My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D

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  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    dsboohead wrote: »
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    rcarroll3 wrote: »
    My daughter dealt with this when she got down to a sz 12 from sz 22. It really bothered her that people kept telling her she was too skinny, even though they were sz. 4.

    Do you think it could be that they enjoyed being smaller than her? In my circle, I used to be the heaviest. Now i'm the smallest. The girl who used to be the smallest became super competitive & would make backhanded comments all the time.

    These posts go back for 2 years and am curious Cute....what is your total weight loss thus far? How are others feeling now to this point?

    In total it's 100lbs. Since i've stopped losing weight, the comments have slowed down. The minute I start looking like i'm losing again, everyone starts having a heart attack. I've had friends stage a mini intervention, people still complained that I was losing weight too fast (1 lb per week) & a "friend" kept making back handed comments about my weight loss.

    I would also like to reiterate the fact that I am NOT too skinny! I could actually lose another 10lbs.

    I give you permission to do as you see fit.100 lbs WOW!!!
    Humans hate change and yours has been extreme....don't be shocked if it is intimated that you will gain it back.
    You did it all over a long time period so now it is the norm of Cute. The comments will slow down unless you see someone you havent seen for awhile!
    Post an extreme before and today picture for totally selfish reasons on my part for inspiration! :D
  • OhCaroleM
    OhCaroleM Posts: 19 Member
    Actually the thought that someday I may have this kind of problem (people telling me I have lost too much weight) is inspiring ... can't wait for it to happen. When it does I will have plenty of come-backs thanks to this thread!

    But honestly I hope that for the most part I can be an inspiration to others and that they ask me how to emulate. I think more than anything the constant awareness of what I am eating and how much I am moving (or not moving on a long day at work) makes more difference than anything else. Combine that with a supportive MFP community and you CAN lose!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    OhCaroleM wrote: »
    Actually the thought that someday I may have this kind of problem (people telling me I have lost too much weight) is inspiring ... can't wait for it to happen. When it does I will have plenty of come-backs thanks to this thread!

    But honestly I hope that for the most part I can be an inspiration to others and that they ask me how to emulate. I think more than anything the constant awareness of what I am eating and how much I am moving (or not moving on a long day at work) makes more difference than anything else. Combine that with a supportive MFP community and you CAN lose!

    Yes awareness is key and it does work and works well with persistent logging!!!
  • OhMsDiva
    OhMsDiva Posts: 1,073 Member
    OhMsDiva wrote: »
    ForMe2No wrote: »
    Happens to me all the time now. I don't let it get to me. I don't think all of them are jealous. I think some of them are jealous, some are a little envious, some are genuinely happy for you and simply saying you look good right where you are (their opinion) and some think you look/or are sick and don't want to actually say you look sick. Truth is sometimes I see myself and feel I look a little sick or strange or funny. I'm not finished I'm still considered overweight for my height so I want to lose about 25 more pounds or so but I'm also strength training and toning so I think I understand where they are coming from. So the more time that passes the more I feel like they will adjust to my new body just like I need time to adjust to it. Especially if you have lost a lot of weight in a fairly short time.

    Also, personally, I feel I can tell the comments that are coming out of each category. At the end of the day I am a much happier person and so most of the negative comments just don't even give me pause to respond.

    I agree with the majority of that. I have not really had any negative comments, except my mom told me I am starting to look like a bobble head and that I am turning into one of those people who are grouchy when they lose weight because they are hungry. I know she loves me and I do not pay her any attention. I laugh when people say I am skinny enough or that I do not need to lose any more weight. I could lose 100 more lbs and I would not be close to "skinny". I have learned to take it all in stride and not internalize any negativity.

    I was re-reading my post from almost 2 years ago. I do not get so many comments anymore, as it has been 3 years. Funny thing for me was when my family says omg look at you or wow look how small you are. I know it is a mental thing for me. What I did, not so eloquently, was told my mom that I do not want to focus on my body or my weight all the time. It is something that I am working on. I have to get used to my new body and I do not always want to think or talk about my body. The whole thing is a process and everyone handles it differently. I would say the most important thing is to be honest with yourself first and then with others. It is your life.
  • SnazzIT
    SnazzIT Posts: 215 Member
    I hear you, some of my own family are the worst at times...I used to take it personally but its ironic how they are also the first to tell me how bad I look being overweight lol...I don't care anymore and carry on loving myself :)
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    @OhMsDiva I hear ya! I still haven't gotten used to my new body and i'm still not satisfied. My family keeps reminding me of my accomplishments but I focus on my imperfections. So weight loss is no longer my goal but muscle building is. I feel as tho people will start complaining about that as well.
  • Sam29a
    Sam29a Posts: 201 Member
    I think you are looking too much into it. I've had a few people say the same to me and honestly, I was pleased! I know I'm not 'too skinny', I'm at a healthy BMI, and I know they didn't mean it in a cruel way.
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    Sam29a wrote: »
    I think you are looking too much into it. I've had a few people say the same to me and honestly, I was pleased! I know I'm not 'too skinny', I'm at a healthy BMI, and I know they didn't mean it in a cruel way.

    I doubt i'm looking too much into it! NO ONE should be angry about how MY body looks!!! I
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    edited March 2018
    As I strive to cut down on body fat for a toned, lean look, I’ve gotten comments about my face looking thin.

    Not angry comments just observations, one of which was kind of surprised as though I was turning anorexic. I’m not. When you cut to a low bodyfat percentage I think it’s unavoidable that your face begins to look a bit gaunt.

    Is your current weight the smallest you've ever been in your life? I ask because i suspect that when people are used to seeing you look that way for a long time, they can't seem to accept anything else? What are your thoughts on that?
  • SomeMorr
    SomeMorr Posts: 220 Member
    I lost a good 70lbs in 2011-12 and I remember my {male} boss actually saying "Hey skinny! when was the last time someone called you that". I said "never". I was also still technically overweight because even after losing 70lbs, I was still at 170.. no one had ever seen me that small and it got annoying that people thought they had any reason to comment on how I look. After I regained weight no one said "oh man you look fat".. so why should the opposite be acceptable. leave my fat *kitten* alone.
  • austinandres85
    austinandres85 Posts: 6 Member
    Set your life on fire and surround yourself with people who feed your flames. Great job on your weight loss
  • JustaJoe00
    JustaJoe00 Posts: 777 Member
    i've enjoyed reading through these comments. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    Angry comments I have not had really but plenty of people telling me to stop and that I was thin enough. This was already when I was still overweight.
    I told them in no uncertain terms that my BMI was (at that stage) 26,5 and therefore that I was not skinny, but overweight and that I was going to finish at BMI 22,5. That I knew what I was doing etc.
    My MIL even told my huband to tell me to stop. My husband thankfully knows better than to tell me what and what not to do and informed his mother to butt out.
    Well as it turns out it is 22,0-22,0 now in maintenance and after 6 months there everybody is used to the new me
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
    Bump
  • Krystasfocused25
    Krystasfocused25 Posts: 34 Member
    Hmmm,,, there are some people that may be saying that out of jealousy but then some say it because they really think you look amazing where your at and couldn’t see you losing anymore weight!

    Either way, it’s up to you how much you lose but not everyone is hating....,
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    There's self-sabotage and sabotage from others. It's not so much envy but fear. Fear of change. No one has to live in my body. Many of us have learned to downplay all of our efforts to avoid negative comments. We've all had them from specific people and they might be family members or close friends.

    There are those who will even fabricate medical conditions to keep others off their back. I have an autoimmune disease or a I'm allergic to gluten and fruit and the list goes on. There are forums who even encourage that. Just tell a bunch of whoppers to get people off your back but the truth will find you out.

    Sabotage is real. Don't be scared. Be prepared. Find yourself a strong group of peers who've got your back. Fear from others encourages you to 'change back' and fall back into your old habits. It makes them comfortable. We can't get rid of our family members but we can make new friends. Self-sabotage is the most difficult of all. That takes some serious brain training to reframe your thinking for the rest of your life.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    So here’s the thing with this - I’ve seen lots of people on here before, saying that their friends/coworkers notice their weight loss and act surprised, and occasionally encourage them to stop losing. Someone always says, “They’re jealous of your success! They want you to fail to feel better about themselves!”

    I just don’t believe that. That’s a lazy, knee-jerk answer to the question of their motivation. I think well-meaning people tell you that you look great and have lost enough because, in their mind, weight loss is a monumental effort, you’ve done enough of this terribly hard chore and you should enjoy the results, rather than keep killing yourself to lose more. I truly think it’s well intentioned but poorly executed. I usually just respond with, “My health has improved SO much, I’m going to stick with it and see how much better I can make it!”
    I have never had anyone press me to stop after that. To them, weight loss is about image. To us, the Losers, it’s a lifestyle. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic that since they just had their insulin, they should have this piece of cake because you know it’s bad for them. Most people don’t look at weight loss in the same light; I know my body gains weight easily and it’s bad for me - it’s my ‘diabetes’, for lack of a better word. I have to ALWAYS monitor my caloric intake. I can’t drop my vigilance because it’s bad for my body.

    Well said and excellent observation!