Dating struggles...frustrated and sad.

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  • VelvetTeddyX
    VelvetTeddyX Posts: 97 Member
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    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.

    That’s an awful reason to stay married...? If you don’t want to be with your partner they deserve freedom :/ I hate people like this..
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
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    VelvetTeddyX wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.

    That’s an awful reason to stay married...? If you don’t want to be with your partner they deserve freedom :/ I hate people like this..

    I agree with this.
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
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    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    We live in a world now where everyone wants instant gratification. If someone doesn't find everything they've dreamed of in a person on the very first date, they can justify moving on to the next easy opportunity.

    And I agree with this
  • buggsby83
    buggsby83 Posts: 52 Member
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    I don't know if this will help you feel better but imo you're super pretty! I agree with most of the posters here; it's not you. Some people are only in it for one thing and they aren't even looking for a serious relationship. It sounds like you're looking for The One and it's totally okay to keep looking till you find someone that clicks with you.

    Also! Big advice from me (as someone who fell into a marriage at 330 pounds because I was insecure and young) try not to be blinded by compliments. Us big girls have it hard when people start paying real attention to us cuz we're not used to it mostly, and it can be really easy to fall for the first guy to rev his motors at you. Be careful hon, you're worth it!
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
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    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    We live in a world now where everyone wants instant gratification. If someone doesn't find everything they've dreamed of in a person on the very first date, they can justify moving on to the next easy opportunity.

    I'm one that rarely goes on more than one date and it's not because the guys weren't everything I dreamed of. It's because there wasn't any chemistry on my part and that's non-negotiable for me. I tell people all the time that the guys I've met and didn't see again are great guys, just not right for me. I hope they all find the person that is right for them and they are right for... and maybe I will find that person too.
  • dwrightlaw
    dwrightlaw Posts: 804 Member
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    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    We live in a world now where everyone wants instant gratification. If someone doesn't find everything they've dreamed of in a person on the very first date, they can justify moving on to the next easy opportunity.

    Indeed
  • Charlottechar90
    Charlottechar90 Posts: 24 Member
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    Stop looking concentrate on you enjoy every day and the perfect person for you will come along with out you trying to find them just enjoy your life for now your a beautiful lady as firnthe dates its there loss not yours
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    VelvetTeddyX wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I stay married because I can't imagine dating. Too many friends gong through it and just seems there is a lot more BS overall out there than real people.

    That’s an awful reason to stay married...? If you don’t want to be with your partner they deserve freedom :/ I hate people like this..

    I know. But she has money so I don't have to work much, which is a nice perk of it all. I would rather have love, but I am too comfortable where I am. But I get ya.
  • ClayBengal
    ClayBengal Posts: 124 Member
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    I wouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself. Live life to the fullest and someone will see you for the pretty person you are inside and out.
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
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    Its a good idea to focus on yourself, hit the gym, work on your degree. Give to yourself what you seek in someone else and the anxiety in finding "the perfect partner" will vamoose... because you are already fulfilled within... If he is ghosting you let him go. Boy Bye. And don't ever let the actions of another define or determine how you feel about yourself. You'll soon have your mojo back and what is best for you will simply present itself, don't swim against the current... Sorry for all the so called cliches but I find most if not all to be true. Best of luck girl!
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,910 Member
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    laprimaJenny wrote: »
    I really don't have any advice but I can say that dating in today's world seems hard. I'm grateful I am not in that scenario. Maybe I'm wrong but it seems that no one dates anymore and no one is willing to get to know each other. I bet if for one second if we as a society stopped caring about ourselves in our own self-absorbed worlds of Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter we could actually see the amazing people the world has to offer. Why does it seem as if we live in such a era of emotionally unavailable people!

    Best comment/wise words I have heard in awhile!
  • Svanel
    Svanel Posts: 6,255 Member
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    caiteh86 wrote: »
    So, I've been overweight for the past 5 years or so, but single for almost a year now (my boyfriend actually passed away suddenly in March of 2017). In November, I decided that enough was enough and it was time to make my health and well being a priority. I started working out at least 3 times a week (heavy lifting, a bit of cardio and recently yoga at home on my off days) and counting calories, being more conscious of what I'm eating and how much. I'm loving this new lifestyle and I can tell there's been a huge shift in my thinking...I'll never go back to my old way of life, I know this. That being said, when I started in November I was 228lbs... I'm now 213, so still very overweight, but figured it was time to get back out into the dating world. I get quite a bit of attention on tinder, Bumble, etc and have gone out on numerous dates over the past few months. We always have a very nice time, the dates always last at least a couple of hours and they always end with the guy saying "I had fun, we should do this again". The only issue? I never hear from them again, unless I contact them first. Usually there's a bit of back and forth convo, maybe a few pics sent and received... but no talk of a second date. I never end up seeing them again. I've met probably 10-12 guys, 2 of them I wasn't interested in, the rest I definitely would have gone out with again if it was an option...but it wasn't. Needless to say, I feel really depressed over this and can't help but feel like I'm "too overweight" to date. I'm 31 and not getting any younger, and still have hopes and dreams of getting married and having children one day... but that's not gonna happen if things keep going like they have been. It's not like I'm only meeting a certain type of guy, either... I've met guys 10 years older, a few years younger, fit, overweight, full head of hair, bald, kids, no kids.... doesn't matter. None of them like me. :( I feel like giving up completely until I'm at my goal weight...

    I'm not sure what to say really. I've been single for three years now. I've never had much of a problem with being asked out. That was my biggest problem. Every relationship I've ever had lasted several years, but, they all ended badly. A few months later, I'd find myself dating someone new, never allowing myself the chance to heal and find out exactly who I am, i.e. what kind of music I actually liked - not something that I listened to because someone else liked it and I just happened to be there, what kind of foods I happened to favor more than others, etc. etc. After the last relationship I was in ended(lasted five years), I decided to jump off the dating train and rediscover who I am. I've been asked out along the way but I've not had any interest so far in dating. I don't want to rush into another relationship without being truly happy and confident in who I am or will become. If I'm not happy in my own skin, how can I be happy with someone else? Why would I put someone else through that? Everyone deserves their happiness. Take from this what you will - sorry, I just started rambling a bit. I guess what I'm trying to impart is focus on you. Be happy with you first, know your worth and you'll eventually meet someone who will value you and be more than happy to date you past that first/second date.

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