Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
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amberellen12 wrote: »I wish I could say I’ve been AF for June but I haven’t. If you can’t be honest here where can you be! Though I have cut back and have had some AF days it isn’t nearly as many as I want. I feel so great the next day when I don’t drink I have to wonder WTH is wrong with me that I don’t want to feel that way all the time! Oh well back to it.
I joined an aqua fit class that is every MW&F at 9am so I know I won’t drink the evening before because I can’t imagine getting into that pool and exercising hung over.
That is a tough question to answer. Some of us describe the desire to drink like a spoiled inner child that wants what he/she wants and doesn't care that the grown up part of us will have to deal with whatever fallout there is tomorrow.4 -
@lorrainequiche59, thanks for your encouragement. I truly relate to everything you say. I made it through vodka tasting today. The professionals at each site were totally respectful when I said I was the driver and therefore not tasting. One even gave me a free shot glass like the tasters got. It has the name of the distillery on it and I’m thinking I need to use it in some creative way to remind me of this small victory.
Anyway, what is helping me most in this AF journey (after numerous starts and stops) is a focus on self care. My swim in the cold river tomorrow morning is a pleasure I won’t give up for the sake of some alcohol tonight. I deserve better.8 -
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So far my "Dry 'til July" has gone okay. There were 2 nights this week I got a minor urge to have a drink for one reason or other - then I mindfully realised I have decided *not* to drink, and the urges passed easily. But now ... IT'S FRIDAY ... so I am starting to think I might have a minor battle on my hands this evening. I am deciding to make plans that avoid going anywhere where alcohol is served. Second battle is Saturday ... again I think for this weekend, avoidance will be the key. Plus I need to re-affirm : I do *NOT* want to drink this weekend!
Good luck to you all this wonderful Friday. Stay strong ... you're not alone.6 -
Hugs to @NovusDies for the resources post. In the spirit of that, I'll rephrase what I posted about Tomorrow You that people have remembered several times.
(This works for drinking, but also eating, staying up too late, overspending, lack of exercise, and you might be able to think of more things to add.)
Be Kind to "Tomorrow You"
Instead of lumbering myself with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, I think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
I worry about "me" and don't want "Tomorrow Me" to feel awful.
Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic, I might add.)
We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to Tomorrow You.
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really having trouble staying AF. Advice?4
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My dear mother in law of 32 years is in the hospital, probably dying today. My daughter had a beautiful baby girl 10 days ago. Being AF allows me to fully experience the joy and sorrow of these "circle of life" moments. I do not wish to dull either emotion with wine. I need to be fully present for my sad husband and father in law. I need to be on the ball for my daughter and her 2 little girls. I wish all my friends on this thread a good day and success with their personal goals.
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My dear mother in law of 32 years is in the hospital, probably dying today. My daughter had a beautiful baby girl 10 days ago. Being AF allows me to fully experience the joy and sorrow of these "circle of life" moments. I do not wish to dull either emotion with wine. I need to be fully present for my sad husband and father in law. I need to be on the ball for my daughter and her 2 little girls. I wish all my friends on this thread a good day and success with their personal goals.
I can relate to what you are going through facing the death of someone you love & being emotionally present for the lows of your sadness, yet also the highs of your joy for your daughter & grandbabies.
When my BFF was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer a few months into 2017, I was sober & remember being glad as I was thinking of how I would react if I wasn't. It enabled me to truly be there for her & not wallow in my own sadness. The sobriety didn't last through her entire cancer journey though & when she died this past April, I turned to the "familiar" AND unhealthy way of coping...or should I say, numbing. Then realized in short order, THAT is not the life I want to live. I watched my friend cling to life accepting treatments that she DID NOT WANT to accept in order to live another day feeling like absolute CRAP & at the end wanting it to end cause the pain & suffering was too much to bear. SO it was a blessing when she was no longer suffering but I will miss her till I take my last breath.
If she were here today, she would want me to cling on to my life without any more suffering through my pain too. And I now know that the only way for that to happen is to deal with it head on without anesthetizing myself. Because by doing THAT numbing thing I am wasting my life. I'm not just numbing the pain by self medicating, I'm also numbing any joy that I can have, because all that unresolved pain is still sitting there affecting every waking moment, every decision I make & preventing me from fully living my life.
So my heart goes out to you & I hope the best for you. May you also have success on your journey. Take Care & enjoy your grandbabies!! 9 -
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trishfit2014 wrote: »
I love the AE. I am thinking of redoing it to keep all the info fresh in my head. It will be interesting to compare my thoughts today to those 6 months ago. Her FB group is really great, too, it's a closed group so your FB friends cannot see your posts. It is so encouraging, supportive and informative.
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really having trouble staying AF. Advice?
I already mentioned finding a different way to occupy yourself during your drinking window. You may need to add accountability to that strategy if it is not working. Get a friend or relative involved in your new activity and tell them why.
Make a list of the reasons you want to quit for the rest of June. If you drink at home hang the list between you and your source of alcohol to remind yourself later. If the reasons include weight loss hang a picture there too. Prioritize your goal so that when you start your struggle you have more ammunition.
Remove the temptation. This is only a short term strategy in my opinion but if getting started gives you momentum then you need to stay away from the alcohol outside your home and get rid of the alcohol inside your home (maybe give it to a friend for safe keeping if you intend to drink again).
I don't want to push you to share if you are uncomfortable but if you do it might help someone that identifies with you a chance at catering advice to your situation.
ETA: This doesn't replace other advice you were given or may be given. This is to add to the list of ideas that might possibly help. Understand that what works for one person may not work for you. I, personally, don't respond to alternative drinks like tea or mocktails while some people swear by them as an effective aid. I do believe they help some people, maybe even most people, but they don't help me.
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i sleep so much better when i don't drink.it's so night and day, it's ridiculous. AF since tuesday. our family will go out to dinner for my husband's birthday on sunday. he is complaining about the tire around his waist - so i'm hoping he'll choose to forfeit drinks at this resto. but if i do have , it will be ONE. maybe none at all. we will see. i just have to keep making that iced tea in the afternoons! have a happy friday friends!8
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Since this is Friday I want to remind anyone like me and myself that the only reason why the weekend seems harder is because I want it to be harder to give myself an excuse to drink.
The truth is what gives me strength the lies are what diminish it.8 -
My dear mother in law of 32 years is in the hospital, probably dying today. My daughter had a beautiful baby girl 10 days ago. Being AF allows me to fully experience the joy and sorrow of these "circle of life" moments. I do not wish to dull either emotion with wine. I need to be fully present for my sad husband and father in law. I need to be on the ball for my daughter and her 2 little girls. I wish all my friends on this thread a good day and success with their personal goals.
Warm thoughts going your way during this difficult time. 2 -
@JenT304 I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending hugs.2
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Hey Guys, my resolve is sliding down the tubes. I will get it together, but I may lay low for awhile. I am out of my routine because school's out. I haven't exercised, have a sinus infection and drank two nights this week (not too much but even two drinks is more than I want). No need to comment; that's how life goes. Sometimes, I have great determination and resolve like I did during the winter months.
I have to buckle down; do some journaling. Listen to some podcasts and regroup. And just chill. Xo
Summer goals:
*walk every day for 30 min.
* read a book for 30 min.
* sit in nature and have coffee
* shut off the computer
*meditate more
*realize life isn't as serious as I make it out to be'
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@JenT304, this has been a year of upheavals (of all kinds) for you, hasn't it? I'm so glad your going AF has coincided with all the changes because that allows you to really experience everything in the moment and not put it off via alcohol. I'm also glad you have the granddaughters to soften the harsher realities of life. Sending you good thoughts and energy!
Meanwhile . . . I have a book inscribed at a book-signing the night before I did a triathlon in 2004: "To D, Swim, Bike, Run . . . EAT!!! Anthony Bourdain." So sad to awaken to news of his death. Another reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. RIP and prayers for his 11-year-old daughter.8 -
Day 8 alcohol-free. Last night was tough because I was having a rough night and a glass of wine would have really hit the spot. I avoided it though with lots of tea, sparkling water and some low fat popcorn to snack on. Here comes the (sober) weekend! I am up to the challenge.9
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