Today someone told me "I need to stop losing weight"
batorkin
Posts: 281 Member
I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
28
Replies
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I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day to eat unhealthy food (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
Let their comments about your weight loss roll off you like water on a duck's back.
You sound like you are doing great, keep up the
good work.14 -
This seems pretty typical. They aren't used to the new you. They'll adjust. Just ignore the comments and keep doing your thing.9
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My family does this too every time I lose weight. Almost everyone is obese and overweight. Drives me nuts. They act like I'm going to just keep going till I've wasted away into nothing (Not gonna happen) and that my counting of everything I put into my mouth isn't healthy. (It's not like I'm depriving myself or over-restricting). I'm determined to not let it discourage me, so I know how you feel. Just remember they are probably not used to this version of you. They are probably just expressing concern and want to make sure you are healthy (In a very frustrating manner). Assure them that you are doing this healthily, and leave it. Don't let them influence your weight loss goals.
6 -
Grandma means well...she really does. Understand and appreciate how much she loves you. Take that as what it is.
But also understand that Grandma is NOT a medical professional. And her health guidelines are faulty. So don't base your health decisions on her set of knowledge. You wouldn't go to your grandmother to get your broken arm set or a prescription. So don't let yourself have her as your base of medical knowledge.
It's frustrating, to be sure. You love Grandma and want to make her happy. But she has something going on that she can't see that what you are doing is making you healthier.
But when you start mentally creating healthy boundaries some things get easier. She is not your doctor.16 -
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Listen...eagles don't take flight lessons from chickens. That's it, straight out. Ignore them politely and do your own thing.
And don't get frustrated, if you do they win. Let it wash over you and away, you're the eagle.15 -
my family tells me im too skinny ( they might be right ) and to stop. when I saw my friend for the first time in months, he said I looked sick and im gonan vanish if I keep this up
My mother told me "you look like you have cancer" at about 40 pounds loss. I am balding, so I shave my head. Due to it being winter, I am pale. I understand she means well, but it honestly made me depressed the rest of the day.
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Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,6 -
stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-35.0 -
stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?0 -
stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?
I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day (~350 calories), and dumbbell lifting/exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule. I also started doing daily push-ups and planks because I have a lot more energy now.
Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.1 -
My dad think's I don't eat he literally thought I was anorexic he told my mother and made her watch me. Every time I ate food my mother would point it out to him "look she's eating" she wasn't as concerned. Mind you I'm 5'6 and range between 130-135 nowhere near below weight, so it kinda bothered me, and when I told him I still want to lose about 5-7 pounds he freaked out a little bit, I realized he was genuinely concerned. So, I just explained to him what it was that I was trying to do, he understands more but he still asks if I'm trying to lose weight or if I'm eating.0
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stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?
I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day, and dumbbell exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule.
Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.
That's probably not going to get you a flat stomach.
And at that calorie level and workload, you're probably going to be very unhappy with how you look when you get to 170/180.15 -
I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
No, I just ignore them and don't mention my goals to them.
It's your grandma and your mother. Give them a hug, thank them for caring and change the subject.7 -
stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?
I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day, and dumbbell exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule.
Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.
That's probably not going to get you a flat stomach.
And at that calorie level and workload, you're probably going to be very unhappy with how you look when you get to 170/180.
Ummm... OK? I am not looking to be a model, and the average person doesn't lift or exercise at all in today's world. I have multiple friends with flat stomachs that have never exercised or lifted in their life. If I don't like how I look at 170/180, it will still be vastly better than I how I looked at 250, and I can always join a gym to recomp.22 -
Yes. I got this a lot as I was losing weight, and when I tell people I'm trying to lose the bit of weight I gained back, about 20 pounds, and then get down to an even healthier weight, another 20-30 pounds, they give me the same response, I'll be skin and bones. It's like, you see my belly here, right??? I'm confident in my body but I know it could be healthier. You just have to let it roll off. Comments on what you choose to eat, on what you choose to wear, on how much you workout, they'll all come for most people. I know I'm making good choices for myself, mostly, and hopefully, everyone else comes to accept it. Or else you just keep on loving them and avoid that line of conversation.0
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I get that a lot. I've lost 61 pounds and I'm only 10 pounds or so from my goal. I appear to be fairly thin, but I'm not done. I know what my body is capable of. Those comments tend to come from friends and family that are obese. I get lots of snarky comments. "You've lost enough" "why don't you eat" "youre making us look bad" ect...i used to try to explain things to them but it was pointless. I now just smile and shrug it off. Its hard sometimes though! I really want to fire back with a nasty comment but I'm trying to be the grown up haha3
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I still wonder if some of this isn't where you lose weight. I honestly think my face and neck look a bit gaunt right now, but I still have a big gut. I could see in 10 lbs people thinking I need to stop, although I will have more to go. It just seems to have come off the visible parts of my body first.
Someone was surprised I was still over 200 lbs.8 -
I was told by my mother to stop losing weight when I lost 50 pounds, mind you I was still an overweight 250 pound 5'8" male, I gave her the Philip J. Fry " Not sure if serious or just trying too hard to complement me" look.
2 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »I still wonder if some of this isn't where you lose weight. I honestly think my face and neck look a bit gaunt right now, but I still have a big gut. I could see in 10 lbs people thinking I need to stop, although I will have more to go. It just seems to have come off the visible parts of my body first.
Someone was surprised I was still over 200 lbs.
When I was 250, people always assumed I was about 200. Now that I am actually 200, people seem to think I am dying. lol
Being tall makes you seem much skinnier than you really are.6 -
I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
My aunt told me I needed to stop when I was around 200 lbs which at 5'4.5" is still obese.
I ignored her and now she tries to convince my family I am anorexic. :noway: It actually bothers my mom more than it does me. My mom, while she is obese, sees me as healthy and fit. Her sister still thinks I am starving myself and it's been years since I was 200 lbs. *Shrug* It is what it is.1 -
Having experienced something similar some years back when I was getting close to my goal weight I can empathize with how frustrating and honestly painful those comments can be.
Since then, I have come to realize when people react to someone making an effort to better themselves in such a way it can have a lot to do with their own insecurities.
Take a deep breath. Thank them. And keep doing what you're doing for your health and fitness. You can do it.3 -
dollars to donuts none of the people saying this are in condition or at their optimum weight.
need to learn to ig.nore.7 -
Often people don't look as heavy/light as their weight says. Also for someone else it is difficult to wrap their mind around 30lbs to lose, cause it's stretched all over your body inside out.
Plus, it's your grandma, grandma's are meant to feed the grandchildren haahh Chill1 -
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Yes. Hug your grandmother. My last grandmother died when I was 2.
And adding: Last year my wife told me I was getting too skinny. I have continued trying to get that skinny again. This year my wife told me that she was getting too fat. I'm teaching her how to log her food.
If all your family is badly obese, be the light.5 -
stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?
I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day (~350 calories), and dumbbell lifting/exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule. I also started doing daily push-ups and planks because I have a lot more energy now.
Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.
Dude you eat less than I do and I'm 5ft 2
Are you eating back at least some of your exercise calories?5 -
ruqayyahsmum wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »Contrarian here,
at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.
Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,
Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.
What is your current strength training program?
What is your current calorie allowance?
I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day (~350 calories), and dumbbell lifting/exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule. I also started doing daily push-ups and planks because I have a lot more energy now.
Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.
Dude you eat less than I do and I'm 5ft 2
Are you eating back at least some of your exercise calories?
Nope. My job is me sitting in a chair for the remaining 14 hours of the day, so I seem to get by eating 1500 calories + exercise. I've been doing it for almost 5 months now and I have loads of energy. There are times I eat when I am full because I know i've ate too little that day.
I was actually eating only 1200 calories for the first 2 1/2 months, still felt fine, but decided to play it safe and bump it up to 1500.4 -
I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.3 -
I agree that 1500 cal sounds low for man of your height. My goal is 1800/day, plus I eat back any exercise calories. I also have a very sedentary job. I'm a 5'9" woman, and so far I'm losing over 2.5 lbs/week. I'm sure you could eat more and still have good results. I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?3
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