Question for Ladies who have Lost Weight

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Replies

  • GoldenEye_
    GoldenEye_ Posts: 330 Member
    Even when I was 18, fit right into that beauty standard of an hourglass figure and a bmi of 19.4 I was treated with respect by men. Did I get a lot of attention? Yes. Was I ever touched inappropriately? No. Even during my backpack trip in europe for a month, when I was all by myself wandering the streets at night, nothing happened.

    As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing. If you keep worrying about it I think others have made excellent suggestions. Good luck overcoming your fears!
  • brig220
    brig220 Posts: 52 Member
    I'd be careful if I were you.
  • MrsPinterest34
    MrsPinterest34 Posts: 342 Member
    Oh yeah I'm getting more attention after losing 30-plus pounds, sometimes it can be overwhelming but nothing crazy. I personally don't care for the attention and i don't need it. I'm also petite 5'2" , curvy and losing weight makes me look even smaller and probably an easy target for some BUT I dare anyone one to try me. I live in a busy metro city and I go out walking by myself. I'm always in control. I've always had a higher than average self-confidence. No one messes with me without my permission. I don't even worry about it.
  • mysteps2beauty
    mysteps2beauty Posts: 494 Member
    becky10rp wrote: »
    Nope. But my husband says I have a constant 'don't fu*k with me' look, so there's that.

    I give people that look too, even when I was skinny back in the day. I eventually got a date and boyfriend... :)
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
    I have this nagging fear in the back of my head that once I drop all my weight and look like the stunning beauty I know I am (oh so humble!), I'm scared people will mess with me.
    Being overweight all my life has been like a suit of armor, nobody would dare kidnap the "fat girl" (and if they could, they've earned it!). I know that this fear stems from my mom's paranoid/anxiety disorder and it is irrational. Most people are good and decent. I already know first hand as I am a people person.
    I'm just worried things will change, that all of a sudden, masked assailants will jump out of the bushes or strange weirdos will try to grab my butt. Please tell me this is not true, that nothing really changes (I don't mind a few cat-calls tho, I quite enjoy that LOL).

    So much this for me. Except I have a history of childhood abuse that is the main contributing factor for me. I have only been overweight since having kids. But even prior to that, I walked around scared much of the time. I did what some others have suggested and I would force myself to stand tall (if a shorty can do that) and appear "strong" so no one would bother me (even though I was quaking inside). This emotional aspect is the last goliath I have to conquer to get past the emotional part of weight for me. I've spent this past year just dealing with junk from childhood and this one last little piece continues to plague me. I think you just gave me the kick in the pants I need to face it down and just deal with it so I can move on. But I so get you on the fear of someone coming after you. I totally get it. I don't have any great advice except to face it down and don't let the fear win. For me, it's David vs. Goliath, and I expect David to win.
  • Ainadan
    Ainadan Posts: 158 Member
    I am a country girl living and working downtown in a large city, so I feel the same way as the OP. I don't look fat, but I'm large and can "throw my weight around" if needed. But I already somewhat stick out and get comments because I am cute and different looking than most people walking downtown. I'm afraid if I get smaller, then people will do more than make comments. Maybe I need to take self defense classes. I got a black belt when I was a kid, but I'm a bit rusty.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    dsboohead wrote: »
    bikecheryl wrote: »
    If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?

    Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!! ;)

    You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be :)

    I am an idiot......the hat had me thinking guy until I maximized the picture and saw woman and saw bikeCHERYL! SORRY bikecheryl!
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I get where you are coming from and for several reasons went through some of the same anxiety. It's more than just looking hot ;) it's also coming to terms with your new body. I believe it will pass, some of the suggestions are good. At the absolute minimum try working out doing things you never thought you could. Even something a simple as Lunges or Jumping Jacks, so many to pick from . . . as your body shows you its strength your mind and thoughts will catch-up :) = Less Fear!
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    I have anxiety about many irrational things, but have just recently realized that 99.9% of them will never happen. Personal safety is one of these things. Going off the pill has improved my situation tremendously.

    Anxiety and hormones often go hand-in-hand. Talk to your doctor and a therapist if needed. Mental issues can be hereditary, no shame in getting help.
  • rainbowblu
    rainbowblu Posts: 119 Member
    I fully understand how you feel.My mom and being abused as a child left me with fears and anxiety. I thought about taking up martial arts,at least that will give me more confidence in kicking someone's *kitten*.
  • newheavensearth
    newheavensearth Posts: 870 Member
    Unfortunately there have been a large number of gropings and rapes in my neighborhood so I take self defense and boxing classes. I also run.

    As for aggressive behavior, I find it comes from other women- eye rolling, tooth sucking, name calling, flirting with my husband just to start a fight, accusing me of looking at their "man" when it's usually the other way around. Petty and jealous crap.
  • crewgirl86
    crewgirl86 Posts: 28 Member
    I laughed reading this, because I knew it was ridiculous but I've actually had the same thought! I have lost about 50 pounds, and when I was heavier, in a weird way I did feel safer. But now that I am at a healthy weight and have been exercising like a fiend, I feel stronger and faster than ever. I am almost certain I have the speed and endurance to outrun any bad guy! :-)
  • GoldenEye_
    GoldenEye_ Posts: 330 Member
    As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing.

    We, as a species, are never going to ever move past the whole victim blaming of "What you wore caused a man to sexually assault you.", are we. Women younger than me are now regurgitating this myth so of course we aren't.

    If I wasn't before, I am now actually relieved I have no biological stake in the future of humanity.

    Yes, woman! Let's ignore reality in favor of an ideal fantasy world! If we say it doesn't happen it will surely stop happening from now on. Interesting how you see victim blaming in what I said. Of course it's the fault of women who are wary of how they dress because there are guys who think they're above all norms and values of society. (Note: Like said before the heavy assaults are often about power and have little to do with how you dress, I'm not talking about this).

    Your comment made me furious for reasons I'm not going to get into here. For this reason this will be the last I'll reply and read of this matter.
  • QueenBee2018
    QueenBee2018 Posts: 196 Member
    I agree with the post above 100%, a few years ago I lost 36 pounds and started getting a lot of compliments, more looks from men, nothing at all negative. I am happily married for 29 years so not interested but it did create in me a spirit of fear that I only realized consciously several years later after regaining the weight, and all the aches and pains that go along with it! It's good to be aware of your thinking because then you can change it.
  • QueenBee2018
    QueenBee2018 Posts: 196 Member
    Whoops I wasn't on the last page when I wrote my post--agreeing with new lifestyle's post!
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