Describe your job poorly

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Replies

  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    cougargirl1025 wrote: »
    I make toys for fuzzy, killer animals and watch them play. Then I train them to let me give them shots and cut their nails.

    Fuzzy killer animals are my favorite
    cougargirl1025 wrote: »
    I make toys for fuzzy, killer animals and watch them play. Then I train them to let me give them shots and cut their nails.

    any tricks for getting a very skittish large fuzzy killer animal to cut her nails? (she was a rescue and basically has a meltdown when we do them)
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  • Jackibrazil
    Jackibrazil Posts: 124 Member
    Telling people to go places and them saying no. Getting a headache then calling other people to tell them to go places and they say no some more. Someone says yes then they say no then they say yes.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    I do dangerous things for money. Unspeakable things.
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    I make guys take their shirts off and touch them till their scapula is perpendicular to the wall.
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  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
    Scream at people all across the globe to do there freakin job
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    I play with dirty green paper all day. And supervise a group of bratty millennials who also play with dirty green paper. Sometimes we get holidays off.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,464 Member
    I sleep until noon. Get up, get dressed, go out to eat, shop, come home, take a nap, go out for dinner. Watch tv until bedtime.
    Repeat daily.
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  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    It's a tie between Necrotic Flesh Management or Zombie Apocalypse Prevention Specialist
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  • madelaine_xo
    madelaine_xo Posts: 24 Member
    I glue hair on peoples eyes and make their skin brown
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    I do my best to not *kitten* *kitten* up and ruin the environment
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I get paid to color in the lines, not sniff glue/markers and sometimes play with glitter. I also wrestle yarn away from old ladies and cats (not at the same time).
  • CosmoSalt
    CosmoSalt Posts: 16 Member
    Basically, I sit in a never ending (NEVER. ENDING.) staff meeting. My boss thinks he is Tony Robbins. I stay sane by chasing a personal best in my own little staff meeting olympics. When people nod off (1 pt) or slobber (2 pts) or the elusive nodding off while slobbering... a whopping 10 points!
    Still waiting for someone to sleep, slobber and fall out of the chair; which would net me a cool 322 points.
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    I get to tell people what to do, after finding out from other people what they want done, and then I check to make sure it was done right, and if not, I get to tell them to do it again, but correctly.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    My Full-time job, I get to punch keyboards while making important decisions on procedures and processes. I also get to delegate work to my underlings, who are employees for a company I do not work for.

    My Part-time job, I would get to deal with @Mr_Healthy_Habits *kitten* up *kitten* and hope he doesn't have to see the back of @LittleHearseDriver 's vehicle.
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  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »
    I get *kitten* at by women in labour poping babies out of their vaginas

    Why not just tell them that had they of abstained they wouldn't have to be mean to you.
  • USAMcK
    USAMcK Posts: 80 Member
    I am reminded every 600 seconds that people over the age of 50 don't know what a phone jack is.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    I help people do sometimes awful and always unwanted and unasked for things for good reasons.
    I relay message to people that they don't want to hear. I buy stuff. I do the thankless and "dirty" work. I'm also the complaints department.
  • ColtRocker
    ColtRocker Posts: 135 Member
    I put bad guys in "time out"
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