Anyone accept a weight that wasn't their "ultimate goal"?
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Thank you everyone for you comments! It definitely makes me feel better.Keladelphia wrote: »I feel like if you can live a comfortable lifestyle at the weight you're at (which is an extremely healthy number still) and be relatively happy with your body it does you no good to stress yourself about sitting at a certain target number again. My goal was 135 at 5'6. I sat there for a while but it was a struggle to maintain everyday even with the massive amount of exercise I do. Now I let myself sit around 145 because it's easy to maintain and I don't have to obsess about every calorie that goes in my mouth. I only have to cut down to 138 twice a year to compete and every time I do it reminds me how much more I appreciate the balance that comes along with being a little less lean.
This pretty much sums it up. I'm not willing to do the amount of work right now (precise tracking, more exercise) right now that it would take to get leaner. I am also pretty happy with my body and 140ish is an easy weight for me to maintain. I know a lot of people don't believe in set point theory, but for me 140 is a weight I can maintain without too much effort. Any lower is doable but a constant struggle.7 -
VintageFeline wrote: »SmithsonianEmpress wrote: »Well I’m creeping up on my goal weight which is 125/130ish and I believe I weighed in on the 1st at a little bit under 135. I’m 5’5” and 35 yo. BUT I don’t like my body composition AT ALL because I’m still squishy in all my areas. I know if I changed what I ate I’d see much better results, I’m guessing my body fat percentage would go down—-so I’m not accepting this stall I’m having as of late. I think if you like what you see star there. If you don’t then work on what you can when you can and you’ll get to where you want to be eventually.
It really has very little to do with what you eat other than getting adequate protein and everything to do with how you train. Food is food. Protein, fat and carbs. whether it's a pizza or chicken and potatoes.
OP, I have toyed with just hanging where I am but I know I am perfectly capable of getting lower and staying there. Maintaining each new low weight is never an issue. Fork put downs are my problem when trying to hit a deficit. I'm having another push right now though, happens every year when a vacation starts looming. Re-find my motivation and get smaller than I was for the vacation the year before!
You just have to weigh it all up. When I get back from holiday (last half of May), regardless where I am on the scale, I'm switching to a small deficit and recomping. Because I am done with full deficits now. Too much like hard psychological work.
Well this is GREAT NEWS! Some more months of consistency in lifting and I should be better off.3 -
At 5-7” at 135 (started 2+ years ago at 220) im still squishy. Dropped to 130, still squishy. Now aiming for 125 - but that’s it, my absolute bottom line. To drop, I eat 1500, volume eating massive amounts of fruits and veggies helps.
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I had a baby 18 months ago and pre-baby I was 134 and a size 4 (I'm 5'6''). I was really happy at that weight but I worked out a lot, cycled 100miles a week and weight lifted 3-4x a week. I have been maintaining at about 140 for a year and I'm now a size 6 or 8. My diet is similar, 1600-1800 calories a day (I use a food scale), but I'm not working out as often (weight lifting 2x a week).
For the past year I've had MFP set to "lose 1lb" a week, but I'm obviously eating too much/not exercising enough to lose the last 6lbs. I'm a full-time working mom and I just don't have the time, energy or motivation to workout like that anymore. Anyone experience this? I feel like I should stop feeling like "I can't lose weight" and just accept that I am in maintenance and at this stage in my life this is good enough.
I think that motherhood at this age can be very trying. Likely you will lose the weight a bit more down the road, I would just focus on staying at the weight you are at for now and you will know when the time is right for the next push forward. Just my 2 cents!3 -
My initial goal was 150 lbs., based on body fat % and then rounded off. As I lost, some of it was lean mass, so I had to lower that goal further. I got down to about 138 lbs., which was a bit too lean. On the way, 142 lbs. seemed the most ideal.
After a final crash diet to try to reach that goal by the end of 2017, I took a diet break at the beginning of 2018 and gained 32 lbs. in about 3 weeks; around 19 lbs. of which was fat. I've lost the water gain and a little bit of the fat during that time, but am not trying to lose at this point. I'm focusing on fitness now and I'll worry about the last 13 lbs.-16 lbs. of fat later.
So for now, I'm accepting a weight that was not my goal. Eventually, I'll return to lose the last bit of fat that I put on last month.3 -
Ahhhhh. I needed this thread so very much.
I started at 256 (5'6", F) and have been hovering between 150-155 for weeks/months after 16 months of pretty consistent losses and a few diet breaks. I'd love to get to around 145 and maintain between 145-150, but I'm not sure I have it in me right now for that push. I remember this time last year I ended up with a pretty decent vitamin D deficiency, and I'm wondering if that's creeped up again.
Either way, I've decided I'm going to eat at maintenance for a while--maybe until it warms up later in the spring--and give these last pounds some serious thought then. If anything, the maintenance practice will be good for me and I will be better fueled for reaching my running goals.9 -
I'm also full-time working mom and it IS HARD. Before kids, I was 130 (5'7), but it was a lot of worrying about food and exercising in almost all of my free-time. That isn't something I'm interested in now, so I'm happy at 140 for now. I eat smart and lift progressively heavier 3x/week and do cardio 2x, but I just don't have the brain power to spend quality time with two preschoolers AND futz with every bite I eat AND spend any more time in the gym than absolutely necessary. The scale does read more than I wish it did, but I know that if I ever wanted to shift my priorities, I could. I just figure that right now, I want to be healthy as a model for my kids and to live a long life, but anything beyond that is just vanity (for me, maybe not for everyone).
Best of luck finding your balance!6 -
I've never had a number on the scale as a goal...1
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I think you should listen to your inner voice that 140 is okay for now. You have a lifestyle change with a new baby and might not have as much time to diet and train hard to lose 6 lbs in a healthy manner. In the future you might change that but for today just listen and trust yourself.3
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I haven't changed my goal or settings, but I've been hovering about 115 lbs for a while. Haven't been quite motivated enough about it to keep to my calories and not skip or shorten many of the non-group winter runs.1
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This is exactly the thread I need in my life right now...
I started at 221 (highest weight ever was 236). In about six months I lost around 50 pounds. For the last month I've been hovering at 172.something - the .something varies daily, but the 172 has stayed steady. I want to lose more, at least I think I do... but I don't have it in me right now.
In high school (yes, it was 17 years ago), I weighed about 140-145, thought I was in great shape, and wore a size 12. I ran track and threw shot put, tended goal in soccer, and was all around pretty active. I thought I should get back to 150-ish to be doing well at this point in my life. So, I'm at 172, like I said, and I'm wearing a size 10. At this point I'm not even sure I can get back to 150-ish and maintain the muscle I've put on. I know I'm stronger now than I have ever been, definitely in better cardiovascular shape too. I don't have any desire to be a size 2 (or 4, or even a 6). I might want to see a size 8 though - that would put my waist at half of my height which I read is one of the new recommendations for assessing whether or not you have too much fat around the midsection (at 5'4", even in high school I was on the high side of healthy BMI). All in all, I'm like 2" of waistline away from that measure which feels pretty good for the moment. To date, I've lost close to 12" from my waistline.
I think I've landed at eating at maintenance (or at least trying to figure out what maintenance even is given my current activity level) and seeing if I can recomp by focusing on consuming protein. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's my current operating theory. I accept that I won't be 150, but will probably take a few months to just eat right and maintain my overall weight while focusing on building some more muscle before I make another push to hopefully land somewhere around 160.7 -
OK I know this is not what yall mean, but I "have" accepted a weight which was not my ultimate goal. I started out at about 131 and although I usually in my yo yo life have put 102 as my goal since thats the lowest I have ever been, this time I realized I needed to focus on maintaining. Typically I can make it down under 110 and then I start binging and yo ing up again. So, I thought. OK set your goal at 106. Then instead of ending your diet in a binge and gain, really CHANGE and do something different like maintaining. LOL. I lurk here a lot because I think it's probably the most important place in MFP if you want to succeed forever.
So... I got to 106 in Sept and set to maintenance. But I knew that just changing to a MUCH higher intake right away would trigger a binge, so I followed the method of adding 100 cals every other week. I felt like I was rewarding myself but OH MY GOD the scale kept going down? I reached 102 and kept adding calories. I hit 100 and was like, I don't EVER remember weighing 100. I kept adding calories upped by 150 every other week. I reached 97-98 and you know what. It was NOT my ultimate goal, but honestly I really REALLY like it - how I feel, how I look etc (well Im 59 so I got some skin stuff of course). So I have accepted 98 or 99 or something in that range as my ultimate goal. Not where I started at all.
And I am not restrictive but I think my TDEE is still climbing. I even thought maybe my thyroid meds were off and ran to get a blood test check because I couldn't believe I was losing while continuing to eat more and more. Not BINGE eating mind you but solid steady cal up ticks.
I know that the books say you eat less to maintain at a lower weight but there are just SO Many variables. 1 +1 doesn't always mean 2. Each person is individual.
What I am trying to say is hell yeah, accept a goal which is not your dream goal. maintain. let your body figure it out. You might be surprised when you decide you are going to MAINTAIN that you actually drop more. Best of luck. Lots of very insightful inputs on this thread.9 -
I love how I look at 125 but I just can't maintain at that weight. I am 133 (5'7) and I have the energy to keep up with my 2 kids, workout 4-5 days a week and get 10,000 steps + a day. When I get under 130 I start to become fatigued, moody, and feel over-trained.4
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I have no science to support this so take it with a grain of salt, but I think sometimes our bodies just have a 'preferred weight' at which point losing becomes much more difficult. I lost upwards of 40 lbs fairly easily (well, it was hard but it was doable) but I've been averaging between 130-135 for months and months and months. At my height I could weigh as little as 110 and still be in a healthy range (115 was my original goal), but it's very tough to get there. I've worked my *kitten* off before and gotten in the 125-130 range a couple times, but I just get too hungry and end up back between 130-135. I struggled with it for a while but I'm mostly ok with it now. I haven't completely abandoned my goal weight but I'm happy and healthy where I am now.10
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Thank you again everyone for your insightful responses! I love the internet because it allows you to not feel alone in your experiencesfitoverfortymom wrote: »
I remember this time last year I ended up with a pretty decent vitamin D deficiency, and I'm wondering if that's creeped up again.
Either way, I've decided I'm going to eat at maintenance for a while--maybe until it warms up later in the spring--and give these last pounds some serious thought then. If anything, the maintenance practice will be good for me and I will be better fueled for reaching my running goals.
I also just found out I have an iron and vitamin D deficiency again (I live in Canada and have malabsorption issues). Winter sucks for exercise and motivation!I'm also full-time working mom and it IS HARD. Before kids, I was 130 (5'7), but it was a lot of worrying about food and exercising in almost all of my free-time. That isn't something I'm interested in now, so I'm happy at 140 for now. I eat smart and lift progressively heavier 3x/week and do cardio 2x, but I just don't have the brain power to spend quality time with two preschoolers AND futz with every bite I eat AND spend any more time in the gym than absolutely necessary. The scale does read more than I wish it did, but I know that if I ever wanted to shift my priorities, I could. I just figure that right now, I want to be healthy as a model for my kids and to live a long life, but anything beyond that is just vanity (for me, maybe not for everyone).
Best of luck finding your balance!
Thank you! Yeah, I'm also mostly focused on healthy habits that I can teach to my daughter and feeling comfortable in my skin. The difference between a size 4 and an 8 isn't a priority right now. I hope to have another soon so I'll have baby weight to lose again as well. Perhaps once I'm past the pregnancy and young kids years I'll have different priorities.
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I’m stuck at about 5 pounds over my goal weight. I’m set to lose weight but have maintained in a narrow range for 7 months because I go over my calories. I’m waiting for the weather to warm up to try for the final 5 pounds. My thinking is that once I get the weight off, the maintenance calories will be about the same so my body doesn’t nee 5 pounds of extra fat. I’m 5’2” and 129.10
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Also a working mom. 3 kids. I hit vanity GW 2 years ago in April / May, and since then, I have tried (and FAILED!) to find a maintenance rhythm that works for me.
I seem to have 2 modes: losing and gaining. It might simply be that I'm aiming to "maintain" a GW that is unrealistic or at least inconsistent with the lifestyle I want to lead. It is probably also inconsistent with my fitness goals (which involve lifting and recomp). Even knowing this, my brain continues to be programmed to want to see certain numbers on the scale.
My solution has been to set fitness goals and basically, avoid the scale.7 -
Also a working mom. 3 kids. I hit vanity GW 2 years ago in April / May, and since then, I have tried (and FAILED!) to find a maintenance rhythm that works for me.
I seem to have 2 modes: losing and gaining. It might simply be that I'm aiming to "maintain" a GW that is unrealistic or at least inconsistent with the lifestyle I want to lead. It is probably also inconsistent with my fitness goals (which involve lifting and recomp). Even knowing this, my brain continues to be programmed to want to see certain numbers on the scale.
My solution has been to set fitness goals and basically, avoid the scale.
This is so my life @_piaffe - I could have written this myself, minus the the kids part.
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I actually lost too much weight. My body went haywire. I am now trying to "bulk" up to 210lbs from 180 and maintain there. Slowly I might add. About 18 months or so. I am willing to accept a higher body fat at this weight, if it means feeling better3
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I had a baby 18 months ago and pre-baby I was 134 and a size 4 (I'm 5'6''). I was really happy at that weight but I worked out a lot, cycled 100miles a week and weight lifted 3-4x a week. I have been maintaining at about 140 for a year and I'm now a size 6 or 8. My diet is similar, 1600-1800 calories a day (I use a food scale), but I'm not working out as often (weight lifting 2x a week).
For the past year I've had MFP set to "lose 1lb" a week, but I'm obviously eating too much/not exercising enough to lose the last 6lbs. I'm a full-time working mom and I just don't have the time, energy or motivation to workout like that anymore. Anyone experience this? I feel like I should stop feeling like "I can't lose weight" and just accept that I am in maintenance and at this stage in my life this is good enough.
@LisaTcan I did take weight loss off my my goal list in 2014 but I still have the goal to walk 1/4 of a mile daily outside of just normal daily moving. I just posted what I do now and how it is resolving weight and many other issues at:
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10642943/i-gained-all-my-weight-back-starting-from-square-1#latest
Best of success and yes on the advice to give yourself more time.5
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