Guys - how long would you wait to message a girl after the first date?

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  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    princess7955 wrote: »
    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go

    Did you really like him? If so - girl, take out your phone and message him. Wouldn't you rather know if he had a good time too, than assume the worst?
    He might be sitting at home thinking the same thing you are. Maybe he's text his friends asking how long he should be waiting to message you!


    I did reply to his message... just saying something about the gym but he didn’t even read it
  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    SabotageinStilettos wrote: »
    I guess I’m just old fashioned in that I never want to talk to my date again. *kitten* him and leave him, that’s what I always say.

    Kitten him?
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
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    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go

    Have you only been out with him once? Was that the first time you met in person?
  • activities1
    activities1 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    I’m sooo confused by your messages. So he did text you but “it gave nothing away” so you didn’t reply??

    Then You said you used to text all day before the date so maybe it’s a no go.

    Was the last text from him? If so, REPLY BACK if you’re interested. Maybe he’s thinking the same thing and just was texting something with absolutely no substance because that was all he had in order to text you. Now he probably thinks you’re uninterested because no text back.

    This really doesn’t have to be so confusing and unsure of how the other feels. Just lay it out there and let him know hey, I like you, great time maybe eventually we can bump ugly’s exclusively OR hey had a nice time, I think we may want something different but if you want to be friends cool if not understood.
  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »
    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go

    Have you only been out with him once? Was that the first time you met in person?

    Yes this was the first date. So we met on PoF and we were messaging on that (about three times a day) and then he gave me his number the day of the date so we could meet up easier.

    And the date was on Saturday night but I didn’t hear anything on Sunday so I messaged him this morning to say have a good day. He replied saying thanks, you too. I didn’t really know what to reply so I messaged him after work and gym just saying something about just finishing the gym. That was at 7pm and now its half 11 and he hasn’t read it
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
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    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »
    caloriecountingdiary wrote: »
    I’m 28 for the person who asked!

    It seems like eveyone is different then judging by the responses. I personally tend to just be upfront if I like someone but I have been guilty of struggling to be the same if I don’t like someone.

    I haven’t heard anything from him since this morning so I don’t have high hopes. We were messaging about 3x a day before the date so I guess this is a no go

    Have you only been out with him once? Was that the first time you met in person?

    Yes this was the first date. So we met on PoF and we were messaging on that (about three times a day) and then he gave me his number the day of the date so we could meet up easier.

    And the date was on Saturday night but I didn’t hear anything on Sunday so I messaged him this morning to say have a good day. He replied saying thanks, you too. I didn’t really know what to reply so I messaged him after work and gym just saying something about just finishing the gym. That was at 7pm and now its half 11 and he hasn’t read it

    This is my sincere advice

    Do not message him again until and unless he responds to you. You met him for the first time on Saturday... it sometimes takes time to process everything so give him space. I think it's ok that you messaged him today although the content of your message could have been tweaked a bit... maybe telling him you enjoyed his company and you'd like to see him again. Then leave it alone.... if it is going to eat away at you if you don't hear from him then send a message like that a week from now... see how he responds. This is not game playing, be sincere but with no expectations...and remember you don't need a reply from him. In fact you don't need him at all, do not over function... let it unfold organically, this way you will know exactly where you stand. I hope everything works out the way you want it to :) and I hope I articulated my point well...

    Also... I'm bad at love so I'm not certain this is the best advice :D
  • caloriecountingdiary
    caloriecountingdiary Posts: 12 Member
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    This is my sincere advice

    Do not message him again until and unless he responds to you. You met him for the first time on Saturday... it sometimes takes time to process everything so give him space. I think it's ok that you messaged him today although the content of your message could have been tweaked a bit... maybe telling him you enjoyed his company and you'd like to see him again. Then leave it alone.... if it is going to eat away at you if you don't hear from him then send a message like that a week from now... see how he responds. This is not game playing, be sincere but with no expectations...and remember you don't need a reply from him. In fact you don't need him at all, do not over function... let it unfold organically, this way you will know exactly where you stand. I hope everything works out the way you want it to :) and I hope I articulated my point well...

    Also... I'm bad at love so I'm not certain this is the best advice :D

    I think that’s pretty sound advice, thank-you
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
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    As a gentleman, I always offer to take a lady home. If we can't do that, I text once I get home to see if she made it home ok. If she answers, I text the next day to say I had a nice time (if I had a nice time). If you are waiting three days after a date to reach out to someone, then you really didn't have a good time
  • basic_bro
    basic_bro Posts: 41 Member
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    I don’t know, two or three....years.

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