Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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@louisepaul16 I'm wondering myself if my weekend drinking is just going to make it harder. I was dry all through Jan and then drank Fri-Sun. I found it a little hard to get back on track yesterday, but did. Just switched back to tea and it wasn't bad, but still it was a little tough. Just pondering what it's going to take to be "moderate."7
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@norminv, I agree with other post-ers that women are generally more socialized to be "sharers" and also that women drinking has really become a thing in recent years. I wish more men felt comfortable seeking support. I have a brother-in-law in Cleveland whom I saw this weekend. He could use the support of a group of caring people like this. And we would never throw things at you, norm.
I also hear the thing about the "cute" drinking slogans. My best friend (who's now been sober 4 years) and I used to exchange all those clever cards. I guess it was a way to rationalize our daily wine-fests. If they make cards about it, it must be "normal" behavior.
Day 16 for me. Nothing earth-shattering to report other than the fact that this group keeps me going. And it IS getting easier as time passes.9 -
D'oh. I drank last night. I knew I shouldn't but I was in a weird mood and tired after working out. Wine is my go to distressing method when I am tired. I tried to take a nap instead but I woke up and still wanted to drink. We spilt a bottle of wine.
Today is a new day. Today I will not drink.
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Good Morning all! I have not been on here for about 5 days but I just went through and read all the new posts. Whew! It's so motivating to me to read about everyone. As planned, I did drink through the horse show this weekend. I did not overdo it but I did drink Thurs-Sun. Saturday I came up sick and had to withdraw my horse from the show on Sunday. So, I was feeling very bummed so I drank Sunday when I didn't really need to. Although, it was Super Bowl (ha, excuses).
I worked sick yesterday and it was crazy busy (I'm an ER nurse). I, of course, then wanted to drink last night because I was still feeling miserable and sorry for myself. I actually did stop on my way home but they were out of the champagne I drink. I took it as an omen and came home. So AF last night as planned and for the rest of this month! Feel so good this morning despite my cold/flu thing.
Love all the motivating support here. I don't think I would be doing this without you all!!7 -
My husband and I had a non-alcoholic victory last night. Since January, we have both been working on our weight and have been cooking at home all most every single day. Last night, we had a date night to go see Trombone Shorty and we made reservations at a really nice Italian restaurant. Usually, we would order a nice big glass of red wine or two.. but for the first time in my life, I ordered a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, with limes and ice. We shared the whole bottle.. and dressing it up with lime in a cute little glass made it feel special. We didn't miss the wine at all. We enjoyed ourselves at dinner and at the concert and danced.. but not like the drunk guy that was falling on everyone! :-) so victory for us and I am looking forward to my trip now, knowing, I can eat out, and NOT order the beer/wine/cocktail.8
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PhotogirlTX wrote: »My husband and I had a non-alcoholic victory last night. Since January, we have both been working on our weight and have been cooking at home all most every single day. Last night, we had a date night to go see Trombone Shorty and we made reservations at a really nice Italian restaurant. Usually, we would order a nice big glass of red wine or two.. but for the first time in my life, I ordered a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, with limes and ice. We shared the whole bottle.. and dressing it up with lime in a cute little glass made it feel special. We didn't miss the wine at all. We enjoyed ourselves at dinner and at the concert and danced.. but not like the drunk guy that was falling on everyone! :-) so victory for us and I am looking forward to my trip now, knowing, I can eat out, and NOT order the beer/wine/cocktail.
Well done! And it was a nice reminder to see the drunk guy and be thankful it was you!2 -
PhotogirlTX wrote: »My husband and I had a non-alcoholic victory last night. Since January, we have both been working on our weight and have been cooking at home all most every single day. Last night, we had a date night to go see Trombone Shorty and we made reservations at a really nice Italian restaurant. Usually, we would order a nice big glass of red wine or two.. but for the first time in my life, I ordered a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, with limes and ice. We shared the whole bottle.. and dressing it up with lime in a cute little glass made it feel special. We didn't miss the wine at all. We enjoyed ourselves at dinner and at the concert and danced.. but not like the drunk guy that was falling on everyone! :-) so victory for us and I am looking forward to my trip now, knowing, I can eat out, and NOT order the beer/wine/cocktail.
I LOVE Trombone Shorty! So good!1 -
You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Hm, interesting post! A lot of the men I know don’t think their drinking is a problem - I feel like the health aspects of drinking are being more targeted toward women now (for example the breast cancer link) and it’s true that studies show alcohol more adversely effects women than men. And yes, I do think women are more apt to share their struggles. My husband keeps everything in and would Never post on a board like this. But I definitely don’t think it’s that more women struggle than men.3 -
Maybe try going without for the whole month and then try getting back in with one or two drinks then stop. I am trying to practice moderation so I am trying to go without and then ease back in. I know I will never stop drinking but I just need to have a turn off button when I get that buzz.
I’m such a fan of the month off now!!! I haven’t been able to moderate (for years!) and after doing dry January - it’s so much easier to commit to nights off and and it’s been easy and I actually “enjoy” wine free nights - love it!3 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »islandbeez wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Also, men were predominantly the heavy drinkers for decades and now women drinking has increased considerably, along with the elderly. It's scary, all these cute little wine sayings we laugh at and yet the effects of alcohol abuse hit women earlier. I just threw out my cute little wall hanging it said, "Wine a bit, you'll feel better". My mom gave it to me. She has never been a drinker and is very intolerant of drinkers....yet she got it for me? Messed up AF!
I recently threw away two of those wooden little signs like "Wine is better with friends" or or something like that. I realized it was sending a negative message to my teenagers. I don't want them to think you can only have fun drinking. Makes me regret all the parties we've had where people were shouting happily and doing shots, and the kids would be there. Ugh. I cringe now at those memories.
Yes! The example for my small kids is like my number one driver. When your kids ask you if you need wine at the store when there is none in your cart, I think theirs a problem. I don’t want them to remember me with a glass of wine in my hand every evening. Sure, occasionally is ok, but I want them to see me as a sparkling water and tea mom instead of a wine mom January was great for changing everything.4 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »JulieAL1969 wrote: »islandbeez wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Also, men were predominantly the heavy drinkers for decades and now women drinking has increased considerably, along with the elderly. It's scary, all these cute little wine sayings we laugh at and yet the effects of alcohol abuse hit women earlier. I just threw out my cute little wall hanging it said, "Wine a bit, you'll feel better". My mom gave it to me. She has never been a drinker and is very intolerant of drinkers....yet she got it for me? Messed up AF!
I recently threw away two of those wooden little signs like "Wine is better with friends" or or something like that. I realized it was sending a negative message to my teenagers. I don't want them to think you can only have fun drinking. Makes me regret all the parties we've had where people were shouting happily and doing shots, and the kids would be there. Ugh. I cringe now at those memories.
Yes! The example for my small kids is like my number one driver. When your kids ask you if you need wine at the store when there is none in your cart, I think theirs a problem. I don’t want them to remember me with a glass of wine in my hand every evening. Sure, occasionally is ok, but I want them to see me as a sparkling water and tea mom instead of a wine mom January was great for changing everything.
My kids tease me, as does my husband - about needing a glass of wine when I get agitated. I also want to subtly change their perception without it being a big deal. I still intend to enjoy my wine, in moderation, but I don't want it to be seen as "mommy's sippy cup" or "mommy's stress relief". I've been making a point about how much I enjoy my tea -but also not making a big deal about cutting back on alcohol, because I don't want them to think there was something to be concerned about.6 -
lporter229 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »And thank you for letting me vent here. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this who understands, so this place is very helpful.
Vent away. I totally get where you are coming from. I have struggled with these same dilemmas myself, as I would guess many of us have. I have found that having a solid plan in advance and sticking to it has been working for me right now. In the past when I have tried to limit my drinking, it was always pretty arbitrary in terms of how much I was going to drink once I started. I would tell myself that I wasn't going to drink much, but without having that pre-defined limit etched in my brain, I would almost always blow it out of the water. I know that once I go past that second drink, it's over. So I decide in advance...one drink or two drinks. If it's going to be a long evening out and I can space them out well, then I will allow myself a third, as long as I know that I am still in control. I have managed to keep this up throughout January and so far this month and I feel really good about the progress I have made... and this thread has been a huge help. I am hoping I can continue on this path of moderation. It has been nice to not have any hangovers in over 5 weeks.
I am not sure if this type of plan will work for you or not. I guess it is very individual what each of us hopes to get out of this "experiment", as you said. Wishing you the best however you decide to proceed. This group is always here for you to offer encouragement from all places along the spectrum. *hugs*
I think that's exactly how I'm going to proceed. I mean, I don't have a wedding to attend every weekend thank god. So that was a special event. Moving forward in normal life, I'm pretty sure I can hold it together. But I agree with you, lporter, deciding how much I will have before even going out will help me in the future.2 -
WOW....this group is really growing and everyones input is very moving.
Have to admit I do not like any wine so that is never a problem for me. Mimosas yes because the champagne is combined with orange juice in the glass. This morning as was Googling mocktails. An ad popped up on my page for an app you can get on your phone that lets you know about drinks to order with more "buzz" and less calories. REALLY?? That's just what we all don't' need.
As far as the ratio of women to men. I have been on other threads for fitness workouts and there were always more women then men. Unless it was a thread started by a man. But for sure I don't believe one gender or the other is worse off by alcohol. There is a great song by Highway 101, "Whiskey, if you were a woman". There were many times with my first husband and his drinking I would get in my car and just drive for hours playing and singing that song in my car.2 -
PhotogirlTX wrote: »I ordered a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, with limes and ice. We shared the whole bottle.. and dressing it up with lime in a cute little glass made it feel special. We didn't miss the wine at all.
Wow, that's impressive. I'm going to steal that idea - nice going!
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My phone has been acting up for the last few days so I couldn't get here. So far February is a fail for me. I've gone over my limit every day. I am finding that if I'm hungry I drink more. I'll just have to fill up I guess! Anyway I'm happy I got back here, hopefully I can get here regularly again!6
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springsweet wrote: »And thank you for letting me vent here. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this who understands, so this place is very helpful.
sounds like a tough weekend. I think you are asking the right questions and have good insights about yourself and your drinking. don't get discouraged. you'll get there. take care.4 -
I'm in. Yall have my support. Alcohol has contributed to a lot of excess calories and excess toxic waste in my body. I'm tired of it and I'm actively making a change. Had one drink all week which I think is good for right now. I used to have wine every night, and more than one glass. I'm not doing that to myself any more. Once a week for a while until I can cut it back even further.6
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SanDiegofitmom wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Hm, interesting post! A lot of the men I know don’t think their drinking is a problem - I feel like the health aspects of drinking are being more targeted toward women now (for example the breast cancer link) and it’s true that studies show alcohol more adversely effects women than men. And yes, I do think women are more apt to share their struggles. My husband keeps everything in and would Never post on a board like this. But I definitely don’t think it’s that more women struggle than men.
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lporter229 wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>1 -
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