Corniest Jokes/Puns

24

Replies

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,762 Member
    Did you hear about the Germans who got food poisoning?
    It was the wurst.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,762 Member
    I don't trust people that can't sit or stand.
    They're always lying.
  • kroe4
    kroe4 Posts: 111 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the Ocean?

    Bob.
  • go_cubs
    go_cubs Posts: 1,183 Member
    Can I get a picture, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?


    Can I?
  • huntersvonnegut
    huntersvonnegut Posts: 1,176 Member
    If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
  • huntersvonnegut
    huntersvonnegut Posts: 1,176 Member
    If a red head goes crazy is it called ginger snaps?
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,762 Member
    What do the Romans use to cut their pizza?
    lil Ceasers
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,117 Member
    I have a joke about steak but it's never well done...

    a good joke about a steak is very rare

    *badumtssss*
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A Gummy Bear.
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    What sound does a T-Rex make when it sleeps?

    A Dino Snore.
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    Ever had sex while camping in the woods?

    It’s *kitten* in-tents.
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?

    Where on Earth have you been?
  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
    What did the grape say when he got stepped on?
    Nothing he just let out a little whine.
  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
    11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

    Probably one of my favorites lol
  • gomissfitnes
    gomissfitnes Posts: 268 Member
    If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European!
  • _thisnameischosen_
    _thisnameischosen_ Posts: 168 Member
    edited April 2018
    I post this on every single joke thread on here but I feel like its one everyone (in the world) must know..

    *Ahem*

    Why are pirates called pirates??

    Because they arrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

    Cracks me up :D:unamused:
  • maymwah
    maymwah Posts: 10 Member
    ak61mike wrote: »
    I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,762 Member
    I post this on every single joke thread on here but I feel like its one everyone (in the world) must know..

    *Ahem*

    Why are pirates called pirates??

    Because they arrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

    Cracks me up :D:unamused:


    You know what has 8 legs, 8 hands, and 8 eyes?
    8 Pirates