXxcxTPzye2tgxqZ5Vk68tBhsLUMp.gif
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Tolamarie wrote: »
    If you really are a nurse, you need to read your state's nurse practice act. You are in violation.

    as in most situations in life, it's good to ask: so what?
  • Merrysailor5
    Merrysailor5 Posts: 1,424 Member
    edited December 2017
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Tolamarie wrote: »
    If you really are a nurse, you need to read your state's nurse practice act. You are in violation.

    as in most situations in life, it's good to ask: so what?

    Disclaimer: I am not an actual nurse. And none of the information I have provided is fact based or backed by any kind of evidence.

    Edited for further clarification: any situation even alluded to is purely fictional or based upon an episode Greys Anatomy.
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  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?
  • TheCounselorx
    TheCounselorx Posts: 1,182 Member
    tell me..... as a nurse...... what is your favorite body part of the opposite sex (and keep it clean.... i.e. don't keep it clean really....)
  • more_skal
    more_skal Posts: 400 Member
    As a nurse what’s your opinion on the amount of weight that can be safely lost each week?
  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?

    (While Merry is busy)Amputate. It's the best solution in your case, no pain or discoloration afterwards
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  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    ManBehindTheMask wrote: »
    If I had a head accident, which resulted in a nasty cut, swelling and bruising, and a 2 week long headache, what is the most likely diagnosis?

    Ps - vision for reading has become progressively worse since too

    I'm not a nurse but common sense tells me get yourself checked out by a doctor.
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    dc8066 wrote: »
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?

    (While Merry is busy)Amputate. It's the best solution in your case, no pain or discoloration afterwards

    You forgot the most important part. before Amputation be sure to place a turnicate around the neck and tighten down to stop the flow of blood to the lower body.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    dc8066 wrote: »
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?

    (While Merry is busy)Amputate. It's the best solution in your case, no pain or discoloration afterwards

    Lol! Sounds all fine and Dandy... But then how would I dance afterward?
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    dc8066 wrote: »
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?

    (While Merry is busy)Amputate. It's the best solution in your case, no pain or discoloration afterwards

    Lol! Sounds all fine and Dandy... But then how would I dance afterward?

    You could get a peg leg. Just watch out for knot holes in floors, and soft ground.


    peg_leg_by_molleh33-d80cao7.png
  • Merrysailor5
    Merrysailor5 Posts: 1,424 Member
    pogiguy05 wrote: »
    dc8066 wrote: »
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Just Curious.. ;)

    I fell down a flight of stairs a year and a half ago hurt my leg and hip badly and was on a cane for 9 mos. Many Drs and Orthopedic Drs and Spine Drs and never had any relief until lots of Prayers over me! Within two weeks was finished with the cane! Do Doctors and nurses approve of Spiritual healing?

    Also... Leg still discolored from the bruising, anything that can be done?

    (While Merry is busy)Amputate. It's the best solution in your case, no pain or discoloration afterwards

    You forgot the most important part. before Amputation be sure to place a turnicate around the neck and tighten down to stop the flow of blood to the lower body.

    Thanks for filling in for me while I was away.... Pseudo Nurse Merry is back!
  • Merrysailor5
    Merrysailor5 Posts: 1,424 Member
    lavinia_whateley_goals wrote: »
    as a nurse, can u get yr friends free drugs?

    No. I don’t share my drugs.
  • Merrysailor5
    Merrysailor5 Posts: 1,424 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    I keep getting a pulsating pain under my left breast every time I eat a large-ish meal. It never lasts long. What could it be?

    Describe the typical large meal you have please.
  • Merrysailor5
    Merrysailor5 Posts: 1,424 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Merrysailor5 wrote: »
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    I keep getting a pulsating pain under my left breast every time I eat a large-ish meal. It never lasts long. What could it be?

    Describe the typical large meal you have please.

    Today I had one chicken breast with roasted red peppers and goat cheese. With a side of roasted broccoli.

    Maybe acid reflux or gas.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    Merrysailor5 wrote: »
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Merrysailor5 wrote: »
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    I keep getting a pulsating pain under my left breast every time I eat a large-ish meal. It never lasts long. What could it be?

    Describe the typical large meal you have please.

    Today I had one chicken breast with roasted red peppers and goat cheese. With a side of roasted broccoli.

    Maybe acid reflux or gas.

    If she could have consumed two chicken breasts, would she have doubled her displeasure and have pain under both?

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