Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
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Day 6 being sober. Very happy. Not finding it hard right now (it gets harder on the weekends). I have bought some nice new teas for myself, as well as this "chocolate drink" product made of raw organic cacao, cinnamon and coconut milk. It's so tasty and satisfying! I have had it at night the last two nights instead of wine and it's great. I recommend! I have also been drinking Lacroix. I find it a fun calorie free substitute. Just drinking a lot of non-alcoholic healthy treat beverages and loving life!!
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mdrhodes8317 wrote: »This is why I believe Rational Recovery is the only program for anyone concerned about their drinking.
While neither MM nor A.A. worked for Conn means only one thing: they didn’t work for Conn, Stern said. “There’s a spectrum,” Stern said. “It’s not that you’re either this or that. What this tells us is that we should put more effort into creating more choices.”
I don't see the need to be anti-AA here. People in need of advanced help are beyond what this thread can offer anyway. Even if someone here were qualified to give advice to someone like that who would do it in a thread with limited information? The part in bold is what I find easiest to believe. There is a spectrum and there is a need for many choices. For all we know the treatment for some of these poor souls like Conn may not even exist yet.
I think it is wise to focus on the part that Rational Recovery can offer people who identify with it. The beast/drinking brain/alcohol devil/lizard brain are a few of the names I have seen here associated with the internal struggle between the part that wants to drink and the part that doesn't.
ETA: I won't be commenting on AA anymore within this particular dialogue. I really do not want to see a debate in this thread.9 -
@mdrhodes8317 I will reread your post again. It takes me awhile to dissect and absorb things. And I will look into Rational Recovery. It does make sense. Thanks for your input. I know that I wish dearly that I didn't waste years depending on a toxic substance to solve my problems, to celebrate successes, to cope with stress, all while raising my children. And if your post helps a younger person avoid years of struggle, it was important you posted this story.6
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I will reread your post again. It takes me awhile to dissect and absorb things. And I will look into Rational Recovery. It does make sense. Thanks for your input. I know that I wish dearly that I didn't waste years depending on a toxic substance to solve my problems, to celebrate successes, to cope with stress, all while raising my children. And if your post helps a younger person avoid years of struggle, it was important you posted this story.
It was a hard read for me and I wish I had not read it tonight because it is closing in on bedtime. I have a really hard time dealing with deaths that result from a DUI.2 -
thiswillhappen wrote: »Day 6 being sober. Very happy. Not finding it hard right now (it gets harder on the weekends). I have bought some nice new teas for myself, as well as this "chocolate drink" product made of raw organic cacao, cinnamon and coconut milk. It's so tasty and satisfying! I have had it at night the last two nights instead of wine and it's great. I recommend! I have also been drinking Lacroix. I find it a fun calorie free substitute. Just drinking a lot of non-alcoholic healthy treat beverages and loving life!!
That's a great idea! 6 days sober here too. I've also been doing the Lacroix. Your chocolate drink sounds delicious! I'll have to try something like that!3 -
Very proud of myself tonight. Went out to eat and stuck to a very healthy menu item, with unsweetened tea. We even went to a brewery after and I just got some ice water. Home now and feeling good. I was more tempted than I have been in recent days but I'm proud of myself for sticking to it!11
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I will reread your post again. It takes me awhile to dissect and absorb things. And I will look into Rational Recovery. It does make sense. Thanks for your input. I know that I wish dearly that I didn't waste years depending on a toxic substance to solve my problems, to celebrate successes, to cope with stress, all while raising my children. And if your post helps a younger person avoid years of struggle, it was important you posted this story.
It was a hard read for me and I wish I had not read it tonight because it is closing in on bedtime. I have a really hard time dealing with deaths that result from a DUI.
Yes , I read that and my heart sank when I heard she killed two people. I know one of friends on this thread has a husband, If i am remembering correctly, had hurt someone while drinking and driving. I've thought about that a hundred times; our lives and other innocent lives can change on a dime from a bad decision.4 -
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
Wordy and detailed article about how we make decisions.
I've been reading a lot about the brain lately ; NOVA has a series of specials on the Brain which I found on Netflix.
Last two paragraphs copies and pasted below:
The next time that you need to make a decision, take a few deep breaths and think about the the pros and cons of your next move in a pragmatic and mindful way. Then, do the right thing for your well-being.
Using mindfulness could give various regions of your striatum and prefrontal cortex time to relay the true "neuroeconomic" costs of a decision and help you make smarter choices. Mindful decision-making can derail compulsive or addictive patterns of behavior and take you down a path that's in your best interest for long-term health, happiness, and overall well-being.
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Very proud of myself tonight. Went out to eat and stuck to a very healthy menu item, with unsweetened tea. We even went to a brewery after and I just got some ice water. Home now and feeling good. I was more tempted than I have been in recent days but I'm proud of myself for sticking to it!
@thiswillhappen To both of you, congrats! You've done very well these last six days. Xo3 -
I think I avoided one of the traps earlier in life because I was so scared to drink and drive that in social situations I would nurse the same bottle for hours.4
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@mdrhodes8317, while I appreciate your passion, I respectfully disagree that the program you endorse is the “only” way and that some of the posts here represent “mind games”. Some of us here are around your age and have also some years of experience behind us. A very important piece of this group is our support for each other even if our particular paths or approaches differ.
I myself have been educated on this thread by reading posts from a few folks who have been mightily helped by AA although I don’t think that would be the right fit for me.
Again, I do appreciate your input and am glad Rational Recovery has worked so well for you and many others.12 -
@JulieAL1969, thanks for the post. Mindfulness is key, I think
I’m just back from a delicious “fancy” restaurant meal where I drank soda and lime in lieu of my usual cocktail and wine. I feel so good now, but the aroma of the pinot noir next to me was hard to handle. Only rational mindfulness of the bigger picture kept me from ordering a glass or asking for a sip (I can be shameless)!7 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
Wordy and detailed article about how we make decisions.
I've been reading a lot about the brain lately ; NOVA has a series of specials on the Brain which I found on Netflix.
Last two paragraphs copies and pasted below:
The next time that you need to make a decision, take a few deep breaths and think about the the pros and cons of your next move in a pragmatic and mindful way. Then, do the right thing for your well-being.
Using mindfulness could give various regions of your striatum and prefrontal cortex time to relay the true "neuroeconomic" costs of a decision and help you make smarter choices. Mindful decision-making can derail compulsive or addictive patterns of behavior and take you down a path that's in your best interest for long-term health, happiness, and overall well-being.
Thanks for this. I have been stuck on a question that this may help me answer.2 -
I have been sticking to, or under my goal since getting home last week. May was not hard because of babysitting, but I was worried about June. I have been AF 2 nights this week, unplanned. I've learned from this thread to listen to my body. I used to open a beer at "beer thirty" automatically. This week I haven't. My hubby got a beer the other day saying beer thirty, I said I don't have a beer thirty anymore. He told me he knows, and he's impressed. Thank you all for sharing tools that work for you, it helps.7
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I've missed the last two pages. Sorry, will try to catch up soon.
I just wanted to share today's struggle.
Still haven't drunk since Jan 31. However, today I declined an upcoming work social event, saying to the practice manager that I would feel uncomfortable at a large social event being 'newly' AF.
She then was pressuring me to change my mind. This stressed me out. I'm already stressed about a big run I'm doing on Sunday. She said I have a few weeks to decide.
I hope I feel less stressed after Sunday and more confident about attending the social situation. I don't want to avoid these things forever.7 -
I've missed the last two pages. Sorry, will try to catch up soon.
I just wanted to share today's struggle.
Still haven't drunk since Jan 31. However, today I declined an upcoming work social event, saying to the practice manager that I would feel uncomfortable at a large social event being 'newly' AF.
She then was pressuring me to change my mind. This stressed me out. I'm already stressed about a big run I'm doing on Sunday. She said I have a few weeks to decide.
I hope I feel less stressed after Sunday and more confident about attending the social situation. I don't want to avoid these things forever.
That's very poor behaviour from a colleague and worse from a manager. No one has the right to make you feel obliged and under pressure. *kitten* them !
As for the race, it's normal, even the pros *kitten* themselves before a race. Channel that nervous energy. Once the gun goes off, you'll forget all about it. Good luck !5 -
Day 3 AF, I’ve been doing this commute 6 times a year for 6 years, today is the first time I’m not stressing, racing through to get beer, then more beer, then goto the toilet, then beer, then toilet , then queuing and swaying for the plane, wondering if I should goto the toilet again or if I cn hold it until I’m on the plane.
Sober travelling, who’d have thought it ?13 -
Welp I had 2 coconut rums last night..... Lost my job so I did not cope in the bestest of ways.... But today is a new day! No drinking for the rest of the week! How are y'all doing this morning with your goals?
aww sorry about the job. You can do it. btw I loved coconut rum drank it in college a lot.4 -
trishfit2014 wrote: »Welp I had 2 coconut rums last night..... Lost my job so I did not cope in the bestest of ways.... But today is a new day! No drinking for the rest of the week! How are y'all doing this morning with your goals?
aww sorry about the job. You can do it. btw I loved coconut rum drank it in college a lot.
@trishfit2014 thank you! I take it as a sign I should stay at home with my kiddies over the summer! Lol2
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