Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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Well, last night was a big failure. I had been very happy with how I had been able to moderate for the past 5 or so weeks, but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that a failure was coming. I say this mostly because trying to drink moderately was taking way more effort than it should have. I didn't go way overboard, but I did drink more than I had planned and enough to make me feel like crap today. It started with me pouring a glass of wine from a bottle that had about 13 oz left in it while I was cooking dinner. I think I knew right there that I was going to finish the wine and that would have been okay because that is just slightly over 2 drinks. But then my husband decided to make a Manhattan, to which I said, "That looks good. Make me one too". Long story short, my night ended with me drinking a double Manhattan, 13 oz of wine and polishing off a bag of potato chips with me husband. I woke up feeling crappy and did not do my morning yoga as planned.
So, I think I still have to re-evaluate my ability to "moderate". I can do okay for a while, but then I have those days like yesterday. I guess I have to decide if I am okay with this (I think I am not), because I know in my mind that as long as I continue to allow alcohol in my life, those "days" are going to happen. I am going to try and continue to moderate as planned for the rest of the month. I will be turning 46 on the last day of February. If I decide to try and eliminate alcohol completely, I think that starting my 47th year off with a fresh start on March first would be a great way to do it. We shall see.
If nothing else, this thread has definitely made me do some serious soul searching these past few weeks.
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@lporter229
Like you I am still evaluating/soul searching. I had one of "those" days the last day of january. I drank 3 glasses of wine at a happy hour then we went to book club (which usually results in 15 tipsy women even without pre-drinks). It was a passout kind of night and my only true (terrible) hangover of 2018. My husband was kind of annoyed that i never texted and an uber dropped me off at 2am.... but he actualky said somethibg kind of like "i accept that this is who you are".
Got me thinking...yeah..but do i accept being this person? Can i be something else? Do i truly want to be? What is the frequency with which i will accept nights like that in my life?
I dont want to beat myself as i am definitely improving my ability to moderate...but its important to keep evaluating. So many layers!!!6 -
I am in! I did Dry January successfully and had great plans of moderating in February. So far I have not been terribly successful and had one major WTF day this week that I am still paying for. It frustrates me and does not make me feel very good about myself. I recovered yesterday and getting my priorities in order. I am starting to make progress dropping some fat and I know my wine habit it hampering my progress. I love that this thread looks super open and honest and real. We all need the support! I plan on having 1-2 beers with my dinner tonight after a board meeting I have to attend. I plan to moderate through the weekend and take some days off at the beginning of the week. There. I said it. Now I have to do it.9
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I planned an outing with my cousin who is my partner in crime and with whom I always end up drinking too much. I did this as a test to myself to see if I can be strong and not overdo it with the drinking. I cant just not hang out with her anymore just because I can't control myself. This is my test to practice moderation.
I planned dinner and a play.7 -
I’m also trying to work out what moderation for me is. 2 glasses on one night a week might be it. Since Jan 1, I’ve had 4 drinks in total on 2 different Saturdays and noticed worse sleep on both nights. I think going to be largely dry until mid-March will help decide if I do that or go totally dry. The more weekends I don’t drink, the easier it is getting.5
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I am in! I did Dry January successfully and had great plans of moderating in February. So far I have not been terribly successful and had one major WTF day this week that I am still paying for. It frustrates me and does not make me feel very good about myself. I recovered yesterday and getting my priorities in order. I am starting to make progress dropping some fat and I know my wine habit it hampering my progress. I love that this thread looks super open and honest and real. We all need the support! I plan on having 1-2 beers with my dinner tonight after a board meeting I have to attend. I plan to moderate through the weekend and take some days off at the beginning of the week. There. I said it. Now I have to do it.
Great plan! Just making a plan of attack is all it takes to moderate.
And Sometimes we need a WTF day to shake us up a little:)
Looking forward to hearing how your weekend goes. xo
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I planned an outing with my cousin who is my partner in crime and with whom I always end up drinking too much. I did this as a test to myself to see if I can be strong and not overdo it with the drinking. I cant just not hang out with her anymore just because I can't control myself. This is my test to practice moderation.
I planned dinner and a play.
Enjoy dinner and a play!
My husband wants to go with another couple to a ShakesBEER play event. Even the actors are drinking beer, the flyer says. I told him that doesn't appeal to me anymore. The couple who invited us said we were thinking who to invite. They said they know that my husband and I like beer. I just looked at them like deer in headlights. I should have said "not anymore!" But I don't know why I didn't.
I think I'll pass on the event. I think it may make me cave:)
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We should all get together in Vegas and celebrate our commitment over champagne and strawberries....We shall call it the Dry Group Meetup10
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Day 8 and loving it, I'm sleeping so well! Unfortunately, I had hoped it would help with the vertigo I've been experiencing, but apparently not - that's still there in full force.
When I had the vertigo badly I had the same hope. Sorry it's not helping your either.
@Sabine_Stroehm did you eventually find a cause/treatment? I've been being treated for a neck injury which may have caused a significant portion of it (landed on my head and compacted my skull into my C1, which was mushing my blood vessels and spinal fluid flow) but it only helps so much. I'm not useless anymore, but its far from gone.2 -
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We should all get together in Vegas and celebrate our commitment over champagne and strawberries....We shall call it the Dry Group Meetup
Then we would have to start a group for Less gambling - 2018 - One day at a time. LOL
[/quWe should all get together in Vegas and celebrate our commitment over champagne and strawberries....We shall call it the Dry Group Meetup
I love that idea!!! LOL!!2 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I planned an outing with my cousin who is my partner in crime and with whom I always end up drinking too much. I did this as a test to myself to see if I can be strong and not overdo it with the drinking. I cant just not hang out with her anymore just because I can't control myself. This is my test to practice moderation.
I planned dinner and a play.
Enjoy dinner and a play!
My husband wants to go with another couple to a ShakesBEER play event. Even the actors are drinking beer, the flyer says. I told him that doesn't appeal to me anymore. The couple who invited us said we were thinking who to invite. They said they know that my husband and I like beer. I just looked at them like deer in headlights. I should have said "not anymore!" But I don't know why I didn't.
I think I'll pass on the event. I think it may make me cave:)
Why shouldn't you hang out with friends without being fearful? I don't want to give up social outings or certain friends because I am afraid I will cave in. I almost didnt plan the dinner and the play just for the fact I was afraid I will cave in. Although I told her last month we would go. I had to tell myself I need to do this to prove that I can be strong and resist. I cannot go through life avoiding social situations because I am afraid I can't control myself.
Dont pass on the event.3 -
8/8 I thought for sure hubs would stop and pick a bottle since it’s Thursday. I had been mentally preparing myself the whole ride home from running how I wasn’t going to be tempted. I’m happy to report the he didn’t! Day 3 for him now!9
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I planned an outing with my cousin who is my partner in crime and with whom I always end up drinking too much. I did this as a test to myself to see if I can be strong and not overdo it with the drinking. I cant just not hang out with her anymore just because I can't control myself. This is my test to practice moderation.
I planned dinner and a play.
Enjoy dinner and a play!
My husband wants to go with another couple to a ShakesBEER play event. Even the actors are drinking beer, the flyer says. I told him that doesn't appeal to me anymore. The couple who invited us said we were thinking who to invite. They said they know that my husband and I like beer. I just looked at them like deer in headlights. I should have said "not anymore!" But I don't know why I didn't.
I think I'll pass on the event. I think it may make me cave:)
Why shouldn't you hang out with friends without being fearful? I don't want to give up social outings or certain friends because I am afraid I will cave in. I almost didnt plan the dinner and the play just for the fact I was afraid I will cave in. Although I told her last month we would go. I had to tell myself I need to do this to prove that I can be strong and resist. I cannot go through life avoiding social situations because I am afraid I can't control myself.
Dont pass on the event.
This is some of the area im stuck with. Social relax, 'let your hair down' stuff, then i feel ive been defeated. I can't get amoungest it like i did.
I want it but don't. I have been having beer and wine w the alcohol removed to give me the taste satisfaction of drinking it. I don't drink it every night it doesn't give u the craving like the real stuff does.
I hope this makes sense
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I planned an outing with my cousin who is my partner in crime and with whom I always end up drinking too much. I did this as a test to myself to see if I can be strong and not overdo it with the drinking. I cant just not hang out with her anymore just because I can't control myself. This is my test to practice moderation.
I planned dinner and a play.
Enjoy dinner and a play!
My husband wants to go with another couple to a ShakesBEER play event. Even the actors are drinking beer, the flyer says. I told him that doesn't appeal to me anymore. The couple who invited us said we were thinking who to invite. They said they know that my husband and I like beer. I just looked at them like deer in headlights. I should have said "not anymore!" But I don't know why I didn't.
I think I'll pass on the event. I think it may make me cave:)
Why shouldn't you hang out with friends without being fearful? I don't want to give up social outings or certain friends because I am afraid I will cave in. I almost didnt plan the dinner and the play just for the fact I was afraid I will cave in. Although I told her last month we would go. I had to tell myself I need to do this to prove that I can be strong and resist. I cannot go through life avoiding social situations because I am afraid I can't control myself.
Dont pass on the event.
This is some of the area im stuck with. Social relax, 'let your hair down' stuff, then i feel ive been defeated. I can't get amoungest it like i did.
I want it but don't. I have been having beer and wine w the alcohol removed to give me the taste satisfaction of drinking it. I don't drink it every night it doesn't give u the craving like the real stuff does.
I hope this makes sense
Yes it makes sense. I would love to drink a non-alcoholic wine for the taste but for me I love the relaxed buzz feeling. LOL
So for now I need to not drink until I can learn moderation.
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Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you11 -
Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
Sad but true. I was never a daily drinker but when I drank, I would Drink. It. All. If I had 2 bottles of wine and a half pint of fireball I would drink every drop. Eventually I did stop the binging though, and shifted to daily and all day if I didn't have to work. I am an all or nothing drinker, so for me, there is no moderation. It sucks, but it is what it is.6 -
islandbeez wrote: »Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
Sad but true. I was never a daily drinker but when I drank, I would Drink. It. All. If I had 2 bottles of wine and a half pint of fireball I would drink every drop. Eventually I did stop the binging though, and shifted to daily and all day if I didn't have to work. I am an all or nothing drinker, so for me, there is no moderation. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Sorry if that was negative though. Everyone is different and maybe some can moderate4 -
Thanku everyone, very helpful and supportive.
The other question is, what else other than alcohol will give that "buzz", or " let your hair down" , relaxed feel..?
This is a bit scary bcoz.. for some families this is what is their main or one of thier " hold together".
Its really sad bcoz there not that real love and respect bteen them.1
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