The Face Problem

24

Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Oh, and all about the anti aging creams. I have been complimented more than once on the condition of my skin. I was asked about my regimen. I said “nothing”. Actually it is a combination of genetics and nothing. No smoking, no sun, no drinking.
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    Jrpwgr wrote: »
    Honesty and being rude are two totally different things
    You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
    It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?

    Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
    You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.

    You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
    We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.


    [/quote]




    Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine :)
    [/quote]
    Jrpwgr wrote: »
    Honesty and being rude are two totally different things
    You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
    It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?

    Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
    You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.

    You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
    We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.


    [/quote]




    Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine :)
    [/quote]
    Jrpwgr wrote: »
    Honesty and being rude are two totally different things
    You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
    It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?

    Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
    You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.

    You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
    We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.


    [/quote]




    Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine :)
    [/quote]
    Jrpwgr wrote: »
    Honesty and being rude are two totally different things
    You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
    It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?

    Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
    You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.

    You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
    We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.


    [/quote]




    Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine :)
    [/quote]
    Jrpwgr wrote: »
    Honesty and being rude are two totally different things
    You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
    It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?

    Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
    You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.

    You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
    We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.


    [/quote]




    Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine :)
    [/quote]

    Insightful post. Lol @ your last quote!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Start taking collagen capsules as directed. Good for joints too. Get them at costco....large bottle.
    Do what you do and do it for YOUR well being not to please others!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    Sometimes skin will tighten back up. I know collagen helps with that (it’s in cottage cheese, which goes very well on tomato slices with a little balsamic vinegar if you ask me!)

    You could always get your doc to refer to you a dermatologist and explore your options. They can probably discuss everything from the facelift and fillers to some creams, face exercises? etc.

    Also, you might play around with different makeup. You have a new face now, you can’t make it up the same as you did before, just like you won’t be dressing your body the same any more.

    Good luck with all this. I hope you find your perfect solution so you can feel good about all your hard work!

    Thank you!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    dsboohead wrote: »
    Momma always said.....if you can't say nothing nice don't say nuthin' at all.
    Just like the fools who say "why didn't anyone tell me I was fat?" HUH??? You don't own a mirror?!
    I didnt need anyone to tell me I was fat and if you do....back up cause I can unleash like the devil himself!

    Highly true!!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    dsboohead wrote: »
    Yes please tell me if I have food on my face or a booger hanging out of my nose or a hole in my pants but to tell someone something about their anatomy which is not an easy fixable situation is none of your business and keep your insulting trap shut!

    Omg I love your answer!!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    Styggian wrote: »
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.

    I had to trade 'good looks' for good health, the only difference is, young girls are opening doors for me, not sure if this is because of political correctness or that I look quite old and feeble now :). How do I handle it ? officially am offended but privately am glad there is not so many videos of me pushing on doors marked 'pull' appearing on youtube ;-)

    I say we go with you are a fine looking man who doesn't realize it! Haha on pushing on pull doors. I do that too sometimes!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    Styggian wrote: »
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.

    I had to trade 'good looks' for good health, the only difference is, young girls are opening doors for me, not sure if this is because of political correctness or that I look quite old and feeble now :). How do I handle it ? officially am offended but privately am glad there is not so many videos of me pushing on doors marked 'pull' appearing on youtube ;-)

    I say we go with you are a fine looking man who doesn't realize it! Haha on pushing on pull doors. I do that too sometimes!

    By the way, I hold doors for anyone and everyone!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    RedBull46 wrote: »
    Congratulations first and foremost on the amazing weight accomplishment! People are weird. We want to support others. But secretly we’re jealous. We’re constantly comparing. We hope they succeed. But not become better than us. We operate in this constant state of silently monitoring everyone around us, and in some cases, not so silently. All of the commotion of right now will pass. Everyone will get used to the new normal, they will pipe down with the commentary, and everyone will move on.

    I’ve thought a lot about a lower face lift once I’m down to my goal weight, and am setting aside the $5,000 it will cost if I do it. I’m 48, so it feels too young to be thinking about it but my face sags a bit even now. If I bust my behind, I could reach my goal this summer then see how my face looks then.

    Congrats again, and just keep doing you.

    Thank you so much.
    Best to you !
  • cowleyl
    cowleyl Posts: 169 Member
    RedBull46 wrote: »
    Congratulations first and foremost on the amazing weight accomplishment! People are weird. We want to support others. But secretly we’re jealous. We’re constantly comparing. We hope they succeed. But not become better than us. We operate in this constant state of silently monitoring everyone around us, and in some cases, not so silently. All of the commotion of right now will pass. Everyone will get used to the new normal, they will pipe down with the commentary, and everyone will move on.

    I’ve thought a lot about a lower face lift once I’m down to my goal weight, and am setting aside the $5,000 it will cost if I do it. I’m 48, so it feels too young to be thinking about it but my face sags a bit even now. If I bust my behind, I could reach my goal this summer then see how my face looks then.

    Congrats again, and just keep doing you.

    Thank you so much.
    Best to you !

    I'm 65, have lost around 50lbs and aim to lose about another 25lb. My skin is sagging but I didn't know you could get a lower face lift. I would rather deal with that problem than the extra weight. Is a lower face lift just your jaw line?

  • cowleyl
    cowleyl Posts: 169 Member
    Oops copied the wrong quote. I was responding to @RedBull46
  • solieco1
    solieco1 Posts: 1,559 Member
    utahjulia wrote: »
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.

    Maybe i'll tell the next person who says something something along of the lines of, " Yes, I know! Won't you please donate to my plastic surgery Go Fund Me Page" or just plain "plastic surgery fund" !

    Try “enough about ME. Let’s talk about YOU for awhile.” Most of the time, shifting to the other person after they’ve overstepped is a great tactic. Ex:
    Them: wow you look awful
    You: having a bad day? I’m sorry. What can I do to help?
    Them: no, I mean your face is so much older now that you’re skinny
    You: it’s not like you to be insulting. What’s bothering you?

    I kind of enjoy that game and it’s sure better than letting comments get to me (they do, but I hate to show it).

    Your skin probably will settle into your new weight. Be proud.

    I do this and it's amazingly effective in a lot of situations :)
  • SalinitySally
    SalinitySally Posts: 258 Member
    solieco1 wrote: »
    utahjulia wrote: »
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.

    Maybe i'll tell the next person who says something something along of the lines of, " Yes, I know! Won't you please donate to my plastic surgery Go Fund Me Page" or just plain "plastic surgery fund" !

    Try “enough about ME. Let’s talk about YOU for awhile.” Most of the time, shifting to the other person after they’ve overstepped is a great tactic. Ex:
    Them: wow you look awful
    You: having a bad day? I’m sorry. What can I do to help?
    Them: no, I mean your face is so much older now that you’re skinny
    You: it’s not like you to be insulting. What’s bothering you?

    I kind of enjoy that game and it’s sure better than letting comments get to me (they do, but I hate to show it).

    Your skin probably will settle into your new weight. Be proud.

    I do this and it's amazingly effective in a lot of situations :)

    Agree! I started doing it when I worked with a woman who greeted me every morning with a comment about how I needed to fix my makeup (“omg girl! Put on some LIPSTICK!” etc) because I looked “tired.” I had a newborn. (She never had kids.) Yes I was tired. Exhausted, really. I started saying “oh, your work is overwhelming you today? You can vent to me anytime.” Lol.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Good thread !!!
  • Brianne559
    Brianne559 Posts: 1 Member
    Sounds like people you don't need in your life, OP. Anyone who feels the need to comment in this way is not being helpful, just plain rude and unnecessary. If a facelift makes you happy, go for it, but don't take to heart what a few thoughtless humans tell you.
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    IremiaRe wrote: »
    If it's any help, at all... I had a pretty impressive neck wattle when I first lost the weight off my face... two years later, it's shrunk down to a "normal" size neck wattle for a 53 year old chick. My wrinkles have lightened up, too. Just keep on doing what you are doing for your health, and ignore the unsolicited comments.

    Hugs!

    I'm in my late 40's. Thanks for the future hope!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    OP, your old friends are used to you being overweight. So,it is shocking to them to see you different.

    I suggest you spend some time looking at the before and after face thread on here. They all look incredible, no matter the age..they look younger and more attractive thinner..BY FAR. your 'rude' friends...(and they are) want to keep you looking somewhat the same so you don't rock their little rude world. Don't let them derail you...their little brains will get used to the new fit fabulous you in due time. :)

    Thank you.
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    OP, your old friends are used to you being overweight. So,it is shocking to them to see you different.

    I suggest you spend some time looking at the before and after face thread on here. They all look incredible, no matter the age..they look younger and more attractive thinner..BY FAR. your 'rude' friends...(and they are) want to keep you looking somewhat the same so you don't rock their little rude world. Don't let them derail you...their little brains will get used to the new fit fabulous you in due time. :)

    I will look up that thread. Thank you!
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    utahjulia wrote: »
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.
    Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.

    Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?

    Thanks.

    Maybe i'll tell the next person who says something something along of the lines of, " Yes, I know! Won't you please donate to my plastic surgery Go Fund Me Page" or just plain "plastic surgery fund" !

    Try “enough about ME. Let’s talk about YOU for awhile.” Most of the time, shifting to the other person after they’ve overstepped is a great tactic. Ex:
    Them: wow you look awful
    You: having a bad day? I’m sorry. What can I do to help?
    Them: no, I mean your face is so much older now that you’re skinny
    You: it’s not like you to be insulting. What’s bothering you?

    I kind of enjoy that game and it’s sure better than letting comments get to me (they do, but I hate to show it).

    Your skin probably will settle into your new weight. Be proud.

    Very interesting way to look at this. Thanks.
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