My best friend is on another fad diet. I give up.

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Replies

  • danceandplay
    danceandplay Posts: 75 Member
    I know that it's exciting to find something that really works for you and you want to share it with friends and family that also struggle with weight issues, but you just shouldn't unless they ask. I don't mean ask in passing. I mean, really say hey... I see you're losing weight and getting healthy. Can you please help me? That's when you sit down and walk them through your day and invite them to eat with you and exercise together. Unless they really take off and research what you are talking about, they're gonna need some handholding to develop good habits. Otherwise, just say diet and exercise because they aren't really ready for more.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    My family is ALL about the fad diets: grapefruit diet, cabbage soup diet, cookie diet. OMG...Before when I lost over 90 pounds, they kept saying, “I need to do what you’re doing” and when I’d tell them, they looked at me like I was an alien.

    Yes, I’ve gained most of it back, but I’m back on track and working with the bariatric team I was working with back then....and you know what? I weighed in last Tuesday, and weighed this morning....Scale was down 4 pounds. It’s amazing what happens when you log your food and go on a CICO basis. Nobody ever wants to believe that it’s that simple. My Fitbit Versa hasn’t even arrived yet. It’s supposed to be here Wednesday. (CAN”T WAIT!!)

    It really has become a “love them where they’re at” kind of thing. I can’t make them change or expect them to do things the same way I’d do them. They will have to find their own way through the forest just like I did. (Although sometimes I really wish I could just flick them on the head and they’d have an instant revelation!! LOL)
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
    MoiAussi93 wrote: »
    I've now read up on it. It's basically the "best" of vegan and the "best" of paleo (as determined by the creator). High in vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, high quality animal proteins, healthy fats, low glycemic fruits, moderate goat and sheep dairy, moderate real whole grains. Low in junk food and other heavily processed convenience foods. Apparently the creator (Dr. Hyman) uses the term "pagan" rather tongue in cheek. The author's previous book was about healthy fats.
    So, as I said earlier, the OP's friend seems to have found a nutritious "fad" diet. "Fad" being an odd term for nutrient dense, old fashioned diet.

    Which is great, but still won't cause you to lose weight unless you eat fewer calories than you expend.

    Neither will weighing your food and counting every calorie. Millions of people have done that and still eaten more calories than they expended....and therefore not lost weight.

    The point is to find a style of eating (either types of food and/or timing of when you eat them) that isn't overly burdensome for your lifestyle/personality and that makes it EASIER for you to eat less than you expend on a consistent basis. Counting calories is not necessary. And if you like the "fad diet" that you pick, you greatly increase the chance of being able to stick to eating appropriate amounts and losing weight.

    It's a given that eating in a way which isn't burdensome makes everything easier. Fad diets which needlessly restrict foods are the opposite of that.

    As for the supposed millions of people who accurately log and still don't lose, I don't believe in them. Multiple studies have found that obese people asked to log their eating record a far smaller percentage of their intake than people of normal weight. It's kinda tough to lose when, like actress Dawn French on a recent TV show where they tracked her eating using radioisotopes and compared it to what she admitted to eating, you are eating literally three times as much as you admit to.

    All dieters with a goal of losing weight need to restrict foods. Some choose to restrict a little bit of everything, and some focus on restricting specific foods.

    Restriction is not what makes a diet a fad. Sudden popularity is. The problem comes when people choose a diet just because it is new and shiny - aka popular. Honestly, I think that is true of most choices. New and shiny is not a good basis for a major decision.
  • Evamutt
    Evamutt Posts: 2,794 Member
    One of our sons lost about 100 lbs over 10 yrs ago (didn't gain it back) he didn't count calories, just changed the way he eats. My husband lost about 50-60 lbs in the last 2yrs not counting calories either but changed the amount & what he ate. Me, I ate "healthy" for years 7 didn't lose weight untill I came on here
  • ccruz985
    ccruz985 Posts: 646 Member
    Mine has taken to doing the same stuff. She used to be fit and healthy but she put on weight and has been bigger for the past few years and now, it's always some new crap. Shakes, pills, teas, etc etc. I give up.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...

    So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.

    I don't think the healthy meats and fresh fruit and vegetables are obligatory to get fit. Meat is completely optional for a fit person provided they're getting sufficient protein from other sources and fruits and vegetables are just as nutritious when they're frozen.
    i'm just trying to make an overall point that healthy eating habits ..not starving or fad diets lead to weight loss. i personaly eat meat, fruits, and tons of vegetables. and no dairy. yet.. i think people can eat dairy and be just fine..they can be vegan or vegetarian... . it is all choices.

    A calorie deficit leads to weight loss.
  • fb47
    fb47 Posts: 1,058 Member
    edited April 2018
    Kst76 wrote: »
    I think a lot of people looking at weightloss as simple as black and white.,its not.
    Yes CICO is the path to weightloss always. But its other factors involved as well. If it weren't, nobody would have issues losing weight..

    People have issues losing weight because of many factors that are usually caused by themselves (ex: weighing their food incorrectly, not tracking all the food they eat, overestimating their TDEE, etc...). If you go in countries where people are malnourished, rarely do you see an obese person who eats little amount of food, usually they are all thin and bones...or what about anorexic people, I have yet to see an obese anorexic person and this is without taking into account the 1944-45 Minnesota study (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment) where everyone was skin and bones by the end of the experiment, the holocaust is another example. So losing weight is all about CICO (not to be confused with tracking your macros/calories).
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    why worry about what any one else is doing?

    yes, i see friends do stupid diets and fad and lose and gain and gain more than they lost.

    yes, i see friends start and stop for whatever reason.

    no..... i dont care. they will either figure it out, or not. if they ask (and they ALL have) how i lost my weight (over 100 pounds) i tell them. what they do with that information is on THEM, not ME.

    i have my own problems to deal with, and worrying about what other people are doing, is not among them.
  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    edited April 2018
    fb47 wrote: »
    Kst76 wrote: »
    I think a lot of people looking at weightloss as simple as black and white.,its not.
    Yes CICO is the path to weightloss always. But its other factors involved as well. If it weren't, nobody would have issues losing weight..

    People have issues losing weight because of many factors that are usually caused by themselves (ex: weighing their food incorrectly, not tracking all the food they eat, overestimating their TDEE, etc...). If you go in countries where people are malnourished, rarely do you see an obese person who eats little amount of food, usually they are all thin and bones...or what about anorexic people, I have yet to see an obese anorexic person and this is without taking into account the 1944-45 Minnesota study (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment) where everyone was skin and bones by the end of the experiment, the holocaust is another example. So losing weight is all about CICO (not to be confused with tracking your macros/calories).

    You said it yourself. Factors manufactured in your head, inability to track calories, actual diseases, medical conditions will all mess with peoples abilities to lose weight.
    Its not that easy as it seems. Why...because we are humans.....
    So that is the black and white im talking about. There is a grey zone to everything in life. . Still, please hear me out......it is cico all the way when it comes to losing weight....but not everyone can get there as easy as I can.

    Anyway, I'm probably not making any sense to you..lol.
  • fb47
    fb47 Posts: 1,058 Member
    edited April 2018
    Kst76 wrote: »
    fb47 wrote: »
    Kst76 wrote: »
    I think a lot of people looking at weightloss as simple as black and white.,its not.
    Yes CICO is the path to weightloss always. But its other factors involved as well. If it weren't, nobody would have issues losing weight..

    People have issues losing weight because of many factors that are usually caused by themselves (ex: weighing their food incorrectly, not tracking all the food they eat, overestimating their TDEE, etc...). If you go in countries where people are malnourished, rarely do you see an obese person who eats little amount of food, usually they are all thin and bones...or what about anorexic people, I have yet to see an obese anorexic person and this is without taking into account the 1944-45 Minnesota study (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment) where everyone was skin and bones by the end of the experiment, the holocaust is another example. So losing weight is all about CICO (not to be confused with tracking your macros/calories).

    You said it yourself. Factors manufactured in your head, inability to track calories, actual diseases, medical conditions will all mess with peoples abilities to lose weight.
    Its not that easy as it seems. Why...because we are humans.....
    So that is the black and white im talking about. There is a grey zone to everything in life. . Still, please hear me out......it is cico all the way when it comes to losing weight....but not everyone can get there as easy as I can.

    Anyway, I'm probably not making any sense to you..lol.

    I get what you say, but there is still CICO involved even if you don't track your food. If you're gaining weight it's because beyond all of it, you are still eating over your maintenance without realizing it which still involves CICO. Someone who trully wants to lose weight will have to find the discipline to be in a caloric deficit which basically mean anyone can lose weight if they put their emotions and their wants aside...problem is that we are human and we don't do things always logically. If the majority of the North American population is fat is because as a society we listen more to our "wants" than what we actually "need" which is why you see regulary people over consuming in almost everything, not just food.
  • karahm78
    karahm78 Posts: 505 Member
    OP, I get it.... she’s your friend and you care about her! All you can do is tell her if she asks more questions and keep doing what you are doing on your goals. She’ll either get curious and ask more questions after she sees your continued success or she won’t. As long as she isn’t doing something dangerous you’ve done what you can, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    One of my friends lost 25 lbs doing the HCG diet. She eats 500 calories a day and takes diet drops that dont even have hcg in them. She gains and loses the weight. Basically she starves herself. I dont think that is healthy but she does it and looks good and her results were fast.

    I have a co-worker that did the same diet. She lost 60lbs really fast. Everyone in the office praised her determination. She gained a lot of it back and is now on to some sort of elimination diet and using only certain types of makeup and hair products (I'm confused as to how that helps with weight loss but I don't ask). Meanwhile I keep plugging along, weighing and logging and being consistent.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    It's hard enough to change my own habits. I don't concern myself with changing others.
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