My best friend is on another fad diet. I give up.
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When I started my best friend gave me a LOT of advice, from ww & things she learned on tv etc. She lost 60 lbs 3 times, gained it all back, so she's very knowledgeable she says. It drove me crazy! She said she's happy maintaining her wt-230 lbs (she's tall but still overweight) she knows what I've done to lose but won't try, nothing I can do. She's the one I give all my big clothes to
It sounds as if your friend knows how to lose weight...just not how to keep it off. Keeping if off is what most people struggle with.9 -
Different things are going to work for different people and some diet plans are better than others. I'm the only person I know who's ever calorie counted. I know several people who've had success with South Beach and with Mediterranean plans. I tend to like those plans as well because they focus on whole food nutrition and not just eliminating things (at least long term) and they provide a road map for going forward into maintenance...not that everyone succeeds with that.
Calorie counting isn't for everyone...it's pretty tedious, and frankly, I think you have to be at least a little into numbers and be a pretty meticulous person for it to work.
Unfortunately which ever way people go about it, the percentage of people that maintain their weight loss long term is pretty low. Maintenance requires you to hang on to healthy habits into perpetuity and people tend to not be very good about that.9 -
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For many (probably most) people, losing weight and keeping it off requires trial and error. Your friend will keep trying different diets until she finds one she can stick to and stay with. Or she will never find one she can live with and stay fat. Either way, you can't do anything about it. It's about finding an eating style that she both likes (or at least doesn't dislike) and can stick with. Counting calories works, but it is not necessary.
But there is nothing wrong with many "fad diets". Obviously, if it is something extreme like eating only grapefruit you would eventually have nutritional deficiencies...but these types of diets are exceptions and aren't what most of the public try. If you are doing something like keto, paleo, low carb, low fat, Mediterranean, etc...all have helped many millions of people lose weight and keep it off.
By the way, counting calories is not for everybody. I only use it when I am making changes to my diet...mainly to focus on macros and how different mixes work or don't work for me or to check to see if I am getting enough protein. There is no way I could count calories every day for the rest of my life. I simply find it too much of a burden. Obviously, many people on this site feel differently. I'm happy for them, but that doesn't make them right and me wrong. It just means that the method that is sustainable for them (calorie counting) isn't sustainable for me. For me, it is much easier to just follow a low carb style of eating. Personal preferences and personality differences mean that different people find different "diets" beneficial.
Maybe your friend will decide to eventually try calorie counting. But even if she does, there is no guaranty she will be able to stick to it. Many have failed at it...just like with every other method. As her friend, you should just hope that she finds some method that she can live with long term. That's all that really matters.11 -
I googled the pegan diet, and all things considered (the original version) seems fairly well balanced so I guess there's a blessing there that it's not some crash diet. My mother is notorious for jumping onto the fad diet bandwagon, she knows CICO works but she still inevitably gets tired of counting and drops off MFP. Then after she puts weight back on she panics and decides to go on some "cleanse" or otherwise incredibly restrictive diet. The last one was delivered pre-packed foods (NutriSystem I believe), the last few months are super low-carb. I stay out of it unless she directly asks for input, today we actually talked about portion sizes, but I don't invest either way because it's not my body or my business.When I started my best friend gave me a LOT of advice, from ww & things she learned on tv etc.
This is why I stay out of it, I have a coworker who is always trying to tell me about some new special herb or magical vitamin that will apparently cause the fat to literally melt off her stomach, but just her stomach. It kills me to bite my tongue during these monologues, so I refuse to be the person giving out unsolicited advice4 -
Yes let it go.
You gave her the information and tools and she isn't ready to use them. She is an adult and can decide what she wants to do even if it is the all radish diet.
If it makes you feel frustrated maybe agree to stop talking weight loss with each other. Just make the topic off limits and each do your own thing.2 -
Can I be the mean person in the thread? Like the poster said above...You do you...But say that back to her with an added, You do you, Boo. When you add Boo to the end of a sentence, it’s basically saying, “Um, okay, I’m probably right and you’ll see.” without causing a fist fight
I would also add, “Now if this doesn’t work, I don’t wanna hear about, okay?” Add a smile because it makes you less mean. Seriously, you continue to do what’s best for you. Sometimes, people have to make mistakes to learn. But, seriously, If it’s about health and you want her to be around...then tell her that and tell her it’s coming from a good place because you love her.
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I just took a look at the OP's diary. I wouldn't last long eating what she eats (at least for the past week). This is why I don't tell people how they should be losing weight. We each have our own way of doing things and what we think is healthy.
I learned a long time ago...figure out what I need and how I can make it work and let others do the same.12 -
i would advise that until you lose all your weight, and have maintained it for at least 2 years, you are in no position to inform her of "your" right or wrong. losing weight is about the person, not the particular diet or approach to losing weight. "CICO" is not the be all and end all of weight loss. its about the person's commitment to sticking to a plan and living it for the rest of their life once they reach their goal. people fail on cico also. there are lots of ways a person can lose weight and i'm not sure what makes you the authority on it????33
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and you sound judgey and when she stops short of answering you when you drill her with questions, its likely that she is just done dealing with you about you. leave her alone b4 you lose a friend.19
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I stay out of it when I come across these situations. I only talk about what I am doing if someone directly asks me.
It is frustrating to see friends buying in to fads or scams, but we have all done that at one point or another. All you can do is hope that they find something that works for them! I try to be a good supportive friend, even if I don't agree. If they are wasting money on mlm shakes or pills I try not to be rude but I usually suggest they do some research first ect...4 -
25lbsorbust wrote: »Guys, I swear I have tried EVERYTHING to get her to see the CICO light. I gave her a food scale, I showed her the weight I was losing, I told her how easy it was, how you can eat whatever as long as you're under/at your calorie limit for the day. She literally told me that she didn't like counting calories because "[her] food has too many calories in it, and [she] runs out really fast." She didn't see the irony.
She told me yesterday she's doing Dr. Oz's "Pegan" diet now. No weighing, no calorie counting, no definition (that I can find) of what a 'serving' of some of the foods constitutes. I asked her what Dr. Oz meant by a 'cheat day' once a week, or what constituted 'one alcoholic drink'. Mixed drink or single shot? She didn't know. It reminds me of Weight Watchers in all the wrong ways.
Have any of you had any friends taking this route? How did things eventually turn out? Did they ever change? Did the fad diet maybe magically work for them? Should I just let go and let god?
Why does that bother you....I mean it's her problem. I know you want your friend to succeed, but if she doesn't want to listen to your advice, so let her solve this issue on her own.10 -
Tough crowd. #hangry26
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I super dislike counting calories, weighing food, etc. But I balance meals well and aim to stick to whole foods as much as poasible and what I'm doing feels sustainable.
Feeling healthy is what's important to me and the weight loss that's come with it is an added bonus for me.
While it can be hard seeing others that we care about do stuff that we may disagree with, like my family eating like crap all the time, well that's their choice. Food is a sensitive thing for people. We all have our own journey and if anything, just be an example and answer any questions she may have.6 -
You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.19 -
elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
I don't think the healthy meats and fresh fruit and vegetables are obligatory to get fit. Meat is completely optional for a fit person provided they're getting sufficient protein from other sources and fruits and vegetables are just as nutritious when they're frozen.12 -
People who ask me "what I eat" are incredibly disappointed when I say, "Everything."26
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elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or a certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.42 -
i'm just trying to make an overall point that healthy eating habits ..not starving or fad diets lead to weight loss. i personaly eat meat, fruits, and tons of vegetables. and no dairy. yet.. i think people can eat dairy and be just fine..they can be vegan or vegetarian... . it is all choices.janejellyroll wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
I don't think the healthy meats and fresh fruit and vegetables are obligatory to get fit. Meat is completely optional for a fit person provided they're getting sufficient protein from other sources and fruits and vegetables are just as nutritious when they're frozen.
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elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
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elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
We've gone round and round with you on other threads about this, so I won't derail this thread any further. But you're completely, positively 100% wrong, and research has conclusively shown otherwise. I'll leave it at that, you're free to believe what you want to believe. You're entitled to your own opinions, but you're not entitled to your own facts.
Once again, as has repeatedly been explained to you, "counting calories" =/= CICO.40 -
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example the human body CANNOT create energy from nothing or make ingested energy disappear. It is always CICO it is immutable. k? Gosh, CICO != calorie counting.elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.24 -
You shared all the knowledge with her that you could. I'd just be there to support her hunger/possible frustration with her fad diets and be happy to answer questions she has about what you do. Odds are, with more time and possible failure she'll get curious about what you do on her own. You sound like a caring friend!1
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elisa123gal wrote: »
i'm just trying to make an overall point that healthy eating habits ..not starving or fad diets lead to weight loss. i personaly eat meat, fruits, and tons of vegetables. and no dairy. yet.. i think people can eat dairy and be just fine..they can be vegan or vegetarian... . it is all choices.janejellyroll wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
I don't think the healthy meats and fresh fruit and vegetables are obligatory to get fit. Meat is completely optional for a fit person provided they're getting sufficient protein from other sources and fruits and vegetables are just as nutritious when they're frozen.
You don't need to strictly eat healthy either, you can have a balanced diet and still lose weight. I remember on my last cut, most of my diet was healthy, but I wasn't affraid to fit in some junk food in there as long as I don't go over my macros.10 -
elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
It's seems hard for you to understand that CICO and counting calories are not the same thing.24 -
I am not sure if its funny or scary watching people deny the facts of the universe.27
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Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »I am not sure if its funny or scary watching people deny the facts of the universe.
It's an interesting (and sad) real-life demonstration of how the weight loss industry has brainwashed many people into believing that they need a magic pill, potion, book or diet "program" to successfully lose weight. Simply telling people to consume less calories than they expend doesn't sound magical and it doesn't sell books, videos, "supplements", etc.
The weight loss industry, by and large, is a multi-billion dollar fraud machine full of quacks, crackpots and scammers. But you can't deny the effectiveness of their hype and woo when you see how many people will choose magick and wizardry over simple, basic, scientifically proven physiology. As the saying goes, "there's a sucker born every minute" - and that's exactly how the weight loss industry makes their money hand over fist.12 -
Let her ram her head into the wall enough times and she'll come to her senses. Probably. Meanwhile, keep doing what works. Eventually she'll notice your progress and come around. Probably. But if she doesn't, I'd just leave alone and don't bring it up unless she asks.8
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elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
Because they're eating more calories than they're expending.18
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