How do you feel about cheating and would you forgive your partner if they did?

xmarye wrote: »

caco_ethes wrote: »

I know my opinion about this will be unpopular but bear with me. When you sit down and think about it, it’s really kind of strange that ‘cheating’ is a thing.

I know that the vast majority of people view it as morally wrong to ‘cheat’ ie be with someone else. But why do we see it as wrong? I’m not playing dumb, I’m just wondering what it stems from.

If you think about it from an evolutionary aspect, it’s a human drive to procreate. There was a time when it was essential to our survival to procreate like rabbits. Just as essential: eating. So why is it that when we find someone whom we trust and adore and want to be with and have kids with that we must expect them to deny a primal urge to prove how much they love us? I mean when you think about it, isn’t it kinda funny? It’s like marrying someone and being outraged to find out they’re eating carbs behind your back because if they really loved you, they’d deny that urge.

Basically my feeling is that I, in theory, want to show a man that I love him and trust him and enjoy him just as he is. No rules or obligations. He doesn’t owe me a thing. He doesn’t have to deny anything to prove himself to me. I think relationships like that would be more honest and fulfilling.

Like I said, I know it’s unpopular. And it’s just me musing really. I just wonder when it became a virtually worldwide social more. Back in old testament days those dudes had wives and concubines up the wazoo.

Well... Going with what you are trying to say, there are people that are more open-minded then others. My husband and I have included other people in our sex life at times. It was planned, we both agreed, there was no lies. We did it as a couple and had fun doing it. I didn't feel like I was any less important to him. I could NEVER have done this with my ex though... Trust is essential if you are going to let other people into your privacy like that. My husband communicated his desire to try different things, and how he would only do it with me and if I was okay with it. We talked about it for more then a year before it finally happened. We have no regrets, and I find it only brought us closer together.

So there are people and situations where you definitely can ''fulfill your primal instincts'' but I think it always comes back to honesty and respect.

Cheating means that you decided by yourself you were going to do something for your own pleasure, being selfish and neglecting the person that you're supposed to love and respect. Unless there's a mutual agreement prior, but then it wouldn't be called cheating...