Can I back out of being a bridesmaid?

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Replies

  • JadeQuetzal
    JadeQuetzal Posts: 95 Member
    Personally, I'd back out. Any semi decent person would understand that extreme event location changes and date changes would mean that some guests have to cancel. But whatever you decide, let your friend know asap so they have a fair amount of time to fill the spot if needed.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Jackibrazil wrote: »
    My friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and I was so happy and said yes. She had a date and a venue. My other good friend asked me to be maid of honor and her wedding is 5 weeks after. Perfect right? Wrong. First friend wants to not only change her date to dangerously close to friend number two, but the wedding evolved to a destination wedding and now I'm expected to come up with $600 to pay for my hotel stay for TWO NIGHTS at this resort. She's buying the plane tickets, but I wasn't expecting to have to do this in addition to buying my dress, contributing to showers and bachelorette parties and such. What do you guys think?

    Yes back out.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    It’s called pulling out and your success rate may vary
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    How important is this person's friendship to you? More than $600?

    If you stay involved you will be out $600 or more.

    If you back out, you will be $600 richer and 1 friend poorer.

    Well I would hope the friend would be understanding so not 1 friend poorer.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    I think you are over youre head trying to do both pick one .
    The first one should be you're pick .
    As for having to pay money ... yeah that kind of comes with the deal .

    Not if it's costing $600 more.
    I would tell her the truth, I was not expecting this would cost so much. I do not have the money for all that the wedding will entail.
    Whatever you do, DO NOT go into debt for this wedding. It is not worth it.
    $600 may not seem a lot to some people, but when it comes to repay, it is a whole lot of money.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    How important is this person's friendship to you? More than $600?

    If you stay involved you will be out $600 or more.

    If you back out, you will be $600 richer and 1 friend poorer.

    Well I would hope the friend would be understanding so not 1 friend poorer.

    Don't count on it. This is what she conceives to be the most important day of her life. The world centers on her for one day.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    edited January 2018
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    Ok.... but what if she is just a slow reader. :smiley:
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    Ok.... but what if she is just a slow reader. :smiley:

    Wouldn't it have showed her as active by now if she was still slowly reading through all of the responses?
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    Ok.... but what if she is just a slow reader. :smiley:

    Wouldn't it have showed her as active by now if she was still slowly reading through all of the responses?

    Technically you don't have to sign in to read the forums. Maybe she's embarrassed. I hope she's ok. Now I'm worried.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    Ok.... but what if she is just a slow reader. :smiley:

    Wouldn't it have showed her as active by now if she was still slowly reading through all of the responses?

    Technically you don't have to sign in to read the forums. Maybe she's embarrassed. I hope she's ok. Now I'm worried.

    Maybe she wasn't murdered. It's quite possible she worked herself to death trying to make the money needed to be a participant in the weddings.
  • dadsafrantic
    dadsafrantic Posts: 186 Member
    don't do it.
  • Jackibrazil
    Jackibrazil Posts: 124 Member
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    LMAO.

    My friend changed plans a couple more times and then just went with the original plan to do a local wedding. I figured with the amount of times she'd changed her mind already I should just wait and see.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    Jackibrazil wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    LMAO.

    My friend changed plans a couple more times and then just went with the original plan to do a local wedding. I figured with the amount of times she'd changed her mind already I should just wait and see.

    OPs friend hacked her account after savagely murdering her in order to create an alibi
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    Do it sooner than later. If she's really your friend she will understand. Let her know that when you said yes, the dates, location and finances all worked but with a changed date, destination wedding it's no longer possible. but do it SOON so she can find a replacement.
  • aeloine
    aeloine Posts: 2,163 Member
    Most destination weddings don't have a bridal party for this reason. It's not affordable for everyone.
  • Jackibrazil
    Jackibrazil Posts: 124 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    Jackibrazil wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    OP hasn't been on since last month. Think it's safe to say that she took everyone's advice, tried to back out of being a bridesmaid, and her friend killed her in a fit of rage. Good going everyone, you caused another murder.

    LMAO.

    My friend changed plans a couple more times and then just went with the original plan to do a local wedding. I figured with the amount of times she'd changed her mind already I should just wait and see.

    OPs friend hacked her account after savagely murdering her in order to create an alibi

    Crap I've been found out.
  • whosshe
    whosshe Posts: 597 Member
    This whole situation is my worst nightmare. 10/10 would lock myself in my home and never befriend anyone again.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    Jackibrazil wrote: »
    My friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and I was so happy and said yes. She had a date and a venue. My other good friend asked me to be maid of honor and her wedding is 5 weeks after. Perfect right? Wrong. First friend wants to not only change her date to dangerously close to friend number two, but the wedding evolved to a destination wedding and now I'm expected to come up with $600 to pay for my hotel stay for TWO NIGHTS at this resort. She's buying the plane tickets, but I wasn't expecting to have to do this in addition to buying my dress, contributing to showers and bachelorette parties and such. What do you guys think?

    just be honest and tell her you cant afford it. if shes a true friend, shell totally understand.
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