New, don't know what to do

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Replies

  • ceiswyn
    ceiswyn Posts: 2,256 Member
    So... you don't actually want to lose weight? That certainly explains why you appear to be looking for excuses not to.
  • mitchkelly2446
    mitchkelly2446 Posts: 38 Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    So... you don't actually want to lose weight? That certainly explains why you appear to be looking for excuses not to.

    I guess I should want to. At the moment it feels like all cost and no benefit. Oh I get the physical fitness thing, but it feels a bit like being told "hey when you're fitter you can work even harder for even longer for the same reward. Won't that be just great?". Woop de doo...
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    mitchkelly2446 wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    So... you don't actually want to lose weight? That certainly explains why you appear to be looking for excuses not to.

    I guess I should want to. At the moment it feels like all cost and no benefit. Oh I get the physical fitness thing, but it feels a bit like being told "hey when you're fitter you can work even harder for even longer for the same reward. Won't that be just great?". Woop de doo...

    If that's your authentic answer -- and it's not "I really do want to, but I'm not sure I can, or I'm intimidated/confused/whatever" -- then you should listen to it. Maybe down the line, you WILL want to, and forcing yourself to be unhappy now will make that harder later on.
  • mitchkelly2446
    mitchkelly2446 Posts: 38 Member
    The answer is "I think I probably can but is it worth the stress, effort and additional mental pressure?" Which is better: thin, unhappy and compulsive-obsessive or fat and unhappy?
  • sauronseye
    sauronseye Posts: 40 Member
    mitchkelly2446 wrote: »
    I guess I should want to. At the moment it feels like all cost and no benefit. Oh I get the physical fitness thing, but it feels a bit like being told "hey when you're fitter you can work even harder for even longer for the same reward. Won't that be just great?". Woop de doo...

    Funny how your thread's title blatantly says you don't know what to do when clearly, you do.

    You've given up, for now.

    Have you read the various suggestions we all gave you? :)
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    mitchkelly2446 wrote: »
    The answer is "I think I probably can but is it worth the stress, effort and additional mental pressure?" Which is better: thin, unhappy and compulsive-obsessive or fat and unhappy?

    It's your life, your priorities are the ones that matter. If you'd rather give up on the fitness for now and concentrate on alternative methods of self care I don't think anyone here is going to tell you that you can't. Even if they did, it is your life, do what you want with it. But I do think you should find something else to try and improve your mental health. Whether that be more quality time with your family, indulging more time into hobbies you enjoy or (ideally) trying to get some therapeutic help for your depression, it doesn't need to be more meds.

    I would warn against trying to find comfort or happiness by indulging in food tho. Short term it makes you feel better but it can lead to long term health problems (see the many many threads on this forum on emotional eating) and you don't want to be in a position a year from now where you really DO need to focus on diet and exercise and with a lot more work to do. I gained 50lb when I was depressed, letting yourself eat whatever you want because you're sad is a really risky road to go down.
  • guitargirl55
    guitargirl55 Posts: 258 Member
    Take a deep breath, you have got this.
    Other commenters have recommended a lot of great suggestions on how you might improve your situation, and it seems like you always have an excuse on how nothing can improve your life. Although I know it may feel that way, you CAN turn your life around. It is your perspective of the situation that is coloring it in a very negative way.
    For example, you have a loving family that makes you food so that when you come home you don’t have to cook if you don’t want to. That is wonderful! You are so lucky to have that. It sounds like they really appreciate all that you do for them. You have a 90-minute drive to and from work. That gives you so much time to leave that negative work energy at work. You can take that long drive, and turn it into you time. Listen to a book on tape, jam out to music, meditate on the positive in your life.
    If you focus on the negative in your life, you will find a LOT of it, but if you look for positive you will find that there is so much good in your life that you are blinded to right now.
    If there is something in your life that is making you unhappy, and you want to improve your happiness, you have two options on how to deal with it: fix it, or chose to find some joy in it.
    I would recommend 2 things to you.
    1 – Pick one small part of your life that you can fix, and do it. Maybe take one of the MFP members’ suggestions. Fight, and push until that one part of your life is better. Don’t give up on it, or think that it is impossible. Tackle one small part, and you will feel so much better.
    2 – Stop the negative thoughts. Think about your thoughts, and try to recognize negative patterns. Are you constantly bashing your life all day? For example, thinking, “Great, another miserable day. Oh, and today is even worse because X Y and Z. I hate this life.” Recognize your negative thoughts, and think about why you are having them. What is causing them? Are they stemming from self-doubt? Jealousy? Then combat them: “I am alive today. I have a job, and a family. Today I get to do X Y and Z. I am a very fortunate man.”
    I know this is easier said than done, and I don’t mean to make it sound like a walk in the park. But if you really put your mind to it, you can do this! Stay strong.
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