Anyone accept a weight that wasn't their "ultimate goal"?
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Yes, and no. I haven't lost ANY weight since starting this journey again two months ago and it's making me rethink my overall goals, body composition, etc. For the longest time my goal was 130-132. It's what I weighed my senior year in high school and my first couple years in college. I had an unhealthy relationship with food, but overall it was one of the few times in my life I've really liked my appearance. So now I'm about 35 pounds heavier and don't know if I'll ever be able to reach that weight again. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, so I'm going to set a series of small, hopefully tangible goals. Each time I reach a goal, I'll reassess and decide if losing any more weight is necessary/feasible.
I posted earlier, but will repeat since it addresses what you are thinking. I set a goal that was still overweight, but it was one I had felt pretty good at and had maintained for along time in the past. It also seemed realistic to reach it in a reasonable amount of time. Once I got there, I figured, why stop? I set another goal - top of normal BMI range. That's about where I am now and I have set my goal a little lower, so that even with some spikes I should still have a BMI below 25. It's not far away. If I had set that as the goal from the start, it would have seemed impossible and it would have been too easy to give up.2 -
I think you stated it really well, OP. Especially: "I am in maintenance and at this stage in my life this is good enough."4
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For a while I did. Now I’m trying to change it (I have more than just 5 pounds though).
Do you feel that there’s anything you could reasonably do to drop those 5 and then try maintaining? Could you be happy with them?4 -
Yep. Yep yep yep. And even though I'm at a super healthy weight and I'm in great shape and I look awesome and have way more muscle mass than I did 20 years ago and am an athlete now - yep yep yep. I'm 10 pounds above what I thought was my ideal weight. While I know it would be unhealthy for me to lose 10 pounds, damn I'd like to be that thin again.5
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I've gone through the same. Priorities change, especially when children are involved. Don't feel like you're resigned to this weight forever or that you're giving up--as you said, it's just a stage in your life and things are bound to change again.4
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I finally got over pneumonia & felt good for about 2 weeks & got back to working out some, but was still a bit tired, so last Monday, I got sick again (like a cold/flu)& am back on anti biotics. Dr said to take it easy for 2 weeks & let my body heal. I know exercise is 20% of wt loss, but it sure helped & made my body "tighter" & so looked slimmer all the time I was working out. I feel great food wise eating the amount of calories to maintain so exercise was more or less my deficit2
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I finally got over pneumonia & felt good for about 2 weeks & got back to working out some, but was still a bit tired, so last Monday, I got sick again (like a cold/flu)& am back on anti biotics. Dr said to take it easy for 2 weeks & let my body heal. I know exercise is 20% of wt loss, but it sure helped & made my body "tighter" & so looked slimmer all the time I was working out. I feel great food wise eating the amount of calories to maintain so exercise was more or less my deficit
20% is 20% extra calories that you can eat and it's a HUGE difference.
I've been sick for a week now and walked more than 3k step a day maybe twice, and I've probably gained another pound on top of the 15 I already wanted to lose. It's so depressing!7 -
Ya, my workouts give me 50% more calories than I would have without them. That's a massive difference for me! Eating at my non-working-out TDEE I find nearly impossible (desk job, with not enough walking to change much means ~1200-1300 calories a day if I'm looking to lose), but working out gives me the ability to eat "real" meals that are actually filling and stick with me LOL.3
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Where are you comfortable? Find your "me" weight - the place where everything falls into place. Exercise? Eating? Clothes? Work? Family?0
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I'm TRYING to do this. I want to be 135. I just...can't...do IT. If I wasn't so stubborn I'd be okay but I just feel like a failure. I'm 5'4". It shouldn't be that *kitten* hard to weigh 135.
Hey if that’s you in the picture girl you are pure muscle, I’m 5’4” @ 133 and NO way I look as “toned” as you
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I have about 5 more pounds to go but for whatever reason I can’t lose it. So I’ve accepted this as my weight. And I’ve been able to maintain it for 2 years but I’m not happy. I really want to lose the extra pounds.2
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I have no science to support this so take it with a grain of salt, but I think sometimes our bodies just have a 'preferred weight' at which point losing becomes much more difficult. I lost upwards of 40 lbs fairly easily (well, it was hard but it was doable) but I've been averaging between 130-135 for months and months and months. At my height I could weigh as little as 110 and still be in a healthy range (115 was my original goal), but it's very tough to get there. I've worked my *kitten* off before and gotten in the 125-130 range a couple times, but I just get too hungry and end up back between 130-135. I struggled with it for a while but I'm mostly ok with it now. I haven't completely abandoned my goal weight but I'm happy and healthy where I am now.
I fully agree with this. I know nothing is to be deemed impossible as far as setting in stone that you "absolutely can't lose" x, y, z. I know that many folks will say that yes you can in fact lose that last little bit. But I agree with this poster because I have always noticed a point in which my body is "happy" aka my body's "preferred weight." I think that it is hard to recognize it at first that your body is telling you, "hey, I like it here, please don't make me lose any more weight!" Maybe the number one reason it is hard to recognize is because it wasn't your original goal and that can be disppointing, or in my case, it is above a range on the BMI chart, etc. But one of the healthiest things we can do, IMO, is listen to our bodies...eat well, train hard, go out of our comfort zones, experiment with food and exercise, eat that slice of cake, eat an entire head of lettuce, whatever it is, if we stop an listen to our bodies for a while, I think new or revised goals will come out of it. For me, I am beginning to wonder if my body will be happiest at 5 pounds higher than my original goal, and it is HARD to think that that means that I won't have reached the original goal. I hate that feeling, but that just means to me that I am listening to my body and I can set a revised goal or a new goal for later. Maybe in 6 months those last 5 pounds will fall off, but I will know in the mean time that I am eating well, exercising well, and enjoying life.
OP, you are incredible just for being a Mom and still focusing on you. I say enjoy life at 140 with the mentality that your body is telling you this is good for now, you have done enough hard work, and see what happens or new goal you may have in the future!2 -
I started at 150lb and got down to 131lb and have been 131 for a month and a half now. I've tried eating even less, upping my workouts, then tried eating more and still kept my workouts at 5 days a week. NOTHING. I still want to lose another 10-11lbs (120 is my goal) but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me since I haven't been able to drop in so long. Oh well. I still have some chub on my tummy I want gone and my arms and legs could be a little less jiggly. Which I know I can achieve if I keep at my workouts. But I doubt I'll lose any scale weight.0
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I have reached a weight where exercise needs to take over to redefine what I see in the mirror and the scale is only a tool to keep me from regaining. I don't want to force my body to get down to an arbitrary weight that makes me crabby trying to maintain it. What's the point?8
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Mulling over losing another 5 to 7, but it is more about increasing the cushion/range than setting a new goal. The goal was to maintain below a BMI of 25 which I have been successful at since getting below only two or three weeks ago; I have not seen a single weight above 164, which is 24.9 for my height (5'8"). But I have seen a couple over 163. I think maybe getting into the mid to high 150s instead of low 160s might make me freak about normal weight swings less.1
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Yea but it keeps going down. I started at 228 and have gained and lost 50+ pounds probably 9 times in my life. I’m terrified that I will gain it all back again, so my first goal was 180.
I got there and wasn’t happy with how I felt and how clothes fit so I set another goal of 168. I got there and didn’t like being overweight BMI range (I’m 5’8” and 51) and I was in between sizes (10 too big and 8 was a little tight) so I set another goal of 163.
I’m down to 162 as of this morning (12.5 months after I started) and I’m pretty happy with how much energy I have and how clothes fit, but don’t want to be overweight when I weigh at the doctor’s office. I’m thinking of setting a new goal of 158....maybe. I want to maintain so bad, so I want it to be something I can live with. I bumped up my calories another 100 last week and I still lost 1.2 lbs this week. I’m afraid to eat at maintenance and gain weight or eat at a small 250 calorie deficit. I need to figure this out. Good thing I have a husband who loves me and is very supportive. He thinks I should start moving into maintenance now and lose the rest at .5 a week. It’s hard. I’ve always been overweight, so being normal, even at the high end is a great accomplishment. I don’t want to get greedy and fail to keep the weight off.4 -
I agree with the poster who wrote your body says enough. In 1998 I weighed 150 for a very long time & slowly I gained 50lbs, I stayed at 150 recently for months & now I'm down to 147 but it doesn't want to go down any more so I may stay at this. I'm giving it a few more months0
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My initial goal was 130, which is still 10 lbs. more than the weight I was at all my life. But I am older, and getting there was harder. I have been maintaining at 136.0 - 138.0 for the past 3 years. Every time I thought I might like to try for that 130 and worked at it, I found myself feeling exhausted and weak, not to mention cranky. I realized that the number was unimportant. I am 5'0", and muscular from the waist down, so the BMI is never right. I am also older, and 130 is just not possible without making myself sickly. I am happy where I am. I am fit from working out. I wear small Petite sizes. I look and feel good. And that's what it is all about.7
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I have, and this might be unpopular around here but currently (at least for now haha) I am settling for still being 30 pounds overweight after having lost 130 lbs. For whatever reason I can't seem to shake the last 30. I've been stuck at this weight, within a ten pound window either way, for a year and a half now no matter what I do. I don't even feel like losing 130 was a big victory anymore because I got so fixated on how I didn't reach my ultimate goal! SO lately I'm trying to step back and realize I actually did successfully lose a lot. Obviously this is different from your situation but maybe sometimes our bodies just decide something a little different than what we decide our ultimate goal is?22
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seekingdaintiness wrote: »I have, and this might be unpopular around here but currently (at least for now haha) I am settling for still being 30 pounds overweight after having lost 130 lbs. For whatever reason I can't seem to shake the last 30. I've been stuck at this weight, within a ten pound window either way, for a year and a half now no matter what I do. I don't even feel like losing 130 was a big victory anymore because I got so fixated on how I didn't reach my ultimate goal! SO lately I'm trying to step back and realize I actually did successfully lose a lot. Obviously this is different from your situation but maybe sometimes our bodies just decide something a little different than what we decide our ultimate goal is?
For what it is worth, I think dropping 130 lbs to being 30 lbs overweight is a huge success. A huge mental accomplishment, a huge physical accomplishment. Maybe in a year or so you might decide to drop another 5 or 10 maybe not.
Maintaining the 130lb loss for year and a half is a huge accomplishment too because that means habits stuck and you adapted to your healtheir lifestyle!10 -
I wanted to stay at 120, but actually went under that weight. I'm currently maintaining, so I'm not too concerned. I feel proud for losing 50 lbs, I sometimes feel insecure about my stretch marks and cellulite, but I've accepted that they are a part of my life now. Sometimes I doubt myself that I'm not "doing good enough", but when I think about my old habits and health a year and a half ago... I just think, "Shame on you! Look how far you've gone!"
If I were to have a conversation with my old self, it would be like talking to wall. I also took a look back at my old meals, my favorite was buttered spaghetti. I used to heap that butter and pasta all the time nearly every day for dinner. Now, I'm eating lean meats, vegetables, beans, fruit, ect. for dinner instead. My old self would probably kill to be the new me, so I just kinda got to think about that sometimes and be grateful to myself and give myself some credit.8 -
I hit original GW of 135 and stayed there for a year, but this year I decided I want to take off a little more and am aiming for 130 by May - I've got about 2lbs to go I think. Just the very few pounds off so far have started to slim my middle more which couldn't be nicer, I see some definition there. The only reason I'd reach lower would be to see if the inner thighs might be next, but at that point I'm just being excessively finicky. Depending on what 130 looks like I need to have a good think and either stay there or try to put that 5lbs back on in muscle and reassess again.3
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seekingdaintiness wrote: »I have, and this might be unpopular around here but currently (at least for now haha) I am settling for still being 30 pounds overweight after having lost 130 lbs. For whatever reason I can't seem to shake the last 30. I've been stuck at this weight, within a ten pound window either way, for a year and a half now no matter what I do. I don't even feel like losing 130 was a big victory anymore because I got so fixated on how I didn't reach my ultimate goal! SO lately I'm trying to step back and realize I actually did successfully lose a lot. Obviously this is different from your situation but maybe sometimes our bodies just decide something a little different than what we decide our ultimate goal is?
I think losing 130 is very inspiring, and maintaining that loss is even more awesome. Good for you2 -
I got bronchitis followed by shingles so MFP has been the last thing on my mind for the past month. I'm so happy to see this post resonated with so many people! For what it's worth, despite not exercising at all for a month I maintained in the low 140s...so this is definitely a weight my body feels comfortable at. Maybe after I am done with pregnancy/breastfeeding for good I'll try and get lower, but for now I'm feeling pretty good here8
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I am not convinced I should be heavier than I was in HS so I'm aiming for another 6 kg loss - putting me about 2-3 kg below what I was when I graduated. BMI would be about 20-21
Personally, I think it can work both ways. Yes you need a little more fat as you age to look less 'drawn', but younger people can look less 'saggy' and more 'thick' which is a better look.
I also feel that being lighter makes my joints feel a lot better and I generally feel better physically when lighter. This then makes me feel better mentally/emotionally.
I think it's very individual as well.
The last 10-15 lbs is difficult I am told, and yes finding that true here.1 -
I think I am giving up too. My ultimate goal was 130 lbs, I am 5‘4“ and stuck with 134 lbs. Most days I eat around 1200 cal but. Other days around 1800. Seems like my body really loves the weight I have now. And people say I got to skinny anyway. So... starting to eat my maintaining cals and still do my weight lifting. Maybe I try again later for the last 4 lbs.7
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My goal was 135 and I still gaze at it wistfully but seem stuck at 145 - 147 so I have adopted it for now. At my age (61) it is unlikely I will get down to my high school weight anyway. Most of my friends think I'm skinny now compared to my all time high weight of 251. My doctor is happy so I'm settling but maybe some day..........9
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