Etiquette on PMs?

2

Replies

  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    jayemes wrote: »
    AliceDark wrote: »
    I I'm really not interested in just chatting with random people via PM.
    Good to know, since I was just going to pm you and ask you how your day was ;)

    No chatting for you! ;)
  • tammysneddon1
    tammysneddon1 Posts: 9 Member
    I’m with the As long as they are not creepy lol
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    i dont care if i get messages.

    unless its like one of the 3 i got this week that were all incarnations of 'you wanna hook up, girl'

    those get you blocked. lol


    Does that ever actually work in their favor? I feel like it had have worked at least once since people keep sending those types of messages. That or they are so desperate that all normal social etiquette goes out the window. My rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't say it to someone you are talking to in person, then it is not appropriate to send in a PM.

    I thought this was going to be etiquette on PMS and was legitimately looking forward to some answers

    The first rule about PMS is you don't talk about [someone else's] PMS.

    Second rule of PMS, chocolate and salty snacks MUST be available at all times.

  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    edited January 2018
    As long as the PM isn't creepy ...

    Aw man, you mean I can't send scary stories to random people?? Now my week is ruined.
  • WhereIsPJSoles
    WhereIsPJSoles Posts: 622 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »
    As long as the PM isn't creepy ...

    Aw man, you mean I can't send scary stories to random people?? Now my week is ruined.

    Please direct all these PMs to me
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,585 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    If it's polite, go for it. I second all the above for non creepy, non junk photo PMs.

    Might be controversial of me though but, if it's part of the forum conversation and there's no reason to want it private, leave it in the forum conversation. I get annoyed when people PM a continuation of a conversation I'm already having for no reason other than they want to one on one. Especially when you take umbrage to a point I make publicly and want to fight about it in private.

    But i also hate getting PMs and avoid answering where possible. I have the form and my wall to chat on. If you want to chat, send a friend request and then chat on my wall.

    Agreed.

    I agree with this too.
    The only times I have PMed off a thread was when a side comment peeked my interest and would take the thread off topic.

    There has been a few occasions where I have wished 2 people having an almost exclusive back and forth on someone else's thread would take it to PMing each other or start a new thread.
    Yes, I know some are split off and sent to discussion, but not all.

    For those obnoxious repeat PMers- shooting off a quick 'you do realize you are hitting on a 64yo' shuts them up pretty quick. For some reason hitting on one's grandma is not appealing.

    Cheers, h.

    IME, sometimes it's grandpa doing the hitting: Age appropriate, but still creepy.
  • W8WarI
    W8WarI Posts: 567 Member
    As long as they aren't of a flirtatious/sexual nature, they're fine; for me!
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    If it's polite, go for it. I second all the above for non creepy, non junk photo PMs.

    Might be controversial of me though but, if it's part of the forum conversation and there's no reason to want it private, leave it in the forum conversation. I get annoyed when people PM a continuation of a conversation I'm already having for no reason other than they want to one on one. Especially when you take umbrage to a point I make publicly and want to fight about it in private.

    But i also hate getting PMs and avoid answering where possible. I have the form and my wall to chat on. If you want to chat, send a friend request and then chat on my wall.

    Agreed.

    I agree with this too.
    The only times I have PMed off a thread was when a side comment peeked my interest and would take the thread off topic.

    There has been a few occasions where I have wished 2 people having an almost exclusive back and forth on someone else's thread would take it to PMing each other or start a new thread.
    Yes, I know some are split off and sent to discussion, but not all.

    For those obnoxious repeat PMers- shooting off a quick 'you do realize you are hitting on a 64yo' shuts them up pretty quick. For some reason hitting on one's grandma is not appealing.

    Cheers, h.

    IME, sometimes it's grandpa doing the hitting: Age appropriate, but still creepy.

    Yeah, I did have that happen, only once (he was still 10y younger), and a polite refusal worked.

    I think it is mainly young things that have just joined and do a bulk type PM to anyone and everyone, then repeat. They are the ones I point out my age to.

    Cheers, h.
  • WhereIsPJSoles
    WhereIsPJSoles Posts: 622 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    As long as the PM isn't creepy ...

    Aw man, you mean I can't send scary stories to random people?? Now my week is ruined.

    Please direct all these PMs to me

    This is kind of random but have you ever read "2 sentence scary stories"? There is one that really freaks me out. It goes: Lately I have been having to clean fingerprints off the outside of my window every morning. I live on the 3rd floor.

    Not sure why but it gives me the creeps.

    I love those.

    "Every night my daughter wakes me up, screaming. I've been to her grave to ask her to stop, but she won't."

    I got goosebumps
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    This is what I would prefer:
    If you want to sell something don't PM.
    If you want to criticize someone's lifestyle or eating habits don't PM.
    If you want to exchange pictures or flirt don't PM. Not a dating site.
    If you want to ask a question that is relavent to a discussion post in the thread or start a new thread about the point in question.
    If you want to ask a specific question unrelated to a discussion or offer some personal supportive message then PM. If someone replies positively to your message it is pretty nice to acknowledge that. Like if you called someone and asked a question and got an answer you'd say thanks before hanging up.
    If you want to add a friend it is nice to send a message introducing yourself.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »

    Thanks for doing that @elphie754. I was going to ask for more but didn't want to derail.

    Cheers, h.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    You can't send a "private message" to a person online and trust it to stay private.

    If it can be copied and pasted to a public discussion with @abbefaria4 as the author and you can then see it and you can be pleased that the whole world can see it, then it's probably ok.
  • lulalacroix
    lulalacroix Posts: 1,082 Member
    I would add not to send unsolicited advice via PM. I had a "friend" that would comment on my diary and tell me that I could improve my weight loss by eating the way that she did. I didn't ask for help and don't believe that her advice was helpful anyways. Very annoying.
  • paulawriteslove
    paulawriteslove Posts: 195 Member
    I love getting messages and supporting one another. But please please no talk about anything sexual!
  • beaglady
    beaglady Posts: 1,362 Member
    Thanks. Now I have creeps too. And I’m wondering how one would get to the outside of those wi Dow’s to clean them.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    3bambi3 wrote: »
    AnvilHead wrote: »
    #1 etiquette tip: Don't send pics of your junk.

    I feel like this should be rule #1 everywhere, because clearly people are confused these days.

    I once had a guy on another site pm me a pic of his duck and asked me to rate it out of 10....... how on earth does one respond to that other than to laugh
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    Civil, Respectful, and appropriate.

    Also, If it could have been included in part of the flow of conversation in the thread, include it.

    If it's a random tangent or specific detailed question, NBD. Although I still prefer to keep it public, since other people might be interested in the flow.

    Yeah, and no Junk pictures...

  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    @Tacklewasher That was so funny!!

    The first five times :unamused:
  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    @Tacklewasher That was so funny!!

    The first five times :unamused:

    It's all I've got so ppbbbbbhhhhh!!!!!!
  • sarahlifts
    sarahlifts Posts: 610 Member
    As long as the messages are not about the things I listed I'm not here for in my profile I'm good.

    Here is my list.

    Things I'm not here for, MLM schemes, Dating, "Clean eating" ,body shaming, diet shaming, Bro Science, Dating.

    If you send a message about any of ^^^^^ I ignore. I don't check messages often. I just come here to log my food and look in here to help myself stay on track and motivated. sometimes it takes a while for me to get back to people as I don't use the social aspect of my home page much.
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