FACEPALM. People who don't know what they're talking about AT ALL. I'm really just venting...
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I think the real issue here is that the OP entered the conversation saying "I" need to _________ , and the boss's wife replied with "No, you" need to _______. OP tried to keep her opinions as her opinions, and boss wife started inserting her own opinions onto OP.
Everyone has ways that work, or don't work, for them. Personally- I can't look at the scale every day. I get disheartened and discouraged, and am more likely to just "give up" because it's "not worth it". That's how my brain works. So, instead I find other ways to view my progress- like how I look and feel. Other people- they like seeing those numbers and that information. They like to keep track. That's how their brain works.
I think like all matters of debate, people have a tendency to view their way of thinking as "correct", so why doesn't everyone else think that way? We have to remember that we are all individuals, and we all have our way of looking at things. Give advise, sure. Have a conversation. Just don't try to push your ideals onto others.13 -
Thankfully a number of people in my office are on diets/workout regimes. There's a whole group wanting to do a 5K together. This makes the work environment a lot more "friendly" to those conversations. If anything, the people doing nothing are probably the ones feeling shamed right now.
Shoot, I felt a little shamed for not being able to do the 5K thing (I physically cannot run after breaking my leg) - but at least I can mention something about my food choices or workouts and not have to defend it tooth and nail!
Maybe it's just being in the area I'm in, I don't find it to be quite as much of an issue here as it was where I grew up. Not that there aren't groups where I've noticed it being an issue, but really, it's kind of a "read the crowd" situation. If most of the folks there are overweight, probably don't really talk about it!0 -
Thehardmakesitworthit wrote: »Oh, and I weigh myself almost every day. I am a data geek, and I find lots of data points more enlightening than once a week. It's all about how you handle the data once you have it.
I added Happy Scale to my phone for this purpose but mentally it kills me to input an upward number....but I am trying anyway because I see the value in it.
Yeah, I mean some people can never get over the stress of seeing the scale bounce around every day, and for those people logging once a week or every other week is probably best. But if you can start to get used to the roller coaster ride and see the patterns in what your weight does the day after a restaurant meal, after a long hike, after a night of drinking, at your TOM, it can be fascinating and I think easier to figure out what your maintenance weight range should be
Yes! I find the information invaluable! It was especially useful over Christmas when I ended up doing a cookie binge during the time I was supposed to be eating at maintenance. At one point in that couple of weeks my weight was up by 8 lbs., but I was able to not panic and not over-correct because I had seen my weight go up before in response to eating unholy amounts of carbs when my carb intake is normally toward the moderate to lowish range. And sure enough, most of it went away when I went back to regular eating
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HoneyBadger155 wrote: »Thankfully a number of people in my office are on diets/workout regimes. There's a whole group wanting to do a 5K together. This makes the work environment a lot more "friendly" to those conversations. If anything, the people doing nothing are probably the ones feeling shamed right now.
Shoot, I felt a little shamed for not being able to do the 5K thing (I physically cannot run after breaking my leg) - but at least I can mention something about my food choices or workouts and not have to defend it tooth and nail!
Maybe it's just being in the area I'm in, I don't find it to be quite as much of an issue here as it was where I grew up. Not that there aren't groups where I've noticed it being an issue, but really, it's kind of a "read the crowd" situation. If most of the folks there are overweight, probably don't really talk about it!
We've got a group of runners in our office, me being the last one to take it up.
I still don't talk food choices with them. We've got a vegetarian (the kind that eats fish), one who is adamant against aspartame and everything in between. I'm the only one of the group trying to lose weight, so I just keep on doing what's been working, albeit slower now.4 -
Most weight loss is in the kitchen, not the gym. Unless you are checking BMI, you have no idea what you lost if you're working out. I've lost 8 pounds in 3 days (yes water weight), but I haven't checked my BMI so I'm not that excited. My jeans are still tight so that's what matters.10
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DennysWifeMrsMattox wrote: »Most weight loss is in the kitchen, not the gym. Unless you are checking BMI, you have no idea what you lost if you're working out. I've lost 8 pounds in 3 days (yes water weight), but I haven't checked my BMI so I'm not that excited. My jeans are still tight so that's what matters.
Um, no. BMI is just a "measurement" relating weight to height. With BMI, you have no idea what you may have lost. BF% is what you'd want to track.10 -
janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics simply not talk to them.
Agreed.19 -
I keep everything with a "this is what worked for me" attitude. Not every plan one tries will work for all. It all depends. In general its 80% diet and 20% exercise. I have seen a nutritionist and I go to a personal trainer and they make a plan based on the individual not the group, I find it works a little better than way. Even if you do the same exercise as someone you guys can be using different weights, forms could be different. It's easiest to focus on you. I have people that I work out with and talk about diets and stuff with more for support.4
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janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.14 -
janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.
I agree with what you're saying, I should have been clearer in what I wrote. I do discuss other "sticky topics" (politics, culture, religion) with people in my life, I've just found that diet/fitness/nutrition tends (with the people I know) to go round and round without it feeling very constructive. Unlike, say, politics, where I feel like I can better understand where someone is coming from after a conversation (even if we still disagree).
I guess it's more interesting for me to have IRL debates that center on values and perceptions rather than "Well, Dr Oz swears that raspberry ketones work" or "my cousin lost 40 pounds after she detoxed" (not that all workplace diet conversations are like this, but all the ones in *my workplace* tend to be).4 -
I hear what everyone's saying about equating this to religion or politics. The place I worked before (and am returning to), the boss and I always talked about that sort of stuff, shared healthy recipes, no prob. I know she's been trying to lose weight as she's talked to me about it, otherwise I wouldn't have said what I said. I'm not offended by her response, I just think it's crazy lol. Here's the biggest problem I have with it: She has mentioned that she is on 1200 calories a day (as am I). However, she said that one "must weigh themselves EVERY day to see if what they are doing is working or not," meaning if it's not, you have to cut back some more. 1200 a day is the MINIMUM amount you should eat while trying to lose weight, there is no room to cut back as that's not safe. She also said, "it's about working out and not eating." So basically starving yourself.
I've no problem with someone who wants to weigh themselves everyday - I mean, do what you wanna do, doesn't make a lick of difference in my life. All I'm saying is, it's crazy to weigh yourself everyday and use THAT as your only compass for weight loss. To make changes to what you're currently doing because you're up or down on the scale over the course of a day or two just doesn't make sense. In order to healthily lose weight and form healthy habits for life, a person has got to understand that **even if you are meeting your calorie goals** weight can fluctuate day to day based on water weight, TOM, fitness habits, recent changes in routine, stress, etc. If a person can understand that, then they can have a healthy relationship with the scale. I'm just gonna leave this pic here because it's relevant to this conversation and it has been one of the most inspirational photos to me regarding the topic of weight.
Here's the link to the original post if you haven't come across it yet.2 -
The ones who drive me crazy are the MLM "coaches" who give fitness and nutrition advice but have no training or education. These are the people who tout egg whites, using 3 lb weights, and calculating BMI with weight and height. Smh...7
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janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.
I agree with what you're saying, I should have been clearer in what I wrote. I do discuss other "sticky topics" (politics, culture, religion) with people in my life, I've just found that diet/fitness/nutrition tends (with the people I know) to go round and round without it feeling very constructive. Unlike, say, politics, where I feel like I can better understand where someone is coming from after a conversation (even if we still disagree).
I guess it's more interesting for me to have IRL debates that center on values and perceptions rather than "Well, Dr Oz swears that raspberry ketones work" or "my cousin lost 40 pounds after she detoxed" (not that all workplace diet conversations are like this, but all the ones in *my workplace* tend to be).
I thought you were very clear, but I'm attempting to find common ground with you. This is key.
With all things it is all about how you say it, and very little about the topic. Comedians and salesmen and masters of this craft.2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.
I agree with what you're saying, I should have been clearer in what I wrote. I do discuss other "sticky topics" (politics, culture, religion) with people in my life, I've just found that diet/fitness/nutrition tends (with the people I know) to go round and round without it feeling very constructive. Unlike, say, politics, where I feel like I can better understand where someone is coming from after a conversation (even if we still disagree).
I guess it's more interesting for me to have IRL debates that center on values and perceptions rather than "Well, Dr Oz swears that raspberry ketones work" or "my cousin lost 40 pounds after she detoxed" (not that all workplace diet conversations are like this, but all the ones in *my workplace* tend to be).
I thought you were very clear, but I'm attempting to find common ground with you. This is key.
With all things it is all about how you say it, and very little about the topic. Comedians and salesmen and masters of this craft.
No, when I looked back at what I wrote in the context of your comments, I realized I didn't exactly *mean* what I wrote and I wanted to clarify. I don't think "pleasant topics" are the highest value (in the work place or generally) and if I read what I wrote, I would have concluded that is what I thought (I don't know if that is what you concluded, but I wanted to make sure).
It may be that it has more to do with me than the topic, but I *feel* like when I discuss things like politics and religion with people I disagree with (or to explore whether we agree), it feels like there is more potential for understanding someone's value system and how they seem the world. There is more opportunity for potential closeness, for me to learn new things, or for me to be challenged.
Now that I'm writing all this out, I'm willing to accept this has more to do with how I approach these different topics and conversations than something that is inherent to conversations about diet/weight loss.5 -
southrnchic479 wrote: »Small talk in the kitchen with boss's wife as she's heating up her nutrisystem soup thingy. I say, "I started lowering my carbs 2 weeks ago and lost 3 lbs in the first week but now I'm back up (2 lbs) because I've been working out. I know it was all water weight I shed and now it's water weight I'm retaining from my muscles repairing but you know....I just need to stop getting on the scale so often is what I need to do!"
Her response. "Oh, no. You HAVE to get on the scale every day. If you don't then you have no idea if what you're doing is working or not. It's just all about working out and not eating."
HAHAHAHA. Look I don't claim to know everything and I'm still learning a lot. But COME ON. Also, I'm not slamming anyone on nutrisystem because I really have never looked into it, but on the surface, it doesn't seem like something that leads to a healthy all over life change. Just sayin...anyway...ugh. Major eyeroll. LOL
This is exactly why I stay away from most nutrition and health talk at the office. I don't think anyone knows what they are talking about, and they certainly do not know more than me (not saying I know it all, I just know more than the idiots I work with). I work in a small office, so most people are very aware that I lost weight a few years back and remain very health and calorie conscious, and that I actively monitor my weight. I receive unsolicited advice regularly. In particular, there is a woman in my office who is quite literally 5 feet tall and about 350 lbs. - she can barely walk. She has seen fit to tell me about what I need to do and eat, my metabolism, eating late at night, not eating breakfast, etc etc etc. Nice lady but about the very last person I'd take any health advice from. I used to correct her about things, like how not eating breakfast is not killing my metabolism and slowing my progress, but eventually I stopped engaging with her about her "advice" and usually just say thanks and change the topic or walk away. I know she means well but it is so annoying.4 -
ladymarsyorkiemom wrote: »The ones who drive me crazy are the MLM "coaches" who give fitness and nutrition advice but have no training or education. These are the people who tout egg whites, using 3 lb weights, and calculating BMI with weight and height. Smh...
How else would you expect BMI to be calculated? Body mass index (BMI) is literally a metric based on height and weight.
I'm not really sure what is wrong with egg whites or 3 lb weights either, but complaining that BMI is calculated correctly seems pretty absurd to me.13 -
manderson27 wrote: »I have learned the hard way that while losing weight (32 pounds) nobody wants to hear about how you are doing it. They just want to tell you what you SHOULD be doing.
Still so much ignorance out there regarding weight loss it is sad.
It is also sad that it took me so long to find MFP and work out CICO is key instead of Slimming patches, pregnant yak urine and raspberry keytones.
Yes I was that person.
LOL, I was that person too, well maybe not the pregnant yak urine. It is still enticing when you see people who appear to drop weight taking some sort of supplement. I just keep telling myself it's all BS and move on.2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.
I agree with what you're saying, I should have been clearer in what I wrote. I do discuss other "sticky topics" (politics, culture, religion) with people in my life, I've just found that diet/fitness/nutrition tends (with the people I know) to go round and round without it feeling very constructive. Unlike, say, politics, where I feel like I can better understand where someone is coming from after a conversation (even if we still disagree).
I guess it's more interesting for me to have IRL debates that center on values and perceptions rather than "Well, Dr Oz swears that raspberry ketones work" or "my cousin lost 40 pounds after she detoxed" (not that all workplace diet conversations are like this, but all the ones in *my workplace* tend to be).
I thought you were very clear, but I'm attempting to find common ground with you. This is key.
With all things it is all about how you say it, and very little about the topic. Comedians and salesmen and masters of this craft.
No, when I looked back at what I wrote in the context of your comments, I realized I didn't exactly *mean* what I wrote and I wanted to clarify. I don't think "pleasant topics" are the highest value (in the work place or generally) and if I read what I wrote, I would have concluded that is what I thought (I don't know if that is what you concluded, but I wanted to make sure).
It may be that it has more to do with me than the topic, but I *feel* like when I discuss things like politics and religion with people I disagree with (or to explore whether we agree), it feels like there is more potential for understanding someone's value system and how they seem the world. There is more opportunity for potential closeness, for me to learn new things, or for me to be challenged.
Now that I'm writing all this out, I'm willing to accept this has more to do with how I approach these different topics and conversations than something that is inherent to conversations about diet/weight loss.
I think in all things it is more critical to understand why people think what they do. So in diet/nutrition it's "Ok you're doing low carb...Why?" The response you get is an indicator if people actually understand the information or simply parroting what they've heard. You only get an emotional rise in those who don't understand and now feel threatened as the potential of ignorance is exposed. There's nothing wrong with ignorance, yet the vast majority is terrified of not knowing - to the point most will openly lie rather than risk being outed from the masses.
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janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »This is why I avoid diet/fitness/nutrition small talk with 99% of the people in my life. People don't know what they don't know and it's easier to talk about more pleasant topics.
I'm going to disagree on principle. The absence of discussing sticky topics is one of the large contributing factors to the polarization of society. It is very necessary to purge that release valve periodically. Like any muscle or skill what we neglect atrophies and dies.
We are quickly losing the skill of conversation and the ability to agree to disagree.
Common ground is easily sought and of much more importance than uncommon ground.
I agree with what you're saying, I should have been clearer in what I wrote. I do discuss other "sticky topics" (politics, culture, religion) with people in my life, I've just found that diet/fitness/nutrition tends (with the people I know) to go round and round without it feeling very constructive. Unlike, say, politics, where I feel like I can better understand where someone is coming from after a conversation (even if we still disagree).
I guess it's more interesting for me to have IRL debates that center on values and perceptions rather than "Well, Dr Oz swears that raspberry ketones work" or "my cousin lost 40 pounds after she detoxed" (not that all workplace diet conversations are like this, but all the ones in *my workplace* tend to be).
I thought you were very clear, but I'm attempting to find common ground with you. This is key.
With all things it is all about how you say it, and very little about the topic. Comedians and salesmen and masters of this craft.
No, when I looked back at what I wrote in the context of your comments, I realized I didn't exactly *mean* what I wrote and I wanted to clarify. I don't think "pleasant topics" are the highest value (in the work place or generally) and if I read what I wrote, I would have concluded that is what I thought (I don't know if that is what you concluded, but I wanted to make sure).
It may be that it has more to do with me than the topic, but I *feel* like when I discuss things like politics and religion with people I disagree with (or to explore whether we agree), it feels like there is more potential for understanding someone's value system and how they seem the world. There is more opportunity for potential closeness, for me to learn new things, or for me to be challenged.
Now that I'm writing all this out, I'm willing to accept this has more to do with how I approach these different topics and conversations than something that is inherent to conversations about diet/weight loss.
I think in all things it is more critical to understand why people think what they do. So in diet/nutrition it's "Ok you're doing low carb...Why?" The response you get is an indicator if people actually understand the information or simply parroting what they've heard. You only get an emotional rise in those who don't understand and now feel threatened as the potential of ignorance is exposed. There's nothing wrong with ignorance, yet the vast majority is terrified of not knowing - to the point most will openly lie rather than risk being outed from the masses.
You've given me a good framework for thinking about this issue. Thank you for challenging me to think more deeply about this.6
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