So you’ve lost the weight...
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I’d have to say yes. My family acts like I’m withering away and any time I go to visit they’re forcing food on me. Lol I understand love and food correlate but that’s how I gained weight in the first place and they don’t see that.3
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I got noticeably more second interviews and job offers while having the same experience.7
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Yes, people definitely treat me differently. Strangers in general are much nicer and more accomodating. I get called "honey" and "sweetheart" a lot now, especially by men. I dunno what that's about.3
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I've found that certain people have treated me differently since I've lost weight. A guy that used to bully me in high school attempted to flirt with me and try to meet up when I first started losing weight despite the fact he was one of the people that bullied me and my friend for our appearances.
My family haven't. They just ask me how I am, ask me about the gym and stuff and that's it.
Friends, however, is a different story. I lost friends when I started to lose weight. They told me that I've changed but all that had happened was that I finally grew confidence, became more comfortable with myself and finally started to put my foot down and say no when I wasn't happy with something. But to them I was a terrible person19 -
No...0
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Family and friends minimal change (their has been a bit of jealousy from a couple acquaintances). Have definitely noticed a difference when interacting with strangers though and how they percieve me.3
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This is one of the things I'm curious about. I'm still in the process of losing weight but I've been heavy my entire life so I wonder if/how things will change. I doubt friends and family will treat me any different but I don't know how interactions with strangers will be..1
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Strangers most definitely treat you differently when you lose a significant amount of weight. When I was heavy, there were times when I was treated with condescension and outright rudeness; most notably, when I had to sit between two men (who admittedly were also obese) on an airplane.
Once I began to lose weight, people were generally friendlier; in fact, I got hit on several times in public. Now that I'm heavier again and trying to lose weight once more, I can tell you I haven't been hit on by a stranger in a while!
Friends and family tend to doubt your ability to lose weight, then cheer you on as they begin to see noticeable changes. However, at a certain point, I found out that some of my friends and family believed that all I focused on was weight loss and I became a little egocentric which, to be fair, was probably true. I got wrapped up in my success and wanted it to continue for as long as possible. I also experienced a little envy and a few pointed comments about how I'd gain it all back. While I didn't gain it all back, I ended up gaining 40% of the initial weight loss.
I'm back at it because I want to maintain a healthier lifestyle. If others choose to treat me differently, it's outside my control.10 -
Wow0
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Friends, however, is a different story. I lost friends when I started to lose weight. They told me that I've changed but all that had happened was that I finally grew confidence, became more comfortable with myself and finally started to put my foot down and say no when I wasn't happy with something. But to them I was a terrible person[/quote]
This is one of my biggest fears about the whole process! I know it's good for me. But it's scary!
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Not treated differently in general (my weight loss was not that significant), although I get comments from some friends and family that my husband and I are now too thin. A friend said we look like we just came out of Auschwitz. I'm on the middle-upper end of normal BMI, definitely no cause for alarm. I don't know why people make comments like this.9
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Hmm. I’ve been struggling with this lately. I am most grateful for those who don’t make a fuss about it and treat me exactly the same. It’s obviously noticeable (55 lbs) but I’ve gotten comments like “you look like a totally different person”. That puzzled/bugged me for a while, but now I’m grateful to have heard it because I have literally had people not recognize me. While strangers seem to treat me “more nicely”, the thing I’ve been struggling with is that professionally, I feel a little more “dismissed”, which is shocking for me. Specifically while walking into situations where people may not know me very well - I feel like I have to work harder to be heard/input to be taken seriously. WTF is that about?!? I have not lost brain power or expertise along with excess fat... it is the weirdest thing!!!! Anyone else experience this?!?4
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ValeriePlz wrote: »Not treated differently in general (my weight loss was not that significant), although I get comments from some friends and family that my husband and I are now too thin. A friend said we look like we just came out of Auschwitz. I'm on the middle-upper end of normal BMI, definitely no cause for alarm. I don't know why people make comments like this.
If someone said something like that to me I couldn't let it slide. I would say "what provoked such an ugly comment? Auschwitz is nothing to make a joke about. Unthinkable Horrors happened to people there. Why would you say something like that to me?"
A lot of times people say these hideous comments simply because we let them.10 -
Friends, however, is a different story. I lost friends when I started to lose weight. They told me that I've changed but all that had happened was that I finally grew confidence, became more comfortable with myself and finally started to put my foot down and say no when I wasn't happy with something. But to them I was a terrible person
This is one of my biggest fears about the whole process! I know it's good for me. But it's scary!
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Are these friends that you've lost overweight? Makes me think of the spouses on my 600 pound life who don't want their spouse to lose weight and be healthy... Because it makes them feel better about themselves2 -
Definitely. The treatment now is good, but there've been some frustrating revelations.
My family keeps telling me how proud they are—something that never happens in my family. Understand that our family keeps conversations VERY superficial, we don't get personal. So imagine my surprise when I've lost 80 pounds and they start telling me how they were "so worried about my weight" and "thought I'd die an early death from being overweight." I appreciate that they're proud of me, but why couldn't they have voiced their concerns when I actually needed to hear it?
Friends regularly remark on how impressed they are, and that's nice. I've also noticed that interactions with strangers are better, too. I'm taken more seriously, I'm not brushed off or ignored, people seem more likely to strike up a conversation with me. And I'm no less friendly now (I think) than when I weighed north of 300.
It's nice for me, but it makes me wonder why it's so hard for people to be more considerate toward the obese.10 -
Not really. I am asked out by fit men, which is new to me.2
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Three years ago I lost 50 lbs. Got lots of compliments even from people with whom I share a mutual dislike. That was about the extent of it.
But the one person I most wanted to hear from, my husband, remained silent, as if I didn't just lose an amazing amount of weight.
I ended up gaining it all back because for various reasons I gave up.
This time I expect more of the same except I am not going to expect anything from my husband, nor am I going to give up.
Nobody really treated me differently; just were complimentary.
Maybe just read your husbands silence as " Honey, I love you through thick and thin."
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corinasue1143 wrote: »Three years ago I lost 50 lbs. Got lots of compliments even from people with whom I share a mutual dislike. That was about the extent of it.
But the one person I most wanted to hear from, my husband, remained silent, as if I didn't just lose an amazing amount of weight.
I ended up gaining it all back because for various reasons I gave up.
This time I expect more of the same except I am not going to expect anything from my husband, nor am I going to give up.
Nobody really treated me differently; just were complimentary.
Maybe just read your husbands silence as " Honey, I love you through thick and thin."
I no longer assume anything. It's much safer than expectations.5 -
Yup, in a positive way...but a positive way that also pisses me off. Like...oh, now you want to tell me I'm gorgeous and you'd love to take me out but 120lbs ago you pretended like I didn't exist? ehhhh...ok.6
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It’s harder to find clothes in my new sizes than in my old sizes.
People congratulate me on my body now. No one congratulated me on my body before.
Things are made to fit the body I have now. Airline seats are plenty wide enough and no one seems upset at the idea of sitting next to me.
People assume that I don’t eat various things, particularly bread or sweets. I eat chocolate every day and rice several times a week.
No one seems surprised to see me exercising now, nor do they seem to think I’m doing an exceptionally great job at that exercise.
Some family members think I’m “too skinny,” despite being right in the middle of the optimal BMI range for my height.
I have to agree with apullum, people assume i don't eat various things too. I remember planning to go out with family and friends when one of them told me " you don't eat burgers right? so is it OK if we go here?" , ummm heck ya i eat burgers!! I just calculate my calories for it. Also, still need to lose a few more pounds to get to the normal BMI and people freak out thinking I am to skinny and any more they think is to much. Sorry.. not sorry but i am doing this for me and I have a goal that i want to accomplish.2
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