Dating struggles...frustrated and sad.

missyj1115 wrote: »

I have been single for 7 years and yes it is sad, the dating world is definitely not what it used to be! Online seems to give not only men but women a false sense of expectations that are not seemed to be met in person. I did not try dating for 2 1/2 years after my divorce just worked on myself and finding me again. In these past 4 1/2 years of putting myself out there it has been emotionally draining to say the least.

On my profiles I have actually had to put the following; I am not a cougar looking to play out your fantasy's nor am I looking for a much older sugar daddy, I am not bi looking to be a couples playmate, I am not a sub looking for her dom, I will not marry you just to help raise your 7 children, I am not the occasional hook up as you are passing through town nor am I looking for Fu** buddies!! I have been through the ringer so needless to say dates have been few and far in between for me but if you don't keep putting yourself out there are you prepared to spend the rest of your days not knowing?

I hate it I do, do they like me? Do I like them? Am I to picky? Should I settle? (HELL NO NEVER AGAIN) Am I to big? (Who the hell cares) You need to love yourself for who you are before you can expect someone to love and care for you. To all those boys who don't call back or want that second date as much as it might hurt.. Good Riddance you don't want someone in your life that doesn't want to be there.

I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone and as frustrating as it is to wait and wait and wait and wait it is a necessary evil I suppose. I am a single mom full time that works to provide a life for us and have little time to go out searching as to why I am on these sites as well. Who knows maybe one day I will have my Hallmark moment and bump into someone but for the time being I have to sift through all the frogs until I find my prince!! Good Luck to you hun and never settle no matter how much you may miss having that someone in your life, you are better than that never forget that!!!

caiteh86 wrote: »

So, I've been overweight for the past 5 years or so, but single for almost a year now (my boyfriend actually passed away suddenly in March of 2017). In November, I decided that enough was enough and it was time to make my health and well being a priority. I started working out at least 3 times a week (heavy lifting, a bit of cardio and recently yoga at home on my off days) and counting calories, being more conscious of what I'm eating and how much. I'm loving this new lifestyle and I can tell there's been a huge shift in my thinking...I'll never go back to my old way of life, I know this. That being said, when I started in November I was 228lbs... I'm now 213, so still very overweight, but figured it was time to get back out into the dating world. I get quite a bit of attention on tinder, Bumble, etc and have gone out on numerous dates over the past few months. We always have a very nice time, the dates always last at least a couple of hours and they always end with the guy saying "I had fun, we should do this again". The only issue? I never hear from them again, unless I contact them first. Usually there's a bit of back and forth convo, maybe a few pics sent and received... but no talk of a second date. I never end up seeing them again. I've met probably 10-12 guys, 2 of them I wasn't interested in, the rest I definitely would have gone out with again if it was an option...but it wasn't. Needless to say, I feel really depressed over this and can't help but feel like I'm "too overweight" to date. I'm 31 and not getting any younger, and still have hopes and dreams of getting married and having children one day... but that's not gonna happen if things keep going like they have been. It's not like I'm only meeting a certain type of guy, either... I've met guys 10 years older, a few years younger, fit, overweight, full head of hair, bald, kids, no kids.... doesn't matter. None of them like me. I feel like giving up completely until I'm at my goal weight...

xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »

Very sorry for your loss, and congratulations on taking the steps to improve your health @caiteh86

As to dating, there's a number of reasons why. Most of which it sounds like has been covered. It sucks that a lot of people don't follow through with enjoying time spent with somone, and they tend to ghost them. Could be solely because they only want to date, they're only looking for easy hookups, or perhaps they just don't have the courage to tell someone they aren't interested.

From a guy's perspective, I've not had much luck with apps such as Tinder, PoF, etc. Or, even Match (my account is active, I just removed profile due to no responses/messages. Waiting for it to expire now). But, I'm also extremely busy and don't leave much time for dating due to involvements in activities, work, schooling, etc. So, I really don't even have time to fret over not having dates. Happily single is how I view it.

If you'd like, there is a "Singles Hangout" thread that is fairly active: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10213897/the-singles-hangout#latest

Avocado_AS5 wrote: »

We live in a world now where everyone wants instant gratification. If someone doesn't find everything they've dreamed of in a person on the very first date, they can justify moving on to the next easy opportunity.

Avocado_AS5 wrote: »

We live in a world now where everyone wants instant gratification. If someone doesn't find everything they've dreamed of in a person on the very first date, they can justify moving on to the next easy opportunity.

VelvetTeddyX wrote: »

Timshel_ wrote: »

I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.

Timshel_ wrote: »

I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.

That’s an awful reason to stay married...? If you don’t want to be with your partner they deserve freedom I hate people like this..

caiteh86 wrote: »

So, I've been overweight for the past 5 years or so, but single for almost a year now (my boyfriend actually passed away suddenly in March of 2017). In November, I decided that enough was enough and it was time to make my health and well being a priority. I started working out at least 3 times a week (heavy lifting, a bit of cardio and recently yoga at home on my off days) and counting calories, being more conscious of what I'm eating and how much. I'm loving this new lifestyle and I can tell there's been a huge shift in my thinking...I'll never go back to my old way of life, I know this. That being said, when I started in November I was 228lbs... I'm now 213, so still very overweight, but figured it was time to get back out into the dating world. I get quite a bit of attention on tinder, Bumble, etc and have gone out on numerous dates over the past few months. We always have a very nice time, the dates always last at least a couple of hours and they always end with the guy saying "I had fun, we should do this again". The only issue? I never hear from them again, unless I contact them first. Usually there's a bit of back and forth convo, maybe a few pics sent and received... but no talk of a second date. I never end up seeing them again. I've met probably 10-12 guys, 2 of them I wasn't interested in, the rest I definitely would have gone out with again if it was an option...but it wasn't. Needless to say, I feel really depressed over this and can't help but feel like I'm "too overweight" to date. I'm 31 and not getting any younger, and still have hopes and dreams of getting married and having children one day... but that's not gonna happen if things keep going like they have been. It's not like I'm only meeting a certain type of guy, either... I've met guys 10 years older, a few years younger, fit, overweight, full head of hair, bald, kids, no kids.... doesn't matter. None of them like me. I feel like giving up completely until I'm at my goal weight...